Monday, July 22, 2019

All My Toys: The 2019 Conference of Evil!

The Conference of Evil is upon us! Click the link and read on!

All My Toys
The 2019 Conference of Evil!

Snake Mountain.

Jake the Snake: Slither on out my snake fiends! We shall begin our trek to the Conference of Evil! I heard this year there will be a tribute to Lo-Pan. Poor fool never did find his green eyed bride. (pauses) Where is everyone?
Jake the Snake: (notices a visitor) I haven't seen you in awhile. What are you doing here?

Evil-Lyn: I've finally come to reclaim my dump of a home.

Jake the Snake: We've been through this before Evil-Lyn. This is my home now. I am the king of this mountain. I will fight you again, win again, and you will leave looking like a fool.

Evil-Lyn: Perhaps. This time is a little different though. I've brought along some muscle.

King Hiss: Thisss isss the feeble man you need help disssposssing?

Jake the Snake: Who the hell is this?

Evil-Lyn: The true snake king. You delusional old man. You've just sealed your fate by staying here! I'd run if I were you.

Jake the Snake: I have no intention of running.

King Hiss: Good. I wasss hoping you'd sssay that.

King Hiss transforms!

King Hiss: Prepare to die!

The two slithery titans fight for the top spot!

King Hiss hisses in victory!

Evil-Lyn: Lovely. It's so good to finally be home.

Across town... 
Lois Lane: While the masses head back from the fanfare of San Diego Comic Con, an entirely different event attracts an even larger crowd. The Conference of Evil has returned, a time of year when all things evil come together to discuss the latest evil plots and plans for the coming year and beyond. If you recall last year, the seemingly innocuous candy called Toxic Waste debuted and captured the country in its sweet mind numbing canisters. What will end up being the breakout hit this year?

Lois Lane: Just look at the people lined up! They've come from near and far to meet their favorite evildoers and find time to loot all kinds of goodies.

Lois Lane: Let's check in with some of the con's attendees and find out more!

Lois Lane: What are you most excited about this year?
Jafar: Well I happen to be quite the cinephile and I do believe there will be some amazing trailers. I've heard rumblings that we might actually get a real release date for Jaws 5.
Lois Lane: Right. That movie has been plagued with issues.

Lois Lane: Up next we have someone who traveled all the way from Westeros. What brought you here?

Cersei: I'm not even entirely sure. I find this all to be a pile of rubble. However there is a panel from the cast of How to Kill Your Dragon, and I am very intrigued to learn some of their methods.

Lois Lane: Anything you'd like to share... oh wait. I don't even think you can talk. Blink once if you are excited.

Lois Lane: There you have it. With so much evil loose in this country thanks to President Chocula, the 2019 Conference of Evil promises to be the most exciting one yet. Stick around for the 10 pm news where we break down highlights from today's events.

Across the street... 
Pizzazz: What a bunch of nerds. Standing in a long line for some silly conference. The Conference of Evil was only truly evil when the Misfits were performing at the conference's best event: the Evil Monster Jam.

Robot Server: My systems declare that you description is bitchin'. Your order will be ready soon.

Pizzazz: Here we are. What an interesting day. Have you been to the Conference of Evil yet?

Dr. Wiley: Ha. No. The conference has become too mainstream. True evil works beyond that lame event. Trust me, we aren't missing a thing.

Dr. Wiley: Now sit. We should be hearing word shortly.

Pizzazz: Really? Your robot master works fast.
Dr. Wiley: You needed a coffin dug up right? Drill Man can dig faster than Toad stuck in the desert.

Pizzazz: And does Drill Man know what to do when he finds the coffin? You did program him correctly didn't you?

Dr. Wiley: Of course. What type of madman do you take me for? Drill Man will also supply the electric charge like we saw in that Friday the 13th movie, and whatever is inside that coffin should come roaring back to life.

Pizzazz: Good. Because Miss M's original body being reanimated will be the key to that dork girl's undoing. Now, how much longer?

A couple hours later in a remote location...

Hordak: And you are sure this was Miss M's coffin?
Dr. Wiley: Don't question my work Hordak! It's the right coffin. There was only one Miss M.

Drill Man: The coffin is ready to open.

Hordak: (snorts) Get on with it! Open this thing up.

Pizzazz: This is a new era. We are finally going to destroy Miss M.

The coffin begins to slowly open.

Everyone gasps as something against the laws of nature wakes up...

Pizzazz: (looks on in horrific glee) She's alive.

Back at the Conference of Evil...
Bane: Welcome to my exhibit in Hall C. Glad you could make it here since this event has been shrouded in secrecy. I must say this is the most exciting event to occur at the Conference of Evil. I've been hunting all year and have found what will be part of television's most ultimate viewing event. Here's a preview!

Bane: Behold! Geoffrey the Giraffe! Failed toy business icon. Prepare to watch him fight for his life in the Cobra Arena of Sport. It will be an event like no other. Your childhood will never be the same.

To be continued!!!!

Up Next:

Miss M says her goodbyes and the Monster Cereal Mascots look for the real Count Chocula! Don't miss it.


  1. figured some how pizzaz plan included coffins too but was expecting they would dig up count chocolas or draculas one . and will jeffy survive the battle .plus evil lyne better be careful with king hiss for once a snake always a snake

    1. Yeah King Hiss can never be trusted. Never. There is so much fun stuff coming up, I am just ready to tell it all! lol