I'm having to write this entry in chalk on the bathroom floor of my padded room. I'm locked up in Arkham Asylum and they won't give me any writing utensils. I don't even know where I should begin. My heart aches for Alfred. I can only hope I have not hurt him. Well, it was not really me, it was Moth Lady. She regained control of her body and I slipped away. But only for a few moments! I feel her slipping into control more often now. Oh Diary, I am so scared she will regain her consciousness. And then what will become of me? I can't cease to exist! My story is only just beginning! There's so much I want to do still. Instead I got shipped to Arkham Asylum. Oh Diary. It's pretty bad. The people who have rooms on my hall are... interesting. I just want to go home. I don't know how much longer I can take it inside... Arkham Asylum!!!
Harley Quinn: Nah, it isn't a loss for me. Mistah J is a real gas. He likes to treat crime like a laugh track. The coppers won't get us this time.
Harley Quinn: Because we've taken a liking to ya Crimp.That's my new name for you with all that crimped hair of yours.
Miss M: I get it. And for the last time, my name is Miss M. Or M if you are feeling lazy.
Harley Quinn: Yeah! Us bad girls gotta stick together! Right Red?
Poison Ivy: Positively darling.
Miss M: But I'm not a bad girl! I'm one of the good guys.
Poison Ivy: You don't look like a good guy. (both ladies hop off M's bed)
Miss M: I'm not a villain!
Poison Ivy: It's ok darling. Some of us take a little longer to accept our true colors, but when we do, that is when we begin to fully bloom.
Harley Quinn: Ohh! Bring me back some Baby Cakes, ok Crimp! That frosting is so good. (looks sad) Mistah J liked to stay up eating those treats when we were together. I miss him so much.
Poison Ivy: Le sigh.
May 2014 Woman of Wonderosity!
Miss M: Oh my goodness! I have been looking all over for you! For months! I thought you were dead.
Jean Grey: No, I've been alive this whole time. After working with Grant Morrison, Marvel wanted to put me on suspended hiatus. They said I needed to go on vacation. Apparently they were concerned that I wasn't going to have much story. After being without work for so long and realizing that the powers-that-be thought my ghost was a better direction for my character, I had a break from reality. I nearly went all Dark Phoenix on the world, especially after I found out they were bringing me back, but as my younger self from the past. I just couldn't deal, ya know?
Miss M: I know exactly what you mean. Life has been real messy.
Jean Grey: Right!? Anyways, a friend told me that Arkham Asylum had a special program for people wanting just a slight rejuvenation on life. I mean, nothing like the floor for the criminally insane, but just an out patient relaxation spot. There are so many interesting aspects to this asylum that the general public has no idea about. There's even a mall in the basement, like full on Barbra Streisand mall in the basement. Anyways, I've been treating my time here like a getaway. With bars on the windows.
Miss M: Oh wow. So, what are you doing on the criminally insane floor?
Miss M: I've been told that. I might have to try some.
Jean Grey: What's your name?
Miss M: I'm Miss M.
Jean Grey: Wait a minute. I had a friend named Miss M.
Miss M: It's me Jean.
Miss M: Died? Yeah, since when has that stopped anyone we know?
Jean Grey: Ok. Good point. But you look nothing like my friend.
Miss M: Look, I could explain, but I won't. Instead, read my mind. I have been waiting to come across a telepath!
Jean Grey: Oh my goodness! It is really you! Oh Miss M, you poor thing!Miss M: You know now. Someone understands. Oh I could just collapse into your arms in a fit of sobs. I am so thankful for mutants.
Miss M: I know. Moth Lady. She's dangerous and threatens me at every chance she gets to regain control of her body.
Jean Grey: Maybe I could help.
Miss M: How?
Jean Grey: Since we don't know how much longer you have in this body, I could temporarily meld both your minds together and leave you as the dominant presence.
Miss M: That makes my head hurt.
Jean Grey: And it will hurt M. Essentially you'd be cramming her whole life with your life. That's a lot of memories and experiences. Do you think you'd be up for taking on Moth Lady's past demons?
Miss M: I'd do anything if it meant I wouldn't have to worry about her gaining control and hurting another person. I don't think I could live with that. I have to ask though, will this change who I am? By taking on her mind, will I become evil?
Jean Grey: I don't know. You could very well open yourself to the darker aspects of life, but I know you. Your heart is pure. No matter what, your heart has always been pure.
Miss M: Ok. Fine. Let's do this.
Jean Grey: All right. Stand still.
Inside the mind of Moth Lady...
Moth Lady: But this is my body!!! Mine!!! You can't control my body!!!!
Moth Lady screams as a streak of psychic energy zaps through her rendering her unconscious.
Miss M: (stands very still) Moth Lady? Are you there? Moth Lady? (realizes she is safe) Oh wow. I'm so sorry it had to end this way, but, I have to fix this. I can't have you getting in the way of things.
Back to the real world...
Miss M: Now we just need you to tell everyone that you read my mind and that I am who I say I am.
Jean Grey: I can't do that.
Miss M: Why not? Your approval could get everyone I know and love to see that I indeed came back to life.
Miss M: I like this look. It's a very iconic piece.
Jean Grey: Oh my dear dorky friend. I look like the worst part of the 90's.
Miss M: Trust me Jean, there were plenty of worse looks from the 90's.
Miss M: Oh, ok. Sure. Will we get to hang out again? I'm not really sure how long I will be here.
Jean Grey: Of course! My goodness, you're alive! Trust me, you get used to coming back from the dead. Although, I never had to deal with swapped bodies. You should maybe talk to Psylocke about that topic.
Miss M: That makes perfect sense. Talk to you later Jean!
Jean Grey: Farewell Miss M!
May 2014 Woman of Wonderosity!
But wait, there's more!
Miss M: (braces against a wall) Ohhh I don't feel so good. All these memories and all that evil, it's making my head spin. I feel so queasy.
Suddenly a voice cheerfully calls out.
Miss M: Like a piece of glitter or confetti?
Miss M: Are you real?
Pinky Pie: I'm real in Ponyville.
Miss M: You know something! More than you let on. What are you doing here?
Miss M: Wait. Like, my spirit pony or Moth Lady's spirit pony? I'm confused.
Pinky Pie: I'm your spirit pony Miss M. The real you, not this old grody Moth Lady.
Miss M: What does a spirit pony do?
Miss M: Where were you when I was in my old body? This is the first I've ever heard of this.
Pinky Pie: Oh I don't know. Maybe I was planning a party with lots of confetti.
Miss M: That's one long party!
Pinky Pie: I know. I plan the best parties!
Miss M: Ok. So does this mean you aren't in party season right now, because I have been seeing you a lot lately.
Pinky Pie: I'm here because you are in grave danger.
Miss M: That never sounds good.
Pinky Pie: Oh it totally isn't. You're right. Danger is around every turn. (whispers loudly) You are in a building with a lot of baddies!
Miss M: I know.
Miss M: Huh?
Miss M: Oh what do you want!? You can leave me the heck alone. You tricked me!
Maleficent: I did no such thing.
Miss M: Hello! You said you'd bring me back to life, but you failed to tell me I'd be in the wrong body!
Miss M: Whatever. How do I get back to my old body?
Maleficent: And it was I that did not trust you. For which I am terribly sorry. Now let's finish these games. Go out and find me what I seek.
Miss M: Why can't you find it yourself?
Oh must you be so coy. I am still in the After Life. You are seeing me by mere magic and my powers aren't strong enough to keep this up for long. It has to be you Miss M. You'll find the dragon and then everything will make sense.
Miss M: Ok fine. There's just one other problem.
Maleficent: Of course there is. There's always a problem with you.
Maleficent: (grins) Don't worry about that. There's enough unrest in these halls that you should be getting out real soon. I can assure you.
Miss M: Oh. That sounds... scary.
End May with one final interview! All kinds of chaos unfolds with the May 2014 Bodacious Baddie!!!