An eternity. That is how long I have left in this place. An eternity. I was chained to a fate when I was alive and now I am chained to a fate here, in the After Life. I miss the stars. I'd see them once in awhile, through the slits in the shutters in my prison when I was alive. I long to be free. I am a slave to the desires of monsters, forever twisting and writhing for their entertainment. It never ends and now it will last for an eternity. I'm not quite sure how I came to be in this endless loop of madness. I'm dead, but even the dead can't be free. Not here. All I can hope is that one day I'll see the stars.
In the seedier side of the After Life,
Helspont: Your vast assortment of flesh on display, splendid as it can be, is not the reason I am here. I want to know if you have found the location of Maleficent. I've been waiting.
At the offices of Diary of a Dorkette...
Louis: Gladiator boots huh? That's interesting, but no. I'm not here to get back with you. Though you've never looked better.
Irma: That's not possible. Dimension X was just a silly hypothesis in college, we chalked the contact up to static.
Louis: It's not static. Dimension X is real, and if we can get there, we can then find a way to Dimensions Y and Z. You know what that means right?
Irma: We'll be able to unlock every secret in the universe. We will know all. Even what happened to April's dad.
Louis: And so much more. I need to do this for Egon. I just need your help to do all this.
Louis: You're the smartest person I know and you're wasting your talents and brains working in this office. Come with me, help me get to Dimension X.
Irma: I have a life here. I have a boyfriend.
Louis: I know, and I'm sorry. I'm asking you to give up a lot, but if we can make this work we will change everything. Please, say you'll join me.
Irma: (pauses for a moment) Ok. I'll go, but give me a few days to let everyone know. I can't just drop this on Guy Friday.
Louis: Deal. Thank you Irma. We're going to change the world.
Irma: I hope so.
Irma: Guy Friday! We were only talking.
Louis: Yeah, I was just catching her up on my travels.
Irma: Nothing to worry about. I love you. No matter what.
Louis: It's Louis.
Guy Friday: Yeah. I know.
Irma: (rolls her eyes) Come on, let's go.
Irma: No, let's go get something to eat. You and me.
Guy Friday: Ok.
In the After Life...
Maleficent: So you take me to the After Life headquarters. How quaint.
Miss Elizabeth: But where can we go? We're all dead.
Gwen: You didn't make that Crystal Castle replica for me, huh?
Ed: I'm so sorry. I know I'll probably kick myself for this. I just can't help who I fall in love with.
Gwen: I can understand. I even respect it. I just wish we weren't dead. I hate being here.
Oola: Jabba the Hutt had sources that informed Helspont. I managed to escape...
Ed: I can't help that! It's what I died wearing.
Maleficent: This is not some field trip. I will be travelling to another dimension, it will be dangerous.
Oola: I don't mind. I was a piece of property when I was alive and I've been a piece of property in death. If I go with you and die in a dangerous place, it will be better than how I died before.
Ed: Oh yeah! What was it like being eaten by a rancor?
Oola: It was horrible.
Ed: Geesh. Here I thought getting killed by a mob of Twihards in the mall food court sucked. The rancor digestive system is atrocious, I've heard.
Suddenly a dimensional portal opens up!
Maleficent: It was I.
Miss Elizabeth: Just what are you going to do?
Magik: Where are we off to?
Maleficent: Like I've said, we are going to gather the finest spells... we are going to Dimension X...
With a quick twirl Magik transports Maleficent, Ed, and Oola to a dimension far away...
Angela: Do you think she can find a way to stop this cosmic threat?
Miss Elizabeth: I do not know.
In a flash of dazzling light, Miss Elizabeth dons a most powerful armor.
Miss Elizabeth: Thank you.
Gwen: No. Not really. I've been through some terrible stuff though. So I'm not trained but I want to kick some ass. Like kick and torture. That's not really nice of me, but I will. I totally will.
Miss Elizabeth: Come on then. Helspont has arrived...
Back on Earth...
Miss M: I'm just meeting an old friend real quick.
Miss M: Bruce!
Bruce Wayne: Sorry. See you soon.
Michelangelo: Were you on the phone?
Miss M: Just got off. So, here we are.
Michelangelo: Yep. The place we met on our first date.
Miss M: It was an epic first date. I didn't realize Antonio's had shut down though.
Miss M: I see. So, I don't think you are here to reminisce about that date. Care to tell me what is going on?
Miss M: I can understand.
Michelangelo: Plus it was your old house. Mona Lisa feels like she is living in your shadow.
Miss M: That's silly. How is married life anyway?
Miss M: I was thinking your voice sounded different.
Michelangelo: Yeah, I'm totally trying to talk like a mature turtle. Like Raph or something.
Miss M: Right. Well, glad you guys are happy.
Michelangelo: I can't thank you enough for letting us live in your house after our sewer lair exploded.
Miss M: I'll probably put my house on the market. I have a new home now.
Michelangelo: I heard about that. You're living with Bruce Wayne. (slightly jealous) I didn't realize you two were an item or had a baby. When's the wedding?
Miss M: You need to stop that. You made your choice. You're a married turtle.
Miss M: I just don't want to talk about this stuff. I thought I knew my life, and now I'm just as lost as ever before. I can't start thinking about what could have been or what never will.