I took a nap. Just a nap. And now I've woken up to find myself the next Bachelorette. As in a group of men are all competing to win my heart. I've become the heart of trash tv, and I just want to wake up. Surely this is some kind of weird dream. And I know, I know, somewhere my base level of emotions is a little excited that a gaggle of men would be wanting to win my heart of hearts, but come on. The last thing I need to do is make my life anymore complicated than it already is. So my dearest diary, I'm going to find out what's what and get to the bottom of this strange encounter. Just watch.