Well, Total Darkness is over. I thought that crap would never end. My goodness! The world seems to be going back to normal though. I'm still stuck in the body of Moth Lady, a villain from the 80's. Michelangelo is smitten with Mona Lisa and has no intention of even realizing that I am the one and only Miss M. I've been avoiding Batman, which sucks because I kinda live at his mansion. Or Bruce Wayne's mansion. Or whatever the politically correct name is. Having a secret super hero identity has got to be exhausting. I don't even know how they all do it. Like, no matter how hard I try to reveal my true self, no one cares. Yet somehow Bruce Wayne dons a dingy looking suit with a cape he washes with Woolite for dark colors, and all of a sudden he has to keep things a secret? Like, why? He doesn't even have a girlfriend who would be put in danger. Oh I digress Diary.
I'm just glad Splinter is safe and sound. He is alive, so I can't complain. And hey, I might actually have a new job! Well, it's my old job. I got a call from April O'Neil and she asked for me to stop by my former house to visit with her. She said something about needing help at the Diary of a Dorkette office. Isn't it funny how things can come full circle? I guess.
Leonardo: Yeah. Is there more to the story though April? You seem really shifty, which is unlike you.
Leonardo: What did you do?
April: I may have trapped someone in a dungeon like in Silence of the Lambs.
April: I can't tell you that. But I'm worried, because Irma and Guy Friday may have stumbled upon my... guest... and now all three are nowhere to be found.
Leonardo: April! You're one of the good guys. You are better than this.
April: Excuse me?
Miss M: Nothing.
Back at Miss M's home...
Leonardo: I guess.
In other parts of town...
Bruce Wayne: Where have you been? I've seen your unmade bed, so I know you have been here, but I haven't spoken to you since Total Darkness. I feel like you are avoiding me.
Miss M: I haven't been trying to do that. I've just been busy.
Miss M: I got a writing job.
Bruce Wayne: That's nice.
Miss M: Yep. I was just as surprised as you right now.
Bruce Wayne: Nice. Well, we should celebrate. I can get us reservations for Tres Bliss tonight.
Miss M: Oh. That place is fancy. I don't know. I was actually planning on leaving.
Bruce Wayne: What do you mean?
Bruce Wayne: I don't mind you staying here. I actually quite like it. This is a big house, I can handle you staying here.
Bruce Wayne: I know. You love a talking turtle.
Miss M: I'm not most girls.
Bruce Wayne: (sighs) I know.
Bruce Wayne: Anytime. Oh, and by the way, what happened when Maleficent took you to the After Life during Total Darkness?
Down on Main Street...
Mila: You're right. I don't work for Channel 6. I own Channel 6.
Mila: Oh but it is. I struck a deal to buy out the owners of Channel 6 News. And now I own you, and your little Diary too.
April: Not possible. I have the majority of shares of the Diary. I still run that sub section of Channel 6.
Mila: Come now April, you're an investigative reporter, use that brain.
April: (realizations begin to dawn on her) You stole my documents! It was you! Those were important files!
Mila: There is no need for you to be concerned with my plans. Oh, and as for my annoying slang from before... all an act. Never trust a rich white blond. We'll get ya every time.
April: This is impossible!
Megan Fox: I just did.
Mila: Here nu-April, I pass the torch to you...
Miss M: No. Stop. I can't deal with anymore warnings. Haven't we been through enough in August? No. No more.
Unknown to Miss M, a couple new guests arrive...
Miss M: Uuhhh.
Miss M: What?
Wild One: Finally. We thought you were dead.
Wild One: We're here because we need you. Right Dragon Lady?
Miss M: Oh... well... I've kinda liked it here. Homeless. Under a bridge.
To be continued!
September 2014: Bodacious Baddie!