They want me to kill She-Ra. That's all.
Miss M presents...
How to Get Away with Murder...
Miss M really presents...
The September 2014 Bodacious Baddie Extravaganza!
Miss M: Crap! I knew this wasn't going to work.
She-Ra: Do you normally sneak into people's homes trying to kill them with plastic weaponry?
Miss M: No. I'm actually a really great citizen. I just was in the wrong body at the wrong time.
Miss M: It doesn't matter. There is a force of evil that wants you dead and they tried to get me to do it.
Miss M: No, none of them.
She-Ra: Then who? Don't tell me it's a group of vintage purists? I can't handle them. 2015 is happening, we're all gonna get Perfuma like it or not.
Miss M: That's not where I saw this going. It's a villain by the name of Dragon Queen.
She-Ra: I've never heard of her.
Miss M: So like, Dragon Queen was this villain from Golden Girl. Golden Girl was your pink aisle rival in the 80's.
She-Ra: Oh I remember the Golden Girls. So this Dragon Queen is what, like an evil Bea Arthur Drag Queen or something?
She-Ra: I won't argue that point.
Miss M: Anyways, so I used to be a part of Dragon Queen's evil forces, but through a series of unfortunate and crazy events, I am not her. Oh this sounds so confusing. Just know that I am one of the good guys and they tracked me down.
She-Ra: You are good. You helped save the world when it fell into Total Darkness.
Miss M: Oh that was nothing. So yeah, I was given no other choice but to kill you. Only I can't kill you. You are She-Ra! You're my role model. I've looked up to you since I was a little girl when my hair was less crimped.
Miss M: Well, I was thinking about that on the way up here. How about we fake your death? That way you can take some time off and let the villains think you are gone, and then you can come back kick some bad guy butt and all will be right with the universe.
She-Ra: That sounds complicated. I could just stop Dragon Queen and her evil forces.
She-Ra: Ok stop rambling, I got it. I'll help you. But I will need your help in return.
Miss M: Anything.
Miss M: How did you know?
She-Ra: Your job was announced on Twitter.
Miss M: Wow. She-Ra tweets. Too cool!
She-Ra: I just try to stay on top of things, ok? Either way, you can find information on the inside. We are looking for a woman who goes by the name Velvet Sky. We have reason to believe she killed our friend.
Miss M: Finally! We're really going to make her pay! I will help you. Oh my goodness, I will help you. I saw first hand what Velvet Sky did. I'm a witness. Beyond a witness!
She-Ra: Really? This is kismet!
Totally. I'll help find Velvet Sky and bring her to justice. (whispers to herself) If only I could tell you the truth, that I am the real Miss M and Velvet Sky must pay for her crimes! But no one will believe me. Le sigh.
She-Ra: Ok. Too much info. I got it. All right, what do we need to do to fake my death?
I mean, faking a death doesn't have to be this complicated. I really just need a fantastic fashion of yours with some fake blood on it. Let's just take it old school Greek tragedy. Back when they didn't really need a lot of proof.
She-Ra: We really should make this believable though. A fake bloodied piece of clothing just seems lazy. Here, punch me in the face. Go on, punch as hard as you can.
Miss M: Ummm, I can't do that. It goes against everything I believe in.
She-Ra: Is Vultura the daughter of the Bride of Frankenstein?
She-Ra: Don't answer that. Come on, I've got a plan.
She-Ra: I've faced bigger threats. With one arm tied behind my back too!
Miss M: You must be confused. This is She-Ra! You both fight for the side of good!
Dragon Queen: This is insanity!
Another voice calls from the shadows...
Catra: (slinks into the group) No one will kill She-Ra, but me!
Miss M: She-Ra, I'm really scared.
Yet another voice fills the room as everyone turns to stare in anticipation...
As Dragon Lady makes an attempt at She-Ra's life, another voice calls out.
Miss M: I don't spread very easily.
She-Ra: Sweetie, that doesn't sound right.
Miss M: I realize that now. After the fact.
Xena: Didn't we already hash this all out before?
An eery calm falls across the rowdy women.
She-Ra: Let me think real quick.
Dragon Queen and Golden Girl, you two join forces. Get a Kickstarter set up to rally support for a Golden Girl comeback. Raise the funds and make your reboot a reality!
Entrapta: Life was never this lousy when we lived in the Fright Zone.
She-Ra: Oh hon, all you need to do is say a Novina in the hopes that you'll finally get your solo movie.
She-Ra: (shrugs) I would have called for back up. Everyone knows I've got the coolest friends around.
Miss M: All right She-Ra. You truly are the most powerful woman in the universe.
She-Ra: I knew it. I knew there was something special about you. Are you planning on telling me the truth now? That you are more than meets the eye?
Miss M: I'm not an Autobot.
Miss M: Sounds like a plan.
Miss M: Yeah. I agree. It's really crimped.
September 2014 Bodacious Baddie!
Mona Lisa: Hey Mikey. What's up?
Mona Lisa: Define special?
Michelangelo: I got us reservations to Tres Bliss. Totally cool huh?
Michelangelo: Aww I dunno dudette. I just wanna do something special for ya.
To be continued!
Another month down and only three left to go before All My Toys closes the year out in a big way! The stories get crazier and the moment we've all been waiting for will finally happen! Stay tuned!