Tuesday, July 17, 2018

All My Toys: Coming Home

Dear Diary,

I can see Earth. Samus has been flying us fast through space and I can see my home world. Earth has never looked so beautiful. I can't wait to go shopping at ToysRUs and eat a giant cheeseburger. It is going to be everything!

-Miss M

While Miss M heads home, the remaining respected journalists in the President Chocula era converge in a secret meeting at Bow's Cafe about the state of the country...

Lois Lane: So that is what needs to be done, do you all understand?

Lois Lane: We can't stop investigating. We can't stop asking questions. We must find our own evidence that Cobra tampered with the 2016 election. We must find out what the government is planning to do with those empty prisons. We are the only ones left that can get through to the public!

April: (mumbles to herself) Why the hell is she here?

April looks over at Megan Fox.

April: (still staring) I hate that bitch.

Lois Lane: I want to take a moment to thank Bow for closing his cafe down so we could have this private party. It really means a lot.

Lois Lane: And I want to thank you all. We are in strange and dangerous times. Cobra is coming for this country and we have to be the ones to stop it. So thank you all, and we will be in touch. Now enjoy yourselves for the amount of time we have left.

Jessica Wray: Great job Lois. I really think I can run a story for tomorrow that will examine how new investigations about Cobra are essentially falling flat.
Lois Lane: Perfect. No one is doing what needs to be done, so keep asking those questions.

Vicki Vale: April, I need to speak with you.

Irma: Oh dear.
Guy Friday: This might be really bad.

Vicki Vale: April, I am glad you are still here.
April: Of course. Now, what do you want?

Vicki Vale: I wanted to thank you. I heard you wanted to make sure I was a part of this group, and after everything that happened with your friend Miss M and Bruce Wayne...
April: Are you referring to that ill fated night when you both pretended to sleep together so Bruce would have a reason to break up with my dear friend because he is beyond complicated?

Vicki Vale: Yes, I was referring to that night. I never wanted him to lie to her. I always felt it was wrong...
April: Listen. M is dead. And we all might be if Cobra has their way. Now is not the time to fight over petty squabbles. Now, if you'll excuse me.

April: Well if it isn't Megan Fox! The second rate version of me.
Megan Fox: You're like an old woman with dementia, always repeating the same insult hoping it will offend.
April: Oh, I know it does. I can see it with every one of your new lunchtime procedures.

Megan Fox: (rolls her eyes) What do you want?

April: I want to know why it is that an actress who played a pretend journalist is somehow a part of this most exclusive meeting. Shouldn't you be dry humping 90's tv stars?

Megan Fox: I'm done with trash like you. I have become a certified journalist you cow. Go to hell April O'Neil.
April: Just remember I am the real April! I am!

Guy Friday: She's never going to let that go is she?
Irma: I mean April did want to play herself in the movie. They'll make up one day. I am sure of it.
Guy Friday: Hon, your optimism is showing.

April: Bow, you really need to be careful who you let in here. How are you? I do rather enjoy the new establishment! You running a night club was just too messy.
Bow: Tell me about it. I am glad you enjoy the new place. Running a cafe is a much easier thing to do.
April: How is Cheetara?

Bow: She's great. We have been doing really well.

April: I still miss you with She-Ra.

Bow: Everyone says that, but I am in a really great place. I promise.

April: Sure thing Bow. Well thanks for closing the store for us. See ya around.

April: All right gang, I have to go. I have another meeting I need to get to.

Guy Friday: Cool April!
Irma: Yeah see you in the office tomorrow!

Across town,

Barbie: Ok Glitter, I think you are up and running now!
Glitter: It feels good to be back!
Brian Farrell: So can we now be lazy in bed with Gummy Sharks and horror movies?
Glitter: Yes Brian. I would like that very much.

Barbie: Just try not to over fry your circuits ok Glitter? Lazy good times in bed could do that. You took quite a hit from Cobra Commander.
Glitter: I won't promise anything.

April: So why am I here again?
Janine: I don't know. They told me to call you. Something about big news about Miss M.

April: Big news about Miss M? What could that be? She's dead.
Janine: I don't know. Glitter the robot said she sent Samus and Deanna into space to look for her.
April: Oh goodness. They are bringing her back in a body bag aren't they? I don't want to be here for that.

He-Man: (from upstairs) They're here!
Quick Charge: Open the gate!

April: Janine, of all the things, I don't want to see the body of my friend.
Janine: I mean at least this way we could actually give her a proper burial.
April: We've already done that! Twice!

The gate slowly opens...

Anticipation builds as the group notices some legs...

Samus: We're back.
April: Ok. And? Where's the body?

Oola: Did you find Miss M in space?
Samus: Why don't we let you hear it from the source.

Miss M: Hey guys. I'm home.

Janine: Holy moly. You're alive.
April: This can't be.

April: Is it really you? Are you really here?
Miss M: Of course it is me. Long story, but I am alive. If I keep this up my resurrection punch card will beat out Jean Grey's. Why is Geoffrey the Giraffe here and not at ToysRUs?

Geoffrey: Oh. About that. All of my toy emporiums closed down. They no longer exist.

Miss M screams and passes out.

Moments later...
Oola: You ok?
Billy: Yeah, we thought we lost you again.

Miss M: No I am ok. Just shocked. How is it that ToysRUs is gone?

Geoffrey: Well. I got into some trouble with my finances. Ended up getting help from this Bane guy and I could not pay him off and then he kidnapped me and was trying to bleed me dry. Then these guys saved me. But it just wasn't enough. I'm poor.
Billy: It's 2018. We're all poor unless we're a Cardassian.
Deanna Troi: You do make a valid point.

Miss M: But I loved your stores. Oh Geoffrey. I grew up in those stores.

Geoffrey: I remember. You were the sweetest kid. You were sick. I remember like it was yesterday. You had a bone marrow test, you could barely walk. Your dad rushed into the store with you in his arms and he looked terrified, but in that moment I knew he was looking for magic. Anything to try and bring a smile to your face.
Miss M: Yes. You remembered that perfectly. And there was magic. Magic in those aisles for sure. Oh Geoffrey.

Oola: Ed, is that you?

Ed: Oola? You look different.

Miss M: You two know each other?
Oola: (smiles) Yes. We do. We were together in the After Life, we joined Maleficent before the world fell apart all those years ago.
Ed: Yes. I never thought I'd see you again.

Miss M: Well it's your lucky day Ed. She's right there.
Oola: I often wondered what happened to you.
Ed: Same.

Oola: You look really good.

Ed: You do too. You seem more confident and strong.
Oola: I've been through a lot. We have a lot to catch up on.
Ed: Sounds nice.

Miss M: (feels herself getting jealous) You should take her out for cheeseburgers Ed.
Ed: Wait, what? Umm, I was going to take you...
Oola: I would love a cheeseburger with an old friend.

April: M, if you could leave those two nerds alone for a moment. I need to talk to you.

Miss M: Yes April?
April: I have been trying to think how to say this to you. It might come as a shock. Yvie is alive.

Miss M: What? Like, my daughter Yvie?
April: Yes.
Miss M: How? Where is she?
April: She's with Bruce. I can take you there.

Miss M: Hurry! I have to see her! April, hurry.

Ed watches Miss M rush off feeling his chances of having her heart slowly slip away.

A quick drive in a sports car later, April barges into Wayne Manor...

April: Bruce! Bruce Wayne! Damn it where are you?!

April: Bruuuuuuuce!! Bruce!!!

Bruce Wayne: April, what the hell? Why are you screaming? Do you know what hour it is?
April: Finally! Where were you, the bathroom?
Bruce Wayne: Umm, no. I was watching a movie in the living room.
April: It better not be a film with Megan Fox in it. I will be pissed.
Bruce Wayne: (sighs) You really need to let your vendettas go.
April: No I don't. Now listen. I am sorry for barging in so late, but this is big. Really big. M is alive. She's here.

Bruce Wayne: What? Miss M is alive?

April: Yes. And she is right here.

Miss M: Hey Bruce. I love what you've done with the place.

Bruce Wayne: How? Is it really you?
April: It's really her. She never died in space. No offense Bruce, but you were too late when you went looking for her. She was already whisked away, but she is here now.

Bruce rushes to M and embraces her tightly.

April: Well, this is nice. And I am not being sarcastic.

Bruce Wayne: I thought you were dead. I can't believe you are here.
Miss M: I know. It feels so good to be home. Bruce. April told me about Yvie. I have to see her.

Bruce Wayne: Oh M, I know you do. I just need to warn you. She's been through a lot. She lost her wings. She has nightmares and can't sleep. She's older. Moth Lady was with her and Yvie knows that she was in Moth Lady's tummy. I have to be very careful how I introduce you to her, it might be a lot.

Miss M: I will follow your lead. I just have to see her. I have to hold my daughter. Bruce, I thought she was dead. Where has she been this whole time? How is this even possible?

Bruce Wayne: I don't know. It is by chance that I saw her with Moth Lady at an airport in Europe but from what I understand there was some monster woman that had her previously. Yvie won't talk about it. I've been trying to get her into therapy.

Miss M: I know just the person. I can get her in to see Deanna Troi.
Bruce Wayne: That will be wonderful. Ok, let me go talk to Yvie.

Yvie: When will you guys get bigger again?

Yvie: I want you to get bigger so you can protect me from the bad woman.

Bruce Wayne: Yvie? Who are you talking to?
Yvie: My friends. Is it time for me to go to sleep daddy?
Bruce Wayne: Actually you needed to be asleep awhile ago, but that is ok. I need to talk to you about something.
Yvie: To tell me a story?

Bruce Wayne: Sort of like a story.
Yvie: Yes! I love stories!
Bruce Wayne: I know you do. I have a very special person here to see you. Someone that helped take care of you when you were a baby.
Yvie: Is it my mom Mothma Lady?
Bruce: No. It's your other mom.

Yvie: I have two moms? Like how my friend Ethan from the park has two dads?

Bruce Wayne: Not exactly. You see Moth Lady had you in her tummy like some mommies do but this other mom used magic sparkle dust to make sure that you were surrounded with love and happiness. And when you were born Moth Lady could not care for you so she let your second mommy and me take care of you.
Yvie: That sounds messy.
Bruce Wayne: Where did you learn that phrase from?
Yvie: Auntie April told me that when a story is too much that it is messy.

Bruce Wayne: Your Auntie April and I really need to talk. Anyway, Yvie, would you like to meet this special mommy?
Yvie: I think so. What if she is mean?
Bruce Wayne: I promise you, she is not mean. M, you can come in.

Miss M: Hi. (fights back tears) My goodness, look at you. You've grown since I saw you last.
Yvie: Daddy said you saw me when I was a baby.
Miss M: That's right. I did.

Miss M: Hey, are these guys part of the Grossery Gang?

Yvie: (gasps) You know about the Grossery Gang?
Miss M: I totally do.

Yvie: (stares at Miss M for a moment) Wait a second. I know you. You're her. We had candy. And costumes! And then I never saw you again.

Miss M: Oh my goodness, your first Halloween. That was when everything changed.
Yvie: You would sing to me. It made me laugh because it was so bad.
Miss M: (laughs) You would have to remember the bad singing huh?

Yvie: Daddy says you are my second mommy. Is that true?
Miss M: Well the numerical order might be debatable, but yes, I am one of your moms. I know you spent some time with Moth Lady.
Yvie: Yeah. She watched me. We'd go to all kinds of places. Sometimes even hiding. Like in the Fright Zone.
Miss M: (gasps) The Fright Zone?!
Yvie: (nods) Uh huh. She said bad words a lot and seemed mean but she was nice. You seem nice too.
Miss M: Well my sweetness I sure hope you think so.
Yvie: Are you going to stay the night?

Miss M: (looks over at Bruce) Oh goodness I did not think of that. I have my apartment to get back to.
Bruce Wayne: Don't be silly. You are staying here.
Miss M: But my dog Chewie! I have no idea how he has been!
Bruce Wayne: April has been taking care of him. I tried but he was ferocious. Please stay the night M. You can stay for as long as you want.

Yvie: Yes! Stay! Please momma. Please stay with me. Even the Grossery Gang wants you to stay. They say you are the prettiest momma in the whole wide world.

Grossery Gang: (sings in unison) Please won't you stay?

Miss M: (laughs) Ok. I will stay.
Yvie: Yay! Momma, will you protect me from the bad woman?
Miss M: (looks at Bruce with worry) What do you mean bad woman Yvie?
Bruce Wayne: Yeah, who are you talking about?
Yvie: The bad lady who took my wings. Please promise you will protect me momma.
Miss M: Sweet baby girl let me tell you something right now, no one is going to ever hurt you ever again. Your dad and I are going to make sure of that.
Yvie: Ok momma. Ok.

Miss M sits there with Yvie in her arms telling her stories about their previous time together. The happiness washes over Miss M and she fights back tears of joy. Her daughter is alive. Bruce Wayne watches over the two most important people in his life. He loves them both and there is no hiding it. Miss M and Bruce look and smile as Yvie eventually falls asleep, peacefully, for the first time in a long time. All is finally well.

For now.

Up Next!

The biggest nerdy event of the year is here! The Conference of Evil!


  1. aww how sweet toy miss m reunited with yvie and she just accepted right away toy miss m as her mother aka second mother. plus if ed can't have toy miss m there is always an ed oola pairing. and sounds like april will keep her vendetta against megan going till both are old toys or megan winds up in the after life

    1. I know! I was so happy to finally have them reunited. It was a long time coming. There is a lot in store for Ed for sure. For all of them. I also like the rivalry between Megan and April. It is a lot of fun writing that and I am sure at some point the vendetta will go away.

  2. I'm right there with Brian about taking the day off with gummy sharks in bed with scary movies. Though I'm lacking two of those things at the present so I'll content myself with catching up on blogposts from the couch... Maybe with some m and m s.

    Such a happy reunion after all this time!

    1. MnMs are always a good thing! I do wish Gummy Sharks were still a thing. I would love to have some. And it was a great happy reunion! I am so glad I finally got to this point in the story. It took forever! Longer than I had expected.

    2. I may be confusing gummy sharks with Swedish fish.