Saturday, April 19, 2014

April 2014 Heroic Hottie!

Dear Diary,

Living under a bridge with a pet roach is draining. The food is rotten. Literally. I'm still trapped in the body of Moth Lady and her inner psych is still trying to kick me out. I miss my old friends when I was alive the first time and in my original body. I know I was returned to the living by Maleficent in hopes of finding some silly dragon figurine, but Maleficent's wishes can wait! She tricked me and now I walk through the shadow of the valley of poverty and take a look at my life and realize: it sucks! The only thing I've been able to do for now has been to stalk, lovingly, the former people in my life. In fact, I think that is just what I'll do. I'm going to lovingly stalk Michelangelo and see what he is up to. Maybe he'll realize the position I'm in and just love me, love me, say that he'll love me. Oh diary, help me. I really miss music. Of course, living under the bridge means I get to dance to the sounds of the local discotheque where the music is loud and drunken brawls practically occur every night. I miss civilized life. Oh well, farewell for now diary!

-Miss M


Irma and April walk into a familiar space.

Irma: April, are you sure we can do this?
April: Why not? This old G.I. Joe base has been abandoned for years. No one uses it. It's the perfect place to interview this month's Heroic Hottie!

Irma: Cool. But April, why are you here with me? I can interview the Heroic Hottie on my own.
April: About that... listen Irma, I know you get a little boy crazy. And this Heroic Hottie is pretty hot. I just don't want you to get distracted by talking to him. Know what I mean?
Irma: Whatever April! I'm not that boy crazy. You make me sound like some sort of tart. Look at me? Do I look like a tart?
April: Hrm... It is always the unsuspecting ones...
Irma: I'm chalking that up to your witty comedic timing.
April: What ever you say Irma.

Suddenly, a voice of hotness fills the air...

Captain America: Are you ready for me?

April 2014 Heroic Hottie!!!

Captain America: Hello ladies. Is this the location for the, um, Heroic Hottie interview?
April: Yes. Hello Captain America. I'm April O'Neil. I covered the news during that alien invasion in New York.
Captain America: Ah yes, the alien invasion. I remember talking to you briefly at the press conference.

April: Yes, well I won't be bothering you. Irma here will be doing the interview. I'm just here to... supervise.
Captain America: I see.

Irma: Oh wow. He's a dream boat hunk! A real American Hero!

April: Irma, that's G.I. Joe you are thinking of. Now please, let's not drool all over ourselves ok? Professionalism! Hold fast to professionalism!
Irma: I'm just so frazzled by all this. I mean April, come on! You can't stand there and tell me this guy is not a dream boat hunk!
April: I can honestly say that. 
Irma: Holy cow I get to interview Captain America...

Captain America: Umm, ladies? As interesting as this is, do you hear any strange noises?
Irma: (dreamy eyes) I can only hear the sound of our beating hearts.
April: (rolls her eyes) Oh Irma.
Captain America: This is an abandoned G.I. Joe base, correct?
Irma: Yeah. No one has really seen G.I. Joe in awhile. 
Captain America: If you don't mind, I'd like to tour the area. Something seems dangerous.

Irma: Umm, ok. But don't go too far! My eyes will hurt in your absence. 
April: Oh Irma. Go sit in a tub of ice. I wonder why he walked off?
Irma: Maybe he went to change into something more comfortable?
April: Only in your dreams.

Moments later...

Captain America: Yep! I knew it. Hydra was infiltrating an old G.I. Joe base. 
Hydra Soldier: HAIL HYDRA!

Captain America: Sorry Hydra, world domination will have to occur another day. I'm trying to be interviewed here.

Captain America: All right, all Hydra soldiers are clear in this area. Everything ok on your end April and Irma? 
April: (dusts herself off from punching out some Hydra soldiers) Oh yeah. I've been in these situations before. Just with more turtles and smelly feet.
Captain America: I don't see how what you are describing is comparable to this mayhem, but I'll take your word for it.
Irma: (sighs) Forget taking the words, why don't you take my hand. I'm scared!

Captain America rushes off calling for April and Irma to follow.

April: Now Irma, you know damn well that you are not scared.
Irma: I know. But Cap is old school. He likes his ladies to be in distress. I mean, that's how it was in the olden days before he was turned into a Popsicle right?


Captain America: (in response to questions posed by Irma) I suppose I like long walks on the beach. To tell you the truth I haven't done much dating. The women in my day were tough as nails. If I were to date someone in this new and strange century, I'd want her to be a tough cookie.
Irma: Well that makes sense! I'm tough and I totally like cookies.
Captain America: Cool. I like cookies too. Be right back. I see some more Hydra Soldiers.

Irma: Did you hear that April? We both like cookies.
April: There is so much wrong with this conversation I wouldn't even know where to start. 
Irma: Hush April. I want to watch him in action.

Captain America: (calls out to Irma and April while thrashing some Hydra) Some people think there's something brewing between Black Widow and myself. She's a great gal, though a bit complicated. Tony Stark has told me that complicated women are the best kind to get to know, something about the challenge leading to fireworks in the bedroom, but I don't know. Fireworks in the bedroom seems like a dangerous scenario. I'm just trying to make sure the world is safe, not putting out a fire in my bedroom. Ya know?

Irma: He's such a hero.
April: A hero who is still needing to learn more about lingo in the 21st Century. Even you would be running circles around him in the romance department. Ok enough of the lusting about. Let's focus. It doesn't have to always be about love and romance. Ask him about his documentary.
Irma: Oh yeah! But can I just look at those arms a little longer?
April: No Irma! Focus!
Irma: Oh all right. Cap, your docu-action drama about the Winter Soldier played well and made a ton of money proving that documentaries are the best. What's it like to have your action filled life taped and played at the movies?

Captain America: (sizes up his competition) It's interesting. I'm glad to know that people want to see stories involving freedom and the spirit of the super hero that is in every one of us. This looks like a lot of work, but really, anyone can do it. We're all heroes in our own way. No matter what we do. We're all in this together; to stop Hydra!

An epic battle commences that Irma tries to capture in photo...

April: Damn it Irma! Take the pictures! We have to share this with the readers! 
Irma: I'm trying April! But the button is stuck. 
April: Crap! Your camera is busted. (gets mesmerized in all the action) Oh wow, if I were Hydra, I'd never try to act up again.
Irma: Goodness, he is so hot.
April: Quiet Irma, he is approaching!

Captain America walks up to the journalists with his helmet off.

April: (speechless) Oh. My. He is really dreamy.
Irma: Told you April. 

Captain America: Sorry about that. Hydra cells have been popping out from every which way. We live in strange times.
Irma: Strange times indeed, but it's nice that some things can always stay the same. Like Heroic Hotties.
Captain America: Ah yes. The interview. What exactly does a 'Heroic Hottie' mean?

Irma: Go ahead April. Explain it to Captain America.
April: (sighs) I wish Miss M were here. She could just take on all this foolishness.
Captain America: Ok. I'm not understanding this. 
April: The Heroic Hottie is a designation given to the heroes that make us swoon. Every month they are posted with an accompanying interview. You were picked for April, for your bravery and ideals that work to make the world a better place.
Irma: You're also way dreamy. Way.
April: Feel free to ignore her.
Captain America: It's ok. I like it. This new world I live in has taken some getting used to, but I don't mind it. 
April: Ok, so what are your plans for the future Cap?

Captain America: I will be appearing with the Avengers soon for another team up. The world is begging to see us go up against Ultron. It should be interesting. I might also try to actually go on a date.
Irma: Oh, I'm currently sing... 
April: (quickly interrupts) Pay no attention to her! I thank you for taking the time to be interviewed and to clean up some Hydra.
Captain America: It was my pleasure.
Irma: (sighs dreamily) Bye Captain America.
Captain America: Farewell Irma. And please, call me Steve.

April 2014 Heroic Hottie

Irma: Did you hear that April? He told me to call him Steve.
April: Yes, I heard.
Irma: (sighs) Steve Rogers. Irma and Steve. Steve and Irma. Mrs. Captain America. Mrs. Irma Rogers. Mr. Steve Langinstein... oh the possibilities!
April: Calm down hon. I'm going back to the office, I suggest you... find a tub with some ice in it. 
Irma: He'd make for the perfect super hero themed wedding!
April: Good bye Irma!

April walks off and heads to her office...

April: I'm glad you could meet me. I know it took a lot for you to get here, but I've just been really worried about you. 

Michelangelo: I'm fine April. Totally gnarly.
April: I don't believe it. You have been locked up in the house ever since M died. Your brothers have been worried about you. They've had to find recruits to help them fight against Shredder and the Foot. You can't keep yourself locked up forever Mikey. 

Michelangelo: Maybe I want to stay locked up. Why leave? What's the point of going out and doing anything anymore, huh dudette?
April: There's plenty! Miss M would not want you wasting your life in her old bedroom listening to Morrissey. You gotta snap out of it! And I know just the thing.
Michelangelo: Really? And what's that?
April: You are going with me to a charity event.
Michelangelo: No way dudette.
April: Come on Mikey. I need you there with me. It'd be a great chance for you to get out of the house and mingle with other people. Plus, I need your party spirit for this event. Big time.

Michelangelo: What's the charity for?
April: Ok so this annoying girl named Mila used to work for me. She was tiresome. Anyways, she left and decided to get an event together about saving the Wii U from extinction. I thought she was a rich crack pot, but she actually went and did it. She is having a gala event to help save the Wii U! Everyone who is everyone is going to be there and since I took a journalistic oath to report all news to the public, I have to go. And I need you with me. Please.
Michelangelo: (thinks about it for a sec) Will there be good food?
April: I'm sure. Probably even pizza.
Michelangelo: Cowabunga! I'll go. But only because M would want me to get out. 
April: Great! 

As the two continue to talk, neither notice Miss M (trapped in Moth Lady's body) peeking through the window.

Miss M: (sighs) Oh there he is. My love. Oh Michelangelo, I miss you so much.

Miss M: So it's settled. I'm going to find a way to attend that Wii U charity and I will get Michelangelo to finally see that I am here, right in front of him. It really pays to stalk him. Soon I'll be reunited with my love... it'll just have to be in this rickety body.
Moth Lady: (screams from inside their shared minds) Not so fast girly! I'm clawing my way through this brain mush and I'm going to be free! You hear me! Free! I'll be in control of my body once more and there's nothing you can do to stop me!
Miss M: (mentally slaps Moth Lady with words) Oh yes I will. Love will save the day Moth Lady. Love always saves the day.

Happy with her new plan, Miss M rushes off back to her home under the bridge with her pet Roach for company. And a nightly brawl at the local discotheque. 

Up next! 
Well, do I really have to say it? Oh, and Batman jumps into the story in April! Don't go anywhere!


  1. nice love how erma went man crazy for captain america while he was even fighting hydra plus nice to see april making mikey finaly stop being a shut in. and can't wait to see if toy miss m does prove that love wins in the end to moth woman.

    1. Yeah, I loved how Irma was boy crazy in the cartoon so it only made sense that she'd be boy crazy here. I'm hoping love wins out in the end too demoncat!

  2. As soon as I saw April and Irma in Joe HQ I immediately got to thinking what would their GI Joe code names be? I figured they would be "Hot Scoop" and "Horn Rim" respectively.

    Looks like you went out and bought the Covert Cap action figure after seeing "Winter Soldier". I actually dig this subdued suit more than I thought I would. However, the photos taken from the set of "Avengers: Age of Ultron" show Cap in another completely different costume.

    First he had the USO Show suit, than the World War 2 classic, he got a new outfit for the Avengers, The Convert Ops Costume, then he went civvies for the rest of Winter Soldier before going back to the WW2 suit. Now Age of Ultron seems to combine little bits of each.

    Thor and Iron Man also had little tweaks with each appearance as well. I almost wonder if its a conspiracy by the toy companies. "Make sure the heroes have a new costume for each new film so that we can justify a new toy each time."

    Oh well. At least you put the "action" in "action figure". I always dig it when you're able to capture some motion poses. Tell me though, does the mask come off or do you have two figures, one with the helmet and one without?

    I expected a gag along the lines of Irma gushing over Cap and asking why April isn't doing the same. Then April would retort "He sounds too much like Casey to come off as sexy." The joke being that Chris Evans voiced Casey in the 2007 Turtles animated movie.

    As far as superhero romance is concerned, I think Cap and Black Widow work better as friends. Plus Natasha was wearing that arrow shaped necklace through the whole movie. I think even Cap would be able to figure out that meant she was going steady with Hawkeye.

    As far as the comics are concerned, I thought Cap and Scarlet Witch would make a cute couple. Maybe because both of them are such mainstays of the Avengers book. Its a pity that the universes separate him from Wonder Woman. That'd be some real Star Spangled Steam right there.

    1. I love the G.I. Joe code names you made up for April and Irma! That is priceless! I also completely forgot that Chris Evans voiced Casey in the 2007 movie. I just remember Sarah Michelle Gellar playing the voice of April. At least I think she was the voice for April during that movie. I may need to double check.

      I like the new costume, it looks nice. I do agree with your thoughts though, it does feel like the super heroes have to look different each time to help sell the toys. Of course, that is if the toys can even be found. The smaller figures are always high in number, but the nicer collector grade ones are always harder to come by. Darn it! lol

      Also, it was just one figure. He came with an extra helmet-less head to swap on. It's pretty cool. I like touches like that. It was one of the reasons I went and purchased this figure.

      I like Cap and Black Widow together because of their romance in the comics, but I do like the idea of Cap and Scarlet Witch and even more so Wonder Woman! He seems like he'd be respectful of her while also being able to explore an epic romance. And I totally forgot all about the hinted romance with Black Widow and Hawkeye. I didn't even connect the dots with her arrow necklace. lol I am so slow.

    2. The 2007 Turtles movie with thick with name actors. In addition to those two there was also Laurence Fishburne, Patrick Stewart, Kevin Smith, Nolan North, Mako, James Arnold Taylor, Kevin Michael Richardson, etc. It was great to recognize all these voices because it distracted me from how little sense the story made. Something about monsters from another dimension, planet aligning, a secret society of immortals and Leo living away from the other in South America to learn how to be a better leader by hiding in a cave... I think.

      While I remember the animation fondly, this movie was the worst possible entry for someone like me who (at the time) had never seen the Ninja Turtles before and had no idea who they were, and was more than a little mad that there was no effort to bring us up to speed.

      Plus it had another strike against it, as I had wanted to see it when it came out and Matt had expressed interest in seeing it as well. This was during Spring Break so there was only a certain amount of free time when we could go see it and Matt kept disappearing for the whole day without telling anyone were he was going. Last night of Spring Break he comes home and goes straight to bathroom, to take a 45 minute shower. Then when Mom gave him both barrels about how I had been waiting on him all day, he started whining about how he didn't have any money. Theres a reason why I don't ask if he wants to go to the movies anymore; unless I can get his girlfriend to agree first, then he goes along quietly.

      *steps off soapbox*

      Cap and Natasha probably also have that "opposites attract" boost. He's the American soldier, she's the Russian spy. Cap would certainly be quite the catch, and I'm kind of disappointed that I haven't been able to find some sort of What If story with Cap not freezing and perhaps settling down with Peggy. I thought it was sweet how she kept his pre-Serum photo at the end and how she loved the man and not just the uniform.

      Speaking of comic book romance, didn't you say on the Geek Fallout podcast that you're reading the new Superman/Wonder Woman crossover title? I'm curious how that is. I just remember reading about their new 52 relationship, not really having much of a reaction other than "sounds like a sales gimmick, at least it doesn't involve someone dying". So I'm interested in seeing how it plays out.

  3. The only thing it's missing is an action shot of April decking a Hydra goon. :)

    1. Hey Dex! I wanted to put one of those pics in the story. I just couldn't make it work. What I might do is an outtakes version like I did last year and include that picture. It would have been awesome. Thanks for the comment and I hope you are doing well!

  4. Cap is great-though I haven't seen Winter Soldier (It's tough when all your friends are married and you aren't dating anyone to see a movie! They get like one movie a year they can go to. It is sad. Though I will go see Godzilla myself if no one comes, I don't care. I have to see it as a Godzilla fan. Hopefully it doesn't suck as bad as the (gulp) 1998 attempt. Why is America so bad at Godzilla?)
    Are these figures from the Winter Soldier movie toy line? And, if so, do you just buy every super hero toy that you see? Or do you pick and choose? Either way, you seem to own more toys than me! Does that make you the best girl ever? Or the weirdest? Or Both? I'm gonna go with both.

    1. You should probably go with both. lol I don't buy everything, but I do tend to pick up things that will make for a good story. Plus I have never had a nice new version of Captain America, so it just seemed like something to do. lol He is from the Winter Soldier movie line. I really like this line, I just wish it wasn't so difficult to collect.

      I do hope you get to see the Cap movie. It was really good. I found it very enjoyable. Although that does suck that you can't get to go see movies with your friends. I mean, just because you get married doesn't mean your life has to end. Of course, I wasn't in the most traditional of marriages. My husband really did his own thing most of the time. We did go to the movies though, which I love doing.

      The new Godzilla movie does look pretty good though from what I've seen. I can't believe it is already here! I can't even believe that the Summer movie season has begun!