Miss M Presents: April O'Neil's Halloween Party of the Year- 2017 Edition!

Dear Diary,

It is Halloween. The one day of the year where we all get to dress up as something else and enjoy the thrills and chills of ghosts and goblins as well as the gobs of candy that will make our teeth chatter in the middle of the night from the sugars. Of course in this day and age where super heroes run rampant and cosplay makes dressing up a common occurrence, we must not forget the spirit of this day. It is a reminder that for some of us there are costumes we wear to escape who we are. Because sometimes who we are is seen as scary and grotesque. Something that people find revolting. We play pretend for a chance to live out the lives we truly want if only for a night. Not everyone is lucky to take their scary costumes off. Some are stuck forever full of unintended frights. Of course nothing is scarier than an angry mob terrified of what they do not understand. So enjoy your door to door candy but remember, the little monsters that go bump in the night might not be the person who looks weird or different, the little monster could be you.

-Miss M

Miss M Presents:

April O'Neil's Halloween Party of the Year- 2017 Edition!

Out in space...

Barbie: Ok. The messages have been received. I need to get back to Earth. I know who is trying to contact Miss M through time and space! I must hurry!

On Earth...

Miss M: Ok, I know I am forgetting something. Oh what could it be?

Miss M: Everything should be all set for April's party. I have all the supplies...

Miss M: (pauses) I feel like someone is watching me...

Miss M turns to see two decayed women standing behind her.

Miss M: Cool costumes.

Paige: Ughh.
Miss M: Excuse me?

Sasha: (growls out a menacing hiss)

Miss M: Ok not cool. I am outta here!

Miss M begins to run off and then shrieks as an army of undead wrestlers try to descend upon her!

 Backing away from the horde of zombies, Miss M backs up and comes face to face with the King of the Wrestle Walkers!

Miss M: Somebody help me!

Eyeing her chance at escape, Miss M acts quick!

Miss M: (hits the ground hard) Oof! Thank goodness my tush has some bounce to it.

Miss M screams as they just keep coming after her!

Miss M races to her car hoping to be safe.

Miss M: Damn it! My keys. Start you stupid car!!

Miss M: Come on. Start! Why won't you start!

A stone cold killer zombie strikes!

Miss M screams as the zombie tries to get in her car.

Luckily her car roars to life and she zooms off.

Moments later...

Blaring her horn loudly, Miss M drives up to her best friend and mentor April O'Neil's house.

Miss M: April! April! Let me in! Let me in! They are coming for me!

April: M, what the hell?

Miss M: Hurry! Lock the doors. We need to board the windows up now!

April: I am not nailing boards to my house! I have guests coming in three hours for my Halloween party! I don't have time for this!
Miss M: There are zombies trying to kill me! Wrestling zombies! Like Undertaker. I thought maybe it was just the regular Undertaker because he always looks dead, but he was actually really dead!

April: M, I need you to calm down. This is Halloween. They were just trying to scare you.

Miss M: (looks out the window) Oh my goodness! They are here!

April: Let me go see. This is so stupid.
Miss M: Look!

Undertaker: Miss M... Miss M... We're coming for you Miss M.

April: Zombies can't talk. This is a joke.

Miss M: No. Zombies can talk. I saw it in a Vincent Price movie once.

April: I don't know what you are talking about but I will say this much. Zombies are so five years ago. I can't even believe that we are involved in some crazy new plot dealing with a tired trope of mindless brain eating monsters. This is dumb.

Miss M: No. They are real.

April: No. I will tell you what is real: my temper! I have a party to host in three hours. I do not have time for this!

April storms outside.

April: Get off my lawn! This is ridiculous! I will call the police you stupid punks!

Undertaker: Agh! Grah! Hiss!

April: (screams) AHHH! He smells like death!

Miss M: Hurry! Get inside!
April: Oh my goodness they are really dead.

Miss M: It's what I have been trying to tell you!
April: We need to do something. You moonlight as a super hero, do something!

Miss M: I can't! I left my suit at home and I need my team for this job. I can't take on a whole army of zombie wrestlers! That Triple H is like three times taller than me!
April: You were always horrible at math. He's not that big.

Miss M: We can just ride it out. At some point Casey Jones will come home. Or some guests will arrive. That will even things out and then we can just drive them away.

April: I am calling the police.

Miss M: That's a better idea.

April: Shit! The phone line is dead.

Miss M: Oh April! This is really not good.

April: Ok. They have not been able to get in yet. So we are ok for now. Let's get to a place where we can be safe if they find their way in.

Miss M: Oh April this is too scary.

April: Come on, we can survive this.

Miss M: You think so?

April: I am not dying in Versace. Not tonight. Not ever. Come on, let's get upstairs!

Miss M: You do look great in Versace.

Miss M: Eep!

Miss M: Ok. We will be ok here right?
April: Yes. Help me move the book case.

Miss M: Holy moly. I am tired. I didn't know you read so many books.

April: Of course. I am totally well read. Now come on, we have about three hours until people arrive to help us.

Thirty minutes later...

Miss M: Why hasn't anyone shown up? There should be guests arriving.
April: M, it has only been thirty minutes. The party doesn't start for another two and a half hours.

Miss M: Crapola from Shinola this stinks! What do we do?

April: We could always reminisce on past Halloweens.

Miss M: Why? I feel like every Halloween we celebrate is cursed.

April: No. We have celebrated some good ones.
Miss M: Care to refresh my memory?

April: Well there was that one from... I am having a hard time remembering.

Miss M: I remember one. Come to think of it, this Halloween I am recalling, I feel like it kicked off the long string of cursed Halloweens since.

April: Are you talking about the school Halloween dance from 199X?

Miss M: Yep. That is the one. I used to look so different back then. I can still feel like it was yesterday...

Flashback to Halloween 199X!

April: Halloween school dances are the best idea.
Glo: I know. Great costume by the way. Space is the place.

April: Tell me about! My helmet was bothering me though.

Glo: It's still pretty cool. You even added your signature yellow.

April: Of course! What are you going as Glo?
Glo: A birthday present. I am the best gift this dance could ever ask for.

April: Ok. I like it! I wonder what M is gonna come dressed as?
Glo: She didn't tell me.

April: Same here. Do you think she likes the help we gave her?

Glo: Oh yeah. I think it was overwhelming for her at first, but I know she wants to be normal and fit in.

April: I know. Hey. She is here. Oh no.

Miss M: Hey girls.

April: M! What are you doing? Where's your costume?
Miss M: I am in costume. I came as a bride.

April: But what about the wigs and make up we got at the mall?

Glo: Yeah, we thought you wanted to look more like a girl?
Miss M: I am a girl.

April: We know Miss M, but you know how the rest of the school treats you.

Miss M: Look. I appreciate the help but those wigs are itchy and I hate having to wear all that make up. I am tired of wearing a costume every day. I just wanted to feel pretty and wear a wedding dress. With my real face. Ya know one day someone will marry me. I will have the prettiest wedding ever. This is just practice!

April: (looks sad) You and those fairy tales. Sure thing Miss M. It will be amazing.

Miss M: I know right! I am really nervous. (pauses) Do I look stupid?

Glo: No! M you look great.

Miss M: Do I really? I just feel like I don't fit in and I just want to be a normal girl. Like a popular girl. Like one of them.

The girls look down towards the group of kids who rule the school.

April: M, you do not want to be one of those girls. They are rude little bitches.
Miss M: But they have boyfriends. The teachers actually like them and talk to them. They wear cool clothes and don't need wigs to cover their balding crown. People don't yell obscene things at them when they walk down the halls. They don't get shoved into lockers or their lives threatened. They look like they live in fashion magazines whereas I look like a creepy special effect from Fangoria.
Glo: Well we will always pick an issue of Fangoria over a fashion magazine any day.

April: M, don't worry about those things. Who you are is awesome and amazing. We wouldn't want you any other way.
Miss M: That's easy for you to say. You guys get to wake up everyday in a normal looking body.

April: Oh M. We know it is hard. We love you so much.
Miss M: Thanks. I love you both too. My best friends!

Glo: Yes! Now look, we are all dressed in fun outfits. We should twirl around on the dance floor! Come on!

They race off to dance the night away.

Elaine: Ugh gross. The freak girl showed up.

Travis: I can't believe they let it in wearing a dress. I heard it is really a dude.

Brandi: No way. That's just an ugly girl.

Justin: No, it is one of those things. A he-she. An it.

Brandi: No. It's a mutant. I heard it has eight phallic tentacles between its legs and a gap toothed vagina on its back.

Elaine: Eww. Haha. How pathetic. I mean look at it! Dancing in a wedding dress.

Brandi: That is the closest thing it will ever see to wearing a wedding dress.

Travis: (Justin) Bro, I heard it has an eye for you. Its gap toothed vagina wants you bad bro.

Justin: Nasty. I would never let that thing near me. If it tried to hit on me I would beat it in the head with a tire iron.

Travis: (laughs) Sick! I'd stab it with a knife over and over. Psycho style.

Elaine: I can't believe we have to look at that thing every day at school. They should remove it.

Brandi: Totally. Did you see how it wears those wigs? Trying to fit in? Total fail. Donna in trig told me that it wears expensive make up, and even that can't fix what's wrong with its face.

Elaine: Cover Girl don't cover boy. Come on, I have an idea...

Glo: Haha! I don't think I have moved that much.
Miss M: I know! They were playing our favorite songs!
April: Right? The absolute best.

Glo: I need to pee. Potty break.
April: Cool. Me too. You comin M?

Miss M: No. I think I will just hang here.

April: What? You always go to the restroom with us.

Miss M: Yeah but we are at school. And I just think that will cause problems.

Glo: So you are just going to hold it all night?

Miss M: I mean yeah. I will be fine.

April: M, don't be silly.

Miss M: Everyone at this school thinks I have a horde of phallic tentacles between my legs. I'm not like the other girls here. All I need is for one girl to see me in the restroom and freak out. I will be hunted down like a Salem witch.

April: But M, you are a girl just like the rest of us. You may not look normal but you are totally a girl.
Glo: Yeah. I mean come on. I have never thought of you as anything but.

Miss M: Thanks but I think I am just gonna stay here.

April: Ok. We will be back.

Miss M: Ok. (sighs) I do need to pee really bad though.

Miss M looks out across the dance floor as a slow romantic song plays.

Miss M: That looks nice. (fights back tears) I want that. It won't happen though. I am a mutant. A monster. I wish there was some guy from outer space to just swoop down and take me away. Like a space prince. And we will just fly away through the stars and he will think I am the prettiest girl he has ever seen.

Justin: Excuse me, are you talking to yourself?

Miss M: What?! No. Umm yes. I was. Let me guess, you want to make fun of me for it?
Justin: Normally I would but I actually wanted to talk to you.

Miss M: You want to talk to me?

Justin: Sure. Ya know, we have been pretty mean to you.

Miss M: Since we were all in kindergarten.
Justin: Yeah. It's just you are different. We don't know how to handle that around here.

Miss M: Yeah. I know.

Justin: Would you like to come hang out with us? Ya know, maybe be a popular girl for a moment. We'd like to get to know you more.

Miss M: Is this a trick?

Justin: No. I mean we aren't going to be best friends with you, but we have maybe been hard on you. Come on.

Miss M: Ok.

Miss M walks towards the cool kids.

Miss M: Hi.

Elaine: (smiles) Hi! Thanks for coming to talk to us.

Brandi: Yeah, your dress is really pretty. Where did you get it?

Miss M: It's vintage.

Travis: That means it is old right? 

Miss M: Yes.

Elaine: So we just want to know, what are you?

Miss M: Excuse me?

Elaine: Like what are you? Why do you look like that?

Brandi: Do you want to kiss Justin? We heard that is true.

Miss M: What? I don't understand.

Justin: Sorry, I don't swing that way freak.

Miss M: Wait. I thought you guys wanted to talk to me? To get to know me...

Elaine: (laughs) Oh isn't it pathetic? Why would we ever want to know you?

Brandi: Yeah. We don't even want you at this school.

Travis: You will never be one of us.

Miss M: Why would you do this to me?

Elaine: Because. You need to accept what you are and stop trying to be someone else.

Miss M: This is who I am.

Brandi: Well who you are is disgusting.

Miss M in all her nervousness realizes that maybe she should have gone to the restroom with her girl friends. An accident happens at the worst time...

Elaine: Wait. Oh you have got to be kidding me. Brandi look! It pissed itself!
Brandi: (laughs uncontrollably)

Travis: Shit that is nasty.

Justin: Ah man don't let it near you or you'll get mutant piss all over you.

Miss M: I... I...

Miss M runs off with tears no longer able to be contained.

Outside the school grounds...

Miss M: Oh my. Oh my. I can't go back in there. Why are they so mean? Why can't I just be normal? I just want to be normal. A normal girl like everyone else.

Suddenly!

Old Lady: Little weird girl in a dress, why are you crying?

Miss M: Excuse me? Who are you? Do we go to school together? That's a really good costume.
Old Lady: Ho, ho. This is not a costume. I am an old woman ravaged by the wheels of time. I stumbled upon this area after hearing all the music from the school. That's a lovely dress. Your mask is perfect for the season.

Miss M: This is not a mask. This is my face.

Old Lady: I see. Poor child. It is not easy looking unconventional. The world loves their conventional trappings of life.

Miss M: I mean whatever. Why are you here?

Old Lady: I enjoy the youth of the world. School dances make me think of my own youth which was a lifetime ago. You also seem in such distress.
Miss M: Look at me! I am hideous. A freak! I am never going to have a normal life!

Old Lady: If you could have a normal life, what do you think would be the number one thing to make that happen?
Miss M: I mean. I dunno. A boyfriend. Being a popular girl. (shakes head) Those things don't matter. Looking like a normal and lovely young woman is what would make my life normal. And I will never be pretty looking like this.

Old Lady: What if I said you could change those looks?

Miss M: I would say you are crazy.

Old Lady: No. I can help you. A bite from this candied apple will change your entire life. You will finally get to be one of those normal girls. I can't guarantee that you will find love or be popular, but you will indeed look exquisite.

Miss M: You do realize you are asking me to take candy from a stranger, eat it, and change my entire appearance. That just sounds bad, like nothing good will come out of this.

Old Lady: What could you possibly lose? Look, I will take a bite too. (prepares to bite)

Miss M: No. I believe you. This might be my inexperienced angst ridden teen self talking, but if what you say is true I don't care. Why not take a bite out of the apple?

Old Lady: Smart girl.

Miss M: (takes bite) Ok. I took the bite. Nothing is happening.

Old Lady: Give it time. You will notice changes in the morning, I assure you. But my child, you might want to hurry home and fall asleep. Beauty is pain and this is will hurt like hell.

Miss M: What?! Why didn't you tell me that?
Old Lady: And deter you from your true destiny? Silly girl. Go. Fall asleep and dream happy thoughts.

Miss M: Ok. I'll try to dream about finally getting to shop inside Contempo Casuals!
Old Lady: That's the spirit. Farewell my dear.

Miss M: Bye! Thank you.

Old Lady: Oh, one last thing. If you ever find that being beautiful is not what you thought it was, find me. I can help.

Miss M: Ha. Whatever you say but if I get to look beautiful tomorrow I will have all my dreams come true! See ya!

Old Lady: Dumb girl. (pauses)

Old Lady: There you are. I was beginning to think I lost you Maleficent.

Maleficent: Where have have you been? You know I only have so much time on Earth before I have to go back to the After Life. We have more things to do on Halloween.
Old Lady: I know. Let's go.

Maleficent: What were you saying to that creature in the dress?
Old Lady: I was doing what I do best, preserving my youth.
Maleficent: Another one bites the dust?

Old Lady: Of course. I cursed that young girl. Inside this candied apple are my energy orbs. They will radiate and turn her into a lovely beautiful woman. Of course she will never find what she seeks for she is less than smart. So one day when she is tired of her looks and pretty face, she will come to me and I will take that energy orb from her. It will be fully charged and I will continue adding on many more years to my own vanity and she will simply wither and die.

Maleficent: You really are a tired old queen aren't you?

Old Lady: Yes. Yes I am. Now let's find some more thrills and chills tonight. I do need to make one stop though, I have to collect another energy orb I implanted in a fool many years ago. Happy Halloween old friend.
Maleficent: Speak for your self you old fool. I'm from the After Life so my looks are forever frozen in time.

Old Lady: You bitch.

The two wicked souls cackle into the Halloween night.

Back to the present...

April: You never told me about that. About how your appearance changed. When you came back to school that Monday you had told everyone that you had been wearing a blue special effects mask the entire time. Our peers just thought you were a weird dork girl from then on.

Miss M: Well it is the truth. I took candy from a stranger and it changed me.
April: M, I wish you would have told me. Did it hurt?

Miss M: Yes. My blue skin melted and slid off like a well cooked rotisserie chicken.
April: M, who was that old woman?

Miss M: I have no idea. I never saw her again.
April: Was it worth it?

Miss M: I mean I guess so. I look normal. I fit into society. I think it was worth it.

April: Well what good are looks when you might be eaten by zombie wrestlers? Right? Are they still out there?

Miss M: Yes.

April: Shit. This is like the crappiest Halloween ever! This party is ruined!

Suddenly a beaming white light zaps around the house like lightning!

Miss M: Oh no. What do you think that was?
April: I don't know. Let's go and find out.

Miss M: April! We are tough ass chicks but we can't handle a gaggle of zombie wrestlers!

April: After everything you have been through I can't even believe you are saying that.

Miss M: Did you see Triple H? He looks like one bad dude!

April: Come on already.

They step outside and immediately feel a leery presence. Suddenly they see three strange beings before them.

April: Who are you?

???: (in a metallic holographic voice) I took care to rid the menace of the undead. My name is Burnheart. I am a super natural being from another galaxy. I have traveled all this way for you Miss M.

Miss M: Me? Why?

April: Yeah, why? She is my best friend and if you are here to hurt her we are gonna kick your ass!

Burnheart: You misunderstand. I would never hurt her. I traveled all this way because she is the love of my life. And together we are going to leave this place and travel among the stars.

Miss M: Whaat?!

Up Next!
Super Natural fun!