June 2014 Bodacious Baddie!

Dear Diary,

It's been a minute since Batman was nearly killed at the hands of the Roach. I've been playing nurse. That sounds much sexier than it really is. I had to help Bruce stitch the gaping wound on his stomach. There was blood and guts everywhere. Luckily there are no pictures to chronicle this grody moment in my life because I have been trying to forget it. Also, Bruce is a nice patient. He sits around and reads the paper. I bring him food and regale him with tales from my life in my old body. He acts funny whenever I talk about my love for Michelangelo. I guess he has problems with a girl falling for a Ninja Turtle. Had someone told my younger self that I'd be madly in love with a Ninja Turtle I would have scoffed, but like I always say, the heart wants what the heart wants. Anyways, I need to get back to helping Bruce. Alfred is still in the hospital and there is a lot of work to be done. Of course, before my work, Bruce and I are going to listen to our favorite radio show After Dark, hosted by Sydney Rutledge! (editor's note: Sydney is none other than the Swans Crossing rival of Mila! Readers will remember that Mila is annoying and is sisters with the vile Velvet Sky!) Anyways, I am off again Diary.

-Miss M

Miss M: Feeling comfortable Bruce?

Bruce Wayne: Sure.

Miss M: Ok good. Let's listen in for some more After Dark...

Across the radios and through the airwaves everywhere, a voice calls out from her office. Sydney Rutledge returns to her conversation for all the listeners in the city...

Sydney: Hello everyone, and welcome back. I am your host Sydney Rutledge, and you are listening to After Dark. We just finished listening to Kenny G performing an unheard of hit called Murder in the F Key. A song appropriate for the current status of fear that is gripping this city.

Sydney: It has been but a few days since the dramatic lock down at Arkham Asylum where many of the residents were set free by the self described clown prince of crime: the Joker. As of this time, an exact number of the escaped residents are not exactly numbered. The city is gripped with fear as the criminally insane are running loose, all this just a mere few weeks before the Conference of Evil is set to take place. Mayor Quimby has been approached for an answer regarding the potential cancellation of the Conference of Evil, as there is no telling what could possibly occur. Citizens of this great city are urged to contact political representatives to request an end to the Conference before anyone gets hurt...

Meanwhile, at the home of a faithful listener...

April: (listening on her laptop in bed) My goodness, has the city gone mad? How could this city host the Conference of Evil, again? My goodness, I am so done with this town. I need to move to Canada. This kind of mess does not go on over there.
Casey: Hon, are you almost done with work yet? You've been working well into the night.
April: I'm almost finished. I'm doing the finishing touches for the Heroic Hottie feature for the Diary.
Casey: Who is making the cut this month?
April: Oh, you wouldn't really know him. Now be quiet, I'm trying to listen to more After Dark.

Casey: How can you even listen to that show? It's always doom and gloom.
April: Look, ever since that half wit Mila Rosnovsky was working for me and I had to hear over and over how much she hates Sydney, I've simply taken an interest in who this Sydney is exactly. Her show isn't that bad actually.
Casey: How much has the Diary been covering this Arkham outbreak?
April: There hasn't been much to go on. No one has seen or heard from the Joker. There haven't been any reports of an increase in crime. I have to say though, the fear in this city, it reminds me of the time when we were younger. Remember when the Foot had everyone terrified? You couldn't go anywhere at night.
Casey: I remember. Hey, that moment in history was how we met if I recall correctly.

April: Oh goodness. There are many twists and turns to the story of how we first met.
Casey: Yep, but the way I recall it, it was love at first sight.
April: Oh please! You speak way too highly of yourself.
Casey: Oh I do huh?

April: Let me just refresh your memory. We were in high school and didn't know each other at all, but Miss M was there, my dear friend and confidant...

A quick trip to the past, when April and Miss M were in high school...

Casey: Hey, wait a second, I don't remember M having brown eyes. Weren't her eyes blue?
April: Yes her eyes were blue, but it was junior year and she had a crush on that guy Fritz who was obsessed with the oldies. She got brown contacts to be that pretty brown eyed girl, ya know, the one from that song.
Casey: Didn't Fritz end up marrying a guy?
April: Yes, M was always falling for unattainable guys. But that's not the point! Can I please tell the story? It was high school, and M and I were seeking adventure...

April: So, you're coming with me tonight, right?
Miss M: Do I really have to?
April: Yes M! Come on already, we'll be just fine.

Miss M: I just don't see why we can't go to the mall instead. They are having a huge sale at Contempo Casuals, and I think we should be like every other girl in high school and shop and then eat away at our vapid lives in the food court. Cute guys live in the food court April.
April: I can't with you right now. We are not those girls. You read comics!

Miss M: (looks around the class) Stop! Don't say that loudly. I don't want anyone to hear.
April: M, everyone knows you read comics.
Miss M: I know, but I want to go to Becky Bibby's house party this weekend. Fritz is going to be playing with his rock band. Everyone thinks he is so cool. No one thinks the dork girl with her comics is cool. So as of right now, I am a closet comic reader. I want to be cool April.

April: We are cool, because we don't care about that crap. Now come on! The Contempo sale is going on for a week. Tonight is the night that we actually break the news! We are going to find the scoop on who is behind this scary Foot gang.
Miss M: Can't we just have the Turtles figure it out?

April: (looks around) Would you be quiet! No one is supposed to know about the Turtle issue.
Miss M: Guess we're just all full of secrets, huh? High school is a nightmare.
April: I know. But just think, if we can crack this story tonight, than I'll have the perfect platform to get into the coolest university for journalistic integrity and you'll get into college and become an actress and we'll finally get to live the perfect lives! Life is not going to end here for us M. Can you just imagine how cool we'll be as adults?
Miss M: Totally. You'll be bitter and jaded, probably on your second marriage, and I'll probably have bad hair.

April: I'm never getting married M. Love only messes things up. I'm going to be a reporter and I'm going to tell stories. The world is not ready for April O'Neil! Now, I'll pick you up later on tonight?
Miss M: Sure. Do we want to invite Irma?
April: No, Irma is really wanting to study for some computer exam. Let's just have this be us, ok?

Miss M: Fine.

Later on that night...

Miss M: (looks nervous) Do we really have to go to the sewer? I'm wearing new shoes!

April: You went to the Contempo Casuals sale, didn't you?

Miss M: Maybe. (looks guilty) Ok, so I skipped last period and went to the mall. So sue me! It's not like I missed anything from Algebra I Part 2 anyway.
April: (sighs) Oh M. You should have stayed, I heard Fritz was asking for you.

Miss M: He was!? Really? Me? What did he want?
April: Something about wanting to borrow some scarves for a gig. I don't know.
Miss M: Oh my goodness. I love him.

April: You hardly know him. Come on.
Miss M: Ya know, I think we should get our Turtle friends involved in this. April, this is dangerous!
April: We can handle this on our own just fine. Besides, I don't want to be disturbing Donatello. He has been tinkering on a new device.

Miss M: You like him, don't you?
April: You are making my head hurt. Donatello is just a friend.

Miss M: (turns to hear a strange noise, but can still talk about boys) I think you both have crushes on each other.

April: Maybe we do. So what?

Miss M: (rushes after April) So what?! April! Eww! That's grody! You can't crush on a Ninja Turtle! They have half shells.
April: You shouldn't be like that. Watch, you'll end up falling in love with a Ninja Turtle one day.

Miss M: Eww! Are you serious? No way. I would never date a Ninja Turtle. Grody.
April: Some friend of the Turtles you are.

Miss M: Hey, I am totally friends with those turtles! Michelangelo let me borrow some of his comics. The turtles are cool, I just don't think they are dating material, ya know?

April walks ahead a few steps.

Miss M: Besides, wouldn't it be illegal to date a Ninja Turtle? And which one would I even date anyway? Donatello is too smart. Raphael has a smart mouth. Leonardo is stuffy. And Michelangelo, well, he's...

Miss M: April? Are you there? Where'd you go? April! You aren't even listening to me!

Miss M: April! We were talking about the Ninja Turtles...
April: Would you be quiet! Look!

Miss M: What is going on?

April: I don't know, but something seems fishy. Those are members of the Foot. The one with the spikes, I think he is the leader. They call him Shredder.
Miss M: Wow. April, do you think that material breathes?

April: Shh! Be quiet. I can't hear what they are saying.
Miss M: That robot thing has a talking stomach.

April: That's not a stomach, it looks like a brain.

Miss M: Eww! Grody! Who has a brain for a stomach?
April: I just need to get closer.
Miss M: April, stop!
April: What in the world?
Miss M: Oh April, we are not supposed to be here.

April: Who is he?

Miss M: (tugs on her friend) Come on, let's go.
April: No, just a few steps closer...
Miss M: April!

The two bump into a garbage can. As they duck, they make a noise startling the...

June 2014 Bodacious Baddie!

Shredder: What was that?
Krang: I heard it too. Is someone there?
Shredder: Probably Bebop or Rocksteady. Bumbling fools. Let us get back to our discussion at hand. I want this city in the palm of my hand.

Krang: And you will, but first we need the cash to float us up, up, and away.

Shredder: (looks back) Where are they?
Krang: Who?
Shredder: Bebop and Rocksteady. If that wasn't them... Hold on.

Miss M: Oh crapola! April, that scary dude is totally coming over to us!

April: Shh. Don't say a word. He won't spot us.

Foot Soldier: But I just did. Now get up.

April and Miss M look at each other in fear.

Miss M: I guess we won't be making the Contempo Casuals sale. Ever.
April: Just be quiet.

Seconds later...

Shredder: What is this? Why are you bringing me two young girls Foot Soldier?
Foot Soldier: They were sneaking around Shredder.

Shredder: So you were the two making the noise?
April: Yeah, so?

Miss M: We were just looking for the mall. We got totally lost.
Shredder: Is that so?
Miss M: Yeah. We'll just be on our way, right April? (April is silent)
Shredder: Interesting.

Krang: (agitated) Dispose of them Shredder and let's go about our business!

Shredder: (looks at the girls) I have a daughter a little younger than you two. The difference is that she is at home, safe and sound. Young girls shouldn't be prowling the streets at night. Bad things happen. You understand...

April: I understand plenty. And if you think you can lay a hand on us, you've got another thing coming! No one is snuffing us out! (strikes a mean battle pose as she prepares for a fight against Shredder)

Miss M: You carry weapons now?!
April: Let us go, and no one gets hurt.
Shredder: Little girl, I could have you flayed open in a matter of seconds.
April: It doesn't matter. You weirdos are behind this city falling into ruin. And I'm gonna stop you!

Krang: (sighs) Shredder, I'm leaving. We'll discuss business soon. Take care of this riff raff!
Miss M: Gulp. April, this is a bit beyond our grade level.
April: Stand strong M. Remember, what would She-Ra do?
Miss M: She'd summon the powers of Grayskull and be done with this. I can't summon the powers of anything! I freak out when I see roaches. April, let's get out of here!
April: There's no going back M. It's either do or die. So let's do; let's kick their grimy butts!

April jumps into a brawl with Shredder. Miss M screams and manages to fight off a Foot Soldier.

Miss M: Oh crap. These are new shoes! (kicks Foot Soldier in the head) Stupid Foot Soldier!

Shredder: You fight rather well. I am impressed. Where did you learn these skills?
April: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Shredder: Splinter...

April: I've learned a thing or two from numerous people.

Shredder: Tell me where he is! Where is Splinter!

April: Get away from me!

Shredder: I am done with this! (calls for help) FOOT!

Numerous Foot Soldiers begin to arrive...

April and Miss M soon find themselves highly outnumbered.

Miss M: Ok, so maybe we can kick some butt. But April, we are outnumbered. I know I'm on the extended track with Algebra, but even I know the odds are against us.

April: This has nothing to do with numbers. We'll get through this!

As April readies for more fighting, a lone figure jumps next to them.

Miss M: (screams in surprise) Who are you?! You can't just do that to people!

Mystery Man: I don't like unfair fights. Need a hand?
April: We got this.
Mystery Man: Oh I know you do. I just like kicking butt too.

Mystery Man charges into a fight. April stands still in a daze.

April: (lost and feeling funny) Who is he?
Miss M: No time for that, let's help him! That's what you wanted to do right? Stop these goons!

A mini battle commences.

And soon ends.

Miss M: That's right! Run off! Go shred some cheese Shredder because you just got schooled by teens! In shoes from Contempo Casuals no less! Ha!
April: Great. Now he knows where we shop.

Miss M: (looks towards the Mystery Man) Oh, April, he's walking this way.

April: Wow. That was something else. Hi. Who are you?

Mystery Man: You can call me Jones.

Miss M: Like Indiana Jones?

Jones: No, just Jones. It's a... nick name.
April: Yeah, well, you fight pretty well.

Jones: I could say the same for you. (looks over at M) Even you too, though I have to admit, I for sure thought they were going to kill you.
Miss M: Gee. Thanks.
Jones: What were you two doing here?

April: Trying to stop them.
Jones: Me too. I've been spying on them for months. They caused a shoot out in my neighborhood. Some people got hurt. I want them to pay.

April: I can imagine. Maybe we could work together?

Jones: Nah, I tend to work alone. But if I ever see you out here again, I don't mind helping to rough up some Foot. See you girls later.

And just like that he is gone. April stares off into space.

Miss M: Earth to April! Come in April!

April: What?
Miss M: Where were you just now?
April: I don't even know. I just felt so funny, like all I want to do is smile right now. And I don't even know why.

Miss M: (grins) You have a boyfriend. You totally like that guy with the creepy hockey mask on his face! He has a really creepy mask on his face right? Like, beyond Jason Vorhees territory, and you like him!

April: Shut up M! I do not. Come on, let's get out of here. My dad is working late, can I stay the night with you?

Miss M: Sure. My mom got some bubblegum ice cream from Baskin Robbins. We'll eat snacks and luxuriate with cucumbers on our eyes.

April: We are too young for that. Come on, let's go. Wait till the Turtles hear about this.
Miss M: I know! Especially Donatello when he finds out you have a boyfriend!

April: I do not have a boyfriend!

Back to the present...

Casey: See April, it was love at first sight.
April: No. More like curiosity spiked with a bit of lust. No, no, no. It took a little longer before it became true love. You know the dramas we went through.
Casey: Yeah, I remember. But I still think there was that spark then. You just don't want to admit it.
April: (rolls her eyes) Anyways. It's late. I need to get to the office early tomorrow. Good night.
Casey: (chuckles to himself) Good night April.

April: (whispers) Casey?
Casey: Yeah?

April: I love you.

Casey: I love you too.

Meanwhile...

Shredder: Dr. Blight! Dr. Blight!
Dr. Blight: What is it Shredder?

Shredder: Where is the Mutagen Man? We have plans to attend to, and he is not here.
Dr. Blight: He has not been very cooperative. There has been a bit of a problem with some of his readings regarding a woman.

Shredder: What?

Dr. Blight: Exactly. He is searching for who he thinks is his true love, some woman named Miss M. He thought she died, but apparently he saw a spike with her life force signature on it. Now he is looking for her.
Shredder: Good Lord. That dorky woman is dead. And good riddance too. She has always been a pain in the... Wait a second? Did he say when he'd be back?

Dr. Blight: Not exactly. That's the problem. If we are going to enact our plan, we will need his knowledge to help.
Shredder: Find me the Mutagen Man. I am not about to lose what I have so long fought for: control of this city. Go. Now!

Dr. Blight: Yes, Shredder. As you wish. (Dr. Blight exits, stage left)
Shredder: In the mean time, I will be making a visit to see Mayor Quimby. The Conference of Evil is still going to go on, and no concerned citizens will try and stop it!

June 2014 Bodacious Baddie!

We're getting ever closer to July and the Conference of Evil! Stick around though, as there is one last story for June! For those participating in the one shot stories, get ready! I'll be sending out emails with rules and guidelines very soon! Take care everyone.