August 2015 Woman of Wonderosity!

Dear Diary,

I've been abducted. Guy Friday was trying to warn me about this man in a suit who was looking for me, and the suit guy totally found me. He also had friends. I have no idea who they are or what they want, but they've taken me to some remote location. I think I'm in a hellicarrier. I don't even know. I just want to be home with my bat baby. The little sugar plum has really been growing on me. I'm still scared shitless at parenting her, she has wings and likes Dr. Pepper, but I think I'll be ok. I can't wait to introduce her to comics. And the toy aisle. Anyways, I hear someone approaching me so I need to go. 

Later,
Miss M

Click the link and find out what latest mishap Miss M is in now!

Miss M: Ok, I don't know if I have a doppelganger out there or not, but it wasn't me. I did nothing wrong. I swear.
Nick Fury: It most certainly was you. I've got a file on you about a mile long. I know everything.

Miss M: Gulp.

Nick Fury: I know you write for Diary of a Dorkette. I also know you are a super hero going by the name WoW. Really? Couldn't come up with a better name?

Miss M: Well excuse me for living. I had no idea that a super hero name would be so important. What do they call you? Shaft?

Nick Fury: Excuse me?

Miss M: Well, I mean, what I meant to say...

Nick Fury: Are you trying to say that men my color and type all look alike?

Miss M: Well... no. It's just that you really do look like the guy that played the reboot Shaft from the year 2000. I'm sorry.

Nick Fury: I get it, but seriously, no one can know I played Samuel L. Jackson as Shaft. That whole film was a ruse to take down a deadly organization. Only three people know that. They're all dead, so if anyone finds out I'll know who spoke. Got it?

Miss M: Gulp. Got it.

Nick Fury: Listen up M, my name is Nick Fury. I work with S.H.I.E.L.D. and you're in danger girl.

Miss M: I'm always in danger.
Nick Fury: Yeah, I know. This time though it has dragged S.H.I.E.L.D. into it.
Miss M: I don't really know what that means.

Nick Fury: We are the ones that make sure the world is truly safe. Actually there's a few groups like us out there, but we do it in style. One of my operatives noticed a strange energy presence this past April. It was an event, one that none of us had ever experienced. It involved someone being written out of the universe.

Miss M: Oh. That doesn't sound good.

Nick Fury: We feel it has been connected to an event in space, so we gathered our resources from S.W.O.R.D. to help.

Miss M: My mind is spinning.

Nick Fury: You'll be fine. What we found was that a human being, none of us know who this person was, but we do know that they were erased. That energy signature I mentioned earlier, was surrounding you.
Miss M: Me?

Nick Fury: Yes. Someone important to you was wiped away from the universe. Now I need to know what you know.

Miss M: What I know isn't much.

Nick Fury: Really? I think you know a lot. Let's see. Apparently you died in a sewer explosion in December 2013. You came back to life at the end of 2014. That's a nice magic trick. What kind of price did you have to pay?

Miss M: Technically I didn't pay a price. Last year when the world was shrouded in Total Darkness, I helped stop that event with an act of kindness. A few months later a very powerful fairy allowed me to live life in my old body again. I do think I may have angered someone though in the process. I know this because I have a friend who met his future husband from the future who was actually traveling from the past...

Nick Fury: That's too much, get to the point.

Miss M: Well, long story short, there is some cosmic force that is looking for me because I broke some natural universal law by coming back from the dead. I don't know what that has to do with writing people out of the universe or whatever, but this cosmic force wants me dead.
Nick Fury: Great. Just great.

Miss M: I'm sorry. Can I go home now?
Nick Fury: Not yet. I need the name of your friend. I also need to know where you will be at all times. If this cosmic force tries to attack Earth, it will be just like every other battle the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. have had to face before.

Miss M: I really went and did it this time huh?

Nick Fury: Yep. Now come on, let's try to fix this.

Meanwhile...

Mermista: Angella, are you sure this letter was written by Glimmer?

Angella: Yes, that is her handwriting. (tears stream down her face) I'm really worried. I think something has happened to her. Are you sure you don't know where she is?

Perfuma: We haven't talked to her in awhile.

Bow: We can go looking for her though. Don't worry Angella.

Lion-O: I give you my word that we will bring her back.

Angella: Thank you all. Please, bring me back my daughter.

Else where...

Miss M: Thank you for getting Guy Friday and I out of there Pinky Pie. You are the best Spirit Pony.

Pinky Pie: No problem M. Is it true you have a baby with Bruce Wayne?

Miss M: Sort of. I didn't give birth but I was sharing the body of the bio mom during the conception. It's kind of complicated.

Pinky Pie: Oh, so you've just had some bloat this whole time. You should really stop eating so many french fries. So that must mean Moth Lady was the bio mom?

Miss M: Umm. Yeah. It's really complicated. I'd rather not get into it. And thanks for noticing the bloat Pinky Pie. You're really the best.

Pinky Pie: No Problem! I need to get ready for another party I'm throwing.

Pinky Pie: See ya.
Miss M: Bye.

Miss M: She never invites me to her parties...
Guy Friday: Yeah. Sounds tough... You do realize those S.H.I.E.L.D. people will come after us, right?

Miss M: I don't care. How can they kidnap us and be all weird? Come on. I'm not stressing about them.

Guy Friday: But M, they just want to stop this cosmic force from coming after you and the world.

Miss M: I know. I'm not going to be scared though. I have too much to live for now, ya know? No one is stopping that. Not even some cosmic lunatic force from space. If the Phoenix can't destroy Earth, no one can. Tell Irma I said hello. See you guys later.

Guy Friday: Bye M.

In the air...

Agent Hill: Sir, they got away. Cameras show that a... pink pony of some sort helped them escape.

Nick Fury: I know. I didn't bother to stop them.

Agent Hill: Why?

Nick Fury: Because. I don't think there will be anything we can do for this coming storm. We need to brace ourselves. Winter is coming.

Agent Hill: You've been watching Game of Thrones haven't you?

Nick Fury: Yes. I'm on the second season and it's a damn good show.

Agent Hill: It really is. Just wait till you get caught up.

At the Wayne Manor...

Miss M: I'm really happy to be back at home.

Bruce Wayne: We are happy to have you back home too. I got her to eat something, other than Dr. Pepper.

Miss M: You did? Was it blood?

Bruce Wayne: Nah. Apparently our bundle of joy has moved on to soft foods. She loves puree golden carrots.

Miss M: Is she growing too fast?

Bruce Wayne: I don't know. I am unsure what time will do to her. She isn't really like us, ya know?

Miss M: I know. She's better. I'm beginning to love her like my own Bruce.
Bruce Wayne: Of course you are, she is your baby M.

Miss M: I just never thought I'd be experiencing this.

Bruce Wayne: I know, but come on babe. We are both getting the family we always wanted.
Miss M: I know.

Bruce Wayne: We really need to give her a name.

Miss M: Tell me about it. It's embarrassing. We can't keep calling her bat baby.

Bruce Wayne: I was thinking... How about Yvonne?

Miss M: Yvonne?

Bruce Wayne: Yeah. I knew this woman once...

Miss M: Wait, this wasn't some woman you dated was it?

Bruce Wayne: No, not at all. She was like my kid sister. She was tough as nails and full of spirit. 

Miss M: What happened to her?

Bruce Wayne: She's no longer with us. But she forever made an impact on all of us. She was very special to me. I think our little bat girl being named Yvonne would be fitting.

Miss M: We could always call her Yvie for short.

Bruce Wayne: Yeah. That would be nice.

Miss M: I like it too Bruce. Yvonne. Sounds like a lovely name. I'm sure she was a wonderful woman.

Growing up there weren't easy ways for a little dorky girl like myself to find out about super heroes, particularly super heroes I wanted to pretend to be. Every now and then my parents would watch the reruns of the original Batman series with me and the night I found out there were female super heroes like Catwoman and Batgirl, who were not animated, my eyes simply could not leave the screen. (I realize Catwoman was more complicated than a full on super hero, but I loved them both.) These two characters were my first introduction to live action female super heroes. I was transfixed. My world was forever changed. Playing the damsel in distress with the kids in the neighborhood came to a swift end. I wanted to swing from the roof tops with a flowing cape behind me. I wanted to tell my own stories and adventures, ditch being tied to a tree or the train tracks. Thank you Yvonne Craig for the whimsy and magic you brought as Batgirl. You were my first Batgirl and you will always be a special one. Wherever you are in the great beyond, I hope it involves adventure with some pow, bonk, and sock!

August 2015 Woman of Wonderosity

Yvonne Craig