Love is the most important thing. All kinds of stories exist about love and the pursuit of that one person that is going to "get" you. I found that person. He is a Ninja Turtle. And not even the confines of the After Life can stop me from reuniting with Michelangelo. True, I had to make a dreadful deal with Maleficent, but that's ok. I doubt I'll ever find her silly dragon figurine. I have just one problem though. I'm not in my old body. I have a new body. It's a bit haggard. I have these slimy insect wings. I smell like moth balls. I feel like this body once belonged to a villain from Golden Girl. My hair is in desperate need of a wash and set. I look like a villain. However none of that matters, because I am trying to fly to my old house to reunite with my love. At least I'm trying to fly. Having wings now from never having them before is, like, way weird. Flying is hard.
Inside April O'Neil's office...
April: Damn Emma Frost. Always trying to be a boss ass bitch. Go ahead and schedule her soon. If we have to we can just put her in a room with designer clothes and a tape recorder. What else?
April: Heck no. This isn't even half way through the end of the book yet. Maybe we need to find Judy Jetson. I bet she has an interesting story.
April: I know. That sounds far fetched. I just don't know what we are going to do...
Irma: Of course. I had to help my old friend.
April: Hold your tongue, I'm not old. Now tell me, how long are you here for?
Irma: As long as you need me. Looks like things are a mess.
April: (shakes her head) Pay no attention to Irma. She is just boy crazy. Guy Friday, go get us some tea please. Irma will take two sugars and I'd like mine long.
Irma: Thanks Guy Friday!
April: Calm down girl. He isn't all that. Where are your glasses?
April: Yeah. I see you still have fashionably challenged ensembles. Nothing changes with you does it?
Irma: I could say the same about you April. You look like you just stepped out of 1992.
Irma: Me too. I'm sorry about Miss M.
April: I know. It sucks that she died.
April: Yes. She was deep in turtle love.
Irma: That sounds really gross.
April: Nah. It wasn't anything skanky. He's actually been pretty heartbroken.
Irma: Sounds sad. But I know we aren't here to jump into a sob story about her. Your phone call was super urgent. What can I do to help? (quickly adds) Please tell me I am not going to be a secretary.
Irma: Of course I will!
April: Great! Now let's get to work!
Black Cat: Better not be on my part of town.
Black Cat: I need to call a meeting of the Cat Ladies.
Catwoman: Everyone? Even Simone?
Black Cat: If you can find her.
Black Cat: I've really missed Miss M lately. She was our honorary Cat Lady and her death has just really set me off. I haven't even wanted to flirt with Spidey. And I can find time to flirt with him on my worst day.
Catwoman: It is sad news, but she was just a dorkette at the wrong place and the wrong time.
Catwoman: Murdered? Miss M? Who would want to kill some pale dork girl?
Black Cat: I don't know. I intend to find out though. If someone was responsible for her death, we owe it to Miss M to avenge her.
Catwoman: Shouldn't we get the super hero type to do this kind of work? Women like us aren't really known for doing the right thing.
Catwoman: Fine. Get the Cat Ladies together. If someone killed her, we'll find out the truth...
Miss M: Wow. I'm dead for just a few months and my house looks so dirty.
Miss M: (finds herself speechless) I don't know what to say...
Michelangelo: Whoa. You have wings.
Miss M: (smiles) I do. Can I come inside? I don't mean to be weird, but I have something important to tell you.
Miss M: Thanks. I can assure you, I am not a villain. At least I haven't done anything villainous recently. The 80's were awhile ago, am I right?
Michelangelo: (looks at her oddly) Right. So... what's this all about?
Miss M: Excuse me? Michelangelo, it's me. Honest.
Michelangelo: I don't know what kind of crack head dudette you are, but this is soo not cool. I just lost my girlfriend. I'm in a wicked state of grief-ola. That's major grief. Get out of my girlfriend's house.
Miss M: But Michelangelo, this is my house! I'm her. I'm Miss M! I'll do all the tests like in the movies and soaps. I'll share with you some strange detail about us that only you would know. Umm... I am using your real name! I am the only one that calls you by your full name! I was even murdered!
Miss M: (looks gut punched) What? I can't leave. I came back from the dead for you. I love you! Please, just look at me. Look into my eyes. Hold my hands. Please, I am begging you. It's really me.
Michelangelo: If you don't leave I am totally going to call the po-po. They are killer when it comes to this.
Michelangelo: Miss M would never do this to me. You aren't even a bodacious babe. The Miss M I know and love would have arrived with her hair fixed up and some better clothes on. She'd never wear some ribbed turtleneck body suit. If you were really her, you wouldn't be such a messy looking person.
Miss M: But...
Michelangelo grabs Miss M and ushers her out of the house.
As Miss M contemplates her next move, the world keeps on moving. April is back in business thanks to Irma. The Cat Ladies map out their Nancy Drew skills. Even She-Ra gets in on the fun as she tries to put her own special skills to the test in finding the pirate Sea Hawk. All these women are bound together and driving their own story, why it's enough to say that these women are all full of wonder. They are all the:
February 2014 Women of Wonderosity!
Stick around. The month of love may be over, but there is still more jam-packed action and suspense just around the corner.
Can Miss M get anyone to believe she is back from the dead?
Will Irma save Diary of a Dorkette?
What happened to Sea Hawk?
Are the toy interviews ever going to get good again?
Find out in March!