All My Toys: 307

All My Toys 306 left off with a cliffhanger! Miss M's dad, Al "Big Boy" Caprice collapsed. Now, Miss M finds herself rushing to the hospital! Click the link to find out what happens next!

General Hospital (picking up right after the events of episode 306)

Big Boy Caprice: Where the hell is this damn doctor? I got work to do. That pizza good? I heard Antonio is helping in the kitchen at that Sunny Brothers. 

Itchy: Yeah boss. Real good. You wanna slice while we wait?

Miss M: (slams door) Absolutely not. Dad, you put your hands on that pizza and you'll have to deal with me. I mean business buster.

Big Boy Caprice: (mocks being scared) Whoah, hey now! We can't have that.

Miss M: No we can't. The nurse told me they think you may have had a heart attack and you're about to eat pizza?

Big Boy Caprice: It's from Antonio, he moonlights at Sunny Brothers now. 

Miss M: I don't care. Don't even get me started on that man. Why do you even have pizza in here in the first place?! (points to Itchy) Who is he?

Big Boy Caprice: Oh, this is Itchy, he's uhh, my assistant manager at the club. Yeah. Assistant manager.

Itchy: Hey kid. It's real sweet how you look after your old man.

Miss M: Nice to meet you. Itchy is it? Is that a code name or something?

Itchy: Yeah. Got a bit of a skin condition.

Miss M: Oh. (slightly grimaces) Lovely. (remembers her manners) It is nice to meet you Itchy, but do you think I could be alone with my dad for a moment?

Itchy: Sure thing kid.

Big Boy Caprice: Itch, leave the pie will ya?

Miss M: (rolls eyes) Oh dad.

Miss M: You wanna tell me what happened? 

Big Boy Caprice: I just felt a way and passed out. Itchy found me on the floor, took me here. Easy peezy.

Miss M: And managed to pick up pizza too.

Big Boy Caprice: They delivered.

Miss M: Dad! This is serious. How long have you been waiting? 

Big Boy Caprice: Not long. They ran some tests, just waiting for the doctor to come in.

Miss M: Dad, you really need to take better care of yourself. I'm glad Itchy found you, this could be really bad. I'm worried about you.

Big Boy Caprice: Baby, that's sweet, but don't worry. Your old man is gonna be just fine. Just fine.

Dr. Nick: Hi, everybody! 

Big Boy Caprice: Lay it on me doc.

Miss M: Yes, what happened to my dad?

Dr. Nick: No need to worry. Tests came back, you're in luck Mr. Caprese. Panic attack. 

Big Boy Caprice: Whaddya mean?

Dr. Nick: You had a panic attack, brought on by high stress. You don't show any signs of a heart attack. Panic attacks can mimic the signs.

Big Boy Caprice: So what do I do with that?

Dr. Nick: You've got to lower your stress. Breathing exercises. Mindfulness. A Zen state of mind Mr. Caprese.

Miss M: My dad doesn't do well with those things. I don't even think he believes in them.

Dr. Nick: He should start. We'll also get you an anti-anxiety prescription. I'll set that up now and then you can be on your way.

Big Boy Caprice: This is the first time Dr. Nick has made sense. Though he still can't say my name worth a damn. (pauses) Panic attack. Huh. 

Miss M: It does not surprise me, with how stressful your life is. Maybe you need to retire? Give the club to Itchy and Scratchy, whoever.

Big Boy Caprice: Haha. Baby, that won't be happening.

Miss M: Ok, well panic attacks are serious things and meds won't be enough. You need to talk to someone. I know this great counselor, I'll give you her information and you can set something up.

Big Boy Caprice: A counselor? I'm Italian, we don't talk to strangers about our problems.

Miss M: Dad. Counselors keep what you say in confidence.

Big Boy Caprice: Like a priest?

Miss M: Yes, but better. It's like that show you watched, where that Tony Soprano guy talked to a therapist, and you loved that show. Remember?

Big Boy Caprice: Eh. Maybe so. 

Miss M: Dad, I'm serious. This was a close call. There are things you can do that can help.

Big Boy Caprice: Ok, ok, ok. You remind me of your grandmother. Persistent and hard headed.

Miss M: I mean, yeah. Come on, let's get this prescription. 

Big Boy Caprice: (reaches over for the pizza) Let me just get this.

Miss M: Leave it. Itchy can get it. My goodness, bringing pizza into the hospital. Come on dad.

Across town, at Club Ritz...

Krystle: That's good news that Big Boy will be ok. Now, where were we?

Pruneface: Listen Krystle, I can't help you. I don't know a thing about Cletus. 

Krystle: Oh you don't have to rat on anyone, I just need to know what happened and who was responsible. Don't I deserve that after everything I've been through?

Pruneface: Krystle, you know it is not wise to go diggin up near the gates of hell right? You'll find nothing but trouble.

Krystle: That's the problem Pruneface. The longer I am kept from the truth...

Krystle: ...the more I become the trouble. Do you understand?

Pruneface: (shakes head) Uhh yeah. I do.

Lana: I can't thank you enough for hypnotizing the coat girl to sneak a peek at Glo's license. I was able to go to her house!

Influence: Did you find anything?

Lana: Not exactly. But there is one thing.

Lana: She has a daughter. With blue hair.

Influence: What does that mean?

Lana: Oh Influence, you poor man. There's so much you don't know about this world.

Glo: Lana! 

Glo: We need to talk.

Lana: Give me a moment, won't you darlin?

Lana: I'm listening.

Glo: Don't ever show up to my house again like that, understood?

Lana: Oh, that sounds like quite the order.

Glo: You can call it whatever you want. I honestly don't care. But my home is off limits. I know what goes on here, and I certainly look the other way, but I will not have this mess around my home or near my daughter.

Lana: What's the matter darlin? You seem so touchy.

Glo: Look, we don't have to like each other but I come here and do my job, and my personal life will be separate from all of this. So, get that drilled into your head. Or else you'll see a different side of me. Not an order. A fact.

Glo storms off.

Influence: Looks like you struck a nerve.

Lana: Indeed. She has secrets, and I intend to find out exactly what they are. Of course, for your help, you can now have your fun with her.

Influence: Really? I've been waiting for this.

Lana: Yes, just don't kill her. Not until I'm through with her.

Influence: Heh heh. Sure thing Lana.

Police Station. A few days later.

Arcee: Tracy, you have not really been yourself lately. Are you still on a break with Miss M?

Dick Tracy: I guess I've been doing a lousy job of keeping that to myself huh?

Arcee: Yes. I would say absolutely yes.

Dick Tracy: I don't know what to do. I like to believe I am level headed with matters of the heart, but I want to call her. Tell her everything. Apologize. Throw myself at her mercy. I hate being like that.

Arcee: Why? That sounds like the process that unfolds between two people in a romantic relationship experiencing conflict.

Dick Tracy: I've really gone and made a mess of things. I know the truth about her dad. The longer I keep this from her, it will only get worse. Then I had to royally put my foot in the bathwater with what I said to her. I really hurt her feelings. I don't know how she'll forgive me.

Arcee: There is only one way to find out Tracy. You have to talk to her.

Dick Tracy: I know. I just need a little more time. I need to figure this out. We already missed out on a chance at happiness when we were younger, I don't want to make that mistake again.

A voice calls out over Dick Tracy's two way wrist radio, "...Calling Dick Tracy! The Brute is busting claw machines on the pier!"  

Dick Tracy: Duty calls.

Arcee: Let's roll out.

Miss M's Apartment.

Winston: So your dad is going to be ok?

Miss M: Yeah. I've been sending him all this information about panic attacks. I think he actually made an appointment with Deanna Troi for counseling. So that's good. Glo also reached out and said she'd be keeping an eye on him at the club. Which was nice. I feel like she and I haven't talked much lately.

Winston: Isn't that normal?

Miss M: Yeah. We've been friends since childhood, we've had longer stretches of not talking much, so it's normal. I just need to try and plan more things with her. Everything ok with you?

Winston: Yeah. Trying to map out a trip to see Sarah, but things are good. Anymore brushes with the law? (holds back a chuckle)

Miss M: (rolls eyes) Not since scaring the Keebler Elves. I've been a little more calm. I don't think I'm going to find any Pizzarias. I'm pretty much giving up on this interview with Dino Drac. 

Winston: You can't give up. The Bloglin Academy has all but said they were ready to give you a nomination. And, more importantly, you can't give up the chance to have a one on one conversation with Dino Drac. 

Miss M: Yeah, but Winston, how am I going to make that happen? I can't just show up as myself, Dino Drac will laugh at me.

Winston: I don't think he would do that. He might even be flattered that you want to interview him.

Miss M: Yeah, until he finds out I also want to win a Bloglin. I mean this whole thing is set up to just blow up in my face. It's best I let it all go. I've had enough mess in my life. Come on, let's just grab some food. French fries will make everything better. (they prepare to walk off)

Winston: Oh hey, who sent you a gift? Olive branch from Dick?

Miss M: Oh yeah. I forgot about that. I don't know who that is from. Vash came by and found it by my front door. I can't believe I forgot to open that. I doubt it is from Dick. He's been taking this break very seriously. Haven't heard a peep.

Winston: It doesn't say from who, should you open it? (pauses) What if it's a bomb? Has anyone wanted you dead lately?

Miss M: Last time I saw Velvet Sky she was way cordial, so I'm going to assume it's not a bomb. But, like, what if it is?

Winston: How long has it been there?

Miss M: Few days, it was the night I went to the hospital for my dad. So, surely it would have blown up by now?

Winston: Sometimes they don't blow up until they are opened. At least that's how it is on tv.

Miss M: Well we have to open it.

Winston: Why?

Miss M: Because if it's not a bomb it could be something really cool. And if it is a bomb, well, no more drama in our lives right?

Winston: Ok Miss Bleak. Alright. On the count of three.

Miss M: (squeals in nervousness) Oh Winston now I'm freaking out! I've already been killed by a bomb. I can't deal with the After Life again. We need to call in the bomb squad!

Winston: We could always call Dick Tracy, end that break real quick.

Miss M: (sighs) Lord no. Just open it.

One.

Two.

Miss M: Wait! Winston! If this is a bomb, I'm really glad we are friends. 

Winston: Me too.

Three!

Miss M: (in shock) Oh. My. Gawd. Am I looking at what I think I am?

Winston: I do believe. How is this possible?

Miss M: Who sent me a bag of frickin Pizzarias?!

Winston: Do you know what this means?

Miss M: I've got the offering! Winston! (screams in delight) I've got the golden ticket, I'm going to interview Dino Drac!

Winston: M! This is exciting. We've always managed to miss him at parties, or at the Blow Mold Store, but this is going to happen. 

Miss M: I know! I don't even care if this gets the attention of the Bloglin Academy, I'm just excited that this will be my chance to interview him! Wow. What if I forget how to be a journalist and just forget how to talk? Or pass gas on accident from nerves? Or make whale noises with my stomach?

Winston: That probably won't happen. 

Miss M: It could.

Winston: Ok, let's breathe for second. What happens now?

Miss M: Well that Ghost of Junk Food Past said once I found Pizzarias, we'd be in touch. He didn't leave a number. Maybe I click my heels three times?

Winston: What will that do?

Miss M: I dunno. Wait, you're a Ghostbuster, can't you just summon ghosts? 

Winston: That's not how it works. You know this.

Miss M: Ok. Maybe we open up all the snacks I have and perform a junk food seance?

Winston: Wait. M. I think he's here.

Miss M: That is him. Hey Slop. 

Slop: What's up cool kids?

Miss M: How did you know we needed you? It's uncanny.

Slop: I'm an uncanny piece of slime lady. And much like the fizzy pop of opening a can of Tab or ring of a vintage Taco Bell, I will appear when the sounds of old junk food need me. I heard you mention into the ether that you had a bag of Pizzarias. I'm surprised, I didn't think you had it in you. 

Miss M: I technically didn't. Someone gifted me the bag. 

Winston: (whispers) You don't need to tell him that.

Miss M: I'm nothing if not honest Winston!

Slop: Interesting. So someone just gifted you one of the rarest junk foods of the past? Why? Who? 

Miss M: I mean maybe we save that mystery for Nancy Drew and you tell me how I can meet Dino Drac since I have the offering you mentioned.

Slop: Where is this bag of Pizzarias? I would like to set it in my sights.

Winston: (mutters under breath) I wonder what his eyes look like. 

Miss M: Right here. Look all you want, but time is of the essence. I've spent far too long going on and on about Pizzarias these past couple months.

Slop: (appears mortally wounded) You can never go on too long about Pizzarias! They are a lost art form in the delicacies of junk food. They were made from actual pizza dough by the Italian cousins of the Keebler Elves that were flown in from Sicily. Each chip had a quality seal of approval that has never been replicated since. Rumors have long swirled that there was a falling out between the Keebler Elves in the states and the ones from Sicily, it caused the chips to be cursed. In order to halt this snack feud, the two families made an agreement for the chips to be discontinued and the recipe was sealed away in a vault. It is often referred to as the Massacre of Taste Buds during the late '90s. I could go on, but I must look upon this bag and bask in its history. 

Slop: (looks upon the bag for half a second) Is this some kind of joke?

Miss M: (nervous) I'm sorry, what do you mean?

Slop: This is clearly a 3D printed bag. A decent knock off, but, a knock off nonetheless.

Miss M: Oh no. No, no, no. You must be confused. Perhaps you need different shades, like you have 3D glasses on so they must be messing with your field of vision or something.

Winston: Yeah. Maybe if you took them off so we could see your eyes, err I mean, so that you could use your eyes.

Slop: No. I'm pretty certain I know the difference between a vintage bag of junk food and a replica. I am after all the Ghost of Junk Food's Past. Shame on you Miss M. And to think, I was going to grant you access to V. Price Peak to Dino Drac's Castle for that coveted interview. For shame.

Miss M: Wait! I had no idea. Someone left that at my doorstep. I just need a little more time. You said so yourself, this is a rare artifact! Things like this take time! Just, please, give me a little more time! I can find a bag!

Slop: Hmm, let me think, no. And don't try to summon me back with a crisp soda. Only the Soda Jerk can do that.

Slop: Later skater. (Slop slowly slides away)

Winston: Remarkable. He doesn't leave a trail of slime at all.

Miss M: He's a ghost Winston. Why would he? (throws hands in the air) Crap! Everything is slipping away from me. How did this happen? (plops on the couch)

Winston: It would appear that someone was trying to sabotage you, maybe? Sending a fake bag and everything!

Miss M: I mean. Who would do that?

Winston: You did say there were a few other bloggers vying for the Dino Drac interview, maybe someone decided to make this all cutthroat.

Miss M: April was right. When she was running the Diary, I bet this would not have happened. In fact, I bet April would have already had the interview completed. I don't know what I was thinking, that I'd somehow be able to make this blog a well oiled machine on my own. 

Winston: Do you think she'd help you, ya know, if you called her?

Miss M: Winston. Our friendship was never the same after she found out I knew her dad was alive and didn't tell her. No amount of explaining and apologies ever really brought our friendship back to what it was. No way she'd help me. It's over. I did what I could, but it's over. Time to hang up my hat and put the cow out to pasture. I just wanted to talk to him, I had so many questions. It was to be one of the highlights of my career in journalism. Le sigh.

Winston: M, it can't be over. We just need to regroup. You wanted this so badly.

Miss M: I want a lot of things Winston, but the truth is, the cold hard truth is (pauses in preparation for some profound statement) I got nothing. 

Up Next!

Wedding bells! Therapy! And Miss M takes matters into her own hands!

Like the previous posts on this blog, it is with great sadness that the blogging community lost William Bruce West. My heart goes out to his family, including his wife Lindsay and two daughters. Will contributed so much to the toy/comics/pop culture blogging and podcast community. His opinions on pop culture are the stuff of legend. Please check out the West Family GoFundMe and consider donating, they need our support more than ever. If you can't donate, please spread the word. West Family GoFundMe