August 2015 Bodacious Baddie!

Space Log Entry 176-C

Reporting from the Fifth Quadrant Galaxy under the orders of Lady Kale, Queen of the Cosmos. My search for any and all data on the whereabouts of Miss M has led my efforts to a lone space diner. I am in the midst of meeting an informant. This should reveal any and all information on Miss M, or as the Galaxy Court has been calling her: Star Whip The Murderer of the Future.

End of Space Log Entry 176-C

Horroscope


Somewhere in space at a space diner...

A crowd of lively folks engage in intergalactic treats and eats.

Horroscope scans the crowd, looking for her informant.

Alien: Stop callin' Stop callin' I don't wanna think anymore. I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.

Alien: Stop telephonin' me, stop telephonin' me...

Horroscope: How I loathe space diners.

Horroscope: Everyone here is so... common.

Horroscope: You are Optikk I presume?

Optikk: Affirmative.

Horroscope: How queer you are. Where is your mouth? How do you speak to me?
Optikk: Voice box on my chest.
Horroscope: Very well. I am far more interested in what you have seen. Tell me, what of the ship you were on when Skeletor was your leader? Who all did you come across?

Optikk: We came across all sorts of people. It was two women though that were nearly the death of us.
Horroscope: Go on.
Optikk: There was a warrior woman with a name I can't seem to recall as well as a brunette, slight of frame. Sickly, though it could have been her pale skin. She did not last long.

Horroscope: In what way? Was she destroyed?
Optikk: Negative. She simply escaped. The warrior woman forced the pale woman into an escape pod.
Horroscope: Where did the escape pod go?

Optikk: I am not sure. I would guess the pale girl was heading back to her home world.
Horroscope: Home world? I need a name.
Optikk: Could be Earth. Or Etheria. Or Eternia. I can't recall which one exactly.

Horroscope: Fair enough. You never mentioned the name of the pale girl. Was there ever a name?

Optikk: Why are you so interested in all this?
Horroscope: I ask the questions. Or would you rather face the Galaxy Court? I need a name.

Suddenly!

Samus: Halt! Optikk, you are wanted by the Galactic Federation for your role as a spy. I've been hired to bring you to justice.

Horroscope: Bounty hunter this does not concern you. I have business with this being, when I am done he will be all yours.
Optikk: No way! We had a deal.

Horroscope: We do have a deal. I pay you for information. No deal was made about protecting you from your other affairs.

Samus: I don't care about any of this, Optikk you are coming with me. Now.

Horroscope: Leave us alone. Or else.

Samus: No.

Horroscope: So be it.

Optikk: Crap.

A fight ensues as the patrons of the space diner aren't sure what to do.

Some prepare to leave while others duck.

Optikk uses this time to wisely shield himself behind a sturdy table with strange alien liquids underneath.

Horroscope fires off her laser blaster! (editor's note: imagine the laser beams!)

Samus returns the favor with her wave beam! (again, just imagine all that wave beam glory!)

Horroscope: I really hate space diners...

Samus: Give up now!

Horroscope is thrilled to finally be able to take out Samus!

Samus is missing though, and the singing Diva is zapped on stage instead! The Diva can only mutter something about her stones. It's all a rather garish affair.

Samus is in her Morph Ball form!

Horroscope: What kind of trickery is this?

Horroscope is too slow for the likes of Samus!

Samus zips around the space diner to a Metroid beat! The onlookers look on in amazement!

The SilverHawks fly off, unable to handle all this awesomeness.

Samus: All right, are you finished with this?

Horroscope: (to Optikk) Give me a name!

Optikk: Negative! I'm interested in saving my own eye!

Horroscope: Give me a name and I make this all go away.

Samus: I'm taking you both in. I'm done with this bull alien goo!

Optikk: Ok, I'll give the name up. The pale girl, her name was Miss M.

Horroscope: Wonderful. Now, here's a head start out of this shit hole.

The patrons scream and panic as Horroscope opens a worm hole that unleashes the...

August 2015 Bodacious Baddie!

Samus: No! What have you done?!

Horroscope: Enjoy fighting that thing off.

Optikk: Now is my chance to split.

Samus: I will find you Optikk!

Horroscope: Enjoy whatever short life you have left bounty hunter.

Samus prepares for impact...

The Metroid is hungry...

Samus can hear it screaming, hungry for her energy.

 She loses her balance, falling prey to the giant Metroid! (Seriously, this thing is too freakin cool.)

Firing heavy duty missiles into the Metroid, Samus calculates how much time she has before death.

The patrons run screaming from the space diner as a loud pulsing sound beeps strangely in the room.

There is no sign of Samus, the Metroid has fully enveloped her. The loud immediate beeping sounds stop.

Suddenly, Samus zips out from under the dark side of the Metroid!

Standing tall, Samus refuses to give up. Not after all she has been through!

Samus: This is it. My final battle with a Metroid! (editor's note: let's hope not. Nintendo really needs to make some new Metroid games.)

The giant creature from space pauses, almost reflecting on the history between them both.

There is no stopping either of them.

The Metroid is hungry, waiting to devour its prey.

Only one will make it out alive...

Horroscope: (contacts Lady Kale) I know where Miss M is. She took an escape pod back to Earth. According to my calculations those events occurred 7 mili-cycles ago. I await your next command on how to proceed...

On Earth...

Miss M: I can't believe this. You all have been keeping Velvet Sky here?

Hellcat: In my defense I just learned about this. I told them they needed to come clean.

Miss M: You worked with me on becoming a better super hero and yet you knew this?

Miss M: (looks at Cheetara) And you! You are the moral compass of this group and you let Velvet Sky stay here?

Cheetara: It wasn't that easy. None of us wanted to have her here.

Miss M: I expected more from you Cheetara.

Cheetara: What do you want me to say? Look M, I'm going through a custody battle. I might lose my children. I have more pressing matters. We never meant to hurt you.

Miss M: Why is she here?

Catra: It's complicated.

Miss M: I don't care. Where is she?

Velvet Sky: I'm right here. I was trying to get some decent beauty sleep but you all won't shut up.

Miss M: You are trash.

Velvet Sky: Yeah? You started all this, remember that.

Miss M: I wrote a stupid article a number of years ago that no one read. I don't think it warranted you trying to kill me, succeeding, and then getting away with it.

Velvet Sky: Ya know, you keep telling me how I killed you... yet here you are. Taking up my air and boring the hell out of me.

Miss M: I lost everything because of you.

Velvet Sky: Oh please. You are doing just fine for yourself. You have a brat with Bruce Wayne. You're playing house with a wealthy mogul who has a few screws loose. You are doing just fine. I read the gossip blogs. You need to get over whatever I did to you.

Miss M: I can't stand you. You are absolutely disgusting. I can't believe any of you!

Catra: M, please, it isn't what it seems.

Miss M: I want nothing to do with any of y'all.

Miss M storms off.

Black Cat: Well that really sucks. Although I was expecting her to actually hit us.

Catwoman: We really screwed up.

Cheetah: We had our reasons. No one else can know we have Hordak as our personal prisoner.

Catra: Right.
Velvet Sky: Besides, she's so annoying. It's like shut up whiny old cow.

Catra: Hmm. Since Hordak is with us unable to hurt anyone, you are now safe. Which means you need to go. You no longer need our help.

Velvet Sky: That's not true! I have no where else to go!

Catra: You should try and figure it out. Leave.
Velvet Sky: Well this just sucks.

Catwoman: Yeah, but you kinda had it coming. We were never going to fully embrace you.

Velvet Sky: I'm not the bad one! Miss M started it all!

Cheetara: And you tried to finish it when you killed her.

Velvet Sky: But she's still here! When are you fools going to get it?!

Velvet Sky: Oh forget it. This place stunk anyway. Piss off the lot of you!

Meanwhile...

Glimmer: (places a note on a table) Mother?

Angella: Yes Glimmer?
Glimmer: I'm going out.

Angella: All right. Will you be gone long?

Glimmer: I don't know. I love you.

Angella: Well... I love you too my dear daughter.

Glimmer: Good bye.

Down on Main Street...

Miss M: (on the phone with Bruce) I mean who does that? They were keeping her in the Cat Lady lair this whole time! Velvet Sky killed me. I just can't let that go. I mean she has the worst painted roots of anyone I've ever known. Anyways, how is our bat baby? Ya know, we really need to come up with a name for her. Any new things with you? (pauses) Oh wow! They have a cure for TOYS? Oh my goodness, your pharmaceutical branch of Wayne Enterprises is going to save lives! So I'm heading to your house now, we have a lot to celebrate! Glimmer is going to love this, she will be cured!

Miss M: Why didn't I take a car? This is kinda silly. Who walks these days?

Guy Friday: Psst. M? Hey.

Miss M: Guy Friday? Are you stalking me?

Guy Friday: Kinda, but not really. I have a message for you.
Miss M: You could have just called me.

Guy Friday: I don't know how safe the phone lines are.

Miss M: What's up?

Guy Friday: Some weird guy in a suit was looking for you. April wanted me to warn you and to make sure you get back to Wayne Manor quickly. She'll be in contact with you soon.

Miss M: Seriously? That sounds silly. I'm already heading there. What's with this weirdness?

Nick Fury: Excuse me, I hate to barge in on a conversation, but enough with these games. You're both coming with me.

Miss M: I don't think so.

Agent Coulson: (to Guy Friday) I should have known you'd be trying to undermine us.

Guy Friday: M, that's the guy I was telling you about.

Miss M: Please. What are they going to do?

Miss M: Come on, let's go. I know another way home.

Miss M: I'm not going to deal with this lunacy. I have a bat baby at home that needs me.

Nick Fury: We're taking you both with us. Now you can go peacefully or Agent Hill over there can take you both down.

Agent Hill: What's up?

Nick Fury: Give it up Miss M, you need to come with us.

Guy Friday: M, I think we're in trouble.

Miss M: Yeah. Big trouble.

On a dangerous road along the mountain side...
(editor's note, let's just pretend that this is a scenic road wrapped around a mountain.)

Glimmer: Come on Glimmer. Don't wuss out. You have to do this. It's the only thing that makes sense.

Velvet Sky: (On the phone) Mila? It's your sister. I know I've screwed up a lot, and I'm sorry for calling so much, but I really need my sister right now. Could you please call me back? Please?

Back at Glimmer's home...

Angella: What is this note? It's got Glimmer's handwriting on it...

The roads are very dangerous at night...

Glimmer: Come on Glimmer! It will be over before you know it. Drive off the cliff and into a better place...

Glimmer takes a sharp turn too fast.

The glaring lights blind Velvet Sky...

 Velvet Sky: Hey! Watch out!

 Glimmer: (screams) No!

Only wanting to harm herself, Glimmer tries to gain control of the car before colliding with the woman on the road.

It all happens so fast. That's what they always say.

Glimmer can only scream as she hears the sound of her car hitting human flesh and bone.

Velvet Sky grunts as she slams into the car. The car drives off the side of the mountain!

It would seem that death is waiting for them both.

To be continued!