I'm in trouble. I really should have stayed in Bruce Wayne's mansion. While moving back to Moth Lady's home under the bridge, some of her old friends found me. They have no idea that I am inside Moth Lady's body, so they think their old friend is still there. The problem is I absorbed Moth Lady's memories thanks to Jean Grey, and now I am in control of Moth Lady's body. So this Dragon Queen and her accomplice have asked me to do something terrible. They want me to kill She-Ra. Yes, She-Ra. One of my ultimate role models. How in the world do I kill She-Ra?
Inside a Dairy Queen...
As Miss M waits, her mind drifts to a few days ago...
Dragon Queen: Of course. We've been noticing you in the gossip rags. You've been quite busy hobnobbing with some of the city's finest super heroes.
Wild One: It's impressive. Pretending to be a do-gooder when all you are really about is pure evil. Infiltrating the system is brilliant, isn't it Dragon Queen?
Miss M: There's just one problem. I can't kill She-Ra. She's like the most powerful woman in the universe. I can't do it.
Dragon Queen: Well you are gonna try Moth Lady, because if you don't, we'll just have to show you how serious we are about letting you go from our group.
Miss M: Maybe I don't want to be a part of this group anymore.
Dragon Queen: Quiet Wild One. (looks at Miss M) It's rather simple. Kill She-Ra or we find a way to destroy that man you were staying with, and his old butler too.
Miss M: (lies) I don't care what you do to him. He's just some rich dude I was using.
Dragon Queen: Something strange has happened to you Moth Lady. You used to be more evil. Now you can't even lie right. I know that man, Bruce Wayne, was your friend. I always told you being friends with men would be your undoing.
Dragon Queen: Fine. I will. After you agree to help kill She-Ra.
Miss M: (panics) Fine. I'll help kill her.
Back to the present...
Miss M: Nothing. Well. I was just wondering how I am going to eat here. The food here will just wreak havoc on my thighs.
April: Invest in a good fluffy yellow jumpsuit. Now let's get down to business.
April: I no longer have my office. Some stupid tart named Mila Rosnovsky took my office from me.
Miss M: What?
April: It's a long story. Needless to say, I am no longer in control of Diary of a Dorkette. So, we are doing guerrilla journalism at Dairy Queen.
Miss M: Is that even a thing?
Miss M: Got it.
April: All right. So who would you like to interview? Any ideas?
Miss M: Yes. I was thinking of talking with Flutterina.
Miss M: Flutterina. She's a friend of She-Ra. She's like a look out for the Great Rebellion.
April: Never heard of her.
Miss M: She's really popular with the older set. She'll bring in big numbers.
Miss M: Oh yeah. I'm Moth Lady. Duh.
April: (looks strangely) You are a weird woman.
Guy Friday: Something seems fishy to me. April O'Neil had Megan Fox locked in that dungeon for some weird reason.
Irma: You know that April gets paranoid at anyone younger than her.
Guy Friday: Yeah, but it's almost like, who let's two dorky people stay in their Malibu home no strings attached?
Irma: Come over and kiss me, ya big lug!
Guy Friday: Hold on, kisses can wait. We really need to know what our plan is. We can't stay here forever. I also can't believe we've been making out for days. I've wanted this moment to happen for a long time now.
Irma: Who knew we'd be such a great pairing? I think it's the Malibu air. I feel like this is a torrid soap opera romance. I never want it to end.
Back to reality...
September 2014 Woman of Wonderosity!
Miss M: How could we not? You have pretty wings and you wield a sword. Plus that hair! I think if 2014 can be remembered for anything, it is the trend of good hair. Lots of great hair on so many lovely toys.
Miss M: Totally. I can see why people would be jealous of you. It's hard to get the perfect dyed shade of purple. So, do you know where your friend She-Ra is at?
Flutterina: Ok. That's random.
Miss M: Well not really. Word in the Whispering Woods is that she's been in hiding lately and I was just wondering where she is hiding. We go way back.
Miss M: Your wings look like fondant icing. Say, if I were to order a special cake for She-Ra, where do you think I'd need to have it delivered?
Flutterina: She's the Princess of Power, she'll be ok.
Miss M: Right, very true. Are the rumors true that you are dating Clamp Champ?
Flutterina: Oh that's a shock. I wasn't expecting to be addressing that topic. I thought you'd be more interested in my environmental efforts to help save insects or my new work out DVD called the Butterfly Effect.
Miss M: Yeah, those things sound nice and all, but really your fans just want to know if you are dating Clamp Champ.
Flutterina: It's possible. I'm a single lady and I rather enjoy seeing what is out there. Clamp Champ is a very handsome man.
Flutterina: I don't understand what that has to do with my interview.
Miss M: Look, let me reason with you girl to girl. I need to find She-Ra. It's a grave matter, so if you tell me where she is, I'll donate like a thousand monarch butterflies to the Insectorium on Vine and 5th.
Flutterina: You would really do that?
Flutterina: Well following the problems with her relationship with Bow and the kiss shared with Sea Hawk, She-Ra had a meeting with other female super heroes and then went on a mini vacay to the Crystal Castle. She said that place helps her think. She's also alone.
September 2014 Woman of Wonderosity!
To be continued...