Sunday, April 17, 2016

All My Toys: Enter Toy World

Previously on All My Toys,

Torn between two worlds, Michael Lynn (Miss M) found herself unable to cope with the realities of the "real" world and instead decided to travel back to Toy World. Unknown to her, Toy World is now under control by Cobra Commander. His forces of evil are working tirelessly to find Miss M and anyone who happens to support her. What will everyone's favorite dorkette do? Will she be able to save her friend and mentor April O'Neil? Or will this new Toy World be too much of a change? There's only one way to find out, click the link below and catch up on all the juicy melodrama!

In disguise as her super hero alter ego WoW, Miss M finds herself in a whole new world.

Miss M: Where am I? This isn't the world I'm familiar with.

Miss M: Crapola. Major crapola. My back is killing me. No more Jane Fonda aerobics tapes for this girl.

Suddenly M hears some screams...

Miss M: Do my ears trick me? Someone is in trouble.

Miss M: (looks towards the commotion) I know her.

She continues to look on at a most disturbing scene...

A group of vicious villains have their eyes set on their latest prey.

Cobra Commander: Out with it. There is no where else to go so you might as well tell us what we need to know April O'Neil No. 2.

Megan Fox: I've told you! I'm not April O'Neil! I played her once in a major motion docu-drama. I admit I may have also tried to steal her life, but I am not April O'Neil!

Cobra Commander: Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

Megan Fox: (notices the long winding path into nothingness behind her) Wait! Stop and listen you has-been!

Megan Fox: I can find you the real Miss M. I know where she is at. I've never been a supporter of her or her friends. Please believe me. I only ever wanted to be April O'Neil so I could prove to the world that I can act!

Megan Fox: (sighs) Please listen to me.

Cobra Commander: I've listened. Here is what I think... How dare you call me a has-been!?

Cobra Commander: No one calls me a has-been! I'll show you what happens to real has-beens! This! (He orders Megan Fox to be thrown into the abyss below)

Megan Fox: NOOOoooo...

Megan Fox: oooooooooooo...

Megan Fox: ooooooo. Damn you!

Cobra Commander: That is all. (speaks to his henchmen) We'll find Miss M. For now, back to the roads. Hunt down anyone on the list.

The villainous group heads off for their nefarious plans!

Cobra Commander: We will prevail in this toy wasteland! Hail COBRA!!!

Miss M: Whew. They did not see me. What on Etheria is happening right now? How come Cobra is tossing people off the staircase? Like, who does that anyway? It just seems so basic.

Miss M turns at the sound of her name.

Michelangelo: Hey M! I've been looking for you.

Miss M: How did you know I'd be here?
Michelangelo: We've all been waiting for you babe-alicious. I've been driving all over this grody place for ya, it was only a matter of time.

Miss M: You have?

Michelangelo: Of course bodacious babe. We need you here.

Miss M: Who all makes up the 'we?'

Miss M: (continues) What of Mona Lisa? And the other Turtles? Where's April?

Michelangelo: Aw babe, everything is all tubular and twisted. Some of us are still struggling to survive out here.
Miss M: Oh Michelangelo, this is terrible. I feel so responsible.
Michelangelo: Come on dorkette, it can be fixed.

Miss M: It can? How?

Michelangelo: I'm not really sure, but there are some ideas floating around on restoring the toy world to its former glory. Just be glad you are in your super hero disguise, the world is after you.

Miss M: What? Why are they after me?
Michelangelo: Babe, I don't mean to be a royal downer, but you are the most hated babe in all the land.
Miss M: People hate me? Really?

Michelangelo: Babe, you are the reason this world has been turned into a wasteland. Everything changed once you left. Cobra was there to pick up the gnarly pieces and build something horrific. They run this joint and they are hunting down every cool toy you ever knew.

Miss M: Oh no. What have I done? Don't answer that.

Miss M: Where's April? I need to find April.

Michelangelo motions for them to hop in his car.

Michelangelo: I know a rad dude that can help us find what happened to April.
Miss M: Ok. Let's go find this friend. Anyone I know?

Michelangelo: I'm not sure. Some call him the Trash Man, but I call him Brian. Brian Farrell.
Miss M: Never heard of him.

Else where in a place more super evil than super sweet,

Cobra's laugh echos across the vast open toy world.

With his henchwomen and Stormtrooper guards looking out for any potential threat, Cobra Commander begins to slow his maniacal laughter to a simmering cackle.

Before he takes a breath, he lets the smell of plastic all around fill his nostrils. It's a high unlike any other.

Cobra Commander: Isn't this wonderful? For so long now Cobra has been ignored. The festering sickness that was the side of good prevailed for far too long. Now though, I'm top dog. It's all mine.

Rita Repulsa: Not exactly Cobra Commander. You forget that there is one other person in charge here.

Cobra Commander: Quiet cone bra! Don't dare threaten me. The Cobra Queen might be in charge some of the time, however, she is missing in action. Her role here does not concern me.

Rita Repulsa: It should. She had a specific plan set up for you. Her wishes are being ignored.

Haggar: Hiss. Forget the queen's orders. You are positioning yourself in the most perfect of ways. Your creation is almost complete.

Cobra Commander: Is it now? Have all the body parts been accounted for?
Haggar: Only the best parts were used for this creation.
Cobra Commander: It reminds me of that experience with Serpentor.

Haggar: Yesss. But this latest creation will be even better than Serpentor. You've helped to build the ultimate killing machine with the mind of a most dangerous intellect.

Rita Repulsa: You two are playing with trouble. Just who is this person you have created?

Cobra Commander: All you need to know is that we have created the ultimate weapon in finding and destroying Miss M. That dork girl will finally be obliterated!

Down in the depths from the Edge of Nothing, Megan Fox finds herself with a castaway of other unwanted toys. (Editor's note: They were all wanted by the real life Miss M)

There's no telling how deeper the Edge of Nothing truly is, but for now Megan Fox is content to have stopped tumbling down the stairs.

Megan Fox: This sucks. I'm never getting out of this dump. I should've taken that gig with New Girl. Trying to steal April O'Neil's life was just the dumbest thing.

Fig Newton Girl: Hi. You must be new. Welcome to the fourth rung of the Depth of Nowhere. This place has many other names like Edge of Nothing, Stupid Neverending Abyss, and Spiral Staircase. The lower you go the worse it gets. It's like Dante's Inferno, but less on the literary classic side.
Megan Fox: This place is bullshit. I need to find a way out.

Fig Newton Girl: Oh there's no escaping. You're trapped in this hell forever. Wanna a Fig Newton?

Megan Fox: No. I don't.

Fancy: Oh my dear, have no fear of this dark and dreary place. You will get used to it. Why, I stay stoned by licking up the snail trail I leave behind. Nothing bothers me anymore.

Baby Pearl: We're going to die here.
Megan Fox: (screams)

Megan Fox: I'm not dying here with the likes of you!! I refuse! I was once involved with David from 90210! I deserve more than this!

Fancy: The poor dear. I think she will turn out to be the loon of the group.
Fig Newton Girl: I've got a special cookie for that condition. She'll be constipated for a month. Her mind will be very clear though.

Ioz: Excuse me, I don't think I have ever seen someone so magnificently stunning. Please tell me you are looking for the love of a strong man. I can be that strong man.
Megan Fox: No. Completely no.

Ioz: What a shame. We would have made the earth shake; the oceans rise and fall like the stock market. The walls would have bled sea men. The souls of so many sea men would be jealous of our love making.

Megan Fox: Actually, that doesn't sound bad. Maybe some other time though.

Megan Fox: (hears a muffled scream) What was that? Did anyone hear that?

Megan Fox: (concentrates to hear more muffled screams) Come on, can anyone else hear that?

Jessie: I can't hear anything, but I can smell what the Rock is cooking.

Megan Fox: No, someone is screaming for help. (looks over to the side and gasps)

Megan Fox: You've got to be kidding me. This trash is down here?

April: Get me out! GET. ME. OUT!

Moments later,

Megan Fox: Thanks a bunch Ioz and Fancy. Damn April, you're pretty heavy.
April: Bitch! I'm encased in plastic and secured to a heavy cardboard. Get me out already!

Megan Fox: I don't know, I kinda like you being frozen in plastic carbonite. Gives me the chance to finally become my own April O'Neil!

April: I swear on the life of my yellow jumpsuit collection, I will strike you down where you stand you overrated tart if you even think about trying to take my place!

Ioz: Two brunette bombshells? I could have both join me for a night on the dark water.

Megan Fox: She wouldn't deserve the chance to see me naked Ioz. Come on, help me unfreeze her.

A few seconds of unfreezing later,

April: Don't worry darling, I wouldn't want to see you naked anyway. Unless I wanted to lose my vision. I really hate you.
Megan Fox: Feeling is mutual.
April: You took my role! I should have played myself in that docu-drama about my life!

Megan Fox: It was never about you. It was about your friends, the Ninja Turtles. Besides, you were just too old to play yourself. They needed an April for the younger years.

April: I am always young! I invented being young and care free! Look at my breasts! They've been perky since 1992! I have cheekbones that could slice you up into little trashy tart flavored pieces!

April: Just look at me! I'm freakin April O'Neil! And you will always be an impostor!

Megan Fox: An impostor that most men in America would kill to sleep with. An impostor that got to star in a major motion docu-drama. And I even got to film a sequel.

Megan Fox: Face it. I'm more April O'Neil than you could ever be.

April: Lord help me, I'm about to toss this broke down sloth off the stairs.

April: (grabs hold of Megan's arm) This rivalry won't end until one of us dies.
Megan Fox: Since you are closer to death's door on account of the age difference, my vote goes to you.

April: You got a big mouth you cheap trick.

Suddenly a new guest arrives!

Megan Fox: Oh my goodness, my movie romantic partner!
April: Back off chick! That's my man! Casey Jones! You found me! Let's get out of here. We can leave this trash behind.

Casey Jones walks towards them, breathing heavily.

Fig Newton Girl: Would you like a Fig Newton?

Casey Jones stares at her blankly.

Fig Newton Girl: Well fine, my Figs don't deserve you anyway.

April: Oh Casey! Thank goodness you are here. It was horrible. I was put on trial. They were going to hang me on the Wall, but instead they froze me in plastic carbonite and tossed me off the Edge of Nothingness into actual nothingness! Damn Cobra and their lame prison system. All that doesn't ultimately matter! You're here now. I am so happy to be reunited with you! My dear loving husband.

Casey Jones continues to breathe heavily.

April: Casey, baby? What's the matter with you? Aren't you happy to see me?

Megan Fox: Something is wrong with him. His eyes. They are all black.

April: Quiet you slag! It's probably just allergies. Now come on Casey, say something! We haven't seen each other since the world ended...

Casey Jones pulls out a weapon and growls!

April: Casey no! Put your scary big stick away!

April: I think he means to kill us!
Megan Fox: Ya think?
April: And here I thought the bond between Casey and I was finally free from drama. We are so going to need marriage counseling after this.

To be continued!


  1. There's so much drama between April and Megan! But I'm sure that when Hollywood runs out properties to remake and they buy the rights to your life story that you and your film counterpart will get along just fine!

    Naturally, they'll cast a name actress like Scarlett Johanssen, oh but don't worry, they'll use state of the art computer effects to make her appear more Southern!

    1. I've always loved writing goofy drama between April and Megan. It had been awhile since I got to do it again. I love pitting two people against each other and then writing them in a way where they find common ground and even become friends.

      I highly doubt Hollywood would ever buy the rights to my life story, but that bit about Scarlett Johanssen having computer effects to make her look southern was hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. Hope you have been doing well! I've enjoyed the stuff you have been posting with your illustrations and work. It's all been very very cool.

    2. It is fun to see the two clash, especially when classic April is a bit of an airhead.

      The bit about making Scarlet Johanssen look southern is actually a jab at her recent casting for the remake of "Ghost in the Shell" and how it was reported that the studio was going to use CG effects to make her look like a Japanese woman. I do try to be topical every now and again.

      Thanks for the compliment about my work. It's always nice to be appreciated. It is a pity though that I've gotten this string of ideas just before I take my show on the road for the summer and won't have time for these kind of fan projects.

    3. Oh I totally got the reference with Scar Jo as the magazines like to dub her. I can't believe they are casting her for that part. I would have much preferred a Japanese actress to be cast. It just feels odd.

      I hope that you will be able to still create those ideas before the summer picks up! I do look forward to what all you come up with.

    4. I've never much cared for the nickname "Scar Jo" it sounds too much like a mafia hitman.

      Apparently the story about using special effects to make her look more Asian was false, which is almost a shame because I wanted to see just how far they could push inappropriate casting. If they could use computers to make Samuel L Jackson look like a Japanese woman, now that would be worth going to see!

      Thank you for the encouragement! Best wishes for your creativity this summer too!

  2. don't think even marriage cousiling is going to help april and casey this time if she manages to not get whacked by him. lie maybe she throws megan fox in front of her and she takes the beating. and thus solves one of aprils problems. and interesting did not know there was a red hooded cobra commander. nor some one made a fig newton girl doll.

    1. Yeah April and Casey have always had a complicated relationship! The red hooded Cobra Commander is a recent figure from the Toysrus line. He came out like a year or so ago and is now on clearance. The Fig Newton doll is fun because she was a part of Nabisco dolls. There's an Oreo one as well as a Chips Ahoy. They are so much fun!