Monday, October 14, 2013

Regretfully yours,

Bad Toys everywhere.

The League of Extraordinary Bloggers is at it again and this week's topic is one that I am all too familiar with:

Why did I buy that? Why did I sell that? My biggest regret is…

Click below and learn more!

Now to those who are familiar with my little diary, some of you may recall that I had a series of essays under the topic of Toy Regrets. I only did three because I have gotten slightly sidetracked with my toy version dating a Ninja Turtle and a wrestling Diva trying to kill me. It's been rather busy around here. However, I do realize that it is nice to take a breather from all the mayhem of toy interviews and get to personal and thought provoking issues.

I understand that this topic is about 'My biggest regret' but I have already discussed that, and while I am planning on talking about something new for the sake of this topic, I do think that you should all take a moment to check out some gems from yesteryear. See dear readers, my toy regrets have involved time travel, being attacked by a 50 foot doll, and finding my way back home. These three pieces I wrote are some of my favorite items I've written for the Diary, so I hope that you will enjoy them. Some of you may even remember them! (They weren't that long ago.)

On to a new regret though. I'm usually writing about the regrets I have on missing out on toys, but this time I have a big regret on something that I recently bought. I tend to forget the important lessons in life, like reading reviews on items before tossing my gold coins at the toy aisle. Over the summer Target had all of their G.I. Joe Retaliation items on clearance. Not just any clearance. I'm talking the mega clearance of clearance sales.

The H.I.S.S. Tank from the movie line was one of those items on amazing clearance. I haven't always been the biggest G.I. Joe collector, but there have certainly been a few items I have collected through the years. This Retaliation H.I.S.S. Tank on clearance had really spoke to me because I wanted to use the tank for some pictures for the Conference of Evil.

Little did I know this purchase would be an instant regret. Where do I even begin? The small plastic blaster piece that snapped into the tip of the tank could never stay in place. It was always falling off. The tank itself had major mechanical failures. The top piece of the tank was unable to stay connected to the tire treads. With just a slight huff and a puff, the whole tank could be blown apart. Disappointment can not even express my feelings regarding these... complications.

How such a beloved toy company like Hasbro could produce such a dud is beyond me. My excitement at owning a H.I.S.S. Tank had been honest and pure, and I'm not usually one to even remotely come close to honest and pure excitement over G.I. Joe items. I'm a girly dorkette, I like items to have rooted hair and either a sword or at the very least a rival band or two. So to geek out in excitement over a big blue tank meant something: honor and respect. Sadly those feelings were not returned.

At first I took a guess that the H.I.S.S. Tank just wasn't comfortable in my Archival Room with all its overdoses of girlish items. With that said, if He-Man can handle hanging in the Archival Room than the tank should have too. I then put my Nancy Drew skills to the test and realized the sad truth after reading a handful of online reviews, it's not me, it's the tank. Review after review confirmed that Hasbro had indeed dropped the ball on the Retaliation H.I.S.S. Tank. I didn't feel so bad even though the regret was still there, flowing through my cold bitter veins.

The regret wasn't so much that I had purchased the item. After all, it only cost around nine dollars. It was more about the regret of what could have been. See dear readers, I ended up finding another home for the broken and worn down H.I.S.S. Tank. We parted ways and the whole experience has just left me with nothing but regret and sadness. Had more sturdier parts been implemented in the design of this toy, we could have lived a long and happy life together. In the end though, we will always have the Conference of Evil. That must stand for something, right?

Wanna know about more regrets?

Mason has a handful of regrets...
The Power of the Force was lost with Matt. Then the regret set in...
The regret over at the Goodwill Geek is enough to make your head explode.
Regrets are many at the Monster Cafe, and I can only hope that his ship will come in.

As always there will be plenty more posts on this topic that can be found on Cool and Collected. If you are interested in learning more about this whole League of Extraordinary Bloggers stuff, check out the details here. Also, if you or anyone you know is interested in helping to back the next big thing in pop culture collecting magazines, head over to the Cool and Collected Magazine Kickstarter page and make a pledge! Brian over at Cool and Collected has all the ingredients for an amazing magazine, but it needs our help. So tell everyone you know and check it out. I miss magazines like ToyFare dearly, and I know that the Cool and Collected magazine is going to fill that void.

That's about it for this week's topic. I have to get going though. As I'm typing this all up on the floor in my closet, a giant spider has just walked in and is inching ever so close towards me. Actually the spider is really tiny, but bugs really freak me out, so... I'm gone. But, don't go far! I've got all kinds of fun and spooky things to talk about this week. (I'll even add some pictures since this is the second or third time I have posted something without any pictures! What is this, the days before cameras or something?) Hope you are all doing wonderfully well.


  1. I think the issue here is that you bought something related to "THAT" movie, and that is the reason it fell apart--maybe there weren't enough guns and hate towards others...and apparently if you got the one that came with Cobra Commander, he is supposed to lack a lot of articulation...And you are the one who sat through that movie--so brave, a real american hero to us all!

    I, as you know, am a huge G.I. Joe fan, so my negative comments about "THAT" movie make me want to retaliate against the production company for killing something that I love.

    A few years ago I went to the Wizard World convention in Philadelphia--very boring...but, I did pick up a HISS Tank--however it was a remake of the original which I had as a kid. I got the standard black version--there are others in white and blue...and even red! The toy itself is an exact mold of the 80's original which could stand up to some killer play, the only difference is the retooled foot pegs for the modern figures, everything else seems to be exactly the same. Built solid as a rock!

    The newer HISS has had problems left and right, the moving treads, the pop-up function, all of it fails--I wish you would have asked me what I thought about it first, but when you see something like that for 9 bucks in a store you tend to go hog-wild. Sorry you had to get a dud...but that's "THAT" movie for ya, nothing good came out of it!

    1. I totally forgot to mention that part about the Cobra Commander figure! He had a huge lack of articulation. I got his tank for cheap cheap, but at close to 30 dollars for the original price, I just can't imagine someone spending all that money on something that was just not that good.

      I do like the remake HISS tanks they did. I have seen the one in red, and it looks pretty cool. I might need to go back and just get one of those (on the off chance that i need a HISS Tank for more stories. lol)

      The one thing they sort of got right with the movie line was the Jinx figure. Of course they decided to release her last and she probably won't make it to stores. So yeah. A bit disappointing. I really like how they handled the toy line for the first movie. It really felt like an event. With the movie and everything getting pushed back, that toy line just wasn't going to make it.

  2. nice post miss m. for seems vehicles including if they are movie tie ins like gijoe seem to wind up falling short lately. and can't wait to see what halloween magic you have in store miss m.

    1. Yes demoncat, I totally agree. It does seem like lately things sort of get the shaft in terms of toy lines with movies. It is sad really. And I really really hope you enjoy the Halloween magic I've got cooked up!

  3. It stinks to buy something then find out it's basically garbage. Though I guess the sting is lessened by getting it at a reduced price. I am impressed you dabble in the G.I Joe realm! Very cool. And this read also introduced me to the Conference of Evil. LOL. Brilliant.

    1. I know, it totally does! This is why I try not to pay full price for something unless I know for sure I am going to really love it. And I do dabble with a little bit of G.I. Joe. I am far from what you would call a hardcore fan, but I certainly remember the cartoon growing up and I did think that out of most of the boy cartoons, G.I. Joe had a nice number of strong female characters that made it appealing for me. I'm glad you liked the Conference of Evil too! That was so much fun to put together. I hope you are having a nice day!