Thursday, April 11, 2013

A Plastic Hate Infestation!

Hate is one powerful word. In fact, hate is like the Hulk of words. It can just smash into things without a care in the world. I don't usually hate things. So this week's assignment for the League was quite a change of pace for me. The topic was, what piece of pop culture did you hate as a kid? I'm a true southern lass and was brought up to never hate anything. It is times like these that I wish I was a true bad girl, you know the kind: wearin' cha-cha heels and stompin cigarettes out with a well pedicured toe while wearing skin tight pants that I may or may not be sewn into. Alas I am nothing close to being a true bad girl.



Oh what did I hate as a kid? The things I hated as a kid were, like, brussel sprouts and learning how to talk. How could I hate anything from pop culture? I was a child of the 80's, one of the best decades for pop culture. It would of course been rather simple to say what I hated about the current landscape of pop culture, but I had to focus! This was about my time on this Earth as a kid. What shred of pop culture did I hate at that time?

So unable to come up with something, I decided to maybe see if some of the other members of the League could help inspire me... Calvin hated Archie Wood and Friends. Which, had I grown up watching that show, I would have probably hated too.  I had almost thought about my partial hate for ponies of the little personal variety, but Geeky Vixen covered that hate pretty darn well. Bubba Shelby also spoke of his hate for a group of real plastic heroes and the iffy cartoon they starred in. Of course I did think of music, but who am I kidding, I loved bands like New Kids on the Block. Incidentally, even though I may love those crooning scalawags, check out a fresh perspective on the hate side of NKOTB from thirtyishyyearoldboy. And of course the always fabulous Shezcrafti revealed her hate for a monstrous gem that I had totally forgotten about. (Now I just need a hypnotist to make sure it stays buried in my psych. Forever.)

With all these moments of pop culture hate out and about, I still found myself lost. What could I possibly hate so much that it would warrant a lengthy diatribe? And then it hit me: balls. But not just any balls. Plastic balls. More to the point, plastic balls found in a ball pit.

That's right, as a kid I hated the ball pit! Back in the 80's and early 90's a big part of pop culture was attending birthday parties at those entertainment centers, like Chuck E. Cheese, Leaps and Bounds, and the always fun- Peppermint Park. I had a love/hate relationship with entertainment centers. The pizza and cake was good, but there was just so much danger around every corner, especially in the areas with tubes, bouncy floors/walls, and of course the ball pit.

So as a kid I hated the ball pit for many reasons. In the beginning the biggest reason was that I thought the ball pit was bottomless. Yep. I was that kid. I was terrified that if you didn't swim to stick to the top, you'd simply sink to the bottom, drowning in a sea of plastic balls. (Well there goes my social life.)


Now I realize that the ball-pit-hate was basically motivated by fear (as any good little psychoanalyst would tell me) but the fact is I thought you could basically die in a ball pit. And I was too cute to die in a ball pit. Of course as I got a little older and a little wiser, I realized that I would indeed survive a trip into the ball pit. That is when my other hates for this pop culture institution of yesteryear really came into focus.

You see, even as a kid, I was aware of when something was grody or not. And at first my eventual comfort of entering into the ball pit was purely joyous. I had finally shed that boring layer of fear and was just relishing time spent with my cousins and friends.


Then things got nasty. Other kids began to share war stories, like the rumors of that one bully kid who would hog the ball pit for himself. Content to attack other kids at free will, the cautionary tale of the bully ball pit kid was only mildly threatening as reports of more atrocious things were beginning to unfold.


There was the infestation story, where one kid found dried vomit on a few of the balls. (At least, she thought it was vomit.) Or there was the story of the little boy finding a missing tooth and some dried blood on a dingy yellow plastic ball. And that wasn't even close to the horror story of the kid peeing in a ball pit and tossing the damp balls at other bystanders. Grody I tell you, just grody.


So that is how I came to hate the ball pit and everything it stood for. It was essentially a cesspool that our parents were ok dropping us off at because they needed a break from us. A messy piece of pop culture that could of destroyed our immune systems, and nearly did. Those calcium deposits on my lungs had to come from somewhere.

However, I must give some love to Peppermint Park. I have no idea if that place was part of a chain, but it was a really fun place near where I lived as a kid. It was older and the whole place had a quaint run-down feel, almost like it hadn't changed since the 60's or something. It was also more of an affordable place during the heyday of entertainment centers like Leaps and Bounds and such. Sadly it closed up shop and eventually became a mega church. We have a lot of those in the south. (Le sigh.)

So there you have it, a piece of pop culture that I absolutely hated as a kid. I shudder to think what would have become of me had I been the one to find the dried up vomit...

Until next time everyone! And, if you are interested to read about any other hateful pop culture relics of folk's youth, head over to Cool and Collected and learn more about the League! Take care everybody.

24 comments:

  1. Ha! Though I don't hate the ball pit conceptually speaking, much like the public pool, I hated the idea of swimming around in it with a bunch of strange kids for most of the grody reasons you mentioned....

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    1. Well, I think had I not been such a fearful child, I probably would not have been so hard on the ball pit. But, I was just always unsure of that play space in my younger years. lol

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  2. So... many... dirty... balls... jokes... must... maintain... classy... demeanor...

    LOVE THIS POST!!! Especially love your ball-pit simulator.

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    1. Well I figure, if I am going to be writing about balls, I better have a sense of humor with it. lol I had a lot of fun with those pictures! The ball pit balls were empty Squinkies! A mess!

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    2. My Mom would never let me go in them when I was a kid because she was afraid there would be a dirty syringe at the bottom. I desperately wanted to though. But my son went to a birthday party just a few months ago and they had one there and I was soooo sketched out by the whole deal. I couldn't watch him in there. I left him to the balls and went off to eat cake.

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    3. My parents were grossed out by them, but they never really prevented my brother and I from going in. I mean at first my fearfulness of the ball pit was great, but then when I jumped in they'd be like, "When you get home, you are changing your clothes and washing your hands!" lol They are completely sketchy! lol

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  3. Miss M!!! I REFUSED to get into the ball pit unless I had socks on, as if the socks would shield me from the horrors that lay beneath me. Just a few things I found in my ball pit delving days. EMPTY KETCHUP PACKET - check, BLOODIED BAND-AID - check, check, TUFTS OF HAIR - check, check, check, and of course - OTHER KIDS FUNKY SOCKS!!! EEEEEEeeeeeeee. Once I saw that other kids tried the sock defense and failed miserably...I was OUT. That was the end of my dirty ball pit spelunking. Great post <3.

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    1. I totally forgot about that! Yes! Dirty socks! You were s.o.l. if you didn't have socks on. The worst was that one kid who would just hide under the balls waiting to lunge out and scare someone. I wonder what happened to that kid. lol

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  4. The ball pit is the worst source of germs you can find. I woudn't send a kid into that without a hazmat suit. We did a project in high school where we tested places for cleanliness and grew the cultures and the Ball Pit was much more germay than even a keyboard or toilet urinal. Never again for me and when I see someone let their kid move around in that slop I can only pray for them. That's where antibiotic resistant superbugs go to germinate.

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    1. Oh my goodness! Kal! I can totally believe that the cultures would be pretty bad in the ball pit, worse than other typcial grody places. Oh goodness. I am so glad I am not a kid anymore.

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  5. The Ball Pit is kinda of scary actually so the hate comes natural lol. Hmmm I wonder if Poe was alive today would he pen the tale of the "Ball Pit and Pendulum"?

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    1. Hey JB! lol I'm sure Poe would have all sorts of things to say about the Ball Pit. That was funny. I hope you are doing well. : )

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    2. Doing great Miss M been busy with work. : )

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  6. I know the feeling! It is nice to hear from you, talk to you later.

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  7. Random Question, but whose hands are sticking out of the ball pit in the first photo? I found a random hand today (on the sidewalk) and it looks identical. My parents would never let me near ball pits. I feel envious everytime I see them at Ikea or in that "Meet a Stranger" video going around facebook (http://www.wimp.com/ballpit/)

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    1. Oh no, that is not random at all! The hands and arms belong to a Draculaura from Monster High. I just removed the arms (from the elbows) and had them sticking out from the Squinkies balls. Thanks for the video link, I have not seen that yet! Now I would get into a ball pit like that! I just wish they could make like ball pit balls that could self-clean themselves. lol

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    2. The hand I found was pale bluish-green. Do MH dolls comes with multiple hands or is some poor girl in my neighborhood very upset right now?

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    3. Yes MH dolls do come with extra parts. All the regular dolls have hands and legs that can be swapped and then there are the Create-A-Monster sets that are nothing but parts. So it could very well be a MH part. The bluish-green seems like it would belong to Lagoona Blue.

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  8. I thought you said you were afraid of being slimed as a kid-or maybe you were just grossed out by slime, I forget. But you got over it to the point where you can include the slime pit in your fan fiction!
    Also you said you were afraid of the trapdoor on she-ra. I can't wait till the day you interview Hordak for your bodacious baddies. My theory is there is no way to avoid the trapdoor-so take one of those little recorder things that reporters have. Then, after he trapdoors you, you can say what the experience is like into your recorder. A first person account of taking the plunge! That would be funny.

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    1. I was never personally afraid of being slimed. I was afraid of my toys being slimed. I had cousins who had a slime pit, and I personally found slime to be gross. And I am working on a way of including the whole trapdoor for an interview thing soon. I am hoping to do the whole thing justice! lol

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  9. Yeah, ball pits were a breeding ground for botulism and ebola among other things. As a parent, I am forced to take the kids to Chuck E Cheese and the like, and I can honestly say that these places are a parent's worst nightmare. There is not enough Purell in the world.

    I loved this post so much, thanks for sharing your trauma. ;)

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    1. Hey Brian! Yeah, I can't imagine going to those places right now. I would be freaking out if I had kids. What did we ever do before Purell? I hope you are doing well, glad you enjoyed the post!

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  10. Loved this post, cuz BALLS!

    Also, I think this is the first time anybody has called me "fabulous." You're SO nice! Is there an award for Nicest Blogger? If there is, you totally get my vote. :)

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    1. I was thinking that the balls part would be the big selling point. lol

      And I totally meant that too, you are fabulous. Like in my mind I think we're friends. I know that sounds sad and myabe just the slightest bit cray, but I like to think that if we lived near each other we'd totally be friends.

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