Diary of a Dorkette: July 2015 Heroic Hottie!

Dear Diary,

I've been on a roll. Hellcat has been working with me and we've just been doing what cool chicks do. We fight crime. We discuss the importance of a variety of costume choices. We even thought we found an Infinite Stone but it was actually a stone that popped off of Frosta's top while we were at a party. Anyways, the summer is getting heated up as we approach one of the best weekends of the year: the Conference of Evil! I wonder what I'll wear?

-Miss M

Inside the offices of Diary of a Dorkette...

Miss M: Can you believe that? He totally denied me dessert! Who does that?
Hellcat: Sounds pretty awful.
Miss M: Tell me about it. I'm deleting my profile.

Hellcat: You look different.

Miss M: I do?
Hellcat: Yeah. Did you grow over night?

Miss M: No. I don't think so.
Hellcat: Something just looks different about you. I can't put my finger on it.
Miss M: I don't know what to tell you. It's still little old me though.

Hellcat: Yeah, but your head looks smaller. And your eyes, they aren't as wide and expressive. I miss the old you.

Miss M: Well, like everyone else we know in this town, some times I might look one way and the next day I might look different. Trust me though when I say this, it's still me. I'm still the same damn dorky girl that loses her balance when she walks, that has an atrocious love life, and I am working on becoming the best kick butt super hero I can be. Got it?
Hellcat: Got it.
Miss M: So, are you going to the Conference of Evil this weekend?

Hellcat: What's that?
Miss M: Seriously? You don't know? Well you better call somebody!
Hellcat: Or you could just tell me.

Miss M: The Conference of Evil is like the biggest event of the year. Every villain from all over the world converge at this one spot in the city and they have all kinds of events. They have had seminars on how to rule the world the right way. The Misfits typically close the weekend with the best concert ever. The exclusives and stuff to buy is just insane.
Hellcat: Why would a hero go to that?

Miss M: Well I've usually had to go because I was covering the events for Diary of a Dorkette. Come to think of it the first year I went a slew of people tried to kill me and last year the world ended up getting shrouded in Total Darkness. With all due respect, the Conference of Evil is kind of a nuisance.
Hellcat: Hmm. Normally I'd go and have fun with ya, but I'll be at the San Diego Comic Con this weekend.
Miss M: Oh really? People still go to that?

Hellcat: Umm, of course they do.
Miss M: Wow. Have fun. I'll be checking out any interesting coverage over at the Hunter Knight Customs YouTube page and getting all the scoop. Who knows, maybe he'll see you.
Hellcat: Maybe so. What's your plans for the rest of the day?

Miss M: After all the training we've done, I think I am going to take a nap. Naps are very underrated. My dad takes them all the time and I used to think he was just wanting to be lazy, but now I know better.

Hellcat: Cool. I'll see ya later M.

Miss M: Bye!

At the home base of the Cat Ladies...

Catra: All right, great news, I got us tickets to the Conference of Evil.
Black Cat: Why would we go to that train wreck?
Catwoman: Yeah, no one is going to be there. Most of the city's villains are locked up.

Catra: Yes, but there is one villain who has not paid for his crimes yet.
Black Cat: You mean Hordak?
Catra: Yes. I know he'll be there and I plan on finishing my revenge.

Catwoman: Do you think Cheetah or Cheetara will want to go?
Black Cat: Don't forget Hellcat!

Catra: I got enough tickets for us all, so if anyone wants to go they can. If not that is fine too. I just want to stop Hordak. He set loose a madman after us and for that I can never work with him again.
Black Cat: That's cool.
Catra: How is Cheetara doing by the way? Does she have a court date set yet?
Black Cat: No. She's just been spending time with her children.
Catwoman: That's good.

Black Cat: Tell me about it. I don't like it when they are here. The boy cat can't seem to handle himself properly around so many women and the girl cat is just an annoying shit.

Catwoman: Felicia! You can't say that. That's our friend's children.

Black Cat: I'll say whatever I want.
Catra: What of our ward? The bothersome Velvet Sky?
Catwoman: What of her? She is off with Cheetah grocery shopping for snacks.
Catra: Just remember, once we get rid of Hordak we are cutting that woman free. Deal?

Black Cat and Catwoman: Deal!

In one of the many evil twisted corridors of the Fright Zone...

Hordak: Are you ready for this weekend?

Wonder Girl: Of course I am. The Conference of Evil will be our chance to truly shine. The world will finally be at our feet.

Hordak: Yes. Soon your pathetic royal family will be but a distant memory. Hahahaha.

Wonder Girl: Hahahaha!

Hordak: Haha!

Wonder Girl: Ha!

Meanwhile on the other side of town in a dusty old motel...

Sulu: You got the tickets to the Conference?
Billy: Of course. Do you really think we will be able to stop Hordak and his plans with Wonder Girl?

Sulu: Yes. We have to if the future you is going to survive.

Billy: Got it. We can do this.

Sulu: Yes, we will. It will all work out.

And in another dusty motel...

Moth Lady: Ugh! This hurts!

Dragon Queen: Do you need some alcohol?

Moth Lady: I've been trying to quit.

Moth Lady: I don't think I can take much more of this. My stomach hurts. I want this baby out! I can feel it clawing at my insides!
Dragon Queen: You're pregnant with evil, you realize that don't you?

Moth Lady: What do you mean?

Dragon Queen: You have a heart that would make the most vile being tremble. I only want the most venomous on my team. So that thing inside of you, it will have a heart of darkness and once it has clawed its way out, we will have a monster on our hands so fierce this world will crumble. Not even the mighty Golden Girl will stop us from dominating the world.

Moth Lady: Of course Dragon Queen. You must know though, I was not in control of my body when this thing started its journey in me. That bitch Miss M was sharing space in my body when she crawled all over that man who plays with bats. It isn't fair...

Dragon Queen: Enough! We can deal with that later. Now let's pack. The Conference of Evil is upon us.

Moth Lady: (in pain) Yes. I'm just thrilled.

At Miss M's humble abode...

Miss M: I keep hearing these strange noises. I hope I'm not having a roach problem again.

Miss M: (hears a strange screeching sound) Hello? Who is that?

Miss M: I get too many visitors in my life.

???: Mom. Please. Mom, I need your help.

Miss M: I'm not your mom, who are you?

???: I'm your daughter.

Miss M: We do both have bangs... Wait! What is happening right now?

???: Evil is coming. Save me.

The young girl bursts into a swarm of bats!

Miss M: (wakes up from a nightmare) AHHH! Get the F off me bats!

Miss M: What in the world!? What's happening? That nightmare felt so real...

Back at the Diary of a Dorkette offices...

April: How long has it been?
Irma: I'm not sure.

Guy Friday: My watch puts us waiting at forty minutes.

April: Unacceptable! Just unacceptable. I guess we won't be interviewing a July Heroic Hottie.

Irma: We were told he would be hard to track down.

April: Ok, enough. I say we go to Bow's Place. Grab some appetizers and a few drinks. Someone call Miss M, tell her to meet us. I'm out of here.

The group heads out.