April 2014 Bodacious Baddie!

Previously on All My Toys...

After her fall from the After Life right into the body of Moth Lady, Miss M has been on a journey to convince someone that she is indeed the real deal. Of course her entire reason for returning to Earth was to find some mysterious dragon figurine for Maleficent, so maybe that plot point will get wrapped up eventually.

In other news, a renegade group of powerhouse females calling themselves the Cat Ladies are trying to solve the mystery surrounding Miss M's death. Their sleuthing skills have led them on a trip to the sewer in search of the Rat King. In similar sewer news, She-Ra has been looking for her friend (and maybe secret love) Sea Hawk. With the help of Wonder Woman the two women have found out that a fellow by the name of (wait for it) the Rat King might know where the pirate is at.

Also, Miss M found the perfect chance to prove her existence and love to Michelangelo at a fancy fundraiser to save the Wii U. The goal: true love's kiss. That act of desperation totally backfired and in an attempt to end her sadness and the mental war for control over Moth Lady's body, Miss M threw herself off the side of a mountain. So now, let's see if Miss M is ready to embrace the After Life once more!

Get ready to fall...

for the...

April 2014 Bodacious Baddie!

Miss M: So this is what it feels like to die a second time?

Miss M: I feel like I've been falling forever.

Miss M: How high up is this damn mountain?

Miss M: Oh goodness, just wake me when it's over.

And suddenly out of nowhere the plot thickens!

Batman swoops in slamming into Miss M hard.

Miss M: Uff! What the what?
Batman: Hold on! I've got you.

With Miss M firmly in his arms, Batman glides to the ground safely. Letting her go, Miss M stands up shaking her head.

Miss M: What did you do that for?!

Batman: I patrol Gotham City and the surrounding areas. I happened to see you fall and I wanted to make sure I caught you before you hit the rocks.
Miss M: I didn't fall. I jumped. Why would someone with wings just fall?
Batman: I'm not sure. I...

Miss M: (cuts him off) Next time try not to be some hero Batman. I don't need some knight in dark armor to swoop in and save me. I jumped! I wanted to die. Don't you get that? And you just screwed everything up! Freakin a-hole!
Batman: Excuse me? I just saved your life.

Miss M: I didn't ask you to. I was in control of my actions. Now get out of my damn way because I have to go do this all over again.
Batman: I'm not going to let you do that.
Miss M: Oh give me a Kit Kat! Really? Since when did you become the morality police?! Get out of my freakin way Batbrain.

Batman: I am not going to let you splatter your body all over these rocks. That is not fair for the people in your life let alone for the person that would be responsible for cleaning up your mess.
Miss M: I don't have anyone that cares about me.
Batman: Well where do you live? I can drop you off at your house and alert the appropriate authorities.

Miss M: Ha! I had a home once. When my life was far different than it is now. I'm homeless. I live under a bridge. In my own filth. So do you want to drop me off there?
Batman: I do not know what you have been through, but obviously you have been through a lot. What can I do to help you?
Miss M: Help me? The great Batman wants to help me? That's insane. No one wants to help me. They all think I'm evil, a real villain. Maybe that's what I've become. If I can't jump off this mountain again, at least put me out of my misery.

Batman: I'm not going to do that. I'll do this instead. (Batman removes his mask.)

Miss M: What in the world!? Bruce Wayne? Is this some sort of joke?
Batman: I assure you, this is not a joke.
Miss M: Oh. My. Goodness. Super wealthy playboy Bruce Wayne is the crime fighting Batman? What world am I living in? Why would you show me your identity?
Batman: I wanted you to trust me, to know that I'm here to help you. What better way than to show you who I really am. Now who are you?
Miss M: You wouldn't believe me. You'd think I was crazy.
Batman: That's ok. You can trust me. You don't have to talk right now, but at least let me take you some place safe so we can sort things out.
Miss M: There's nothing to sort out.
Batman: Humor me then. I just shared something with you that most people don't know, just give me a chance.
Miss M: (thinks it over) Ok. I'll go with you. But if it's all bogus I'm finishing what I started!
Batman: Fine.

The two walk off into the night.

Deep in the sewer system of the city, the Cat Ladies make their way towards the Rat King's lair!

 

Tigra: I feel like I should invest in shoes after this.

Cheetah: Yeah. I hope we don't get foot rot from walking down here.

Black Cat: Ladies! Didn't we tell you we were going into the sewers. I don't like it either, but at least I'm prepared.
Tigra: You look totally prepared with your jump suit that can't even zip all the way up.
Black Cat: It can zip up, I just choose not to! I am confident.

Catwoman: We're all confident ladies. Let's just focus on the job at hand. We need to find the Rat King.

Catra: (purrs) Exactly.

The group stops as they hear the swift speed of their team mate Cheetara approaching!

Cheetara: I scouted ahead, and he is indeed there, all alone. We totally have this in the bag. Let's tread carefully though, he looks like he can be some work.

Soon enough the Cat Ladies arrive in the dank smelly lair of the Rat King!

Rat King: (grins) Looks like my dreams have finally come true. Who are these beautiful ladies? Have you all come to see me?

Black Cat: It would appear so hot stuff.
Rat King: Oh my, you'd all make lovely pets.

Tigra: How does he not get the irony in this? Rats don't have cats for pets.
Cheetara: All right Cat Ladies! Pounce!

Moments later...

Rat King: Blast you foolish women! I'll skin you all alive and feed you to my rats!!

Catwoman: We'd love to see you try. Do you have any valuables?
Catra: Tell us what you know about the death of Miss M.
Rat King: I know nothing of a Miss M.
Cheetara: Wrong answer. Go ahead Cheetah.

Cheetah: (twists her nails into his arm) Come on Rat King, don't be an idiot.
Rat King: Your actions on me do nothing! I am the Rat King! Soon my pets will descend upon you all and then we'll see who will be the predator and who the prey!
Black Cat: Oh my lawd. This is not that difficult. We just need some answers. We'll let you go and do whatever it is that a Rat King does. We lost a friend and word on the street is that you were involved with the people who might know what happened to her.

Rat King: (studies the women) All I know is that a blond with tattoos and Hordak were working together on some secret project.
Catra: I know this already. Give us more to go off of!
Rat King: Ah! You should already know this then! The blond had originally been working with a team of villains. They wanted me to join but I was too busy. The blond favored the man with the skull face.

Catra: You mean Skeletor?
Rat King: Is there another?
Cheetara: Go on.
Rat King: That's all I know. If you want answers I'd start with him. I bet he knows everything.

The Cat Ladies look at each other.

Black Cat: Anyone know how to get to Snake Mountain?
Catra: I've been there before. I think I can recall my way back.
Catwoman: Well that was easy!
Tigra: Too easy. What are we getting into now?
Catra: We're getting into Snake Mountain. Come on, let's go!

The Cat Ladies leave.

Rat King: Wait! Stop! You said you'd free me! Those damn Cat Ladies!!

A few moments later, the Rat King hears some footsteps.

Rat King: Ah yes, they returned!

The Rat King curses once She-Ra and Wonder Woman enter the lair.

She-Ra: Looks like someone has already done our work for us. Hello Rat King.
Rat King: Who are you?
She-Ra: I'm going to be the one that helps you, if you know how to help us. We're here for Sea Hawk.
Rat King: Sea Hawk?
Wonder Woman: Do not play coy King of Rats. We have it on excellent authority that the pirate known as Sea Hawk was brought here by you.

Rat King: (grins again) I may have brought a pirate here, yes.
She-Ra: What did you want with him?
Rat King: I can't divulge that bit of information.
She-Ra: Then where is he?
Rat King: Not really sure. You see, my little pet was gone by the time I came back.
Wonder Woman: You have no idea where he could have gone?
Rat King: No, not exactly. My pet rats though were able to show me that the pirate was not alone. Some man with a purple and blue head was here, took my pirate pet right on out of the sewer. I have nothing else to say until you set me free.

She-Ra: You've said enough. That sounds like Two-Bad. Come on Wonder Woman, we're going to Snake Mountain.
Wonder Woman: Ugh. Snake Mountain? That sounds worse than the sewer.

She-Ra: What's the matter, can't handle a little grossness?
Wonder Woman: Bite your tongue warrior woman. I can handle anything. I'd just rather not. Snakes are a sign of male patriarchy trying to rob women of their creativity...
She-Ra: Where did you hear that from?

Wonder Woman: My home world of Themyscira.
She-Ra: Sometimes I think the people that brought you up did a number on you. I don't think it works like that.
Wonder Woman: I'd rather not get into the conversation of parents at this time.
She-Ra: Try my parents. Did you know that Hordak pretended to be my father once?
Wonder Woman: This is why I was told men could not be trusted.
She-Ra: And yet you are dating the world's most well known super hero, how does that work out?
Wonder Woman: I'll let you know when I've figured it out. Either way, let us retreat from this place.

She-Ra nods in agreement and just like that both women are off and about, leaving the Rat King behind.

Rat King: Someone else will come along. No doubt about it. Someone else will come along...

While the Rat King waits, Batman and Miss M head to Wayne Manor in the Batmobile.

Batman: Is the ride fine?

Miss M: I suppose. It's been awhile since I've been in a car.
Batman: I don't think you've told me your name yet.

Miss M: It's Miss M. Though some people call me M.

Batman: What's the M stand for?
Miss M: I don't know you well enough to share that...
Batman: Fair enough. So do you have a job?
Miss M: I did. I lost it. Like I lost everything. Why are you asking me so many questions?
Batman: Just trying to know more about you. That's all.

Miss M: How far are we?
Batman: Not much longer.
Miss M: So if you are really Bruce Wayne, but also Batman, do any other heroic types know who you are?
Batman: Maybe some do. Superman and Wonder Woman are in my circle.

Miss M: (whispers to herself) I can't believe they never told me! Some friends they were...
Batman: Did you say something?
Miss M: Nothing. I guess I just don't understand why you would trust me with your identity.
Batman: Not really sure. There was just something about you...

The two ride off into the night heading towards their eventual destination: Wayne Manor.

Batman: Here we are.
Miss M: You just drive up to the front of Wayne Manor in the Batmobile, like it's nothing?

Batman: It's dark out, no one is around. Besides, I may trust you with my identity, but I don't know you well enough to show you the location to the Bat Cave.
Miss M: That logic makes no sense.

Batman: It doesn't have to. I get it and that's all that matters.

They walk inside.

Batman: This is my home, please feel comfortable.
Miss M: Wow. I haven't been inside a place like this ever. Even when I was alive the first time.
Batman: Excuse me?
Miss M: (pauses carefully) Sorry. Ignore me.
Batman: I don't think it is possible to ignore you. You have giant wings on your back.
Miss M: I know. I hate them. They're slimy.
Batman: (chuckles) Remind me to put covers over the chairs.
Miss M: (half smiles) That was not very funny.
Batman: I saw a smile. You look like you could use more of those.
Miss M: (looks away) You have no idea.
Batman: I'm going to find Alfred really quick.
Miss M: Who is Alfred? Don't tell me... am I going to meet the real Robin?
Batman: (shakes head) No. Alfred works for me. He makes sure that Wayne Manor runs smoothly.
Miss M: So in other words he's a butler and you're a rich white guy with first world problems?
Batman: You don't have to say it like that...
Miss M: Just trying to make you smile!
Batman: (grins) Try harder.

Batman walks away.

Miss M: Holy cow, so this is what it looks like to be in a mansion?

A few moments later...

Miss M: Oh, you changed.
Bruce: Yes. I didn't want to be wearing the suit all night. Alfred is getting some things together for you, so I will walk you to your room.
Miss M: You really don't have to do that. I could just sleep right here and it'd probably be the best night of my life.

Bruce: Nonsense. Stop being so Middle Earth. Come on, follow me.
Miss M: Ok.

The two walk upstairs as Miss M marvels at her surroundings.

Miss M: How long have you lived here?
Bruce: My whole life.
Miss M: It's just you and Alfred?
Bruce: Sometimes Robin and Batgirl. Or even Superman when he just wants a place to get away. I have a killer man cave.
Miss M: I bet.

They stop in front of a room.

Bruce: This is your room.
Miss M: Is it a padded cell?
Bruce: Why would you say something like that?
Miss M: No reason. (pauses) Thank you Mr. Wayne.
Bruce: You can call me Bruce.
Miss M: Thank you.

Bruce wishes her a good night and prepares to leave.

Miss M: Bruce, wait.
Bruce: Yes?
Miss M: I was a writer... when you asked me what I did before... I was a writer. Not a very good one, but a writer nonetheless.
Bruce: (smiles warmly) Thank you for telling me.
Miss M: No problem.
Bruce: See you in the morning. Goodnight M.
Miss M: Goodnight.

She walks into her room, and quietly closes the door behind her. Tears stream down her face and she has no idea why. But for now, she knows she'll be able to have a good night's sleep for the first time in what feels like forever.

In another part of the mansion, Bruce makes his way into the Bat Cave.

Bruce: Hmm. A writer. Well all right.

After taking a seat and looking over the city, Bruce buzzes in for Alfred.

Bruce: Alfred, how is our guest?
Alfred: She has new sheets on her bed and has been cleaning herself up. Is there anything you would require of me Master Wayne?
Bruce: No Alfred. Oh wait... there is something.
Alfred: Yes Master Wayne?
Bruce: I'm going to need some help finding out whatever we can on a writer named Miss M.
Alfred: Isn't that the same name of our guest?

Bruce: Yes. It is. I just want to learn more about her...

Meanwhile...

With the Save the Wii U gala over with, Mila Rosnovsky stands around, a feeling of triumph in the air.

Mila: This was like the best charity event ever. (looks around) You can come out now. Everyone left.

Foot steps echo across the rented museum as the face of evil rounds a corner.

Velvet Sky: Hello Mila.

Mila: Hello, sister. (editor's note: Scream in shock!)
Velvet Sky: Look at my baby sister. You look like a woman who just raised us a ton of money.
Mila: Of course I did. I, like, love money.

Velvet Sky: Great. Now give me my cut.

Mila: Not so fast! I totes need some of this money too. I'm, like, totes tired of funding your wrestling comeback career.
Velvet Sky: Too bad little sister. You know the damage that was done to me by that article. I lost everything! Now you have the chance to give it all back. I need more funds.

Mila: O.M.G.Dawg! I can't always get you stocks, bonds, and dividends!
Velvet Sky: Well what about Luigi? Didn't you work your tarty little magic and snag yourself a husband?
Mila: Luigi wasn't able to be here. It was his boring brother Mario instead.
Velvet Sky: Just figure it out Mila. Ever since mother cut us off we've been struggling to make it. I can't have anything ruin my plans to be back on top in the world of wrestling!
Mila: And I totes have my dreams too! I want to take down Sydney Rutledge!

Velvet Sky: Whatever. Just fix this mess.
Mila: Sure.

Velvet Sky gets ready to leave.

Mila: Sky, wait.
Velvet Sky: What?
Mila: Did you do anything to that dork girl that wrote that nasty article about you?
Velvet Sky: Of course not. I'm not a killer Mila.

Velvet Sky leaves her sister alone.

Mila: Kay.

With the night chilling into a steady darkness, other devious acts occur in a top secret lab.

Footsteps tap across cool metal.

Dr. Blight: I've got an update for you. You are right, something has happened with the force.

The sound of gurgles and other grody noises ring out in the room as heavy foot steps clamber towards Dr. Blight.

It's Mutagen Man!! What deviousness could this foul creature be up to? Read on dear reader!

Mutagen Man: Give me the results.
Dr. Blight: Why are you even doing this? All for her?

Mutagen Man: Do not question me woman!

Dr. Blight: I am a doctor!
Mutagen Man: You lost your license when you fell in love with your computer.
Dr. Blight: How dare you. I never should have contained your intelligence.

Mutagen Man: Be gone devil woman! I am the smartest man in the universe, held together in a blasted tube. Look at me, I'm a monster.
Dr. Blight: Just remember Mutagen Man, you might be smart, but I just need to pour you down the drain and then you'd be out of my hair.
Mutagen Man: Go make love to your computer.

Dr. Blight: (walks off) I loathe you!

Mutagen Man walks around his lab setting his gaze upon his pet Blurp.

Mutagen Man: It has been four months, twelve days, two hours, and 37 seconds since the light of my life died. I've loved her from afar for so long, and in an instant Miss M was gone. I've never gotten over that loss Blurp.

Blurp: Blurp.
Mutagen Man: That is right. No one can compare to her loveliness, not even my old crush April O'Neil. No, the day that Miss M died was the day my heart deflated in this tube. But you see Blurp, something strange has happened. The light that I had been recording and following, the light that was meant for her has somehow come back on my readings. How is that possible Blurp? How?
Blurp: Blurp.
Mutagen Man: What did you dare say to me?
Blurp: Blurp.

Mutagen Man: Talk to the hand!

Blurp: Blurp.
Mutagen Man: I know what I am talking about! Her light has returned! I feel that the impossible is now possible again. Somehow Miss M is alive on Earth. And I will find her. Once I do I will make her my bride. I will not miss out. I've been given a second chance. What do you say Blurp? The Mutagen Man will prevail!!

April 2014 Bodacious Baddie!

Whew! Now that April is over, I'm off to respond to comments! Get ready though, things heat up for your favorite toys in May! It's all leading to the mega event that everyone will be buzzing about in July. No, not SDCC, but the Second Annual Conference of Evil! Take care everyone.