Dear Diary,
Or really, to anyone who is able to read this, because if you are reading this, it means I am lost. Possibly dead. On V. Price Peak. I really went and did it. I have made the decision to climb the spooky and dangerous V. Price Peak to meet and hopefully interview the International Man of Nostalgia: Dino Drac. I hope this will be a fruitful endeavor with more flavor than a stick of fruit stripe gum. But, like I said, if you are reading this, I most likely have not made it. So please, if you can, please let Yvie know how much I love her. I haven't been the best mom in the world, I know, but being one of her moms has been the greatest highlight in my life. To my friends and family, thank you for always being there for me, I will miss you all so much. Dad, go to therapy, please. I know there are more things I should say, especially to friends no longer here, but, you all know what you mean to me. At least you should. Bruce, please make sure Chewie gets the pink treats. I know you don't remember but he likes the pink treats and if he is going to stay with Yvie and you, I really... You know what, it doesn't matter. Just make sure he has the pink treats, those are his favorite. And to all the men that have loved me, may I haunt you all for the rest of your years.
Ok, bye!
Miss M
Miss M's home.
Vash: And to all the men that have loved me, may I haunt you all for the rest of your lives. (groans) Damn it!
Vash: Damn Miss M and her uncanny ability to just be a jumping rock in a glass house. She will ruin everything by going up that mountain alone.
Vash: MAL, are you able to connect through this computer? Please be online.
Vash: Great. I need you to log into the street cams. The closest you can get to V. Price Peak. I need to know where M's location.
MAL: This dorkette seems to be a wildcard, don't you think?
Vash: Yes. What should have been the most simplest of plans, has turned into a mess.
MAL: You overestimated her. That would appear to be on you, no?
Vash: Whatever, just give me the details.
MAL: She should be arriving at the mountain soon.
Vash: Great. That means there is still time. This can work. It might all come together after all.
Conference of Evil. Undisclosed location.
April: Hi, this is April O'Neil and I am coming to you live from the 56th Annual Conference of Evil. We're on Day Three of what has only been described as a show stopping event. Fans of evil have gone wild for the return of Mother Talzin. There have been grumblings that Doctor Doom will make an appearance. President Luthor is expected to make the closing remarks tomorrow for the final day.
April: I'm still at a loss of words for my earlier interview with Dr. Wiley and his insistence of manipulating AI with a new batch of Robot Masters. But, now is the time for some breaking news. Please welcome actress and model, Mila Rosnovsky!
Mila: Hello! Thank you for having me.
April: Of course. Now, what has brought you to the Conference of Evil? This does not seem like the place your fans would expect to see you.
Mila: Well, I have all kinds of fans April, and I'm here to share news about my next big project. Everyone knows super villains love soap operas, and I am delighted to discuss my new top secret role on the Sun Also Sets!
April: Oh wow! What a full circle moment. For those who might recall, Mila was a child actress ready to usher in a more mature turn in her career as Kendall Hart on All My Children, only that role ended up going to Sydney Rutledge. Fans have been clamoring to see you on a soap opera for decades. What led to this decision after all these years?
Mila: Well, I have been a fan of the Sun Also Sets since I was a kid. That show blurred the lines between fiction and reality in the '90s and it is truly a cultural juggernaut. So, when Rose Schwartz, the brilliant head writer of the show, reached out to me personally for a role she was writing for me, I mean April, I couldn't say no.
April: Wow. Is the cast here as well?
Mila: Yes, we have a panel that goes live in about an hour, but I wanted to give you the scoop first.
April: Can you tell us who you will be playing? And, what has it been like to work with Celeste Talbert?
Mila: Celeste is a class act. The whole cast is. I just started taping scenes earlier this week, to begin airing in the fall, but we're pausing to be here for the fans. As for my role, I can only dish that it will be very soapy. With a nod to some memorable storylines from the past.
April: Well there you have it, more breaking news for this explosive Conference of Evil. Mila Rosnovsky will be starring in the Sun Also Sets! Look for her scenes to begin airing in the fall! And stay tuned, you never know what else might happen at the Conference of Evil!
V. Price Peak.
Miss M: Gulp.
Miss M: Dang. How high does this thing go?
Miss M: Ok, I've got this. Totally. This really can't be that hard.
Miss M: I wore boots. And they're made for walkin! Besides, I've climbed Snake Mountain before, this should be a total piece of cake.
Miss M: Well. Crap. That looks challenging.
Miss M: Or not! Ok Dino Drac, I'm comin for ya! In a totally warm and friendly way. This interview is going to be so frickin fun and great.
Miss M: (looks around, overwhelmed) Hmm, ok, where to next? I mean I realize there's only one way up, but like... (pauses upon realizing something important) Crap!! I forgot to bring snacks.
Miss M: (sighs)
Well, it shouldn't be too much longer. I doubt I'll get famished. I had those fries before coming here. Hmm, ok, it's this way.
Miss M: (reflecting) I think I talk to myself too much. That can't be too bad of a thing. Right? Right.
Miss M: Hmm. (looks into a pit) So. I guess I just go down in there? I really should have asked Winston or Michelangelo to join me. They'd know what to do.
Miss M: No! Don't talk like that. I am fully capable of climbing this mountain, which isn't even that spooky. I was kinda expecting spookier.
Miss M: Ok, I just need to be careful. These rocks are so slick!
Miss M: Oof! Ow! Ahh!
M lands on the ground hard, her body ringing as a result. Like that first hit of really good sour candy.
Across town. Club Ritz.
Jason: (gruff) Place is closed, why are you still here?
Glo: I had to change out of my costume and was hoping to talk to Lana. Have you seen her?
Jason: No.
Glo: What are you doing? Do you need help?
Jason: Having to repair some pipes in the bathroom. And no. You can go.
Glo: You don't have to be such an ass. I was only trying to help.
Jason: Look, I've said this before. I'm here to do my job. I'm not here to be nice or make friends. I just want to do this and go home. Which, maybe you should do? Yeah?
Jason passes Glo by roughly and drops his pipes before cursing loudly.
Jason: No!
Jason: (in frustration) I'm going on a break. (sighs) Just, please, be gone when I get back.
Glo: (unaware Influence is behind her) Still no reason to be like that. But whatever.
V. Price Peak.
Miss M: Ok. I'm ok.
Miss M: Gotta keep going. It was just a little fall. I'm sure I am close. And maybe the rumors aren't true, perhaps Dino Drac lives midway up the mountain and not at the top?
Miss M: Yeah. Fingers crossed.
Pumpkin Head: Click, click.
Miss M: Ohh, I'm a little light headed. This has been a little harder than expected. I don't know if it's the air up here or that fall earlier, but I just need to sit a spell.
Miss M: Yeah, here we go.
Miss M: (breathes a heavy sigh) Man, I sure could go for a snack right now.
Miss M: (begins to panic) I really might not make it. I may have bitten off more than I can chew. Oh. My. Gawd. This might be where I die.
Batman: You think I'm going to let you die up here?
Miss M: Bruce! What are you doing here?!
Batman: You know darn well you have no business climbing up a mountain. No offense, but, mountain climbing is not really your thing. Ya know?
Miss M: But, I must talk to Dino Drac. It's the interview. This interview means a great deal to me as a toy journalist.
Batman: I know, but, I can't have anything bad happen to you. I love you.
Miss M: You love me? (squints) Bruce, do you remember?
Batman: Yes. My memories have returned, and I can't go another day without you.
Miss M: Oh Bruce, I love you too! I never thought this day would come! I know Dick is great, but it's always going to be you! Oh Bruce, I am so happy! Let's go...
Miss M:...home. Bruce? Where did you go? (sighs) I'm hallucinating again aren't I? Crap!
Miss M: (shakes head) Snap out of it! Ok, no resting. It's either the air or maybe the mountain? Maybe this place really is spooky. In a haunted way. What fresh hell will be waiting for me now?
Vash: Who are you talking to? Have you lost it?
Miss M: Vash?! What are you doing here?
Vash: I'm here to cheer you on. Don't give up M. Get to the top of this mountain and interview Dino Drac. You must do this. And leave no details out, especially how you get inside his castle and where he keeps everything.
Miss M: Vash, why do you even care? The Bloglin submission window thingy is now closed. This interview is really just for me.
Vash: And what a shame that the window closed, but M, who cares about Bloglins now? And you're right, this is for you. You're knee deep in this, and you must see it through.
Miss M: (grins in excitement) Well, I really do have some amazing ideas to talk about with Dino Drac.
Vash: See? Keep going. This was never about a Bloglin. You must keep going!
Miss M: Vash, what are you even talking about? You sound more cryptic than usual.
Miss M: Vash? Oh no. Not again. I really should have brought a snack. I'm not me when I'm hungry. Seeing all kinds of things.
Miss M: (closes eyes in relief) Now this is a welcomed hallucination.
Miss M: What do I do Godzilla? Do I keep going or just live up to my namesake and quit?
Godzilla: Rawr.
Miss M: But what if I get up there and he thinks I'm a fool and won't even talk to me? Or what if he thinks I'm a villain for initially thinking this would help me get a Bloglin? And what do you think it means that I told Bruce that I love him still in my hallucination? Am I ready to admit that? And why would I? Dude has serious amnesia.
Godzilla: RAWR! (blows Miss M's hair back)
Miss M: Ok, ok, you're right. I need to focus. I must get to the top of this mountain and meet Dino Drac. For the most epic interview in all of toy land. Do you think you could just toss me up there? I'll land on my tush, I promise.
Godzilla: Rawr. Ra. Wr. Rawr!
Miss M: I know. I can believe in me because you do. My forever faithful companion.
Miss M: Until we hallucinate again Godzilla.
Pumpkin Head: Click. Clack. Click.
Miss M: (blinks eyes) Ok, you must be real, because I've never seen you before. You're so cute! Are you lost? I'm lost.
Pumpkin Head: Click.
Miss M: Are you going to show me the way?
Miss M: Ok. I think you will. I'm just going to follow you, is that ok?
Miss M: You're either going to take me where I need to go or you're leading me to my death and
I'm about to be the snack. Eh. Let's see what happens.
Back at Club Ritz.
Influence: Looks like we're alone.
Glo: ?!?!
Influence: I'm so sorry dear. Your show, it was magnificent. You shined like the brightest star.
Glo: (nervous) Thank you. What are you doing here?
Influence: I was having some drinks at the bar. Hoping we'd have a moment alone. To talk.
Glo: Oh. Well, I was just leaving, so maybe another time?
Influence: (looks into Glo's eyes) Or, maybe we talk now?
Glo: (falls into a lull) What is happening to me?
Influence: Most people fall into my hypnotic ways fairly easy. You seem to be a little stronger than most, and it's been driving me wild for months.
Glo: What?
Influence: Come closer, I only want to talk to you.
Glo: (breaks free) No! Jason!
Influence: (grabs Glo's arm tightly) Shh, quiet.
Influence: No one can help. They're all at the Conference of Evil. You looked so beautiful tonight.
Glo: (screams as Influence lifts her up) What are you doing?!
Influence: Don't fight dear. Just look into my eyes.
Glo: (breathes strangely) No, what are you doing?
Influence: It's a special power I have, one I use to get what I want. And I want you. From the moment I saw you.
Glo's eyes begin to glaze over.
Glo: (slurs) You can't...
Influence: Come on, let's get you more comfortable. I want everything to be just right.
Jason: What the hell is this?!
Influence: Get out of here boy! I'm busy!
Jason: The hell I will. Leave her alone.
Influence: No. I don't think I will. And if you won't leave, I'll make you.
Jason: Go on. Be about it then old man. (looks into Influence's eyes ever so briefly)
Influence: (lands a powerful blow to a dazed Jason) Stupid punk.
Influence: (laughs maniacally) I'm not just some old man! Not when I wield this kind of influence. Never should have looked me in the eyes boy!
Influence: Looks like Big Boy's gonna need a new bouncer!
Glo is broken free from the influence.
She stumbles off the table.
And slowly makes her way towards the age old problem.
Influence: (kicks Jason numerous times) You like that? Huh? How many licks will it take huh? Until I can crack into that gooey center?
Influence: What do you say boy? (kicks one more time)
Glo looks on in a daze at what she has just done.
Jason: (coughs) Are you ok?
Glo: (shaking) Yeah. Maybe not. I don't know. How about you?
Jason: I've been worse. Is he dead?
Glo: Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Jason: Damn. He certainly had it coming, but now we have a problem.
Glo: (fights back tears) Yeah. I just killed one of Big Boy's men. I need to call the police.
Jason: That is the last thing you will be doing.
Glo: What do you mean?
Jason: No one can know. Are you crazy? We'll both be marked if anyone finds out what happened. So, we have no choice, we have to get rid of the body.
Dun dun duunn.
Back to V. Price Peak.
Miss M: Ok, ok! I'm coming! Dear Sweet Jeezus, what kind of rocks are these?
Miss M: Listen Pumpkin Head, if this is a trap, I just want you to know I can fight.
Pumpkin Head ignores her and continues climbing.
Miss M: It's like, fabric rocks. How is that even a thing?
Pumpkin Head howls a series of clicks into the air. They have arrived.
Miss M: Oh wow.
Pumpkin Head: Click. Click.
Miss M: I made it. I finally made it! Dino Drac's Castle on top of V. Price Peak! Whoah. It's time. Dino Drac! I'm here! No need to alert the authorities, I come in peace. And would-be Pizzarias. But like, seriously, I have zero snacks. (crosses fingers) Here's hoping you do.
To be continued...
Like the previous posts on this blog, it is with great sadness that the blogging community lost William Bruce West. My heart goes out to his family, including his wife Lindsay and two daughters. Will contributed so much to the toy/comics/pop culture blogging and podcast community. His opinions on pop culture are the stuff of legend. Please check out the West Family GoFundMe and consider donating, they need our support more than ever. If you can't donate, please spread the word. West Family GoFundMe
April: Hi, this is April O'Neil and I am coming to you live from the 56th Annual Conference of Evil. We're on Day Three of what has only been described as a show stopping event. Fans of evil have gone wild for the return of Mother Talzin. There have been grumblings that Doctor Doom will make an appearance. President Luthor is expected to make the closing remarks tomorrow for the final day. 
Jason: (gruff) Place is closed, why are you still here?
Influence: Looks like we're alone.
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