March 2014 Woman of Wonderosity

Previously on All My Toys...

Miss M finally found love with Michelangelo, the party Turtle. Her love was cut short though as her life ended in a sewer explosion courtesy of the wrestler Velvet Sky. Bent on revenge for an article written a few years ago on the extreme blog Diary of a Dorkette, Velvet Sky sought the ultimate revenge from Miss M's quick wit.

Dead with nothing to do in the After Life, Miss M made a twisted deal with the vile Maleficent and returned to Earth... in the body of Golden Girl villain Moth Lady. Now living under a bridge with a pet Roach for a friend, Miss M must find a way to find someone to believe her before the real Moth Lady regains control of her conscience. Struggling with a war in her mind, Miss M merely wants to find a way back to her old life.

Meanwhile, April O'Neil, reporter and journalist extraordinaire and ruler of Diary of a Dorkette has tried her best to continue the fine journalism of the Diary after the grave loss of Miss M. With the help of old friend Irma Langinstein, April can only hope that the Diary will be saved before it is shut down for good...

Click below to find out what happens next!

Miss M: We don't have enough food.

Roach: I know milady. Times have changed, the dwellers of Earth realm are no longer as wasteful as they once were. They require sustenance more so than ever before. If we move west though, we shall once again regain the replenishment our bodies require.

Miss M: Or I could just go get a job.
Roach: I shall find a job milady. You should stay here and find others to join your great insect army.

Miss M: Umm, about that. I'm really not comfortable telepathically communicating with other insects. I'm only just now getting used to you. Baby steps. For now, I'll go get a job.
Roach: If you insist milady. But... where will you go?
Miss M: I've been thinking about that. I need to go and see an old friend...

As Miss M leaves, something else unfolds across town. It's the...

March 2014 Woman of Wonderosity!

April: Oh Irma, these pictures look splendid. Glimmer has never looked better. How did the interview go?
Irma: It went so well April. I enjoyed talking with her and I'm simply putting the finishing touches on the interview. It should be up at the end of March.

April: Great. So go on, what was Glimmer like?

Irma: Super kind and super glamorous. She brings the boys to the yard for sure and she knows how to give good dish. She talked about everything. Old memories on her school girl crush on Bow. Numerous accounts of fighting up against Hordak. She was also thrilled that the Club Etheria subscription went through. Tears were streaming down her face as she realized that she'd might actually get to see her mother after all these years.
April: Sounds like some good stuff. I can't wait for the rest of the interview! My goodness Irma, I think you just might save the Diary. These images look like Whispering Woods magic. The courtyard at Bright Moon is lovely.

Irma: I know. The whole place was so lush.
April: I'm just glad you are churning out these interviews. With so many blogs shutting down left and right, it's getting pretty bleak out there. We're losing our funding source from Stark Industries to boot. We need a miracle. I think Glimmer might be the interview that lights the way. The Diary is just going to be fine! (high fives Irma.)

Irma: I'm really glad April. This sounds like good news since you seemed so sad earlier today.
April: Oh I was sad earlier. The new trailer to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie was released and it was all so real. I won't get to play myself in the movie. That damn lucky tart.
Irma: It's ok April. Everyone knows there's only one April O'Neil.
April: Got that darn right.

Guy Friday walks into the office.

Guy Friday: Excuse me ladies, I do not mean to interrupt. There is a peculiar lady here to see you April. She said something about a job interview. I had nothing on the calendar though...

April: Oh this must be a leftover from before we hired Irma. Don't worry, I'll take care of this. What does she look like?

(Guy Friday motions for April to look. Peeking around the corner, April catches sight of the disheveled body of Moth Lady!)

April: Oh my. Guy Friday, be a dear and find some Lysol. Spray everything she has touched. My goodness she looks like she smells of moths. All right, I'll be in my office. Irma, continue your work.

Irma: All right boss.

A conversation later...

April: I do apologize, the position for a writer at the Diary has already been filled, but I'd be more than happy to talk with you. We're always looking for extra writers for side projects. So tell me, why are you interested in writing for Diary of a Dorkette?

Miss M: (sighs) The Diary means a lot to me. I've been reading... since the beginning you could say.
April: That's good. Being aware of the material is certainly crucial. Do you have any experience with writing?
Miss M: I have a lot of experience. I promised myself I wouldn't say this. You look so good April.

April: Oh, well thank you. The secret is in the right lunch time procedure for your own face. That's what I always say.
Miss M: Listen, I need you to hear what I'm saying. I never thought I'd be here again. I died.
April: Well that sucks. You look ok for a dead lady though.

Miss M: I'm not ok though April. Come on. I need you to listen. Does my voice sound familiar?
April: I'm sorry dear. I have no idea. Do we know each other?
Miss M: You're one of my best friends. We went to school together. It's me, Miss M. I came back in this whole new body and it all sounds like the plot of a really bad body swap story line, but you must believe me. I don't know how much time I have before the true owner of this body comes back. I need you to believe me. I know you won't because that's not how this story works, but please. Like the great prolific words of Abba, take a chance on me.

April: (looks sad) Michelangelo tried telling me about you. I certainly believe what you are saying. Or rather, I believe that you believe what you are saying. But I'm sorry moth ball lady, my friend is dead. I won't kick you out, but I think you should leave.
Miss M: (panics) No! You have to believe me! Find that damn Long Island Medium lady! Find a telepath! Do something. It's me, Miss M! I'm really her. I need to find a way back in my old body. I'm begging you.
April: And I'm begging you to leave now before I call the police.
Miss M: No.
April: Get out of my office now.
Miss M: (pauses) Please. I need a job. I can get professional help. I know how crazy I must sound, but I'm not. I've just been through a lot and I need someone to give me a chance. Just give me a chance. I won't say anything about the body switch ever again. I promise.
April: Are you serious right now? You just told me that you were my dead friend. I can't hire you. Now get out! You're smelling up the joint!
Miss M: (tears form in her eyes) I can't help that! It's under the bridge smell. I just need a second chance.

April: (waves her arms in anguish) Guy Friday! Guy Friday!

Guy Friday arrives.

Guy Friday: Yes April?
April: (points to Miss M) Take this trash out. And if she returns, call the police.
Miss M: (shakes her head as Guy Friday approaches her) Stop! Don't touch me! Don't you dare! I'll rip you all to shreds! (covers her mouth) Where did that come from? Oh goodness, Moth Lady is trying to come out.

Guy Friday grabs hold of a sobbing Miss M and escorts her out of the office. Sobbing to herself, Miss M stands around outside.

Miss M: This is it. This is where it all ends.

The sobs only grow louder as it begins to rain over the silly little dork girl living in the body of a cold blooded villain who can communicate with bugs. (Editor's note: Eww.)

Meanwhile in a far more scarier place...

Hordak: (motions towards Leech) Bring in my special guest.

Soon Hordak is face to face with his accomplice in crime: Velvet Sky!!!

Velvet Sky: Sup? I love the smell of the air now since that dork girl is dead. Can't you smell a difference Hordak?
Hordak: (snorts) I can only smell the scent of fresh slime for my Slime Pit.

Velvet Sky: Makes no difference. I have a new lease on life. I've even gotten the chance to reestablish myself as a successful wrestler. Look, I was even able to buy new clothes. Do you like?
Hordak: You look like a tart. What are you doing here?
Velvet Sky: What do you mean? I came to visit my perfect partner in evil.

Hordak: You should not be here foolish woman. Unless you want the world to know what we did.
Velvet Sky: No one will ever know what we did to that stupid Miss M.

Hordak: I don't care to hash up the past. Do you have my end of the deal?
Velvet Sky: I'm working on it. I never go back on my word. I'll get you the information you need for helping me destroy Miss M.
Hordak: You better. I want the personal contact information of all the Heroic Hotties and Women of Wonderosities if I plan on finding a way to destroy them all...

The pair continue their talk of evil while someone lurks in the shadows...

Catra: (whispers to herself) Wait until the Cat Ladies hear about this. I think we will now know what truly happened to Miss M...

To be continued! In April!

March 2014 Woman of Wonderosity

Up next:

*More toy interviews!
*Will evil prevail?
*Find out what happens when Miss M and desperation collide!
*Also... a little kitty cat told me that a special super hero just turned 75. Well dear readers get ready, the Dark Knight joins the cast of All My Toys. Soon...