While I view myself as a cool gal above the trappings of a happily-ever-after sort of life, I do sometimes fall for the idea of love. It's been that way my entire life. I've always wanted to have that one special person in my life that would be with me, side by side, no matter what. I thought I had that with Michelangelo. He was my party turtle. It didn't work out though. I've also had some ups and downs with Batman aka Bruce Wayne. I don't even know what to make of that. Of course there's Ed. But he's dead. So... I have taken my hand at online dating. I've already been on a few dates that have yielded nothing. I then gave up a bit and focused on being a hero and helping people. Now I'm taking a break from helping to make the city safe and I'm going to work on my heart! Wish me luck diary, more dates begin now!
Editor's note: The dates you are about to read about are based off of real life events. Enter with caution.
Miss M: Sorry. I really don't. (sighs)
Hammer: Seriously? You read comics?
Miss M: I usually stick with comics that follow the lives of the X-Men.
Hammer: Should I?
Miss M: Well, no, but it's the X-Men. They are mutants. There are numerous movies about them. I've never met anyone in my age bracket that does not know who the X-Men are.
Miss M: Yes. That's Mystique.
Hammer: Yeah, she's pretty hot. Do you ever get naked and paint yourself blue?
Miss M: No. That's messy.
Hammer: I think it'd make you hotter.
Snake: Me too. I thought your witty remarks for the perfect date involving video rentals, snacks, and horror movies was the best thing I'd heard in years. Ever since all I've wanted to do is watch horror movies with you.
Snake: Right. I have to admit something to you though, I have an addictive personality.
Miss M: Well I mean, don't we all? That's ok.
Snake: No, I'm sorry. Ignore what I'm saying. Karen is out of the picture.
Miss M: Did she die? It sounds like something sad happened...
Snake: No, she's alive. We just can't be together. It's not good when we are together. We both love heroin too much.
Miss M: What? Did you say heroin like the drug, or heroine, like a hero that is also a female?
Miss M: I had maybe thought so. I just figured you were wanting to smell like Stinkor.
Snake: Who is that?
Miss M: Listen, I think you are an incredible guy. I also am well aware that you have been through some stuff no doubt, and I commend you for that.
Miss M: Heaven forbid.
Miss M: (sighs) Please don't be a really hot woman. (turns around) Is that guy dressed as a zombie?
Irvine: Why is he in here dressed like a zombie?
Irvine: Just ignore him.
Miss M: Umm, we were kinda...
Irvine: Nah, we were just talking. Please, sit.
Zombie Dave: Man I tell ya, it's rough being a zombie.
Zombie Dave: Right. See you get it. And I must say, you've got one of the sexiest voices I've ever heard.
Zombie Dave: Well that's the thing. My fellow zombie friends, we're all trying to band together and fight for our rights to exist with everyone else.
Miss M: How noble of you.
Irvine: Nah, we aren't on a date. Do you smoke? (prepares to light a cigarette)
Miss M: Yeah. This is something else.
Miss M: Ok.
Irvine: Nice meeting you man.
Miss M: No, I had no clue who he was. I thought maybe you knew him and this was some prank that was about to happen to me.
Irvine: No prank. I've never seen anything like this before.
Miss M: Yeah.
Miss M: I don't think that has ever happened to me before.
Irvine: We should get together again.
Miss M: You have no idea.
Miss M: Me too. You seem like a really nice guy.
Bang: Oh, I'm not nice. I can be a real dick.
Bang: Tell me something, are you more submissive or more dominant in relationships?
Miss M: Umm, neither?
Miss M: Oh really? Pray tell, how am I submissive?
Miss M: (eyes nearly bulge out) Oh really?
Miss M: I think I've lost my appetite.
Bang: Oh come on, stop being so uptight. How is your dinner?
Bang: Was it not good?
Bang: Mine has been great.
Bang: That's pretty cool.
Miss M: Are you serious?
Miss M: You call that fun?
when all you're really interested in is using a man for a free meal. Glad I figured you out now before I wasted anymore time and money on you.
Miss M: I'll have my check please for my Dr. Pepper.
Suddenly Miss M hears a roar...
Want to take part in Dating a Dorkette? Have an idea for who Miss M should go on a date with next? Or maybe you have your own dating toy story you'd like to share? Well flex your creative skills and take part in the Dating a Dorkette writing event! Here's how to take part:
1. Simply come up with a dating story involving your favorite toys (even a toy Miss M if you have one) and let the sky be the limit. Once you have created something and have posted it, send me the link and I will have a special post here for all the people who participate.
2. Don't want to do all that stuff but still want to see some dating toy stories go down? Well take part and let me bring it to life. Leave a comment below with the toys you would like to see on a date, a location, and include one other tidbit you feel would make the story fun. I will try and come up with something. (Assuming I have the toys and play sets to do so.)
This will be going on for the month of July, so come on and Date a Dorkette!