Oh the tangled webs we weave. And not the kind that rests on Entrapta's head. The world is in trouble. Score one for the good guys though, because we got power running again in the city! Granted, it took electrocuting Megatron with a lightning Gremlin to get things going, but what does it matter? Good prevailed. Now I'm just heading to my old house that I lived in when I was alive in my old body. I really want to be back in my old body. This whole sharing space with someone else is for crap. Moth Lady's hair is crimped. And I mean crimped! No amount of deep conditioning is going to give me good hair. Ever. That's not why I want to go back to my old body though. I miss my old life. I miss Michelangelo. I know he is moving on with Mona Lisa, but that doesn't matter! Once he sees me, sees that I am alive, well... We'll fall into each others arms and we can go back to the way things were. Before I was murdered by Velvet Sky. When is she going to pay for her crimes? That's what I want to know. Oh well, it doesn't matter. I've got to go Diary. I'm about to be in my old house. I hope the Turtles have been taking care of the place in my sort of non-deathly absence.
Ed: But, they're talking Ninja Turtles. Hasn't the ship of reality sailed away long ago?
Miss M: (stares at Michelangelo's lady friend, standing in M's house) I want to scream right now.
Mona Lisa: Excuse me?
Mona Lisa: (looks at the group) Batman, a lady in white, and a guy in a panda suit walk into a house...
Miss M: Yeah, I'm sure it's the start of a funny joke. Can we just come in? The world is crazy out there.
Mona Lisa: Yes, please, come inside.
Mona Lisa: Shredder and the Foot. We were ambushed earlier.
Michelangelo: Umm, yeah. What are you doing here?
Michelangelo: Yeah, it sucks. The house is a mess.
Miss M: (closes her eyes at the sting that he didn't correct her when she mentioned Mona Lisa as his girlfriend) So, who was injured?
Miss M: (her heart sinks) Splinter?
Leonardo: Who are you?
Donatello: Yeah, how do you know Master Splinter?
Miss M: (lies) When I was living under a bridge, he'd visit me. He'd bring me some food and regale me with tales from his soap opera.
Leonardo: Yeah, but now that power has been restored to the city, maybe we can get him to the hospital.
Raphael: We can't move him bro.
Miss M: Sure. I just need to figure out where to go, and we'll get a group together.
Donatello: Yeah, that means a lot.
Miss M: (looks at Michelangelo) I'll go get the others.
Miss M: Yes?
Miss M: I know.
The two stare at each other and a weird moment occurs. Suddenly, Miss M turns to the sound of barking.
Michelangelo: Chewie, come here boy. Over here, leave the nice lady alone.
Miss M: Oh, it's ok. Chewie huh? That's a cute name. I didn't peg you for the type to own a pink dog.
Michelangelo: Well, I mean, boy dogs can be pink too.
Miss M: Oh, I know. I know this lady who has a pet. It's actually a large cat, more like a lion, and it's a boy and totally pink. Come to think of it, Clawdeen has better hair than me. That is so sad.
Miss M: Never mind me! So, Chewie huh? How long have you had this precious doggy?
Michelangelo: Umm, since Christmas time. He was actually meant to be a gift for my deceased girlfriend.
Miss M: Oh?
here to refresh your memory!) So like I snuck off and got this little dude for her. I wasn't sure if she would have been ok getting another dog so soon, but I just wanted to make her the happiest babe in the universe.
Michelangelo: Yeah. I'd like to think she would have too.
Miss M: Well Michelangelo, I've got to find a doctor for Splinter. (looks down at Chewie) Bye sweetness!
Miss M: (closes her eyes) I'm glad he likes me.
Michelangelo: All right. Gnarly.
Meanwhile at the offices of Diary of a Dorkette...
The creepy lady keeps saying that. Why does she keep saying that Rod?
Tod: Rod, are we going to hell?
Tod: I don't want to die in here.
Prince Adrian: Yes! I am a prince and there are princesses that must be saved. We need to figure this out.
Donald Duck: (looks on at the melee in horror) Eww. That's gotta hurt.
Tod: I want candy!
Brandine: Hey, look ah that. The lights are on. I gotta get to the corner store!
Down on Main Street...
Angela: Wouldn't we need a veterinarian for that?
Miss M: Look, up ahead is the hospital. We'll get help.
Pinky Pie: Something really bad is about to happen and as your Spirit Pony I just want to help you in any way I can.
Miss M: Could you be more specific?
Maleficent: I'm only here for Miss Elizabeth and the dork girl.
Angela: You'll have to go through me.
Miss M: Batman! Find a doctor!
Fluttershy: Not now Pinky Pie. We serve Maleficent now.
Pinky Pie: Well I just don't like that one bit.
Hey Leo! You wouldn't have happened to see my Guy Friday and Irma around here, would you?
Leonardo: No we haven't. I actually was hoping you were our new friends with the doctor.
Doctor? Who needs a doctor?
Master Splinter. Oh April, it's really bad. I'm worried he's not going to make it.
In the After Life...
Maleficent: You're absolutely right. Everyone is dead up here. But you.
Miss M: Well... that really wasn't the part I wanted you to focus on.
Miss M: That doesn't sound like fun.
Miss Elizabeth: Maleficent! Stop this at once!
Plus, you did reunite me with my dragon figurine. For that I will always be grateful. So, I will revoke the curse! I call back the darkness.
Maleficent: Of course darling.
Back on Earth...
Donatello: Let me feel his pulse.
Leonardo: Well Donnie?
Leonardo: Guys, we're losing him!
Michelangelo: Splinter, dude, come on! Don't die on us.
Back in the After Life...
Angela: Yeah. Good job.
Miss M: I know Ed. It's kinda sad. I was hoping to spend more time with you.
Ed: Me too. You're still the coolest girl I've ever met.
Miss M: Yeah. You're a pretty cool guy. I guess this is goodbye for now. And only for now!
Ed: Yeah, you'll know where to find me.
Ed: At least we get a proper goodbye. The first time you left, you really left. I was looking all over for you.
Miss M: I know. I'm so sorry about that.
Ed: It's cool dorky girl of my dreams.
Miss M: Keep my Crystal Castle replica warm for me?
Miss M: Thanks Ed. (kisses him on the cheek)
Miss M: Bye.
Miss M: Umm, wait a second. Where do I go?
Back on Earth...
Back in the After Life...
Miss M: You mean?
Miss Elizabeth: Yes. If you wish to return to Earth in your original body, it can be done.
Miss M: That can really happen?
Back on Earth...
Michelangelo: How are we going to get through this?
In other parts of the world...
The threat of Maleficent is over. Darkness is no more. The world is as it should be. Sort of. I'm still not in my body. But it's ok. Once I felt Splinter's pain, I knew what was in my heart. They need him. More than I need my old body. They'll never know, and they'll never need to know what I did. Being a hero is not about the glory or the costume. It's about doing the right thing. I haven't always been good with that. But I felt the universe. It was like dancing. The world around us is a beautiful place and I don't care what body I'm in. I'm happy that I get to keep living in it.
Now my next steps are unsure. I don't know where my story will take me. I know others are finding love. New friendships are being formed. And there are people that need to still answer for their crimes. But I'm here. And somewhere right now in my old house, four brothers are going to spend many more years with their father. So for now, all is right in the universe.
August 2014 Woman of Wonderosity