All My Toys: Dreaming Is Free

At long last All My Toys returns! Where has Miss M been? What kinds of adventures have been going on in Toy Valley? Click the link to find out!




Inside the room of the ultimate dorkette, the beauty and the brains behind Miss M: Michael Lynn!

Michael Lynn: (typing away on her laptop in wistful monologue) So that is it my dear friends. It is with great fondness that I thank you all for reading but alas it is time to close the Diary and wish you all nothing but happiness. Farewell and thank you for always reading and being there. Love, Miss M.

Michael Lynn: There. The end of Diary of a Dorkette. I can't believe I am actually doing this. I am doing the right thing though. I have said all I need to say on matters most important to my heart. Speaking of my heart, I think I had too many nachos and tacos because I am burning in my damn chest. Oh goodness. Looks like tonight I will be dreaming while on acid reflux. Everything should be colorful though.

A couple hours later...

Michael Lynn: Damn stomach acids. I can't sleep. Why hasn't my Zantac kicked in yet?

Michael Lynn: (stares off into the ceiling) Did I do the right thing? Should I have really ended the Diary? Oh why must I be so indecisive?

Suddenly a visitor arrives!

Michael Lynn: Is someone there? Excuse me?! Who are you?

???: You really don't know?

Michael Lynn: Umm, are you someone I outbid on eBay? I can assure you whatever I won will have a better home with me. I run a lovely toy spa.

???: I am you. You are me.
Michael Lynn: What kind of sick joke is this?
???: Oh goodness I forgot how dumb I was in my thirties. I am you from the future.

Michael Lynn: You are me from the future? How far off into the future? Holy moley do I make it to like 105 years?
Future Michael Lynn: No, this is you at 64.

Michael Lynn: Excuse me?! I am going to have horns and a full on goatee at 64? How do I get shorter? That is like thirty years from now. I don't understand. Do I just not give a shit when I get older?

Future Michael Lynn: You have already stopped giving a shit. That is how we end up here at 64.
Michael Lynn: Oh no.

Future Michael Lynn: Your mistake at ending Diary of a Dorkette too soon places you on a course that forever changes your life. You will lose an eye. You will also eat so many tacos that your breast size will triple to which you think will benefit you but it will chip away at her vertebrae and your stomach will leak acids into your system giving you this gray pallor.
Michael Lynn: I find love though right? Like I find the love of my life and we live together and just fall into a pit of nachos and die happy. Right?

Future Michael Lynn: Foolish girl. Always thinking that love is around the corner. When will you learn?
Michael Lynn: Tell me what to do!

Future Michael Lynn: Go back. Return to Toy Valley. You are not finished with them nor they you.
Michael Lynn: I don't know that I can go back. It has been so long. What if nothing is the same? What if I suck and they hate me? We already know what happens when I mess with the universe and go away.

Future Michael Lynn: (sternly) Just go back.

Michael Lynn: Ok! Ok! I'm going. Gawd.

Diary of a Dorkette Presents:

All My Toys

Dreaming is Free

In Toy Valley...

Miss M: I can't thank you enough for closing the pool early so that I can have it to myself.

Peppa-Mint: Oh of course Miss M. I don't believe all that negative stuff about you. You are always welcome here.

Miss M: I know. Ever since I sent the world into a post apocalyptic Mad Max style mess I just have never really found my footing again. I made sure everything in the world was back to normal though. That counts for something right?
Peppa-Mint: True, but we all remember that scary world. It's like you Scarlet Witched us. People are still ticked off a year later.
Miss M: Yeah. It has just been a crazy time. I can't believe August is about to be over.

Peppa-Mint: Time flies. Soon the pool will be closed and life will be a little different as we head into the fall.
Miss M: I think I am looking forward to the holidays this year. I think.
Peppa-Mint: Speaking of holidays, last time you were here you were telling me a story. Something about your boyfriend and last December.

Miss M: Oh my goodness, I forgot. Last December! What a nightmare! So after Bruce and I lost our daughter Yvie  in 2015 we went through this really weird phase. We just couldn't find our way back to each other.

Miss M: However we had this conversation in December and I just really felt we were on our way to fixing things. So I went to the Batcave because he was still rebuilding Wayne Manor.
Peppa-Mint: Batcave?
Miss M: Oh yeah. I totally shouldn't be telling you but Bruce Wayne is Batman. It is important that you know this so you can understand the story, but don't tell anyone ok?

Peppa-Mint: Umm sure.

Miss M: Anyways so I showed up with breakfast and to my horror he was there with Vicki Vale in last night's clothes. It was so obvious that he had slept with her. I mean Vicki freakin Vale! She already ruined the Batcave once and here she was doing it again. I stormed off and that was the end of Bruce and me.

Peppa-Mint: That is so gut wrenching! You two were so cute together.

Miss M: It is ok. We just can't make it work.

Miss M: Last I heard he was off in Europe doing this heavy glam death metal solo band tour thing. He has always had a large dose of angst to work off. It has actually been for the best.
Peppa-Mint: So what happened next?

Miss M: Well I rang in 2017 basically locked in my room. April had fired me from writing at Diary of a Dorkette. The rest of the world still hated me. I basically ate an endless carton of fries for all of January. Things got a little funny though. I kept getting these messages to meet this person who claimed to be a fan. So I decided to put the clues together from the messages to meet them at this weird underground facility.

Miss M: I assumed I was walking into my own death trap which seemed ok given my loneliness and all around sense of feeling horribly lost in life. Only it wasn't some ambush, I actually was introduced to this lovely robot chick named Glitter and her boyfriend Brian Farrell. They actually helped me when the world was in its post apocalyptic phase. Anyways they were now working for Nick Fury and they were recruiting me to join their new super hero team since all the major heavy hitter heroes are all busy making their film debuts and stuff. So I agreed.

Miss M: We don't really have a name but we are the team that goes around making sure that the world is a safer place. The team is quite fabulous. We are led by Storm who is a bad ass. I got my friend Billy to join since he wasn't doing much after his husband Sulu went into the future again. Samus Aran also joined the team because it is Samus. I also slipped back into my super hero alter ego WoW. I personally love my new bob and bang when fighting crime. It is just a fun look.

Miss M: So now we are at the end of February and after solving some small town crimes, we went on our fist big mission. It was to this sub kingdom in Latveria. There was some demented general rounding up members of the LGBT community and trying to trick their brains into thinking they were straight, only the general was turning them into weird zombie hetero super soldiers.

Miss M: Luckily we got him and were able to reverse the super hetero soldier serum returning the LGBT community to their proper place. What is really great is that they formed their own army to overthrow Doom and have made Latveria into quite the world gay community. It is kinda fabulous.

Peppa-Mint: Sounds like a great thing!

Miss M: Oh that is nothing. March and April brought on a whole new adventure and team mate. Oola came to the base of operations in desperate need of our heroics. It is such a weird thing, Oola was dead and should technically have been in the After Life. I don't know how she managed to escape going back, but then again what would that matter? I was once in the After Life too ya know?

Peppa-Mint: I remember. Your funeral was front page news. Mainly because that sewer explosion you were in ravaged part of the city.

Miss M: Yeah. Well anyways Oola has a strong need to eradicate sex trafficking. After her time being a sex slave to Jabba the Hutt she realized that an important calling for her life would deal with becoming a warrior for all women. She knew of a large underground human trafficking ring that needed to be stopped.

Miss M: With that information in place we went about taking the ring apart and providing services and help to the thousands who had been taken. With no team name and no interest to be in the media, the world has been scratching their heads trying explain the things we do. Those who really need our help though know where to find us. We are always there.

Peppa-Mint: Such a wonder. Here you are, the most hated woman in the world and yet you are fighting for the world.
Miss M: It is fine. They don't need to know. Besides there are bigger things for us to worry about.

Miss M: In May one of our correspondents, her name is Barbie, she was on our space station running some tests on erratic space energy. She believes that the space energy is actually a language and she is busy trying to figure out what the language is to maybe help us understand who is speaking it. We fear it might be something very strong and scary.
Peppa-Mint: When will Barbie crack the code?
Miss M: Not sure but these things usually wrap up during sweeps. So maybe November? This all brings us to the current dilemma at hand. The 2016 election. Remember how the race was close between Franken Berry, Boo Berry, and Count Chocula?
Peppa-Mint: Yes I do.

Miss M: Well ever since Count Chocula won things have just been really weird. He is always giving these grand public interviews discussing how great he is and what he is doing for the country when all he really seems to be doing is pissing people off with his horrible policies. And then there is his face. President Chocula does not even look like himself. There have also been rumors that Cobra rigged the election, but for reasons no one knows. Although it is Cobra. They never really need a reason for doing evil things. I have been watching them though.

Miss M: Every press conference that goes on I am there watching in the shadows trying to understand what is going on. President Chocula simply can not ruin this country and if Cobra is pulling the strings, well, we have big problems ahead of us.

Peppa-Mint: Miss M, you certainly lead a life. What of your friends though, April? Guy Friday? Irma?
Miss M: I don't really know. I have not really spoken to them. I miss them though.

Peppa-Mint: Ya know M, it is getting a little late. I should start cleaning and locking up.

Miss M: Ok sure! Do you mind if I swim around for a bit on my own?
Peppa-Mint: Sure. I will get you when it is time to go. Enjoy the night swim!
Miss M: Thank you.

Miss M plops herself on to a pool float.

Miss M: What a year so far. So many twists and turns. (her mind drifts) I wonder what it all would have been like.

Miss M: If Yvie was alive. Would we have all been one big happy family? I guess there is no point asking such things.

Miss M hears a noise.

Miss M: Excuse me? Peppa-Mint?

Miss M: Guess it is all in my head.

Before she can even notice, Miss M screams as her worst nightmare comes true.

She struggles to fight but can only hear the loud maniacal laugh of the original nightmare come to take her to a watery grave.

Moments later...

Peppa-Mint: Ok Miss M, everything is locked up. Time to go! Miss M? Are you here?

Peppa-Mint: That is weird, where did she go?

Screams ring out into a dark room. Miss M jumps up from her bed.

Miss M: Son of a thousand bastards get off me!

Miss M: Oh. I am back in my apartment. How did I get home from the pool? I don't even know what is real or not anymore. It does not matter. I am back. These past few months have been busy. Saving the world with an unnamed super hero team keeps one busy. I am going to make the most of 2017 though. I have to find out what Cobra is up to. There is also this potential threat from space and I mustn't forget about all those friendships that I have neglected. I will make things right.

Miss M: I have no doubt about it! First thing is first, I need some fries. I am famished!

Meanwhile in a more sinister place...

Moth Lady: Come child, we have been travelling a long ways but we are almost to help.

Moth Lady: Sanctuary! Sanctuary. I demand sanctuary!

Shadow Weaver: Who dares to demand sanctuary from the Fright Zone?! There is no sanctuary here.

Moth Lady: Maybe not for the pure of heart, but what about those made of evil?

Shadow Weaver: I know you. You communicate and can see through bugs.
Moth Lady: Yes. Every bug. From the past to the present, even the future. I am the three eyed moth.

Shadow Weaver: Don't come here with that Game of Thrones nonsense. You were a henchwoman to the Dragon Queen. Why would you come here? Shouldn't your queen take you in?

Moth Lady: I am running from the Dragon Queen.
Shadow Weaver: Why?

Moth Lady: I wanted to protect this child from the evil of the queen's friend. For my traitorous ways the queen and her friend want us both dead.

Shadow Weaver: I don't blame her. Children are vile little things and I haven't much time for traitors.

Moth Lady: Please Shadow Weaver. I know what you speak is not true. I recall a time you once took a child under your wing. You molded her into quite the warrior. She even became the greatest Horde Force Captain in recent memory.

Shadow Weaver: Do not speak of my past for which you know nothing. Unless you want me to kill you and the little brat.

Moth Lady: Shadow Weaver please. We need help. This is my daughter!

Shadow Weaver: Your daughter? You would dare to have a child?

Moth Lady: Believe me, the story of this child's birth is... complicated. My body was housing the soul of another. I did not want this child but have since changed my mind. She was thought dead but was brought back through magic. She has the potential to be a being of immense power.

Shadow Weaver: Immense power you say? Very well. You both can stay in the Fright Zone, but no one but myself must know of your presence. If Hordak were to find out...

Moth Lady: Perfect. We want to keep a low profile.

Shadow Weaver: Who is the queen's friend that wants you both dead?
Moth Lady: Her name is Barbarocious.

Shadow Weaver: Oh I am familiar with her. I loathe her. Follow me.

Moth Lady: Thank you. Come now. Like I promised, you will be safe with me. My Yvie.

Up Next!

Moth Lady learns just how dangerous life in the Fright Zone can be...
Miss M reunites with some familiar faces!