Countdown to Halloween with the October 2013 Bodacious Baddie!

Dear Diary,

Halloween is near. My teeth are chattering with the sugars. Folks are wearing costumes at the grocery stores and restaurants, like it is all common place. (I'm not even talking about children, these are grown folks with some impressive costumes.) It's driving me crazy because I have yet to find what I'm wearing to April O'Neil's Halloween Party of the Year. Anyways, I'm rambling just a tad too much. I need to find a book on love since Franken Berry and Elsa have been inseparable. It's kinda scary how fast they have fallen for each other. My matchmaking skills are just on point. Right? Diary, help me make sense of this!

-Miss M


Miss M: Ok, let's see, I think the last time I saw the book Why Do Fools Fall in Love it was on this shelf. Goodness, I didn't realize all these books were just hanging out in the office. Oh wow, she even has some old Scary Stories books! I love these books. Spider bites and bath tubs still freak me out to this day.

As Miss M is immersed in the books, someone creeps up on her.

Casey Jones: Hey Miss M.
Miss M: Holy crapoly! You just scared the living daylights out of me!
Casey: Sorry M. Have you seen April?
Miss M: No, not for awhile. She has been busy on an important assignment.
Casey: Really? That sounds interesting.
Miss M: Not really. She's actually party supply shopping for the Halloween Party.
Casey: Leave it up to my ex-wife. Do you know if she has been eating the candy I've been sending her?
Miss M: (blushes slightly) Yeah. Sure. She's been totally enjoying it.
Casey: You've been eating some of the candy, haven't you?

Miss M: Maybe. (sighs) Ok look, I may have sneaked a few boxes of treats off her desk, but in my defense, April insisted that she bought the candy and bedazzled black roses for herself, though I kinda knew she was making that all up.
Casey: Yeah. She has a hard time with her emotions.
Miss M: Do you think you two will finally admit you really do love each other?
Casey: Probably not. Come on M, April and I have been divorced for years now. There is just no going back. Not everyone gets a happily ever after. How are you and Mikey?
Miss M: Michelangelo and I are great. I thought it'd be weird dating a Ninja Turtle, but ya know, you just get used to it. I thought his breath would be amphibious at first, but it's actually pretty fresh. Like winter mint.
Casey: Too much information M. Just too much.
Miss M: Oh please, what I've just said is nothing! You should see Franken Berry and Elsa.
Casey: Is Elsa the one that starred in the Bride of Frankenstein?

Miss M: That's the one. They are sickening, and not in the good way. I fear I have created a monster. Their love is just too much. She bought up a ton of stock in General Mills and is trying to make risky business decisions for the company now while Franken Berry is trying to remake the Bride of Frankenstein wherein he plays the role of the Monster. Oh, and did I also mention that the remake will be a disco musical too?
Casey: That sounds rough.
Miss M: Really rough! All I wanted to do was be the best matchmaker possible. I suck at it.
Casey: Don't say that M. You had no idea it would turn out so... bizarre.

Miss M: Yeah. I guess. Anyways, I need to get going. I have an interview with this month's Bodacious Baddie, so I need to hurry it up.
Casey: Nice catchin up with you M.
Miss M: Yes, it really was. Oh, and by the by, if you want to deliver anymore candy, I really like Sweet Tarts, Nerds, and Pay Days. Even though I'm totally allergic to peanuts. But it's ok, I've got an EpiPen!

Casey Jones promises to find more candy as the two say their goodbyes. Miss M heads to a mysterious town meeting where she plans on talking to the...

October 2013 Bodacious Baddie!

Somewhere near a town square...

Miss M: Goodness, where is my interview at? No one is here...

Miss M stands around until she hears some snickers from behind the podium. Turning to the sounds, Miss M stands in shock as the Riddler pops up.

The Riddler: Question: Who's going to make the feathers fly and knock Miss M and her Diary out of the sky?
Miss M: Oh. My. Goodness.

The Riddler: Why, me of course! Welcome Miss M.
Miss M: Jim Carrey? Is that you?
The Riddler: You're joking, right? Don't you know who I am?
Miss M: Umm...
The Riddler: I'm a real puzzler for Batman. I'm the Riddler, the original screen sensation! Others have followed, but there's only one me!
Miss M: So what is this public speaking engagement about?
The Riddler: I thought it best to make a spectacle for this interview.
Miss M: I must say, you are the first person from that era of Batman that I have gotten the chance to meet and interview. This is quite a treat, and is actually sort of full circle. In a weird way.

The Riddler: (steps forward to Miss M) How so?
Miss M: (stares at his legs) Wow. First of all, how is it that you have the nicest legs I have ever seen? Anyways, so back when there was a Batman Animated Series, I found myself wanting to collect the accompanying toy line. I was really wanting to support the line so that they'd eventually make a Catwoman. And the Riddler was my first figure to get from that line!

The Riddler: Really? You picked my Animated Series action figure first, out of all the others from that first series?
Miss M: Well... you were kinda the only one left on the shelf. Every other character had sold out.

The Riddler: That doesn't seem very nice at all. So I was some silly consolation item?
Miss M: Maybe. (looks bashful) And you may or may not have been the only person from the 1966 Batman series that I could find to interview...

The Riddler: I knew I should have found a better way to spend my time than with this complete disregard for my character.
Miss M: Oh no, please don't be offended. You are one of my favorite villains of all time. Truly, you are. I always thought you've had such a vivacious and free spirit.
The Riddler: I also have an empty stomach. Let's take this interview else where!

Moments later...

The Riddler: Now this is where an interview needs to take place! Can you smell the grease in the air? Reminds me of the time the Penguin and I tried to sell fried grease on the secondary market as gold. That bothersome Batman and his boy blunder foiled our attempts at striking it rich.
Miss M: Ya know, out of all the people I've interviewed, I've never really met Batman. What's he like?

The Riddler: Annoying. All I want to do is commit crimes. I can't help that I leave behind puzzling clues in the process. I just want people to use their brains! If it weren't for me, Batman would be a moron. He owes me for his intelligence.
Miss M: Or you could just not leave behind riddles to your crimes and just commit the crime. You always struck me as one of the smartest criminal masterminds on the planet. Maybe even the universe. So I don't understand why someone so smart always gets caught.

The Riddler: Sometimes the thrill of the riddle is just too much to pass. I find myself saying: I must! I must! I must see if Batman can solve the riddle. I am living for the day when he finds himself unable to answer one of my riddles.
Miss M: Who did you like working with the most out of that original group of villains?

The Riddler: The Penguin and I always had a good time plotting world domination together. The Joker always had so much sizzle on him, he was the face of villainy. But the Penguin and I always had a good scheme. That miserable Catwoman would usually get in the way with her feline ways. There is a reason why women should never be given a costume.
Miss M: Now you're just talking crazy. I mean I've heard some stuff in my day, but that is just crazy.
The Riddler: Is it Miss M? Is it?
Miss M: Listen hon, I don't have time for foolishness. Women have every right to rock a super hero or super villain costume and can probably do it better than a man. Though you really do have nice legs. (shakes her head) Ok, changing the subject! What have you been up to since the 60's?
The Riddler: I have been busy M. How else do you think new Riddlers come into existence? I teach them everything they will need to know and the rest just works itself out.

Miss M: Yeah. I like the idea of things working itself out. I know two people right now that I wish could work some things out. They are just too much in love and I wish there was a way for them to tone it all down a bit.

The Riddler: (pauses to think of something) Riddle me this Dorkette- Who is responsible for double heart surgery with a purple thumb?
Miss M: I don't know. I'm not smart enough to get these things.
The Riddler: The answer is me!
Miss M: You're a heart surgeon?

The Riddler: I'm a heart surgeon of love. I can marry people. I took a class online.
Miss M: Really? Interesting... (her gears begin spinning)
The Riddler: Yes, it is.
Miss M: Ya know, I might need your services. Here's the thing, I played matchmaker to these two people, and now their love is just out of control. I have created monsters. But, if I can find a way for them to get married... well... they'll lose all sense of their puppy love ways! Nothing destroys romance more than marriage. Just ask Casey Jones and April O'Neil.
The Riddler: I charge a fee.
Miss M: That's fine. I'll just use the petty cash from the office. Thank goodness for Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead.

The Riddler: That works for me. As long as I get my money.
Miss M: Great! You'll have your money. Now I just need to find out a way to convince Franken Berry and Elsa that marriage will only make them fall even more in love... I can wing it.
The Riddler: Listen to you! You sound like a villain already. Plotting in such devious ways.
Miss M: I'm no villain! I'm just trying to save my nerves.
The Riddler: Whatever you say Dorkette. Now, when is this wedding going to take place?
Miss M: (pauses ever so slightly) Oh I know, it'll be the perfect time: Halloween. Let's get them hitched on Halloween.

With the plan fully in place, Miss M and the Riddler continue to chit chat while eating the best fast food possible. While their conversation continues, another more sinister conversation is unfolding elsewhere...

Velvet Sky: Finally, I get to meet the mighty Hordak.
Hordak: Yes. I must admit my surprise when I was told you wanted to speak to me. I thought you were best friends with Skeletor?

Velvet Sky: I was. Things change though. I had hired Skeletor and a few other Masters of Evil to help me with some pest control. But one by one they all chickened out. Skeletor and Evil-Lyn were the only two left helping me to rid the universe of that menace Miss M. But now they decided to up and leave on vacation to the Crystal Falls. Something about hating this time of year. Regardless, I am at the end of my rope. I want Miss M gone. Can you help me?

Hordak: I can. But why get rid of Miss M so quickly? I always thought it more fun to torture the person first.
Velvet Sky: I'm not interested in that torture porn shit.

Hordak: (snorts out a laugh) That is not what I mean. I've learned that the best way to get rid of someone is by playing with them first. Don't go after just Miss M. Go after the ones she loves as well. Really make her suffer before you destroy her. Doesn't that sound like fun?
Velvet Sky: It does actually. It really does. I should have come to you sooner.
Hordak: Hindsight is always 20/20.
Velvet Sky: When do we set these new plans in motion?
Hordak: I think there is only really one choice in all this: Halloween.

Velvet Sky: Sounds divinely perfect! With your help, there will be no stopping me now!!!!

The End???

October 2013 Bodacious Baddie!

On Thursday- The Bride of Franken Berry!? Be here for Halloween as Miss M and her friends celebrate an unforgettable Halloween. (Also stop by between now and Thursday as there are still some other cool things to be posted!) Take care everyone.