Mila: Kay. Sounds cool. What's the scoop?
Mila: (drops mouth open) Sha. Ya right. You can't fire me! My mother is a countess!
April: You're mother could be schtupping Count Chocula for all I care, you are fired.
Mila: Like I even care! You're nothing but an old has-been trying to hold onto five minutes of fame from turtles that can't even ninja properly.
April: You make no sense. Now begone, before I release the hounds.
Mila quickly leaves, vowing revenge.
Moments later, while still alone in her office...
Casey: (looks concerned) Oh no hon, what is it? Are you ok?
April: I feel like I am losing everything.
Casey: No April. The only thing you have lost is your dear friend.
Casey: Who do you think she'd be interviewing this month?
April: Oh I have no doubt in my mind she'd be delivering a top notch interview that would be superb...
February 2014 Heroic Hottie!
April: We'd get the big guns from G.I. Joe for this interview.Casey: Wait, Mainframe is the big guns?
April: Eh. He'd be all we could afford. Let's listen in to what could have been...
Miss M: Ok. I think I get that. It is very exciting that G.I. Joe, as a household name, just recently celebrated its 50th birthday! That is just amazing.
Dataframe: It really is Miss M. I am proud to be a part of a long line of real American heroes. I also look forward to seeing how Hasbro will be celebrating the G.I. Joe birthday.
Miss M: Now, share with us what it is that you exactly do.
Miss M: Oh wow. So you are like super smart. Do you happen to know how I can find out who unfollows me on Twitter?
Miss M: Really? I think I was put in harm's way with that security breach. Even though technically I'm dead right now and this is all in my friend April O'Neil's head.
Dataframe: Huh? I'm confused.
Miss M: So am I. All right, computers are your thing. Do you think that computers will one day take over the world?
Miss M: Oh my goodness, I am so scared right now. I've got chills. I'm not ready to become a computer's bee with an itch.
Dataframe: Well little lady, it is what it is...
April: I can't help it Casey! I feel like I am starting to feel parts of my face I haven't felt in years.
Casey: Hon, I think what needs to happen is that I should be interviewed for the Heroic Hottie position.
April: Haven't we been over this before? You can't be a Heroic Hottie.
Casey: Why not?
April: You are sleeping with the editor in chief.
Casey: Hon, I'm married to the editor in chief. I don't think it would matter if you interviewed me. We've had good times haven't we? Who better to jump start this Diary again than me, your first and second husband.
April: I just think that is a bad idea. In fact, I think I just need to give up. I think it is time for the Diary to be shut down. It just can't ever be the same with Miss M gone. Everyone is just beside themselves.
Casey: I know. Poor Michelangelo keeps ordering those heart shaped pizzas from Antonio's and scarfing them down real fast. The way he just unhinges his jaw...
April: I can't hear anymore. I'm going to be sick. That does it. I'm done. I'm ending Diary of a Dorkette. I never should have continued this blog after Miss M's passing.
Casey: You're finally getting to move your face. (they embrace)
Casey: What, hugging me?
April: No. Just having the ability to move my face again. I have so many facial expressions and emotions to reunite with. Ok. Let's do it! Let's keep the Diary alive and well.
April: Ugh no. Janine only wishes she could interview people. Look, she may have been in a coma from my Halloween bash, but that doesn't mean we have to be besties. No, I have someone else in mind. Let me just make a quick phone call. I love you Casey.
February 2014 Heroic Hottie!
Meanwhile... In the After Life...
Miss Elizabeth: Then you know the rules. You can't stay here. You will be returned to the doors and you will be placed back with the other evils of the After Life. My only other question is this, were you in this alone?
Jafar: I don't follow. Miss Elizabeth.
While Maleficent still lurks free, searching for the one called dorkette...
To be continued!