It's been a minute since Batman was nearly killed at the hands of the Roach. I've been playing nurse. That sounds much sexier than it really is. I had to help Bruce stitch the gaping wound on his stomach. There was blood and guts everywhere. Luckily there are no pictures to chronicle this grody moment in my life because I have been trying to forget it. Also, Bruce is a nice patient. He sits around and reads the paper. I bring him food and regale him with tales from my life in my old body. He acts funny whenever I talk about my love for Michelangelo. I guess he has problems with a girl falling for a Ninja Turtle. Had someone told my younger self that I'd be madly in love with a Ninja Turtle I would have scoffed, but like I always say, the heart wants what the heart wants. Anyways, I need to get back to helping Bruce. Alfred is still in the hospital and there is a lot of work to be done. Of course, before my work, Bruce and I are going to listen to our favorite radio show After Dark, hosted by Sydney Rutledge! (editor's note: Sydney is none other than the Swans Crossing rival of Mila! Readers will remember that Mila is annoying and is sisters with the vile Velvet Sky!) Anyways, I am off again Diary.
Meanwhile, at the home of a faithful listener...
Casey: Hon, are you almost done with work yet? You've been working well into the night.
April: I'm almost finished. I'm doing the finishing touches for the Heroic Hottie feature for the Diary.
Casey: Who is making the cut this month?
April: Oh, you wouldn't really know him. Now be quiet, I'm trying to listen to more After Dark.
April: Look, ever since that half wit Mila Rosnovsky was working for me and I had to hear over and over how much she hates Sydney, I've simply taken an interest in who this Sydney is exactly. Her show isn't that bad actually.
Casey: How much has the Diary been covering this Arkham outbreak?
April: There hasn't been much to go on. No one has seen or heard from the Joker. There haven't been any reports of an increase in crime. I have to say though, the fear in this city, it reminds me of the time when we were younger. Remember when the Foot had everyone terrified? You couldn't go anywhere at night.
Casey: I remember. Hey, that moment in history was how we met if I recall correctly.
Casey: Yep, but the way I recall it, it was love at first sight.
April: Oh please! You speak way too highly of yourself.
Casey: Oh I do huh?
A quick trip to the past, when April and Miss M were in high school...
April: Yes her eyes were blue, but it was junior year and she had a crush on that guy Fritz who was obsessed with the oldies. She got brown contacts to be that pretty brown eyed girl, ya know, the one from that song.
Casey: Didn't Fritz end up marrying a guy?
April: Yes, M was always falling for unattainable guys. But that's not the point! Can I please tell the story? It was high school, and M and I were seeking adventure...
Miss M: Do I really have to?
April: Yes M! Come on already, we'll be just fine.
I just don't see why we can't go to the mall instead. They are having a huge sale at Contempo Casuals, and I think we should be like every other girl in high school and shop and then eat away at our vapid lives in the food court. Cute guys live in the food court April.
April: I can't with you right now. We are not those girls. You read comics!
April: M, everyone knows you read comics.
Miss M: I know, but I want to go to Becky Bibby's house party this weekend. Fritz is going to be playing with his rock band. Everyone thinks he is so cool. No one thinks the dork girl with her comics is cool. So as of right now, I am a closet comic reader. I want to be cool April.
Miss M: Can't we just have the Turtles figure it out?
Miss M: Guess we're just all full of secrets, huh? High school is a nightmare.
April: I know. But just think, if we can crack this story tonight, than I'll have the perfect platform to get into the coolest university for journalistic integrity and you'll get into college and become an actress and we'll finally get to live the perfect lives! Life is not going to end here for us M. Can you just imagine how cool we'll be as adults?
Miss M: Totally. You'll be bitter and jaded, probably on your second marriage, and I'll probably have bad hair.
Miss M: Sure. Do we want to invite Irma?
April: No, Irma is really wanting to study for some computer exam. Let's just have this be us, ok?
Later on that night...
(looks nervous) Do we really have to go to the sewer? I'm wearing new shoes!
April: (sighs) Oh M. You should have stayed, I heard Fritz was asking for you.
April: Something about wanting to borrow some scarves for a gig. I don't know.
Miss M: Oh my goodness. I love him.
Miss M: Ya know, I think we should get our Turtle friends involved in this. April, this is dangerous!
April: We can handle this on our own just fine. Besides, I don't want to be disturbing Donatello. He has been tinkering on a new device.
April: You are making my head hurt. Donatello is just a friend.
April: You shouldn't be like that. Watch, you'll end up falling in love with a Ninja Turtle one day.
April: Some friend of the Turtles you are.
Hey, I am totally friends with those turtles! Michelangelo let me borrow some of his comics. The turtles are cool, I just don't think they are dating material, ya know?
April walks ahead a few steps.
Besides, wouldn't it be illegal to date a Ninja Turtle? And which one would I even date anyway? Donatello is too smart. Raphael has a smart mouth. Leonardo is stuffy. And Michelangelo, well, he's...
April: Would you be quiet! Look!
Miss M: Wow. April, do you think that material breathes?
Miss M: That robot thing has a talking stomach.
April: I just need to get closer.
Miss M: April, stop!
April: What in the world?
Miss M: Oh April, we are not supposed to be here.
April: No, just a few steps closer...
Miss M: April!
June 2014 Bodacious Baddie!
Krang: I heard it too. Is someone there?
Shredder: Probably Bebop or Rocksteady. Bumbling fools. Let us get back to our discussion at hand. I want this city in the palm of my hand.
Shredder: Bebop and Rocksteady. If that wasn't them... Hold on.
April: Just be quiet.
Foot Soldier: They were sneaking around Shredder.
April: Yeah, so?
Shredder: Is that so?
Miss M: Yeah. We'll just be on our way, right April? (April is silent)
(agitated) Dispose of them Shredder and let's go about our business!
April: Let us go, and no one gets hurt.
Shredder: Little girl, I could have you flayed open in a matter of seconds.
April: It doesn't matter. You weirdos are behind this city falling into ruin. And I'm gonna stop you!
Miss M: Gulp. April, this is a bit beyond our grade level.
April: Stand strong M. Remember, what would She-Ra do?
Miss M: She'd summon the powers of Grayskull and be done with this. I can't summon the powers of anything! I freak out when I see roaches. April, let's get out of here!
April: There's no going back M. It's either do or die. So let's do; let's kick their grimy butts!
April: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Tell me where he is! Where is Splinter!
Numerous Foot Soldiers begin to arrive...
April: We got this.
Mystery Man: Oh I know you do. I just like kicking butt too.
Miss M: No time for that, let's help him! That's what you wanted to do right? Stop these goons!
A mini battle commences.
And soon ends.
April: Great. Now he knows where we shop.
Mystery Man: You can call me Jones.
April: Yeah, well, you fight pretty well.
Miss M: Gee. Thanks.
Jones: What were you two doing here?
Jones: Me too. I've been spying on them for months. They caused a shoot out in my neighborhood. Some people got hurt. I want them to pay.
Miss M: Where were you just now?
April: I don't even know. I just felt so funny, like all I want to do is smile right now. And I don't even know why.
Miss M: I know! Especially Donatello when he finds out you have a boyfriend!
Back to the present...
April: No. More like curiosity spiked with a bit of lust. No, no, no. It took a little longer before it became true love. You know the dramas we went through.
Casey: Yeah, I remember. But I still think there was that spark then. You just don't want to admit it.
April: (rolls her eyes) Anyways. It's late. I need to get to the office early tomorrow. Good night.
Casey: (chuckles to himself) Good night April.
Dr. Blight: What is it Shredder?
Dr. Blight: He has not been very cooperative. There has been a bit of a problem with some of his readings regarding a woman.
Shredder: Good Lord. That dorky woman is dead. And good riddance too. She has always been a pain in the... Wait a second? Did he say when he'd be back?
Shredder: Find me the Mutagen Man. I am not about to lose what I have so long fought for: control of this city. Go. Now!
Shredder: In the mean time, I will be making a visit to see Mayor Quimby. The Conference of Evil is still going to go on, and no concerned citizens will try and stop it!
June 2014 Bodacious Baddie!
We're getting ever closer to July and the Conference of Evil! Stick around though, as there is one last story for June! For those participating in the one shot stories, get ready! I'll be sending out emails with rules and guidelines very soon! Take care everyone.