I've been busy writing up a storm, doll reviews, toy soap operas, but I have had to pause all of that for a moment. Like many of us, I am feeling the loss and feeling incredibly devastated Dolly Parton passed away. And like many people, it feels important to share my thoughts about the diamond decked out in rhinestones.
I was aware of Dolly Parton and her music as a kid. I was born in the '80s, so I got to witness her shining star power as a singer and actress just rise and rise. I knew when my mom's dad was alive, he had been a big fan of her music. My mom was too. Dolly was a larger than life presence. Steel Magnolias was a right of movie passage viewing in my house, I grew up on that movie. Her Truvy was an inspiration, I related to her character the most when watching. Her warmth and wit were traits I have long strived for.
I grew up with two very different families, with some similarities. My dad's side were immigrants from Sicily and Italy coming through Galveston, Texas and settling in the city, my mom's side were immigrants from Czechoslovakia coming in through Galveston and residing out in the country. I grew up somewhere in the middle with roots and experiences planted in both worlds.
I felt closer to the Italian side of my family, there was more of an awareness and acceptance with how different I was. Growing up and realizing that I was trans, I didn't feel like I could ever be a part of the world my mom's side lived in. I loved the country. I loved the stillness. It was peaceful. Of course there were scary parts about the country, largely involving the views of some of the people, but aside from that it was a world I loved. Even if I felt like an outsider never to truly belong because how could that side of my family ever understand and love me for me?
And spoiler alert, they never did. To this day, my mom's side of the family, I am not a part of their lives. My being trans is just something that is not understood or accepted. For many years I took that to mean that I could never belong to that world. Which is one of the things I grew to love and respect about Dolly as I got older. I got to see a real life example of a woman from a southern world fully able to love and embrace everyone. She was this bonus relative in my life, one whose voice and way of life I aspired to be like and to know that I could belong and it was everyone else's darn loss to not want me around.
I grew up with her music. But it was music that had been passed down. Music I listened to because of my mom, which is great, but it wasn't until 2002 with Halos and Horns that I actually discovered her music on my own. From then on I was always ready for the next album she'd release. Her movies were also amazing, and I can go on and on about her pop culture relevance, but what I hold onto most is that she was the purest embodiment of love and light. I never got the chance to meet her, though I always hoped I magically would, but following her career and the wonderful things she has done to help people, it forever made an impact on me. She helped me understand that I am worth love and belonging, and how to be that presence for other people as well. We need that kind of love now more than ever in this world.
So, here's to Dolly.
No comments:
Post a Comment