Saturday, January 26, 2013

January 2013 Bodacious Baddie

Why should the heroes of the world have all the fun? What about those vile and venomous doers of evil? Do they ever get a parade? No. They're lucky if they get their name somewhere in the opening credits on a featured animated series. So since I am trying to be the pillar of truth and fun for everyone, I have decided that Diary of a Dorkette will brave the scariest and most dastardly of places to bring you all the in-depth and hard hitting interviews with the world's most dangerous (and bodacious) baddies around!

To get this year started, I wanted to talk with someone that has been pretty elusive. This bodacious baddie doesn't just sit down with anyone. In fact I had to actually wait awhile (a good number of months) as he was in a deep sleep replenishing his energies. Once he was up and out of his sarcophagus we were both finally ready for one interesting interview! So ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: Mumm-Ra, the January 2013 Bodacious Baddie.

January 2013 Bodacious Baddie
Diary of a Dorkette: So tell me, how long do you have to go into the sarcophagus stasis?
Mumm-Ra: It depends on how much energy I have used. This previous year was a very busy one for me. I was on a hit television show, you may have heard of it: the ThunderCats reboot! After filming the first season I just found myself to be entirely exhausted, I've been sleeping since.
Diary: Yes, I could understand. You certainly brought a lot to the small screen. Does it ever tire you though, that you never seem to win against Lion-O and the ThunderCats?
Mumm-Ra: What sort of question is that little girl? I am Mumm-Ra! I do not lose. I merely escape and plan my next attack.
Diary: Well surely with all that occurred once the season was done taping, you must have new plans of some sort going forward?
Mumm-Ra: I do not understand this question. You are not a very good reporter, what are your credentials again?
Diary: I can assure you I am just fine at what I do. I graduated from the April O'Neil University of Sound and Responsible Journalism. April taught me all I needed to know. I learned from the best.

Mumm-Ra: Well Miss Dorkette, if you knew anything, you would know to ask me questions about spoiler specific items. Like what to expect from the second season of ThunderCats! The reboot was one of the best new shows of the 2011-2012 television season!
Diary: Oh my. You don't know do you?
Mumm-Ra: Stop with these pathetic mind games strange dorky girl, speak what you mean to say.
Diary: Well Mumm-Ra... I guess you were sleeping in that sarcophagus for a little too long, because... umm... I don't know how to say this...
Mumm-Ra: Spit it out you infernal little wretch!
Diary: There isn't going to be a new season of ThunderCats! A second season of the reboot was never green lit.
Mumm-Ra: That is impossible! How dare you call yourself a graduate of the April O'Neil University of Sound and Responsible Journalism! You are nothing but a brat full of lies!
Diary: No! I am being honest. Didn't anyone tell you?
Mumm-Ra: My assistant henchmen know not to disturb my very important sleep.
Diary: Well don't you find it odd that you never received a script for a new season? I mean it is not like they would have recasted you. It is January, shooting would have begun months ago.
Mumm-Ra: That sort of makes sense. I know how I will solve this. Let me find my iCoffin.

Mumm-Ra: I just love my new iCoffin. It has a camera, touch screen, and everything.
Diary: You don't strike me as someone who would care much for technology.
Mumm-Ra: This might be true. Not all of us get the chance to own the Sword of Omens and require nothing else in this life. My iCoffin means the world to me. My granddaughter introduced me to this new high-tech item. She is full of attitude, but she keeps me informed.
Diary: Sounds like a very nice granddaughter.

Mumm-Ra: Yes. Yes, she is. She attends a high school for monsters and even got her friends to watch the show. I know she'll be honest with me. (At this point in the interview Mumm-Ra walked off to the side in hushed whispers.) Cleo! Yes, I am finally awake. I need to ask you something... (During this portion, Diary of a Dorkette could not make out the conversation between Mumm-Ra and his granddaughter, but towards the end it got really bad.)

Mumm-Ra: What!? It can't be! This can't be!
Diary: Are you ok?
Mumm-Ra: What do you think? My hit television show is not coming back! ThunderCats is over! How did this happen? Didn't anyone try to stop this?
Diary: Well many people joined together and signed petitions. Twitter got involved in a big way.
Mumm-Ra: Twitter? Is that an Avistan? I've never heard of him.
Diary: No...
Mumm-Ra: It is no difference. My world is ruined. And for that I am angry! Very angry! (At this point the room became very still and a swirling mass of electrical energy swirled around Mumm-Ra.)

Mumm-Ra: Ancient spirits of evil, transform this decayed form to Mumm-Ra, the Ever-Living!
Diary: Oh shit...

Mumm-Ra: Who is responsible for the cancellation of the ThunderCats reboot?
Diary: I am not entirely sure. Unfortunately I believe that the ratings just weren't that great, not to mention the merchandise warmed the pegs a little bit too much...
Mumm-Ra: You insipid woman, what do you mean?
Diary: I mean you can go to any toy section in most any store and find ThunderCats items on clearance. The line is over, it is gone.

Mumm-Ra: Tell me who. Tell me who is left? Are there nothing but Lion-Os and Tygras for sale still? Surely no one wanted that ridiculous Cheetara, she must be all over the clearance bins...
Diary: To be honest, because April O'Neil taught me well, the only ThunderCats figure I've seen in the dusty old clearance bins... is you.
Mumm-Ra: Bite your tongue! Go ahead! Bite your tongue! How dare you insult the supreme power of Mumm-Ra!
Diary: I wish I could tell you different. But it is the truth.
Mumm-Ra: I could ring your neck...

Diary: Please don't. I like my neck just the way it is. How about we change the subject? Surely with the popularity that the ThunderCats saw last year, there must have been some exciting things you got to experience?
Mumm-Ra: Aside from starring in a hit show? I can't really think of anything else. I mean I built an army. I had a nice catch-up lunch with MonStar. We discussed old times. That was nice. I also did some modeling.

Diary: Wow, you did have a busy year. So what are you going to do next? What is the plan for your 2013?
Mumm-Ra: I do not know. I suppose I will try to continue my quest to rule Third Earth. But I will more than likely continue to audition for new roles. After all, I am an actor of the highest caliber!

Diary: Right. Well Mumm-Ra, what else?
Mumm-Ra: I just want eternal youth and power. I am Ever-Living! I want the rest of the world to see how much power and success I have!
Diary: You should maybe think about joining the cast of a Real Housewives show. That might end up being your niche.
Mumm-Ra: I do not know what you are speaking of strange dorkette.
Diary: I think I'm about done. Do you have any thoughts about being the first Bodacious Baddie of 2013?

Mumm-Ra: Eh. I would have preferred this odd title last year when I was on the highly successful ThunderCats reboot. But I suppose this will do. If worse comes to worst, I'll simply just go to sleep in my sarcophagus until the next reboot.

And that was the end. Mumm-Ra called off the rest of the interview and refused to speak to anyone. Calls were made for a follow up, but Diary of a Dorkette could not secure any further contact. When pressed just enough, one of Mumm-Ra's assistant henchmen sent a statement detailing that Mumm-Ra had retired for the time being and would one day return to spread darkness around the world via the Ancient Spirits of Evil. Mumm-Ra insisted on being quoted as saying, "Wherever evil exists, Mumm-Ra lives! My legend will truly live on, even though the show didn't." Tear. (Mine, not his.)

The January 2013 Bodacious Baddie bows out, but who will be the next Bodacious Baddie? There is only one way to find out, check back next month! Also, stick around as we all find out the big reveal of the January 2013 Heroic Hottie! (Look for your pulse to race at the start of the week!)

Up next though will be She-Ra Saturday as Adora's Search for Honor comes back with an all new chapter. You don't want to miss it! And to get She-Ra Saturday going, check out my little look on Netossa. Take care everyone!



  1. Now that is hilarious. I always loved me some Mum-Ra but for a guy who can get so big and opposing he sure files other numnuts to do his dirty work.

    1. He really did have a lot of people doing his dirty work. lol I just wish the new reboot had lasted a little bit longer. He finally seemed like a threat at the very end.

  2. I didn't see a single episode of the Thundercats reboot-no wonder it failed, considering someone like me, it's prime target audience, didn't even know what time it was on or what day of the week! I guess it would have been too painful though to go through something like that again after the MOTU reboot disaster. I was having so much fun with that and then it was gone.
    That being said, I do like the idea for this new feature and love the concept of the Icoffin! Hope we see an interview with Monstar at some point too. Although his toy was pretty lame with the head being the only part that changed.
    Are you scared about the prospect of interviewing Skeletor and Hordak? After depicting them as you have and some of the things you've said about them in the past, you better be careful where you are standing when you interview them! (look for any square shaped outlines surrounding you!) They may 0nly agree to the interview for the soul purpose of making you take the plunge.

    1. Well the Thundercats reboot was pretty good. I really liked the show, but yeah, the problem was that the scheduling was always messy.

      And I have a lot of really fun plans for this feature. There may be an interview with Skeletor at some point... i had actually planned on doing him this month, but I am going to hold off. The iCoffin was a wink to the Monster High line. I thought it would be funny to have Cleo (daughter of the mummy) be Mumm-Ra's granddaughter. lol Just me having way too much fun on my hands. And MonStar would be fun, but I never had the chance to own him. And yeah, I better watch where I walk. lol