All My Toys: 300!

All My Toys reaches a milestone with its 300th episode! Jump into the drama and intrigue, and ricotta cheese?

Downtown police station...

Dick Tracy: I think that is about it for me today. 

Arcee: Oh, taking an early day? Any big plans?

Dick Tracy: Actually, I do have plans. I'm meeting M's dad later on for dinner. She's cooking. Lasagna. The works. I'm actually heading out to get my hair trimmed and put on a fresh suit.

Arcee: Wow, meeting the dad. My understanding of human relations stipulates that this is considered to be an important step in dating systems.

Dick Tracy: Yeah, it is. I never met her dad back when we briefly dated in college. He was in prison, and she's always been a little embarrassed by that, but from my understanding he's made up for his crimes. I am a true believer in restorative justice. I just hope she knows she doesn't have to be embarrassed.

Arcee: I'm sure she knows that. Miss M seems smart, if not a little awkward and clumsy.

Dick Tracy: She's quite swell for sure. Should be a nice night. I'm really enjoying this second chance with her.

Arcee: Go on and get out of here, enjoy the rest of your day. I'll take care of anything here. 

Dick Tracy: Thanks Arcee. If you see the mayor, stall him about this Deathstroke case. He's pushing to close it, but we just need one break.

Arcee: Understood! Now get out of here already!

Across town, Wayne Manor, specifically the library..

U2's Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me is playing while Bruce is looking over his books.

He's lightly humming to the song, before suddenly being startled by a door slam.

Bruce Wayne: Bwaaah! What are you doing here?

Miss M: Oh, just thought I'd give you a taste of your own medicine and just randomly appear in your home. I met your son, Damian, he seems like a nice kid. He let me in.

Bruce Wayne: Ok, well, Yvie is not here. She's with Moth Lady.

Miss M: I'm aware of the schedule. I actually came here to raid your fridge. I need some ricotta cheese.

Bruce Wayne: Excuse me? Aren't there at least six stores on the way here you could have stopped at?

Miss M: Yes. But I wanted the ricotta cheese in your fridge. A salad kit too if you have one. I'm making dinner for my boyfriend tonight, he's meeting my dad. But I bet you already knew that since you've been working with him on a case. He's such a great detective.

Bruce Wayne: Ah. I see. You put two and two together?

Miss M: (ignores the question) When were you going to tell me? You just show up the other day talking about how you've spotted us out and about, but that wasn't true. How long have you been working with him? Does he know who Batman really is? 

Bruce Wayne: No, he has no idea I'm Batman and I have hardly worked with him on anything. I joined him on a case I was curious about a few months ago, but if you haven't noticed, I've been a little busy as of late.

Miss M: (squints, nodding in a silly mocking way) Yeah, I've noticed. Why didn't you tell me? And don't do that stoic crap on me Bruce. Frickin Bruce.

Bruce Wayne: (sighs) I didn't see the point. Once I heard him on the phone with you, I realized the connection, and then quickly became aware it was none of my business. Why are you really here?

Miss M: I told you, for ricotta cheese. For lasagna. That's right. I'm making lasagna.

Bruce Wayne: Umm, ok. So you're just gonna waltz in and take my food?

Miss M: Yup. You're good for it. (snaps) You've got a lotta nerve mister. 

Bruce Wayne: Lord help me. I've got nerve? Please, you just barged into my home ready to take my cheese.

Miss M: You are so infuriating! You can't just be honest about your feelings.

Bruce Wayne: What feelings?

Miss M: Bruce! You lied to me about how you knew about Dick and I. Why? And don't tell me that little tale from the other night. (editor's note, check out All My Toys 298)

Bruce Wayne: It doesn't matter. I didn't feel like disrupting the case.

Miss M: (screams) Oh you thorn in my side. I'm getting that cheese. See ya.

Bruce Wayne: Whatever! Crazy woman. (mumbles to self) I'm a way better detective. 

Meanwhile, at Glo's house...

Billy: How's your mom been doing?

Glo: Still not a hundred percent, but she's getting there. Thank you for being able to stay over night and watch Layla while I work.

Billy: Hey, you're doing me a favor. The place I'm renting just lost power and water.

Glo: Billy, that's not good. Stay here as long as you need.

Billy: I will not overstay my welcome. I am glad to help though. 

Glo: Ok, but seriously, it's ok. You're not just a dear friend, you're family. 

Billy: I know. So, what's the deal with Club Ritz? Still a mess of mob activity?

Glo: It's wild. There is so much going on there Billy. I think M's dad killed a man. 

Billy: Dang. Are you sure you need to be working there?

Glo: I don't know. I just wanted a job so I wouldn't be on the road, and now I'm brushing against the underworld. My boss Lana, she knows something is up with me. I refuse to tell her about my life. It's all so twisted. But there's this singer, Breathless, I want to help her in some way. I honestly don't know what I am doing.

Billy: And you're still keeping this info from M? 

Glo: Billy, how do I tell her that everything she thinks she knows about her dad is a lie? He's a mafia kingpin. He's a terror. I think he is also somehow involved in some shady thing with the mayor... Layla! What are you doing dressed like that? 

Layla: I'm freezing. Mama, you keep this house so cold.

Glo: Now I know you are tellin' stories because it is not cold in this house and it's the summer. 

Layla: I just feel better. Hi Uncle Billy.

Billy: Hi Layla.

Layla: Are you watching me tonight?

Billy: I am indeed.

Layla: Yes!!! Can we invite Yvie over?

Glo: No. You two will not terrorize Billy and drive him crazy.

Layla: Ugh. What about horror movies, can we watch those? Yvie's mom lets her watch them.

Glo: Yvie's mom also used to believe that Michael Myers was her uncle when we were kids, so no. No horror movies tonight. 

Layla: But I'm eleven and a half! I am not scared of cringe movies from the nineteen hundreds.

Billy: Oh your Auntie M would pass out clutching her chest if she heard you say that. Haha.

Glo: Layla, if they are so cringe, why do you even care? You know what, I'm not having this conversation. The answer is no honey. 

Billy: We can order pizza though.

Layla: That is a nice compromise. I accept. 

Glo: Did you check on Glam-ma?

Layla: (sighs) Yes. She's in bed resting and watching her stories. Uncle Billy, can we call Uncle Sulu on FaceTime? 

Billy: Oh I don't know that our internet connection will reach where he is at right now.

Layla: Boo.

Glo: Layla, go grab some pizza coupons on the fridge please, you are about to make me late for work.

Glo: She's only eleven. I'm in so much trouble.

Billy: Yeah, but you know you have a precious daughter.

Glo: I know. I can't let anything happen to her Billy. You know what I mean by that.

Billy: Yeah, I do. So, maybe you need to think about this job at the Ritz? Leave it and keep a low profile?

Glo: Yeah maybe. I still want to see if I can help Breathless. She has so much talent and it's being wasted there. I don't know why I thought working there would be the right choice. M was right, even if she didn't fully understand why...

At Miss M's apartment...

Miss M: Oh Michelangelo you are a lifesaver! Thank you.

Michelangelo: No problem dudette. Did you really make everything roasty and toasty?

Miss M: Yes, and my homemade lasagna looked so perfect, but I just got sidetracked getting ready. I'm just glad the smoke cleared out. My Gigi is rolling over in her grave that I messed this up.

Michelangelo: Yeah, gnarly. Well, here's hopin' they don't know the lasagna was store bought.

Miss M: You are truly the best. I take it you're planning to see the new He-Man movie?

Michelangelo: You know it. My fifth showing. Gotta show up for our friend.

Miss M: Yeah, I know. I'm planning to see it tomorrow.

Michelangelo: Need company?

Miss M: Sure. Let's get a whole group together.

Michelangelo: Cowabunga! And don't worry dudette, lasagna gate is our secret.

Miss M: Absolutely. I'll see you tomorrow!

Michelangelo: Have a spectacular night dudette.

Back at the police station...

Arcee: (responding to speaker phone) Someone is here to talk about the case? Send them back.

Baroness: I was told you've been wanting to speak to me.

Arcee: My, my, my, my circuits are shorting. You are a difficult woman to track down.

Baroness: Yes, by design.

Arcee: So, you are aware what we have been wanting to discuss? The murder of Deathstroke. 

Baroness: Yes, well, before I say anything, I need to know if I am a person of interest in this case. Otherwise, I might require my lawyer present.

Arcee: We are not looking at you as a person of interest. Your name was written in a notebook from the victim, and we just want to understand your connection, and if there is any information you have that could lead us to a suspect. So, how do you know Deathstroke?

Baroness: What of your partner? Detective Tracy? Shouldn't he be here?

Arcee: He is off for the day. It will be just me.

Baroness: Pity. I heard he was a handsome fella.

Arcee: I am sure he will be sad to have missed this, but if we could please? 

Baroness: Right. My connection to Deathstroke. Well, I hired him in 2024. He was going to assist me in taking out some trash.

Arcee: I assume you are referring to the alleged murder attempt on a woman named Miss M?

Baroness: Allegedly. But yes, I had hired him. And on the day that the trash was to be taken out, the whole plan was ruined. He had sabotaged my plans. 

Arcee: Why?

Baroness: I learned he was working for someone else. Someone who did not want a certain someone taken out. In fact, the trash Deathstroke was meant to take out was Bruce Wayne. 

Arcee: Wait, so Deathstroke was taking orders from someone else, which involved killing Bruce Wayne?

Baroness: Very much so. Only that plan was a wash, since Mr. Wayne collapsed from some health complication or something. Once I learned Deathstroke had double crossed me, I walked away from any further dealings.

Arcee: Do you have any idea who this other person was? The one paying for Deathstroke to kill Bruce Wayne?

Baroness: I had no clue at first, but eventually learned it was Big Boy Caprice.

Arcee: Why would Big Boy Caprice step in to ruin your plans of harming Miss M, and instead plot a murder of Bruce Wayne? On their wedding day no less?

Baroness: Are you serious? (pauses) Oh you are serious. Talk about some keystone cops. Big Boy Caprice is Miss M's father. You didn't know that? Once Big Boy learned of my plan to allegedly harm her, he double crossed me and hired Deathstroke to murder Bruce Wayne instead, I suppose because he didn't like the billionaire marrying his baby girl. I don't know, you'd have to ask Big Boy.

Arcee: And murdering Deathstroke was a way to tie up a loose end...

Baroness: Thrilled that I was able to do your job for you. Hey! Where are you going?

Arcee: I've got to make a call. 

Arcee: ...Calling Dick Tracy! This is Arcee, you're walking into a lion's den. It's Big Boy...

Baroness: (rolls eyes and sighs) Oh the drama. (whispers) Trish Manlis should be so pleased.

Dick Tracy: (snaps his 2-way radio off) Hey, you look gorgeous.

Miss M: Thank you. I wore yellow so we could match. It's also the prompt for today's Yo Joe June activity.

Dick Tracy: I don't know what you are talking about, but it sounds fun. Is your dad here?

Miss M: Yeah, he's in the kitchen. 

Dick Tracy: Nice. Something smells really good.

Miss M: Yup, that's my Gigi's lasagna! (tries to stifle the truth before laughing uncontrollably)

Dick Tracy: Are you ok?

Miss M: Oh sure. 

Dick Tracy: Nervous?

Miss M: Oh yeah. I just really hope you'll like the lasagna.

Dick Tracy: I'm sure it will be great.

Miss M: I'm also maybe a little nervous about you meeting my dad. He comes across as this scary mafia type, but he's really a teddy bear. 

Dick Tracy: I'm sure it will be just fine. I'm just happy that we are together, taking more steps.

Miss M: (calls out) Dad! There's someone I'd like you to meet! (whispers) He keeps circling the oven watching the lasagna. He takes lasagna very seriously.

Dick Tracy: Ya know, it just dawned on me, what's your dad's name? What should I call him?

Heavy footsteps come from the other room followed by "Please, call me... Mr. Caprice."

The color drains from Tracy's face. Chilling violins play from outside near the park, reminiscent of a soap opera. 

Big Boy Caprice: (covers his surprise with a snicker) And you must be the man dating my daughter. 

Miss M: (completely unaware of their connection) Dad, this is Dick. Dick Tracy. My boyfriend. Are you ready to eat?

Cue more dramatic soap music, dun, duun, duuuunn!

Up Next: Fall out and the birth of mortal enemies.

Like the previous posts on this blog, it is with great sadness that the blogging community lost William Bruce West. My heart goes out to his family, including his wife Lindsay and two daughters. Will contributed so much to the toy/comics/pop culture blogging and podcast community. His opinions on pop culture are the stuff of legend. Please check out the West Family GoFundMe and consider donating, they need our support more than ever. If you can't donate, please spread the word. West Family GoFundMe