I just got back from the beauty salon where Truvy and Frenchy both saved my date night from becoming a big date don't. Now that I'm all dressed and ready to go, I can only hope that this big first date with Michelangelo will be one for the books. I'm totally nervous, but after the disaster of my hair nearly going up in flames at the salon, well... what could possibly go wrong?
Miss M Presents:
While waiting for his date with Miss M, Michelangelo stands around in front of the best Italian restaurant in the city.
Michelangelo: I wonder where she is at?
Still standing around, he hears the click clack of shoes behind him.
Miss M: Hey Michelangelo!
The Ninja Turtle turns and is completely stunned by his date.
Michelangelo: Miss M? Is that really you?
Miss M: Hey. I am sorry if I'm late. I had a slight problem at the beauty salon...
Michelangelo: No biggie dudette. You look really gnarly.
Miss M: Thank you. Here, check out the whole look.
Standing still, Miss M gives a twirl to show off her hair and dress.
Swinging around so quickly, Miss M's hair flows rather nicely.
Michelangelo: Wow. You look really awesome. Is there a burnt scent I smell in your hair?
Miss M: (quickly) No! Why on Etheria would you think that?
Michelangelo: No reason. Are you ready to eat?
Miss M: Sure. I'm starving.
Michelangelo: Have you ever been to Antonio's Pizza Rama? They have the most bodacious pizza ever.
Miss M: Sounds good.
Entering into the restaurant, Miss M takes in the atmosphere.
Miss M: Wow, this is a nice place!
Michelangelo greets the waiter at the front.
Michelangelo: Hey Jim. Is Antonio here today?
Jim: No, he has not stopped by yet. Would you like your usual table?
Michelangelo: Nah, that's all right dude. I was thinking of maybe something totally special tonight. I'm on a date, this is Miss M.
Miss M: Hi.
Jim: Hello Miss M.
Michelangelo: Jim has been working at Antonio's for years. He practically runs the joint.
Jim: Hardly Michelangelo, though I do thank you for the kind words. Since you are on a special date for the evening, I believe there is something I could do to make the night special. How does that sound?
Michelangelo: Totally cool dude! Lead the way!
Jim: Right then, follow me please. Would the lady care for any wine to drink?
Miss M: Oh no thank you. I don't care for wine. But I would love a Cherry Coke.
Jim: Excellent choice. We have the best picked cherries.
Jim leads the duo back through the kitchen and downstairs into a special area of the restaurant.
Miss M: Wait, are we in the sewer?
Jim: Yes and no. Antonio wanted to develop a special dining atmosphere for his favorite customers, so he sectioned this part of the sewer off and renovated it. This is the way to the special brick oven where you will be making your lovely dinner date pizzas.
Michelangelo: Does that sound tubular M?
Miss M: Totally! Making pizzas sounds fun! Although, wait, like when you say making a pizza, like, we're going to actually be making the pizza?
Jim: But of course. With that oven...
Miss M: (gulps) I don't really cook. I mean I can totally bake a mean frozen pizza, but I've never cooked the real thing!
Michelangelo: Don't worry M. We got this! Come on, let's start crackin some radical pizza!
Jim: I will return with your drinks.
Jim leaves as Michelangelo and Miss M make their way to the oven.
Miss M: What do we do now?
Michelangelo: You really haven't cooked much have you?
Miss M: Is it that obvious?
Michelangelo: Come on M, I'll show you what to do.
A few moments later...
Michelangelo: I can't believe we like the same toppings on our pizza! You are one bodacious babe!
Miss M: I guess. Thanks for not thinking I'm lame for not being a domestic diva.
Michelangelo: Nah, it's cool dudette. We usually order take out in the sewer anyway.
A few drinks and bites of pizza later...
Miss M: (laughs at something Michelangelo said) That is so funny. I can't believe you pulled a prank on April like that back in the day. I love hearing stories like that.
Michelangelo: Yeah, April is a good friend. My brothers and I don't know what we'd do without her.
Miss M: I know. She is such a good friend.
Michelangelo: You must be excited that April and Casey are back together.
Miss M: What? They are?
Michelangelo: Not exactly, but they have totally been hooking up in secret.
Miss M: Why wouldn't she tell me? Did she tell you?
Michelangelo: Nah, Casey did. I just figured she would have told you.
Miss M: I wonder why she hasn't said anything...
The two continue to talk about their friends and manage to flirt a little too before a loud noise from the entrance breaks their romantic train of thought.
Miss M: What was that!?
Michelangelo: I don't know. Is someone there?
They both stare in shock at some major date-crashers!
Dr. Blight: All right Foot Soldiers! On my word!
Michelangelo: Whoa! Total date foul Dr. Dudette!
Miss M: What is Dr. Blight doing with Foot Soldiers?
Dr. Blight: Silence, the both of you! I am here for the mutagen ooze. Now hand it over!
Michelangelo: You're one crazy dingbat Dr. Dudette. There is no mutagen ooze here!
Dr. Blight: Do you take me for a fool? I will suffer you gladly for your incontinence!
Miss M: For a doctor you sure are dumb. I think you meant to say incompetence.
Dr. Blight: Silence! You pale dork girl! I know what I said. Now if you do not wish to hand over what I have asked for, prepare to die!
Miss M: Oh, this doesn't sound good...
Dr. Blight: Foot Soldiers! ATTACK! Leave the pale dork girl for me!
Foot Soldiers rush towards Michelangelo.
Michelangelo: M, stay back! Come on foot face! I can fight you all day and still eat my pizza! Cowabunga!
Michelangelo engages in combat as Miss M stands to the side, unaware that her pretty little feet are about to be chomped by Mousers!
Miss M: Come on Michelangelo! Kick the Foot!
The Ninja Turtle uses all his power to slam the Foot Soldier's head onto the edge of the oven.
Michelangelo: That's for messin up my date dude!
As Michelangelo and the Foot Soldier fight, Miss M backs away to avoid any problems, even though there is a big problem right below her.
Miss M: Oh goodness, this doesn't look good! Eek!
Miss M swings around to avoid getting clocked by the Foot Soldier.
Trouble always comes in pairs though and Michelangelo finds himself up against a second Foot Soldier.
Michelangelo: Not cool dudes!
Miss M: Don't worry, I can help!
Miss M moves around to try and help her date, but with an ear splitting scream, the dorkette slips and falls!
Miss M: AHHH!
Landing on her big hair of armor (thanks to Truvy) Miss M bounces back up and stares down the evil Mousers waiting to take a bite out of her.
Miss M: You guys look like you should be cute. But I know better!
Aiming high, Miss M gives one swift kick to a Mouser, causing a short circuit.
Miss M: You're not gonna hurt me! I'm Miss M!
Back up top, Michelangelo finally makes good work against one of the Foot Soldiers. He is very impressed at how Miss M can handle herself.
Michelangelo: I think I'm in love.
While Michelangelo continues the fight against the Foot Soldiers, Miss M ends up in more trouble than she expected.
Miss M: Hey! Put me down!
Dr. Blight: No you insipid pale dork girl! I am going to finish this.
Miss M screams, but nothing can be done. Michelangelo is busy getting punched in the face by the Foot!
Michelangelo: Ow dude! That totally hurt!
Miss M: What do you want with us?
Dr. Blight: You are of no use to me. But the turtle is. Now tell me, do you know anything of the mutagen ooze?
Miss M: No. Now you tell me, are you working with Shredder now? I mean, if so, I am smelling a Captain Planet and Ninja Turtle crossover event that would just be epic!
In an effort to shut Miss M up, Dr. Blight backhands her across the face.
Dr. Blight: Silence! You talk too much!
Miss M: Damn! That really hurt.
Dr. Blight: And it will hurt even more if I have to bring out my instruments! Now tell me what you know of this Michelangelo?
Miss M: I'm not saying a word to you, you crazy bitch!
Dr. Blight: I will slap you again.
Miss M: Not if I don't slap you first!
Jumping up in a move she learned from Eternal Champions, Miss M lands a devastating blow across Dr. Blight's face, knocking the evil doctor back.
Miss M: By the by, I might talk too much, but you sound like Meg Ryan!
Leaning against the opening to the underground sewer eating area, Dr. Blight spits out some blood before growling.
Dr. Blight: You try to poke fun of my voice sounding like Meg Ryan? Well I have something for you, I am Meg Ryan!!!
Miss M stands there in shock looking at Dr. Blight's scarred face.
Miss M: Oh. My. Goodness.
Dr. Blight: Don't you look at me like that! Haven't you ever seen the bad side of a chemical peel before?!
Miss M: I had wondered what happened to Meg Ryan, I just never thought America's Sweetheart would be working for Shredder...
Dr. Blight: You know nothing. Quit pretending as if you are in the 'know.' Now if you can't give me any information, you are as good as dead...
All Miss M can do is gulp.
Michelangelo: (slams the Foot Soldier's face into some pizza) Go ahead, eat your food!
With his work done, Michelangelo looks for Miss M.
Michelangelo: Oh no! My date! Get your hands off her Blight!
With a hand firmly wrapped around Miss M's neck, Dr. Blight gives off a loud maniacal laugh.
Dr. Blight: No one will stop me!
Michelangelo acts quickly and grabs some piping hot pizza from the oven.
Michelangelo: Not so fast Dr. Dudette.
The Ninja Turtle flings the hot pie towards the evil doctor.
Gliding through the air swiftly, the burning hot pizza slams right into Dr. Blight's face. The hot melting cheese burns her skin as the greasy pepperoni stings her eyes.
Howling in screams of agony, Dr. Blight releases her grip around Miss M's neck and falls to the ground.
Miss M: Wow. That looks painful.
Eventually the painful moans of Dr. Blight cease as Michelangelo hops down.
Michelangelo: You ok?
Miss M: Yeah. Why were they attacking us?
Michelangelo: I'm not sure.
In that moment, Dr. Blight sits up ready to strike again before Michelangelo presses a button that lifts the sewer lid up, throwing Dr. Blight down below.
Dr. Blight: You can't do this to me!
Michelangelo: I already did Dr. Dudette!
With all the enemies in one central spot, Michelangelo makes his next move.
Swinging into the air, Michelangelo gives one swift kick to all of them.
Michelangelo: Out you go!
Dr. Blight: You annoying talking turtle!!!!
The villains are knocked through a door into a rather dangerous section of the sewer.
Cursing and yelling at the turtle, the bad guys realize they lost this round.
Miss M: Wow. This has turned out to be some date.
Michelangelo: Tell me about it. Those gnarly dudes were no match for us.
Miss M: I wonder what they really wanted though.
Michelangelo: Why, the mutagen ooze of course.
Miss M: But that doesn't add up.
Michelangelo: Sure it does.
Miss M: Or maybe, they were really after me. I mean, I do feel like someone has been wanting me dead for months now.
Michelangelo: No offense dudette, but I don't think this is about you.
Miss M: I'm not saying it is, but I just don't understand why danger has to always follow me.
Michelangelo: Well, maybe the danger was following me. I think sometimes you might get a little too wrapped up in things.
Miss M: I'm not trying to get wrapped up into anything!
Michelangelo: Maybe my brothers were right...
Miss M: What does that mean? Did your brothers say something about me?
Michelangelo: (blushes slightly) Oh crapola.
Miss M: What did they say?
Michelangelo: It doesn't matter what they said.
Miss M: (raises her voice) Well it does to me!
Michelangelo: Whoa, where did this 'tude come from?
Miss M: Screw this.
Miss M rushes off ready to leave on her own.
Michelangelo: Hey, wait a second. Where are you going?
Miss M: Far from here and this terrible date! There is a reason why I don't go on dates, and you just proved that all over again.
Michelangelo: M, stop, wait. I'm sorry, that was way uncool of me. My brothers only said they thought we weren't really a good match. They didn't think we were good for each other.
Miss M: They're probably right. I knew this would be a bad idea. Let's end this now, before I really screw things up.
Michelangelo: Wait, why would you screw things up?
Miss M: Because that's what I do Michelangelo! I screw everything up. Big time. I'm such a mess. This whole time I was questioning even going on this date, and I thought it would be about you, but I just can't do this. I'm neurotic and sometimes too emotional. I really do think that someone is trying to kill me. I am notorious for making the worst decisions in life. I mean seriously, most people have a filter on knowing what constitutes a good or bad decision, and I somehow missed out on that. I screw up everything! This isn't even all of my hair! The big bun on top, it's covering some singed areas of hair! This just isn't going to work between us. We need to just walk away now.
Michelangelo: But, I don't want to walk away. You, like, are bodacious in every way. I wish you could see that. We've known each other for over twenty years, and I feel like I am still learning new things about you. And yeah, maybe you don't have all your stuff together, but neither do I. I live in a sewer. My father is a rat. My brothers think I'm some doofus with a silly sense of humor. They don't take me seriously at all.
Miss M: Which is a shame, because you are so much more than silly jokes.
Michelangelo: See dudette! That's why I like you so much. M, you get me. You see something more in me that no one else does. You know what I like about you so much?
Miss M: What?
Michelangelo: You actually call me by my whole name. You don't use a nickname or whatever. I love it when you do that. It makes me feel special.
Miss M: Well, you should always feel special. You're a talking turtle with some sweet ninja moves.
Michelangelo: And you have a heart of gold, a heart that even She-Ra would be proud to have. I know that totally sounded grody just now, but you know what I mean. I'm not meaning a real live beating heart.
Miss M: I got ya.
Michelangelo: Come on, don't walk away from this. Who cares what my brothers or anyone else thinks? There's something special between us, nothing can stop us. What do you say?
Miss M: Ok. Let's do this.
They head out of the restaurant in smiles.
Jim: I do apologize for the ruffians that disturbed your date Michelangelo. The authorities will be getting them, assuming that part of the sewer doesn't get them first.
Michelangelo: Thanks Jim.
Jim: And please, allow us to offer your next meal on the house. Our way of apologizing.
Michelangelo: How does that sound?
Miss M: Perfect!
Michelangelo: Great, now come on, we're gonna miss the best part of this night.
Michelangelo takes Miss M outside.
Miss M: I don't understand. What is going on next?
Michelangelo: Well, we were supposed to have a nice dinner and the works, but I also had something special for you. A way of showing you what I see when I look at you. This is how I feel about you. All you have to do is look up.
Miss M: Oh my goodness! Michelangelo, this is so beautiful.
Michelangelo: You are beautiful. Never forget that. We all have something special in us, and this is from my heart, to you.
Miss M: Wow. Just wow. Best. Date. Ever.
Up next! Miss M interviews the Bodacious Baddie for September!