I'm dead. I've been dead for awhile now. I don't really know how long. Everyone in the After Life keeps telling me I will get used to the sense of time around here, but I just can't. I have new friends though. Miss Elizabeth has been a terrific presence in my life. I'd be lost around here for sure. I've even gotten to know Aerith Gainsborough! Of Final Fantasy VII fame! She is so sweet and kind. A little paranoid about getting stabbed in the back by folks, but I guess it is understandable. I've also become friends with this really cool guy named Ed. He's like almost as much of a dork as me and he wears a panda suit. It sounds totally weird, yet, we're dead, so what does it matter? He's also building me a house. Like I thought once you were dead you didn't have to worry about those things, but it is straight up the Sims Life in the After Life. This thing called a Blue Moon happens where like evil folks creep out trying to do harm. However they can't because (duh) we're all dead. That's why everyone needs a home. So we can just shut out all that crazy noise. Everyone has one, but me. And he built me one so I didn't have to be left out. He's actually become a really nice friend. We do a lot of Nintendo talk and movie talk. It's a shame we never really knew each other when we were alive. Who knows what could have happened. Oh well. I miss everyone from when I was alive. Each moment that passes though feels different. Almost like those people were all part of a dream. April. Casey Jones. She-Ra. Michelangelo... Oh my dear Michelangelo... I think that's enough diary. I'm getting white girl emotional. Never pretty. I've got to stop this. I don't even know how I'm recording this right now since paper isn't even allowed in the After Life. I'm out!
Somewhere in the After Life...
Ed: For now. I'm not finished yet.
Ed: I'd even install a Nintendo in it if we had one. I keep waiting for the After Life to get one. Wouldn't that be amazing?
Ed: Yeah. So, I know I need to get a door and everything, but it hasn't been easy to find the right items. It's coming along nicely though.
Ed: It's nothin really. When you have all the time in the After Life, you can get a lot accomplished.
Miss M: Tell me about it.
Miss M: Sure. What's up?
Ed: Well, I was tuning into the cycle of time, and I think it would be around the time of Valentine's Day for those living on Earth, give or take a few days.
Ed: I bet you had a ton of Valentines.
Miss M: Not really. In fact, no. I guess something special could have happened had Michelangelo and I made it to that point, but we never made it that far.
Ed: Hmm. That's unfortunate. Well... would you want to be my Valentine?
Miss M: Huh?
Miss M: Oh. Ok. Yeah, sure. As friends. That sounds cool. So, what do we do?
Ed: Well... we start by you taking a long walk. I've got a surprise for you.
Miss M: (smiles) Really? That's very sweet of you.
Miss M: Ok. I'll go. And maybe I'll bring back a surprise for you too!
Ed: You don't have to worry about that.
Miss M: It isn't a worry at all. I'm more than happy to do that! I'll be back soon.
Ed: Can't wait!
While Ed finishes his surprise, Miss M wanders around the After Life, trying to figure out a way to surprise Ed.
Miss M: Wow, I don't know what to do. I've never been in a situation like this before. I can't believe it took me until being in the After Life to actually have a worthy Valentine. But what does this mean? I mean, we're only friends. He is cute. But I love Michelangelo. Right? I can't start developing feelings for Ed. Although, it is nice to have Ed as a friend. He's a nice guy. But what am I even doing? I'm in the After Life. I'm like dead. I never have to worry about a thing anymore. There are no bills to pay. I never have to worry about encountering a mean person ever again. Why am I even worried about love? I have new friends now. And a new home. I'm going to be ok.
February 2014 Bodacious Baddie!!!!
Miss M: But how are you dead? I saw you at this past Summer's Conference of Evil. I don't get it.
Maleficent: Oh my sweet child, there is so much you do not know. I've been gone for a long time. Every now and then though magic allows me to visit the land of life. To walk among the living can be a precious thing. Had it not been for me, who would have saved you at the Conference?
Miss M: Well yes, of course. You stepped in to save me. I am forever grateful.
Miss M: So... no offense Maleficent, but aren't you evil? Why are you here in the After Life?
Maleficent: Now why would you say such a thing about me? I have a pure heart. (leans in close to Miss M and grins) Listen to me dear. I require your help. You owe me a favor for saving your life.
Miss M: (recalls her chance meeting at the Conference of Evil) Ah, yes. Of course I do. What could I possibly do for you though?
Maleficent: What if I told you that I could bring you back; back to life.
Miss M: Why would you do that? Is it because you want me to check out the biopic about your life this May?
Miss M: Yeah. I'm kind of excited about it. I mean, it is about time we see that kind of movie, I just hope that one day they do a movie on Ursula. She just seems so complicated...
Maleficent: Enough dear. Answer my question. Do you want to return to life?
Maleficent: It is with magic. Anything is possible with magic.
Miss M: You would do that for me? You'd bring me back to life?
Maleficent: Of course I would. Not without a price though, remember, you owe me.
Miss M: (looks worried) I know.
Maleficent: Don't worry. You and me, we are a lot alike.
Miss M: We are?
Miss M: What is the item?
Miss M: Umm, but I'm confused. If you are dead, and you can't bring anything with you to the After Life, why even bother with this dragon figurine?
Miss M: (pauses) Well... I don't know. I've sort of gotten used to being dead. I kinda like it here, I've even made new friends...
Miss M: (thinks about it for a second) Ok. I'll help you.
Miss M: I'll even go to the movies and report back on your biopic.
Maleficent: (grins) Aren't you so sweet.
Miss M: So... how will this work?
Maleficent: Very simple dear. You must stand still while I cast a spell right here.
Maleficent: (eyes flair wide) No! There isn't much time. Magic like this is not easy to come by, or I would have already brought myself back. We must do this now.
Maleficent: Don't worry, I will tell them for you. Now, are we to do this proper?
Miss M: (nods in excitement) As long as you can tell everyone goodbye for me then yes. I'm ready to return.
Looking around at her surroundings, Miss M soon realizes that something feels different about her.
Miss M: My thighs. They feel weird. (looks down at her hands and feet in a blur)
Realizing that she is in a completely different body, Miss M freaks out.
As Miss M contemplates her new world, another poor soul continues to wait for his crush to see her new home...
Februrary 2014 Bodacious Baddie!