Sunday, November 19, 2017

All My Toys: That Burning Desire!

Dear Diary,

Well we survived Halloween. I am not entirely sure why a horde of wrestling zombies wanted me dead, however I am beyond grateful that this space prince named Burnheart swooped in to demolish them in time. It is a little weird though. He claims we are destined to be together and he wants me to travel with him through the stars. I am of course skeptical. The whole thing just seems so weird. Anyways I decided to meet him for dinner and hear him out. What else am I going to do? It's not like my love life has been decent on Earth. Maybe I am destined to travel the universe with some guy that doesn't have a face. What could be so wrong with that? Oh well Diary, I have to go for now. He just showed up!

-Miss M

All My Toys
That Burning Desire!

Burnheart: Thank you for agreeing to meet me.
Miss M: No problem.

Burnheart: So this is what passes for a fine dining experience on Earth?

Miss M: (looks around) Well Tres Bliss is one of the nicest restaurants in Toy Valley.

Burnheart: Wait until you travel to my planet. The meals we put on are the most lavish in the entirety of space.

Miss M: Yeah. About that. Are you really from space? Or this is just some weird joke?

Burnheart: A joke? My darling, nothing about this is a joke.

Miss M: Well I mean, come on, it is a bit insane that you have traveled all this way just for me.

Burnheart: This is true. The details are rather extraordinary. Let me explain. Where I am from everyone is destined with their star essence. For those who are able to utilize such resources they study various galaxies trying to find their connected star essence. You are my star essence. It took me many many years to find your location, but here I am.

Miss M: So like we're soul mates?

Burnheart: Yes. Something like that.

Miss M: That is insane.

Burnheart: It is the truth though. Here come closer to me.

Burnheart: Look into my flames and see the truth behind my desire for you.

Miss M: Ok.

Miss M stares into the flames and sees an entire life of love and happiness with this new person in her life.

Miss M: It feels so real. What was that?

Burnheart: It was our inner dreams and desires for a future together. Miss M, please let me show you the universe. Please allow me the chance to win your heart.

Miss M: Umm, this is all so much.

Burnheart: I have time. I have been the one sending you those messages from space.

Miss M: I have realized that now. This is very overwhelming. A little exciting though.
Burnheart: Here, let's sit and order some food.

Miss M: Sure. That works for me.

Miss M is unable to shake those burning images from her mind...

Across town in Deanna Troi's therapy office...

Deanna Troi: Hello, please take a seat. You must still be in love with Halloween. That is an impressive costume you are wearing.

Michelangelo: Oh no this is like my real life body therapist lady.

Deanna Troi: Really? That is fascinating. Have you always looked this way? Or did you have some sort of surgical procedure?

Michelangelo: Nah I was born a gnarly little turtle and then grew up to be this cool party turtle you see before you.

Deanna Troi: Very well. Well Mike, tell me, what has brought you into my office? Is this your first time in therapy?

Michelangelo: Totally my first time. Like life has been real bitchin lately. I am going through a tubular divorce but my biggest pickle is that I am in love with this incredible woman and I totally blew it like a dud firecracker. Ya know?

Deanna Troi: Actually, I do not know. Tell me more, what should I know about this incredible woman?

Michelangelo: Well where do I start therapist lady? She is so smart and drop dead gorgeous. She is also a kick butt hero with sassy 'tude.

Deanna Troi: (begins to feel weird) She sounds very interesting.

Michelangelo: Yeah Miss M is the coolest dudette ever. I am in love with her and I need to find a way to win her back.

Deanna Troi: What did you say her name was again?

Michelangelo: Miss M.

Deanna Troi: Oh shit.

In a more frightful neck of the woods...

Barbarocious: Where is she?! Where is the pink tart?

Velvet Sky: What the hell is going on out here?
Barbarocious: There you are! Where is my pet?! You promised me the plan would work. The dork girl's head is not on a stake!

Velvet Sky: Calm down. We hit a snafu.

Barbarocious: You hit a snafu? You created a group of flesh eating wrestlers to kill that dork girl and return my pet to me. What happened?

Velvet Sky: We are trying to figure that out. The zombie wrestlers are no longer here.

Barbarocious: So the dork girl still gets to roam free? With my pet!

Velvet Sky: For now but we are working on a new plan.

Barbarocious: Really? Well screw your new plan.

Barbarocious: (prepares to leave) I will take care of this myself.

Velvet Sky: You don't want to do that.

Barbarocious: And you don't want to tell me what to do.

Barbarocious: I will kill you from the inside out you harpy! Now try and stop me!

Barbarocious storms off.

Velvet Sky: Good riddance. All this over some stupid pet. What a loon.

Back at Tres Bliss...

Miss M: Dinner was lovely.
Burnheart: Yes. It was. Not as lovely as you or the sparkling conversation.

Miss M: (blushes) You are really sweet.

Burnheart: When shall we get together again?

Miss M: Oh we are still on our first date and you already want to go on a second one?
Burnheart: Of course. I have already told you Miss M, I am going to prove to you my love and intentions are pure.

Miss M: I must admit, I am looking forward to that process and what plans you have in store.

Burnheart: Wonderful. I have many plans for you. Now, shall we enjoy a nice stroll in the cool night air?

Miss M: Sounds magical!

The two walk off as a new love begins to bloom.

Up Next!

Well let's just say whatever it is, you won't want to miss it!


  1. I tried googling Burnheart on Google and this blog is actually the third result. Proof of niche marketing I guess. Makes me wonder what internet search results are like in space.

  2. poor cousilor troy she has to deal with miss m now having a potential love triangle in the making and barbarousis must really love her pet if she is trying to kill miss m for its return or it contains magic she wants