While still on my romantic high from my totally tubular date with Michelangelo, I have realized that the month of September is at a near end and I still have to interview a Bodacious Baddie! I was given top secret coordinates to find this month's vicious fiend, and I am hoping I make it out alive. Ok Diary, I need to get going. Wish me luck! I can't believe I'm telling my diary to wish me luck...
Somewhere in an icy tundra...
Miss M: I think it's safe to say I am totally lost. How in the world do I find this place? I see nothing but crunchy ice and snow for miles! This looks like World 6 in Super Mario Bros. 3. I'm never going to get this interview done.
While walking through the icy wonder world, Miss M eventually comes into contact with another living creature.
Miss M: Oh hello! Thank goodness! I was afraid I'd never find someone. I was wondering if you could point me in the right direction. Or even the left direction. Ha. Get it? (pauses while studying the silent Yeti) It was just a joke.
Yeti: Pop pop?
Miss M: Excuse me? Umm, I just need to find a location. Do you happen to know where 1234 Ice Lane Circle is? I'm late for an interview.
Yeti: Want pop pop?
Miss M: (looks at the frozen tasty treat and sighs) I'm so sorry, but, I really just need help with the location. Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth?
Yeti: (tilts his head) Pop pop?
Miss M: I'm never going home.
As if on cue, someone approaches while brushing the Yeti away.
Miss M: Frosta! I'm surprised to see you here!
Frosta: Really Miss M? Really? You're in my neighborhood.
Miss M: I realize that, I just don't know why you are here.
Frosta: I've been waiting for you! I practically sent a search party after you. We have an interview to get to.
Miss M: But Frosta, I'm interviewing the Bodacious Baddie. You're not a villain.
Frosta: No, I'm not a villain, but I am the baddest bitch around. So why not interview me for the Bodacious spot?
Miss M: I guess that makes sense. So... where is Castle Chill? I'm really cold.
Frosta: Well right this way. You need to warm up. Who wears an outfit like that to the Kingdom of Snows? By the way, do you know that your hair smells like burning?
Miss M: Yes, I know. I had a mishap at Truvy's Beauty Salon a few days ago. I don't want to talk about it.
Frosta: I just love Truvy's Beauty Salon! I trust no one else when it comes to frosting my hair. Come on, let's go. We'll talk the importance of proper hair care along the way.
September 2013 Bodacious Baddie!
Frosta: And here we are, Castle Chill!
Miss M: Umm, that's strange. This looks just like the Crystal Castle.
Frosta: Well it's not darling. This is Castle Chill.
Miss M: Seriously though, this looks like the Crystal Castle. Have you been to the Crystal Castle?
Frosta: Of course I have Miss M. Don't you know who I am? If you must know the truth, Adora had the Crystal Castle modeled after Castle Chill.
Miss M: (slightly skeptical) Really? That's... interesting.
Frosta: Oh calm down. I've got a fire going downstairs for you. I'm going to step away and freshen up. I need to remove this cape. They can be so cumbersome.
Miss M: I wouldn't know, I don't really wear capes. Though I wish I did.
Frosta: Oh you should. Capes just make an outfit.
Frosta smiles while walking away. Miss M travels downstairs to warm herself up.
Miss M: I can't get over this. Castle Chill totally looks like the Crystal Castle. I don't believe this.
Frosta eventually walks into the room.
Frosta: Feeling better?
Miss M: Yes, I don't think the frostbite settled into my toes.
Frosta: Lovely. That would be terrible. Talk about ruining your social life. I once dated a guy who had toe nails that looked like Ruffle's Potato Chips.
Miss M: What does that have to do with frostbite?
Frosta: I don't know. They both involved toes?
Miss M: Ok. Let's get this interview going. Now we have both talked before, but never in a setting like this.
Frosta: (interrupts) I know! I have been patiently waiting. I kept asking She-Ra, "When will Miss M ask me to be interviewed?!" I never thought you'd ask. That's why I tricked you into coming here.
Miss M: Right. Well I am sorry it took so long. But, as I was saying, we have known each other awhile, and I think we need to talk about the pink elephant in the room.
Miss M: Well, you've certainly changed your look over the years. Do you care to comment on any of the plastic surgery rumors?
Frosta: I suppose I should be honest. I am all plastic and it is fantastic! Really, can you believe the work I've had done?
Miss M: What all have you done?
Frosta: Everything. I had my cheeks plumped. They removed the fat around my eyes so they'd pop more. I've even had fat from my butt injected into my lips. Oh and that whole frozen lipo is my favorite. I can go do it in my backyard; just another perk to living in the Kingdom of Snows.
Miss M: Where would you even go for all this work?
Frosta: My plastic surgeons: the Four Horsemen. Actually I like to think of them as plastic creators. They take things that were already stunning and just enhance them more.
Miss M: Well your looks have certainly caused an uproar among some. What do you say to all those who felt your current look was not up to par?
Frosta: Not everyone can be happy. And while I do feel like I need to go back under the knife for a few things here and there, for example my elbows have just been feeling rather strange lately, the basic point is that I do feel satisfied with how I look so far.
Miss M: Yeah.
Frosta: What about you? You look like you're a bit plastic. Have you had any work done?
Miss M: No. Not yet at least. I don't really want to think about that. Let's talk about your career. I've heard that She-Ra: Senior Year has been getting rave reviews. TV Guide was quoted as saying, "This is the best television show. Ever."
Frosta: It's so nice to be on a hit show again. Especially with She-Ra and the gang. It feels like 1985 all over again.
Miss M: Can you give us any teasers about upcoming episodes?
Frosta: Oh of course! We just finished filming episodes for November sweeps and the love triangle with me, He-Man, and Sweet Bee reaches a fevered pitch. Someone ends up at the bottom of a flight of stairs.
Miss M: Oh that sounds good! Do you ever think of yourself as being bad?
Frosta: In some ways. I think that whenever strong women have an attitude it is so easy to paint them as being bitchy or bad. I have a good heart though. I do good things. I recycle.
Miss M: Hmm. That's nice. You're something else Frosta.
Frosta: Thank you. I think so too.
Miss M: Does it ever get lonely being an Empress?
Frosta: I just adore this photo. She-Ra isn't the only tough broad out there, ya know what I'm sayin Miss M?
Miss M: Of course I do.
Frosta: I'm trying to look artsy here, but in reality I am just wishing I had an ice burst accessory. It'd make everything look cooler.
Frosta: Just classic me.
Miss M: I still can't believe your castle looks like the Crystal Castle.
Frosta: It is what it is M. Deal with it.
Frosta: I should have been a model. Instead I had to get involved with fighting against the Horde and Sweet Bee.
Miss M: Do you ever think you could be friends with Sweet Bee?
Frosta: No. Why would I? First off, you just can't trust anyone that has the word 'Sweet' in their name, secondly, all that green eye shadow makes her look like a two bit hook-
Miss M: Let's look at another picture!
Frosta: I just love this pose. I think a good thigh high boot is important for every woman to own. These are custom made, and let me tell you, nothing makes me feel more empowered than my icy thigh high boots. She-Ra's puny gold boots got nothing on me.
Miss M: Well isn't that something? On that note, I think I need to get back home. I have to navigate through the Kingdom of Snows and it looks like it is nighttime out there.
Frosta: Of course. I thank you so much for taking the time to visit with me. See you at the next party.
Miss M: Of course! Now let's hope I get home...
September 2013 Bodacious Baddie