Sunday, August 31, 2014

Total Darkness Conclusion: August 2014 Woman of Wonderosity!

Dear Diary:

Oh the tangled webs we weave. And not the kind that rests on Entrapta's head. The world is in trouble. Score one for the good guys though, because we got power running again in the city! Granted, it took electrocuting Megatron with a lightning Gremlin to get things going, but what does it matter? Good prevailed. Now I'm just heading to my old house that I lived in when I was alive in my old body. I really want to be back in my old body. This whole sharing space with someone else is for crap. Moth Lady's hair is crimped. And I mean crimped! No amount of deep conditioning is going to give me good hair. Ever. That's not why I want to go back to my old body though. I miss my old life. I miss Michelangelo. I know he is moving on with Mona Lisa, but that doesn't matter! Once he sees me, sees that I am alive, well... We'll fall into each others arms and we can go back to the way things were. Before I was murdered by Velvet Sky. When is she going to pay for her crimes? That's what I want to know. Oh well, it doesn't matter. I've got to go Diary. I'm about to be in my old house. I hope the Turtles have been taking care of the place in my sort of non-deathly absence.

-Miss M

Miss M: (looks to her friends) Ok guys, before we go any further I just have to ask one thing.

Miss Elizabeth: Sure.

Miss M: Do not call me Miss M. While you guys know I am the real deal in the wrong body, everyone else thinks I was some crazy homeless lady living under a bridge. So, I'm Moth Lady for the time being, got it?

Ed: But, you're Miss M. How do they not get that?

Miss M: Look Ed, it's a bit too sci-fi for them.
Ed: But, they're talking Ninja Turtles. Hasn't the ship of reality sailed away long ago?

Batman: (sighs) Let's just go inside.

Miss M knocks on the door.

Mona Lisa: Oh, you're the lady from the cemetery. Can I help you?
Miss M: (stares at Michelangelo's lady friend, standing in M's house) I want to scream right now.
Mona Lisa: Excuse me?

Miss M: I mean sanctuary. We need sanctuary.
Mona Lisa: (looks at the group) Batman, a lady in white, and a guy in a panda suit walk into a house...
Miss M: Yeah, I'm sure it's the start of a funny joke. Can we just come in? The world is crazy out there.
Mona Lisa: Yes, please, come inside.

Miss M: (looks around at the mess and whispers) My house. It's a mess.

Batman: What happened here?

Mona Lisa: We were ambushed.

Miss M: What? Who did this?
Mona Lisa: Shredder and the Foot. We were ambushed earlier.

Miss M: (worries about Michelangelo) Did anyone get hurt?

Mona Lisa: (hangs her head) Yes. Badly hurt.

Miss M rushes upstairs for fear that the love of her life is wounded.

She comes face to face with Michelangelo. They look at each other and she rushes into his arms.

Miss M: You're safe. Oh my goodness.
Michelangelo: Umm, yeah. What are you doing here?

Miss M: My friends and I, we needed sanctuary. The world is mad.

Michelangelo: Cool. Well, you saved me so you can find safety here. I guess. We were attacked, so I'm not sure how safe this place really is anymore.

Miss M: Yeah, your girlfriend told me.
Michelangelo: Yeah, it sucks. The house is a mess.
Miss M: (closes her eyes at the sting that he didn't correct her when she mentioned Mona Lisa as his girlfriend) So, who was injured?

Michelangelo: The man who is basically my father.
Miss M: (her heart sinks) Splinter?

She runs to the room.

Michelangelo: (stands alone) How did she know his name?

Miss M: Excuse me guys, I don't mean to interrupt. How is he?
Leonardo: Who are you?

Miss M: I'm Moth Lady.
Raphael: Who?
Donatello: Yeah, how do you know Master Splinter?

Michelangelo: I'd like to know that too.
Miss M: (lies) When I was living under a bridge, he'd visit me. He'd bring me some food and regale me with tales from his soap opera.

Miss M: (looks down at Splinter) He is probably the sweetest man I've ever known. So kind and gentle. My goodness, is he going to make it?

Donatello: We don't know. He hasn't been responding. The wounds are pretty deep.
Leonardo: Yeah, but now that power has been restored to the city, maybe we can get him to the hospital.
Raphael: We can't move him bro.

Miss M: My friends and I got the power back on for the city. Surely we can find a doctor that has equipment to help.

Michelangelo: That would be bodacious of you.
Miss M: Sure. I just need to figure out where to go, and we'll get a group together.

Leonardo: Thank you.
Donatello: Yeah, that means a lot.

Raphael: What they said.
Miss M: (looks at Michelangelo) I'll go get the others.

Miss M walks off as Michelangelo follows her.

Michelangelo: Hey. Wait.
Miss M: Yes?

Michelangelo: I can't thank you enough for this. He is important to us.
Miss M: I know.

The two stare at each other and a weird moment occurs. Suddenly, Miss M turns to the sound of barking.

Miss M: (looks at the dog) Oh who are you?
Michelangelo: Chewie, come here boy. Over here, leave the nice lady alone.
Miss M: Oh, it's ok. Chewie huh? That's a cute name. I didn't peg you for the type to own a pink dog.
Michelangelo: Well, I mean, boy dogs can be pink too.
Miss M: Oh, I know. I know this lady who has a pet. It's actually a large cat, more like a lion, and it's a boy and totally pink. Come to think of it, Clawdeen has better hair than me. That is so sad.
Michelangelo: Huh?
Miss M: Never mind me! So, Chewie huh? How long have you had this precious doggy?
Michelangelo: Umm, since Christmas time. He was actually meant to be a gift for my deceased girlfriend.
Miss M: Oh?

Michelangelo: Yeah. My girlfriend at the time, she'd been going through a lot of gnarly crap. Someone totally murdered her dog last Halloween and during the holidays we were shopping for Christmas gifts. (Editor's note: click here to refresh your memory!) So like I snuck off and got this little dude for her. I wasn't sure if she would have been ok getting another dog so soon, but I just wanted to make her the happiest babe in the universe.

Miss M: (tears form in her eyes) I'm sure she would have loved that.
Michelangelo: Yeah. I'd like to think she would have too.
Miss M: Well Michelangelo, I've got to find a doctor for Splinter. (looks down at Chewie) Bye sweetness!

Chewie jumps up wanting kisses.

Miss M: Oh, look at you! You are so cute! And so sweet!

Michelangelo: Yeah, I can't believe how friendly he is to you. He might be froo-froo looking, but he actually hates most people. He has a bite that could remove a limb if given the chance.
Miss M: (closes her eyes) I'm glad he likes me.

Miss M: (walks away) I'll return with a doctor soon.
Michelangelo: All right. Gnarly.

Miss M walks away as little Chewie looks on, wondering if she'll come back.

Meanwhile at the offices of Diary of a Dorkette...

April: Hello, anyone here? Power is back on in the city! That means cameras are working, which means I need to be covering the news! Guy Friday? Are you here?

April: Where is everyone?

April walks into her office and looks over at her desk.

April: Guy Friday? Are you here? Irma? What in the world? (looks down at her desk)

April: Wait a second. Something is wrong. I'm missing a file. Where did it go? (looks around her desk some more.)

April: Crap. Where is it? Guy Friday!! I need help! (suddenly, something dawns on her.)

April: Megan Fox!

Rushing to the pit, April looks down and screams.

April: Shit! She's gone. Oh crap, I'm going to jail for this. Oh crapola!


Brandine: Man, I want my cigs and hooch.

Alf: Earth is not as fun as I thought it'd be. 

Prince Adrian: We've got to get out of here! Right Dana?

Dana: There is no Dana. Only Zuul.

Tod: The creepy lady keeps saying that. Why does she keep saying that Rod?

Rod: I think she's possessed by the Devil.
Tod: Rod, are we going to hell?

Rod: No. We just can't have funny thoughts or eat candy after midnight.
Tod: I don't want to die in here.

Donald Duck: No one is going to die here. We need a plan.
Prince Adrian: Yes! I am a prince and there are princesses that must be saved. We need to figure this out.

Brandine: I want my cigs!

In a fit of rage, Brandine knocks the fence down.

Brandine: Hoooch!

Starscream: What is this? You pathetic insects! You broke my fence!

Brandine: (charges Starscream) I need my beer, cigs, and hooch!
Donald Duck: (looks on at the melee in horror) Eww. That's gotta hurt.

Moments later...

Donald Duck: Humans rule!

Rod: Yay! We're free from the evil robot!
Tod: I want candy!

Prince Adrian: Let's take this party to the streets, parade this robot's parts all over town!
Brandine: Hey, look ah that. The lights are on. I gotta get to the corner store!

Down on Main Street...

Batman: This is dangerous. You do realize that?

Miss M: Yes, but we need to find a doctor.

Miss Elizabeth: Hopefully we do not find Widow Maker.

Ed: Hey, looks like there is a party up ahead.

Miss M: Are those parts of a Decepticon?

Batman: Looks gruesome. Come on, let's finish this latest mission.

Miss M: Ok. Where would a doctor be in Total Darkness?

Soon the heroes are greeted by a fallen Angel.

Miss Elizabeth: Angela!

Ed: Cool, you're here.

Miss M: What of Widow Maker?

Angela: Destroyed. But sadly, so are the other Angels. It's just me now.

Ed: That sucks.

Batman: We really need to find a doctor.

Miss Elizabeth: Yes. There's a poor rat that needs medical attention.
Angela: Wouldn't we need a veterinarian for that?

Ed: You would think that would work just fine, but no, we need a legit doctor. And not one from TV.
Miss M: Look, up ahead is the hospital. We'll get help.

The group prepares to walk off.

Pinky Pie: Psst. M. Psst.

Miss M: Oh no. What are you doing here?

Pinky Pie: I was just at the most fabulous party in Rio. You know, where all those blue birds talk! It was a gas.

Miss M: Pinky Pie, what is going on? Why are you here?
Pinky Pie: Something really bad is about to happen and as your Spirit Pony I just want to help you in any way I can.
Miss M: Could you be more specific?

Pinky Pie: Umm, yeah. Maleficent and the Dark Ponies are right behind you.

Maleficent: You fools. Did you really think you'd bring the light back?

Miss Elizabeth: Maleficent!

Maleficent: What darling?

Batman: Get out of our way.
Maleficent: I'm only here for Miss Elizabeth and the dork girl.
Angela: You'll have to go through me.

Maleficent: Oh goodness, must you all be so dramatic. Fine, we'll all go. (uses her magic to open a portal)

The portal opens, swooping up some of the heroes.

Ed: I'm going with you M!
Miss M: Batman! Find a doctor!

Batman: Right. Find a doctor.

Pinky Pie: Guys, what's going on with you?
Fluttershy: Not now Pinky Pie. We serve Maleficent now.
Pinky Pie: Well I just don't like that one bit.

Batman: Quiet Ponies. (sighs) I can't believe I just said that.

Pinky Pie: Mister Batman, why so serious?

Batman: (looks around at the ground starting to light up) What is going on? (looks up to the sky) Is that a bird or a plane?

Pinky Pie: Maybe Superman?

Batman: It looks like the Enterprise. What? (squints eyes, grows concerned) Everyone, get out of the way! Move! There's a spaceship getting ready to crash! Come on, move!


April: Guys? Is anyone home? Wow, this place looks like a pigsty. Thankfully M is dead and gone, she'd flip out if she saw her house like this.

Leonardo: April, what's going on?

April: Hey Leo! You wouldn't have happened to see my Guy Friday and Irma around here, would you?
Leonardo: No we haven't. I actually was hoping you were our new friends with the doctor.

April: Doctor? Who needs a doctor?

Leonardo: Master Splinter. Oh April, it's really bad. I'm worried he's not going to make it.

April: Oh no. Take me to him. Come on.

In the After Life...

Maleficent: Now this is how I like my stories to go. I'm not one for murder, but the dead can't really be killed again, yes?

Miss Elizabeth: This is insanity!

Angela: Let Miss Elizabeth go! She never did anything wrong.

Maleficent: Oh didn't she? It was under her watchful eye that the After Life had to segregate the good from the devious. I've been trapped in some form of constraint my whole life! And I will have no more of it.

Miss M: But Maleficent, it's the After Life. Everyone's dead up here. Does any of this really matter? This eternity-sized grudge you have been holding, it needs to just go away!
Maleficent: You're absolutely right. Everyone is dead up here. But you.
Miss M: Well... that really wasn't the part I wanted you to focus on.

Maleficent: (waves her hand to free Miss Elizabeth) Maybe I should just end you instead...
Miss M: That doesn't sound like fun.
Miss Elizabeth: Maleficent! Stop this at once!

Maleficent: I'll do no such thing. I've recreated the universe as I see fit. A world of total darkness, where the fools who choose to believe in light and love are cursed to stumble around like idiots while the wicked rule. And this dork girl, the one that goes by Miss M, she's probably the biggest idiot of them all. Bumbling around in a body that is not even hers. Looking for love. Regurgitating tired old stories that weren't even good the first time they were told by other people. Yet she somehow managed to break my spell and find a way to bring a glimpse of light back into people's lives. You should be put out of your misery.

Miss M: Maleficent, why don't you just end your own misery? Don't you ever get tired of having to be so stuck on this hate? On this affront to your senses. Look, I get it. It sucks not getting an invitation to a party. I've had lots of people 'lose' my invitation in the mail. But I don't go on a wild tangent cursing the entire world and After Life! My goodness, you already cursed a little blond girl, can't that just be enough?

Maleficent: It will never be enough. All I did was place a slight curse. And I needed to be killed for that? How does that add up? (screams) My life was robbed from me!

Miss M: (looks sad) And I'm so sorry that your life was ended so soon. You were misunderstood. But, look at it this way, after all these years they tried to make your story right again. I know you saw your movie. I know you liked how they made you look. My goodness, your cheekbones are on the Christmas wishlist of every middle aged housewife this side of Beverly Hills. You're no longer the villain Maleficent. You have a whole new story to tell. A new start. It doesn't have to be this way. You have the power to end this curse and bring about a new world, where there doesn't have to be a division of good and evil. People can see that there are other possibilities. Other ways to coexist. If you have to kill me, go ahead and do it, but just try to do something different. Free yourself from your own demons Maleficent.

Ed: Wow, this shit got deep.

Maleficent: (stands there in silence) I'm not listening... I must do what is in my heart. Sorry dork girl, but now you die! (begins to unleash a deadly magical force of energy)

Miss M stands still waiting for the devastating blow. She's already died once, it's not like the second time will be any worse. She does wonder though if she'll at least go back to her normal body in the After Life. As so many thoughts begin to swirl in her head, Miss M notices she is still alive. She opens her eyes.

Maleficent: I can't do it. I can't believe this, but I can't kill you. I don't know what it is about you dork girl, but you've struck a chord in me. I have to free myself from the shackles of my past. I wasn't invited to that party. And it hurt. It hurts to be different, because others have to be so cruel. I just wanted to be liked. To find my own happily ever after. That dull blond girl never did a thing to me. Just like you didn't do anything to me either.

Miss M: Thank you.

Maleficent: Plus, you did reunite me with my dragon figurine. For that I will always be grateful. So, I will revoke the curse! I call back the darkness.

Miss M: That's it? That's all you needed to do?
Maleficent: Of course darling.

Miss M: All right. Cool. Now, do you think you could maybe put me back in my original body like you said you would?

Maleficent: Don't push it dear. Besides, this new look... suits you. Take care dork girl.

Maleficent walks away.

Maleficent: Well Miss Elizabeth, you can rest easy. The precious After Life and the world down below are safe. The darkness is gone. Until we battle again.

Miss Elizabeth: Until then.

Back on Earth...

April: You guys, Splinter doesn't look so good.

Michelangelo: Yeah dudes, April is right. He looks strange.

Raphael: Damn it! Where is the doctor?!
Donatello: Let me feel his pulse.
Leonardo: Well Donnie?

Donatello: You guys, his pulse is really weak.

Splinter begins to cough up blood and begins shaking violently.

April cries out as Mona Lisa rushes off to find help. The Turtles begin to panic as the brave man who has been the only father they've ever known begins to die.

Leonardo: Guys, we're losing him!
Michelangelo: Splinter, dude, come on! Don't die on us.

April: Oh please, this can't be happening. Someone help him!

Back in the After Life...

Miss Elizabeth: I can feel things starting to go back to normal.

Ed: Way to go Miss M! You saved the day!
Angela: Yeah. Good job.

Miss M: Yep. So, umm, what happens next? Do I stay up here? I'm technically still alive.

Miss Elizabeth: Well those who are gone will be fading back to the After Life, so, it would stand to reason that those who are alive here will need to make their way back to Earth. You might want to say your goodbyes M.

Miss M: Right.

Ed: Aww shucks M. We didn't get that much time.
Miss M: I know Ed. It's kinda sad. I was hoping to spend more time with you.
Ed: Me too. You're still the coolest girl I've ever met.
Miss M: Yeah. You're a pretty cool guy. I guess this is goodbye for now. And only for now!
Ed: Yeah, you'll know where to find me.

Miss M: I'm gonna really miss you.
Ed: At least we get a proper goodbye. The first time you left, you really left. I was looking all over for you.
Miss M: I know. I'm so sorry about that.
Ed: It's cool dorky girl of my dreams.
Miss M: Keep my Crystal Castle replica warm for me?

Ed: (hugs Miss M tight) Of course. I'll be there waiting for you, which, I hope is a long time from now. Go to Earth and live your life.
Miss M: Thanks Ed. (kisses him on the cheek)

Ed: Holy moly. I really have died and gone to the After Life.
Miss M: Bye.

Miss M prepares to walk off.

Miss M: Umm, wait a second. Where do I go?

Miss Elizabeth: Come on, I'll take you to where you need to be. I have to show you something before you go. This way.

Back on Earth...

The Turtles are in anguish as their worst nightmare comes to life. A world without their Master Splinter.

April: Donnie! Do something!

Donatello: I can't. Guys. I can't save him.

Michelangelo: Dude!? What are you saying?

Raphael: Don't say it Donnie. Don't say it.

Leonardo: He doesn't have to. Master Splinter is dead. Isn't he?

Donatello: I'm sorry guys (chokes back a sob) He's gone.

Gripped in sadness, the room breaks down. They only have each other now.

Back in the After Life...

Miss M: What is this place Miss Elizabeth?

Miss Elizabeth: This is the heart of the After Life. If you stand still you can tune in with the entire universe around you. Go ahead M, listen to everything. We're all instruments and pieces of the universe. Once we are able to truly calm ourselves and avoid the noises around us, we can then truly feel the universe in its glory.

Miss M: (stands still feeling only the beat of her heart)

Miss Elizabeth: Do you feel it yet?

Miss M: (tears fall down her face) It's beautiful. I'm feeling it. I feel like I am truly a part of the universe. I've never felt like this before. (she flinches slightly) Ouch.

Miss Elizabeth: Sometimes it hurts. There's a mix out there. Nothing can ever truly stay beautiful and last forever. People come and go. Goodbyes are a part of life.

Miss M: I'm beginning to understand that.

Miss Elizabeth: It's almost time for you to go back M. But before you do, I also brought you here to offer you something. A second chance. A way to receive what your heart wants most.
Miss M: You mean?
Miss Elizabeth: Yes. If you wish to return to Earth in your original body, it can be done.
Miss M: That can really happen?

Miss Elizabeth: It's not supposed to, but you helped save the world. Now all you have to do is close your eyes and let the universe in. Let your heart's wish come true. It will hear you, it will feel you. No need to speak it. Now go ahead, there isn't much time left.

She continues to listen carefully, hearing the cries and joys of the universe. Something whispers to her, and just like that she opens her heart fully.

Miss M closes her eyes and continues to bare her heart. Tears form in her eyes. She knows what she must do and she hopes the universe can really hear her.

The Universe listens and envelopes her with its love.

Miss Elizabeth stands still and watches Miss M fade away, returning to Earth.

Miss Elizabeth: Good bye my dear. The universe heard you, and granted what was in your heart.

Back on Earth...

Mona Lisa: I can't find any help! Why isn't someone able to help?

Leonardo: It's too late. Splinter didn't make it.

Mona Lisa: (turns to Michelangelo) Oh Mikey.

April: Splinter was the sweetest man. He can't be gone.

Donatello: (shakes his head in shock) I couldn't save him.
Raphael: ...
Michelangelo: How are we going to get through this?

Suddenly, they hear a slight groan.

Michelangelo: Master Splinter?

Splinter: (whispers in pain) My sons...

Leonardo: No way.

Raphael: How? Is he really alive?

Donatello: Maybe I had it wrong. He's still with us.

Splinter: (sits up slowly) I felt like I died. I was in this different place. There was a gray castle with blue tops, and a lady with a white dress on smiling so warmly...

April: Splinter, it's ok. You're here with us. My goodness, you just about scared us.

The gang sits close to Splinter, content that their family member is alive and well.

Unknown to them, Miss M stands off in the distance watching over them.

She quickly leaves before anyone can notice her there.

In other parts of the world...

Batman: Are you guys ok?

Deanna Troi: I think so. I can't believe we crashed on Earth. Luckily the jolt forced us out of the broom closet.
Batman: Who was flying the ship?

Beverly Crusher: Some weird man with a skull for a face.

Batman: Hmm. Bizarre. No one has been able to find him...

Star-Lord: Well, we made it to Earth.

Gamora: Barely. Next time, just take control of the blasted ship.

Star-Lord: I will remember that. So, are you guys ready to go see our movie?

Groot: I am. Groot.

Star-Lord: All right big guy. Let's go.

Pinky Pie: Oh am I glad to see you guys back to normal!

Fluttershy: I know Pinky Pie. It was so scary being under the spell of that evil Maleficent.

Spitfire: How come I haven't changed back totally?

Pinky Pie: Probably budget constraints. Come on, let's get back to Ponyville. We'll throw a big party!

Batman: (scans the crowd) I wonder where Miss M is at...

Off to herself, Miss M does the one thing that always helps her feel better. She writes in her diary...

Dear Diary,

The threat of Maleficent is over. Darkness is no more. The world is as it should be. Sort of. I'm still not in my body. But it's ok. Once I felt Splinter's pain, I knew what was in my heart. They need him. More than I need my old body. They'll never know, and they'll never need to know what I did. Being a hero is not about the glory or the costume. It's about doing the right thing. I haven't always been good with that. But I felt the universe. It was like dancing. The world around us is a beautiful place and I don't care what body I'm in. I'm happy that I get to keep living in it. 

Now my next steps are unsure. I don't know where my story will take me. I know others are finding love. New friendships are being formed. And there are people that need to still answer for their crimes. But I'm here. And somewhere right now in my old house, four brothers are going to spend many more years with their father. So for now, all is right in the universe.

-Miss M

August 2014 Woman of Wonderosity

Thus concludes the end to the month long Total Darkness event! I can't thank you enough for reading and being a part of this story. I have enjoyed the comments and the one shots that you guys participated with. I hope everyone is doing well. Stick around though, there's more to come!


  1. Great story arc, it was awesome, and loved the other's one shots they made, I kept trying to get something together, but life and my own site kept getting in the way, but you've done a great thing here, can't wait to see where it all goes next.

    1. Thank you! And yes, the work that everyone else did was so good. I really enjoyed reading them too. And don't worry about getting something together, I will more than likely be doing something like this again. I just need to figure it out. I usually plan these stories months in advance, so I will try to do something like this again. Thanks for reading and liking it. It took me forever to get this all done. lol I hope you are having a nice Labor Day!

  2. nice and a touching end to the saga for like you toy miss m has a heart of gold that once she learned about splingers condition figured she would give don and the others being able to still have him. plus love how she also beat Malicifient just talking. and can't wait to see toy miss m sooner or later at last going after velvet sky for her justice.

  3. OK-first off, will I be less of a man to you if I tell you that I cried while reading this? Because, if your answer is "yes"-then I TOTALLY did NOT cry! But these weird streams of water did come out of my eyes when you said goodbye to Ed. I love Ed, and I already miss him. I want him to be real and to be your real life boyfriend. I would rather have Ed date you than have ME date you! And that is saying something!!

    Second, are you a Star Trek the Next Generation fan? I always thought Deanna Troi was hot!! My fave character is Picard though. Even though I love the 60's show, I still prefer him to Kirk. Oh, and I love Q.

    And there is a scene in this story that is really and truly beautiful, it reminded me of my life. The part where you see Mona Lisa, and you casually refer to Mikey as his "girlfriend"-and he doesn't correct you. And you are heartbroken, but you have to press on. THAT scene is why you are such a talented writer M! You can hit home so well, in ways other writers cannot, and scenes like that reveal how awesome you are at it.

    And I do miss your old body, but I'm starting to think you should dress as "Moth Lady" for Halloween this year!!

  4. Thank you for this comment demoncat! I hope that it was a heartfelt story. And I always love the ending of a potential battle by just being a simple conversation. lol Hope you have been doing well.