The year is coming to an end. I personally can't believe another year is going by. The year has been pretty thrilling with so many great toy interviews. I've had the great luck of getting to interview some of the best. Of course, then there were three in 2013. Who will they be? Who will get the dubious distinction of being featured in the top three interview spots for the end of the year? Well dear diary, I'm not sayin squat. It will just have to be a glorious surprise. Anyways, I am off. I need to check into the office. April has been hiding out since Thanksgiving. Apparently someone got mad that she knocked over a vat of fried turkey juice drippings on the ground. Supposedly the drippings melded with some radioactive residue from the sewer and has created these really creepy rats that gobble, not to mention some breed of super roach that can withstand freezing temperatures. Eh. Tis the season.
Miss M: Hey April. It's so nice to see you! Where have you been these last few days?
April: Oh, I took some time off for some lunch time procedures and the requisite recovery time.
April: I ate too much over the Thanksgiving holiday. So I had my dermatologist freeze some fat off. While whirling up a batch of my fluff, I had him inject it back into my facial cheeks. I look youthful again!
Miss M: You always look youthful.
Miss M: I don't think Ms. Fox comes from the zoo.
April: Whatever. I don't have time to discuss these matters. I'm late for an appointment. I would imagine you know what you need to do for the day?
April: Great. No reason to think this month will be any different.
Miss M: Do you ever wonder though April? Wonder what would happen if things were different, if life just changed dramatically?
December 2013 Heroic Hottie!
Sea Hawk: That antiquated stereotype of a pirate voice offends me Miss M.
Miss M: Oh, that's ok. I've never dreamt of being a pirate or anything like that. I don't know that I could really hang with pirates. Don't get me wrong, I totally loved you guys in the original Lego sets that came out last century, but I don't know how I feel about living on a ship with no central plumbing. And then there's all that scurvy and dude smells. I mean, it just sounds like a nightmare. I'm too cute for all that.
Miss M: (shakes her head in a serious fashion) No, no. I'm pretty sure I know how it is. I wouldn't last a second. I like flowers and looking pretty. Smelling nice too. A pirate's life is not for me. I must say though, you have got to be the most buff pirate I have ever seen. I don't recall you ever looking this ripped.
Sea Hawk: It's hard out there for a pirate. You've gotta deal with poachers. The Horde. Johnny Depp. There's always something.
Miss M: And that's not even counting matters of the heart! (narrows eyes) You know what I mean.
Sea Hawk: Gawd. Why do you have to be such a dorkette?
Miss M: It's in my dorky DNA.
Miss M: Wow. Way to ruin Christmas. Tell me how you really feel.
Sea Hawk: I will. As soon as I finish my ale.
Miss M: Whatever. I think the story was perfect. Adora/She-Ra was not meant to get her man in the end. The story was always about her and her journey to finding her own honor. Besides, it was an open ending for the sole purpose that there is always more story to tell.
Sea Hawk: Sounds like a real boring chick piece.
Miss M: Well you just lack an imagination.
Miss M: Bow is so not a wimp! He is like the hottest thing since shaved ham.
Sea Hawk: That is sickening.
Miss M: Your Bow-a-phobia is sickening.
Sea Hawk: My aren't you feisty?
Miss M: Please. I'm not going home with you. I'm in a happy relationship with a Ninja Turtle.
Sea Hawk: I wasn't asking. No offense dorkette, but you aren't my type. I like tall blonds with a fighting chance.
Miss M: I'm, like, a fighter.
Just then, someone interrupts the interview: Octavia!
Miss M: Gulp. I'm a lover, not a fighter. Please don't let me fight you.
Miss M: Oh quiet pirate.
Miss M: Ok. Is that all?
Octavia: (turns to leave) That is all. As for you pirate, our past skirmishes are far from over. Next time your head will be on one of my swords.
Miss M: So yeah. That was strange. What's even stranger is that I have to interview Hordak. Of all people.
Miss M: Well I mean, I knew what I was signing up for when I agreed to interview a Bodacious Baddie every month. I've had to talk to some of the world's most dangerous villains and hoodlums. By all accounts I should be long gone by now. I mean, no one walks away from an interview with Skeletor and lives to tell about it, know what I mean?
Miss M: Well whatever! Interviewing villains is not an easy job and I would be lying if I said I was slightly worried about interviewing Hordak. I mean, it feels like someone has been trying to kill me this year. But that's just ridiculous. Right?
Miss M: What?
Sea Hawk: I think you really need to get a life.
Miss M: Humph. That was just rude. Are we done? I've got a date with my nunchuck skilled boyfriend to go Christmas shopping for our friends. I'd rather do that than talk to the second runner up for She-Ra's affections!
Sea Hawk: I don't believe it. You would have She-Ra fall in love with Bow over me, a handsome devilish pirate?
Sea Hawk: I bet. Listen darlin, this was nice, but I have plans of my own. Enjoy your date with the turtle. See ya.
Miss M: Yeah. See ya.
As the two say good bye, Miss M looks around and smiles. Another interview down. Two more to go. Before she can get to the good stuff though, she needs to go on a shopping date. Ah the romance of a dorkette and a Ninja Turtle. Could anything be more grody?
December 2013 Heroic Hottie!