Previously on All My Toys!
Following the Club Ritz Inferno, Miss M lost her beloved pooch Chewie. Her daddy Big Boy Caprice was on the run for various crimes. Miss M and her friends were all safe from the flames of club chaos, and unknown to Miss M, she was saved by high school sweetheart Toxie: the Toxic Crusader! Also unknown to M, her former flame Bruce Wayne has recalled his memories and love for the dreamy dorkette. Dick Tracy might not like that. Oh, and just when M thought her life couldn't become more drama-filled, her mafioso pops has shown up on her door step seeking refuge!
Miss M's apartment, picking up right after episode 321!
Miss M: Do I have prujoot? Does a bear cacadi in the woods? Of course I do. I've got mozz. Sausage and peppers. Cutlets. Crackers. Some stuffed artichokes. Seriously?
Big Boy Caprice: Attagirl. Itch, go on in the kitchen and make us some sausage and peppers eh? Lil antipasto too.
Itchy: You got it boss.
Miss M: Excuse me? No. No. This is not Burger King. You cannot have it your way. You are a criminal dad! The police are looking for you! My boyfriend is looking for you.
Big Boy Caprice: (waves hands in the air) Eh, I don't care about that buffo. You won't be calling the police. Ya know why?
Miss M: (pops out hip) Why?
Big Boy Caprice: Cuz somebody has to keep you safe. You don't get it. Just like your mother. You fail to hear with your ears and you have eyes that cannot see- Alexis Carrington Colby.
Miss M: I can keep myself safe thank you very much.
Itchy: Hey kid, your kitchen down the hall to the right or left?
Itchy: Thanks kid.
Miss M: Darn it! Hey! You both need to leave! Dad!
Big Boy Caprice: What? What?
Miss M: You can't stay here. You have to go, I mean it. Dad. You have broken my heart.
Big Boy Caprice: I know. And I'll beg for your forgiveness as long as I'm alive. But baby, you gotta listen to me. I've done some things. Lots of things. Not proud of 'em. Not one bit. But that's the past.
Miss M: For you. I just learned about it!
Big Boy Caprice: Baby, there are men out there, men I once called friends, who are trying to take my place. There are also very powerful men, well, that are just a little upset with the present circumstances. They will have no problem hurting you to get to me. Trust me baby, it is better that I am here. To protect you. Until all this blows over.
Miss M: How long could that be?
Big Boy Caprice: (shrugs) I dunno. Weeks? Months?
Miss M: Months?! Dad! You can't be here. If there are men that might want to hurt me to get to you, what's to stop them from hurting Yvie? I can't have her here!
Big Boy Caprice: Eh, she's safe with that billionaire. It'll all cool down soon.
Miss M: Ha! A billionaire you tried to kill. Guess it's a good thing Bruce didn't die.
Big Boy Caprice: I regret that now. I truly do. I much prefer him over the yellow hat boobotz.
Miss M: Dad! What is so wrong with Dick Tracy? Other than he is a lawful man?
Big Boy Caprice: None of 'em are worthy of your love. They don't deserve you. You deserve nothing but the best.
Miss M: But you don't get to decide that dad. I do. My goodness you have just made a mess of things!
Big Boy Caprice: Yeah, I know. But you listen, I'm gonna make it right. Itch and I will only be here a week tops. We'll get it all sorted out. Now come on, that sausage smells good don't it?
Miss M: Oh dad. No. I can't do this.
Big Boy Caprice: Yeah you can. And while you're at it, you might wanna get that car checked. That noise you've been talkin about for months, that could be a bomb. From one of my enemies.
Itchy hums a tune while cooking.
Big Boy Caprice: Woo wee it smells good in here.
Itchy: You got it boss. (whispers) Hey, you think there could really be a bomb in the kid's car?
Big Boy Caprice: Nah. But if it'll get her to take it in, eh, why not?
Itchy: You're a good dad boss.
Big Boy Caprice: Nah, I got work to do.
Miss M: (storms in) What is this?! You guys really need to leave! This is just (pauses) oh that smells really good.
Big Boy Caprice: Itch knows his stuff. Gonna do a lil spread for us.
Miss M: Where did you learn to cook?
Itchy: My gram. Same as you I'm sure. Boss always told me how good his mom could cook.
Miss M: My grandmother was the best.
Big Boy Caprice: She was an amazing woman rest her soul. I'm headed to the livin room Itch. Tell us when it's ready eh?
Itchy: You got it boss.
Big Boy Caprice: (plops on the couch) This uh room, it sure is pink.
Miss M: Yeah, that's what happens when I am in charge.
Big Boy Caprice: Oh? You're in charge eh? Bossy like when you were little.
Miss M: Dad, I mean it! If you staying here is to protect me, which is nice, and I'm still incredibly mad at you by the way! (breathes in deeply to calm self) There will need to be rules.
Big Boy Caprice: (flipping through tv) Oh, look Jaws. We watched this all the time. So go on. What are the rules?
Miss M: No illegal activity in my house. I want this space to be a place of peace. I have already lost my dog and I am on the verge of an emotional break with everything going on. You do anything illegal in here, I call the police asap.
Big Boy Caprice: Fine. You lost your dog? The pink poofy one?
Miss M: Yes. Chewie. Short for Chewbarka.
Big Boy Caprice: What a goofy name.
Miss M: Dad!
Big Boy Caprice: Ok, ok. (chuckles) What's the next rule?
Miss M: You have a week to figure this out and then I call the police.
Big Boy Caprice: You need a rule to fix this hole in the wall behind my head. A gun go off in here or somethin?
Miss M: (sighs) No. I just hung the frame wrong. Dad. Did you hear me?
Big Boy Caprice: Oh marone! Yeah, yeah, I heard you. But let me ask you this? Do you really have what it takes to call the police on me?
Big Boy Caprice: I know I'm no saint. I've let you down. I know. But family is more important to you than anything else in this world. You really think you could call the cops on me?
Miss M: (stammers) Yeah. Yeah I really do. I'm going to bed. It's been a day. Enjoy your sausage. (perks up with a sudden realization) And another rule! You guys better clean up after yourselves! Because I sure as heck won't!
Miss M storms off.
Miss M: (plops on her bed) Oh what in the world do I do now? He's right. How could I ever call the police on my dad? How is this my life? I'm in deep. Mother Fu-
Cue episode credits!
Up Next! Miss M finally learns what's wrong with her car!
Miss M: Excuse me? No. No. This is not Burger King. You cannot have it your way. You are a criminal dad! The police are looking for you! My boyfriend is looking for you.
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