June 2014 Woman of Wonderosity!

Dear Diary,

Sometimes in life, there are things that go your way and then there are the times when things go completely awry. As of this latest entry, things are going well. Bruce Wayne and I have been getting along famously. It's nice to be needed. With Alfred still in the hospital, and Bruce all laid up in bed following that morbid attack by a giant roach, I am the only one capable of helping to care for him. He has even asked me to do his Batman work, like making sure the Batcave is in tip top shape. I get to use his cameras to look in on people and make sure they are ok. It's really great. He also really believes me. Oh Diary, he believes me when I say that I am really Miss M. It's nice. Now I just need to find that pesky dragon figurine for Maleficent. I've been searching on eBay for awhile now, and nothing. I even went to Craig's List, but all I could find was a group of people dressed as dragons looking for a 5th for toy torture, whatever that means. Ah well, I need to get going. I must check on Bruce. 

-Miss M

Miss M: Your wounds look like they are healing nicely.
Bruce Wayne: I have you to thank Miss M. I'm still not in perfect shape though. How are things going in the city?
Miss M: They are fine. People are starting to freak out about the upcoming Conference of Evil. It's crazy! There have been protests. I think there is even a Kickstarter campaign to try and finance the Conference elsewhere. It's just nuts.

Bruce Wayne: I need to be out there.
Miss M: Stop! Don't move a muscle! You need your rest. I'll go check on the city.
Bruce Wayne: You don't have to do that.
Miss M: I know, but I want to. It's nice to feel like I am able to do something to help protect people. Besides, if something is going down, I can use the Batmobile? Right?

Bruce Wayne: Umm, no. Nice try though.
Miss M: (playfully sighs) You never let me do anything fun!

Miss M gets up to leave.

Miss M: I'll go down to the Batcave and I'll let you know how things are going.

A few short footsteps later...

Miss M: I'm not really sure what I should be looking up. I mean, the city seems ok. I can't even find the Joker or any of the other residents from Arkham. Hmm...

Miss M: Oh I know what I'll do! I need to search for April. I wonder what my dear friend is doing...

Miss M: Wow, this place is so big. I am not sure how I am going to use those cameras.

Miss M: Wow, Batman Returns is playing. Hmm, I need to change the channel. Must find April.

As the cameras search through the city, Miss M soon spots April. At a Dairy Queen.

Miss M: Ok, let's listen in...

Inside a Dairy Queen, April and Irma try to rally their next interview for Diary of a Dorkette. Their thoughts are that Emma Frost will make for a great...

June 2014 Woman of Wonderosity!

Emma Frost: So this is where we are meeting?
April: Yes, your last name got Irma worked up for a frozen treat.

Irma: I'm ordering a Blizzard!
Emma Frost: Good for you.
April: Would you like something?

Emma Frost: (looks around) Hmm. No. I don't eat at places like this.
Irma: Oh you totally should though! Blizzards are really good. The burgers are nice too.

April: Anyways, we don't have to order anything. We invited you here to make a pitch. We'd like you to be the June 2014 Woman of Wonderosity. We've been in contact for months now, and it just seems like the right time.
Emma Frost: I'm surprised you didn't try to get me for a Bodacious Baddie.
Irma: We thought about it. You do tend to have murky allegiances.
Emma Frost: (glares at Irma) I could make you believe you are a 16 year old teen boy. Do you know the horrors in the mind of a 16 year old teen boy?
Irma: Gulp.
April: Irma, go and order your Blizzard.

Irma: Ok.

Emma Frost: Before you order, I want a Hunger Buster combo, add cheese and a Coke to drink.

Irma nods and quickly walks off to order.

Emma: (looks at April) You breathe a word of this and I will make things much worse for you.
April: Fine. No one has to know. I promise.
Emma Frost: Good. So... you want me to be the Woman of Wonderosity? I can do that. It'll be nice to finally do something before Jean Grey does it first.

April: Yikes. Ok, so full disclosure, we have tried reaching out to Jean for a spot as a Woman of Wonderosity, but no one knows where she is at. So I can honestly say, you will be featured on the Diary first. (Editor's note: there's jokes in them there sentences)

Emma Frost: Great. I would love to be the Woman of Wonderosity.
April: This is awesome. Now there will be hard hitting questions, we aren't going to go easy on you.
Emma Frost: What will you be asking me?

Irma arrives with food.

April: We'll be asking you about your relationship with Scott; what it was like to be a part of ruining a marriage. We'll inquire about your time as headmistress with Generation X along with surviving the genocide on Genosha and of course all the men and outfits you've gone through.
Emma Frost: Looks like you won't be holding back. That is fine. Most of my life has been in the public eye, so it's not like answering these questions will be a shock.

Irma: I want to know your thoughts on January Jones playing you in that X-Men movie.
Emma Frost: Meh. She's a sweet girl, but I would have rather them gotten me to play me.
April: I feel the exact same way! I've got a movie about my life coming out this August and they couldn't even get me to play me! They got some young pretty thing to play me. And no one can play April O'Neil, but April O'Neil!

Emma Frost: I thought that movie was about Ninja Turtles?
April: Well, that's what Hollywood wants you to think. Believe me, I've been told that this movie is a docu-drama of my rise to journalistic fame and features all my vices: snark, Botox, and wearing a lot of yellow.

Emma Frost: Sounds fascinating.
Irma: Yeah, it's gonna be a great movie. I bet it even gets nominated for an Oscar.

April: We can only hope.

As the women eat their delicious DQ food, Miss M sits back observing.

Miss M: Oh my goodness some DQ soft serve sounds so good right now. Oh my goodness. And what kind of mess is this: eating burgers with Emma Frost! That sounds like so much fun. Although, I wonder if Emma knows that Jean Grey is loose. Hmm, let's check in on someone else. I miss my favorite Turtle.

The cameras turn to Michelangelo...

Michelangelo: (hears the door knock) Ah come on bros! Do I always have to get the door? This is gnarly!

He answers the door to find Mona Lisa standing there.

Michelangelo: Whoa. Mona Lisa. It's been like a hot slice of a minute since I saw you last. What are you doing here?

Mona Lisa: Hey. Wow, since when did you become Old Man Mikey?
Michelangelo: I've been going through a lot.
Mona Lisa: Yeah. Anyways, I'm just here to drop off some stuff for Raph.
Michelangelo: I hope it's not, like, a bomb or something.

Mona Lisa: Come on Mikey. Don't be a douche.
Michelangelo: Not cool! I'm not trying to be a douche at all. It's just, ya know, you broke my brother's heart.

Mona Lisa: (strides in) Really? I broke his heart? Give me a break. We dated when we were teens, and if I recall, it was Raph that broke my heart. He wasn't ready for commitment, blah, blah, blah, I was too needy, his words, not mine. Or have you forgotten?
Michelangelo: Sha, I think I totally did forget dudette. Must have been all the pizza consumption.
Mona Lisa: Anyways. So, I recently moved, and while moving I found some old stuff of Raph's from when we were teens. I don't know if he cares, but I didn't want to just throw it away.

Michelangelo: Dudette, that's a long time ago. You could have just thrown it away, Raph doesn't care about holding onto stuff.
Mona Lisa: I know. It's good to see you though Mikey. Have you been all right? I see Splinter every now and then, he told me about your loss. Sounds like this Miss M was a great girl.
Michelangelo: Yeah, it was pretty gnarly last December when she died.

Mona Lisa: Does it ever feel weird living in her house?
Michelangelo: All the time.
Mona Lisa: Oh Mikey. Are you guys ever going back to the sewer?
Michelangelo: What sewer? There isn't a sewer to go back to. The Turtle Lair was blown to bits. For now it's just this life. In here.

Mona Lisa: That is sad Mikey. Ya know, if you ever want to get out of here for a bit and get some pizza or something, you can always contact me. We used to be real close, ya know?
Michelangelo: I know dudette. You were one of us for the longest.
Mona Lisa: Yeah. I had some good times with you guys.
Michelangelo: Totally. Maybe we should hang out some time. I would be ok to chow down on some bodacious pizza or something.
Mona Lisa: Hey, we've all been through loss Mikey. It helps to spend time with people.

Michelangelo: Totally.

Back to the Bat Cave...

Miss M: Hmm, that doesn't look right. I shouldn't be worried. It's totally ok that Michelangelo and Mona Lisa hang out. For pizza. His favorite food. Gulp. I really need to get back into my old body.

Miss M looks up at another camera.

Miss M: Hey. That's Bruce's archival room. Holy cow, he has a ton of stuff!

Bruce soon buzzes in before M can look through everything.

Bruce Wayne: M? Are you still there?
Miss M: Yep! I'm here!
Bruce Wayne: I need some help, can you come to my room?
Miss M: Sure, be right there.

As Miss M gets up, she gives one last look to the screen peering into Bruce's archival room. Unknown to Miss M, if the camera could only turn just a bit to the left, she'd notice that there is a lovely black dragon figurine in the room. Just like the one Maleficent is looking for...

Meanwhile at the X-Mansion!

Emma: (strides into the Danger Room) Where are you? I can recognize those thoughts anywhere. Come out Jean.

A moment passes.

Emma: There you are.
Jean: You aren't supposed to be here.
Emma: And neither are you. I thought you were dead.

Jean: You should know that death is fleeting for our kind.
Emma: Does anyone else know about your 34th resurrection? Scott perhaps?
Jean: No one knows. I was... taking it easy at Arkham Asylum. I left to get help, but I just got so distracted being back here. So much has changed since I... was last here. And Scott does not know about me, so your relationship is safe.
Emma: Scott and I aren't together anymore.
Jean: Oh. I would say I'm sorry it didn't work out, but you did take him from me.

Emma: Lovely darling, anything else you'd like to throw my way?
Jean: Emma, I don't have time for this. There are bigger things going on right now.
Emma: Excuse me? What could be bigger than this; Jean Grey, alive and in the flesh. Oh your return is just bloody brilliant. My dear, there are two of you running around right now.
Jean: Excuse me?
Emma: There's the teen version of you from the past that traveled to the present, and now the real you. Alive looking refreshed in an outfit that is so 1990.

Jean: What can I say? I've had a lot of spa time and I've brought back the basics.
Emma: You know, I'm stronger now. I could easily snap your mind like a twig. Make you a blubbering fool. I rather like the idea. I'm not ready for the real life Jean Grey to come back.
Jean: What do you mean?
Emma: Please. That's all we need is Scott and Logan to run around like lovesick puppy dogs for their 'Red.' You are a nuisance Jean. And I should be the one to do something about it...

Emma Frost unleashes the full force of her telepathic abilities!

Emma: No one will know you are alive...

Suddenly, Jean pushes back!

Jean: Emma, I may have been on an extended stay at a shabby asylum, but don't even try to think about it. I don't even have to unleash the Dark Phoenix to show you who you really are...
Emma: (pushes harder) Go ahead.
Jean: Sure.

A psychic battle unfolds and both women soon find themselves at a stand still.

Jean: Wow. You are pretty strong.

Emma: I did have a fragment of the Phoenix in me a few issues ago.
Jean: Oh Emma. What are we doing?
Emma: I don't even know.
Jean: I'm not staying.
Emma: What do you mean?
Jean: I can't do this. Can you keep my return a secret? For now?
Emma: Is this some sort of joke?
Jean: Read my mind, I'm telling the truth. I can't return here. Not when there is a teen version of me from the past running around. I can't handle that mind mess. Besides, I need to help Miss M.
Emma: Miss M? What does she have to do with this? Don't tell me she is back from the dead too!
Jean: It's a long story. I have to go though. It's nice to see you Emma.

Jean Grey soon leaves a baffled Emma Frost behind.

Emma: Bloody mess. All of it.

June 2014 Woman of Wonderosity!

And that is it for the month of June! Get ready folks! July kicks off the major toy story event of the year. Stick around for more details and more toy talk. Take care everyone.