So apparently living at Wayne Manor is the best thing ever. Alfred makes amazing breakfast. His egg-less omelets are perfect for a girl like me that loathes eggs. I didn't even think an omelet could be egg-less! And Bruce, well, Bruce is a real peach. I mean who knew Batman could be such a gentleman?! I've gone from the After Life, to living under a bridge with a roach, to now guest staying at the Wayne Manor! And Diary, I think I might actually tell him the truth. The whole truth and nothing but. I feel like he would believe my crazy journey and understand that I am trapped in the wrong body. He is willing to give me a chance and that's all I've ever asked for. My goodness, it was only a few days ago that I was ready to just jump off a bridge and end it all. Now I have hope. And I have Batman to thank. Of all people! Anyways Diary, I have to get going. I can smell breakfast cooking and it smells divine!
Miss M: I don't know about all of that, but I am feeling better. More hopeful.
Bruce: Good. What are your plans for the day?
Bruce: Interesting. I do the same thing actually. Having Alfred around has helped with my diet. His cooking is superb. I would stick around for the cooking lesson, but I have some meetings today.
Miss M: Oh. Like big wheelin' and dealin' meetings? Like rich business guy stuff huh?
Miss M: When you get back, I'd like to talk to you about some personal things. If that's ok?
Bruce: Of course. I would like that very much.
Meanwhile in a posh apartment...
As she tries to find some snacks, Black Cat soon gets a visitor! Why, it's the friendly neighborhood...
May 2014 Heroic Hottie!
Spider-Man: That's a tricky question. I was just swinging by. I've actually got to head off in a minute. I'm going to be interviewed for some blog called the Diary of a Dorkette.
Black Cat: How cool! You're going to be a Heroic Hottie?
Spider-Man: I think so. What does that mean?
Black Cat: It means you're hot. Silly.
Spider-Man: Heaven forbid they get that wrong.
Spider-Man: Your wall?
Black Cat: Is that a problem?
Spider-Man: Can I just ask you, do they ever get cold?
Black Cat: My walls?
Spider-Man: The kittens.
Black Cat: Well, I do know a way they could stay warm...
Black Cat: Are you going to help me with my wall?
Black Cat: Good. I need this picture hung. On my wall. Think you can handle that?
Black Cat: (looks innocent) I plan on returning it...
Meanwhile at the offices of Diary of a Dorkette...
Irma: Yeah. The May 2014 Heroic Hottie was supposed to be here already.
April: Oh come on! Your liver is like the Wolverine of organs. It'll be just fine.
Irma: I don't think it works like that.
April: Don't worry. We'll get you a virgin. Drink. A virgin drink.
Bruce Wayne: I'm here to talk to you about your friend Miss M.
April: (pauses slightly) Why would you want to talk to me about her?
Bruce: Because she is staying with me at my manor. I'm worried about her state of mind.
Bruce: Excuse me?
April: Miss M died last December in an explosion in the Turtle Sewer Lair. She was a damn good journalist too.
April: Maybe she's just acting out? I don't understand why you'd open your door to her.
Bruce: I don't know. Something about this woman strikes me. I just didn't know that Miss M was dead.
April: Mr. Wayne, if I were you, I'd kick that woman out of your house. There is no good that could come from her.
Bruce: I'll take your word for it. Listen, is there anyone else who really knew Miss M when she was alive?
Bruce: Great. Thanks.
Meanwhile back to Black Cat's posh apartment...
Spider-Man: Or you could have gotten a 3M hook and called it a day.
Black Cat: Now where would the fun have been in that? Hmm?
Spider-Man: My spidey senses are tingling.
Spider-Man: Now you know we can't do this.
Black Cat: Come on! (bats her eyes seductively) You know we have so much fun together.
Spider-Man: Not like this. You know my position on this Felicia. I'm more than this costume.
Black Cat: Which is why you should take it off. Get more comfortable.
Black Cat: Now where's the fun in that?
Spider-Man: It's not always fun Felicia. Why can't we have a serious conversation about us?
Spider-Man: You know we aren't together right now.
Black Cat: So you think I don't know why you came swinging by? Come on darling. I know what my role is in this tale.
Spider-Man: And what role is that?
Spider-Man: I wish you could see what I see. You are so much more than just some kittens in a jumpsuit.
Black Cat: All this from a man in a skin tight costume. We all hide behind things Peter.
Black Cat: You think I have a heart? And that I do the right thing?
Black Cat: I plan on returning it!
Spider-Man: See what I mean? You do have a heart.
Spider-Man: Neither am I. We both have miserable track records.
Black Cat: And we rely on costumes a little too much.
Spider-Man: Are you saying you'd actually give dating the real me a chance?
Black Cat: I don't know what I'm saying.
They both look at each other longingly...
Spider-Man: (feels defeated) Oh. Yeah. I've heard of that place.
Black Cat: Besides, you're late for your interview.
Spider-Man: I guess I am. Just promise me you'll be careful.
Black Cat: Sure thing. Now would you go already, I have no more use for you.
Spider-Man: Nah, you'll always have a use for me.
Black Cat: Trust me, I can handle plenty of things on my own.
Spider-Man: Sure, like hanging stuff on your wall. (shakes his head) I'll talk to you later.
Black Cat: Would you go already!
Meanwhile at Wayne Manor...
Miss M: I don't understand, why is this your concern?
April: It concerns me when people pretend to be my dead friend.
April: Shut up! You are a crackpot!
Miss M: (feels Moth Lady unraveling in their shared mind) I think you need to leave.
April: This isn't your mansion. You are not the lady of the manor bitch!
In a fit of exhaustion, Miss M looses her guard and Moth Lady regains control of her body.
Moth Lady: I'm free. Welcome to the sound of freedom, and I'm ready to let it ring!
Meanwhile at Miss M's old house...
Bruce: You can call me Bruce. I wanted to ask about your girlfriend Miss M.
Michelangelo: Dude, why would you kick a bro down like that? Can't you see that I'm, like, totally grieving?
Bruce: I mean no offense. It's just that I am trying to learn more about her. Someone I know was personally affected by her loss.
Bruce: Did she ever have any enemies? Someone that would want to steal her life?
Michelangelo: That's a gnarly question to ask. I think you should totally leave rich white dude.
April: Mr. Wayne?
Bruce: April O'Neil? Why are you on my phone?
April: I think you need to come home. Quickly. Something has happened...
Meanwhile back at the Diary of a Dorkette office...
Spider-Man: Yeah, things get tough being a super hero, yada yada. I was swinging from the roof tops. You know the drill.
Spider-Man: (thinks of a special someone) I sure hope she does...
May 2014 Heroic Hottie!
But wait! There's one more extra scene!
April: Look, I had my reasons. I came to confront the lady pretending to be my friend. Something happened, something went terribly wrong.
April: They took him to the hospital. He was wounded by the Moth Lady.
Bruce: I don't get it, she seemed so calm. Where is she?
Bruce: Is she at the precinct?
Find out what happens next when Miss M enters Arkham Asylum!