Friday, June 1, 2012

June 2012 Heroic Hottie!

June is upon us. The year has been flying by way too quickly, but luckily for everyone each new month brings us the hottest plastic beefcake across all the land. This month features a rather interesting Heroic Hottie. Dear readers, I have never conducted quite an awkward interview as the one that you are about to read. So let's jump right on in, shall we? The June 2012 Heroic Hottie is: Roadblock!

There are two parts to this interview. Roadblock originally sat down with me on May 3rd 2012 to discuss a few things, namely his big starring role in G.I. Joe Retaliation!

Diary- So, you are the first G.I. Joe to be a Heroic Hottie, how does that feel?
Roadblock- Can you smell what the Roadblock is cookin?
Diary- Umm, no, not really. I didn't know that you like to cook.
Roadblock- It was an expression. Geesh. Anyway, I am very honored to be the June 2012 Heroic Hottie. Getting a title like that makes my job worth it.
Diary- Speaking of jobs, what are your thoughts on being in G.I. Joe Retaliation?
Roadblock- The best. It was incredibly badass to have a camera crew follow the Joes around, fighting to save the world.

Diary- And the world was saved. Can you give us any details about which members of Cobr-
Roadblock- Don't mention that word! That group of evil miscreants is to remain nameless at all times. Saying their name aloud could allow them to slither into your heart. Just know that the badguys get their asses handed to them. The cameras captured it all.
Diary- Saving the world must take a lot of strength. What do you do to stay in shape?
Roadblock- I work on cars. I wrestle snakes. I also have a great body sculptor.

Diary- What do you hope fans will get out of Retaliation?
Roadblock- A good summer flick. Some think this movie is all fake, but I assure you, fans will be living for this movie. The movie is so real it will reach out and lay the smack down on ya.
Diary- Oh, so will there be 3D added to the screens?
Roadblock- No. Why would the studio do that?
Diary- If you could star in any other summer movie, which one would it be?
Roadblock- Probably Magic Mike. Just look at my body. I'm built like a rock. I would've been perfect for that movie. Channing Tatum would have had nothing on me!

Diary- Do you ever get mistaken for any other Joe?
Roadblock- No, not really the Joes, but I was confused for a tan, beefed up version of Dr. Mindbender. That only happened once. That person has now learned better.
Diary- Anything else you'd like to add?
Roadblock- Sure. Thank you Miss M and DiaryofaDorkette for naming me the June 2012 Heroic Hottie. Now go out and see G.I. Joe Retaliation on June 29th! I promise, this movie will make 2012 forever known as the year of the ninja!

Normally that would be the conclusion to most interviews for a Heroic Hottie. However a few weeks after the original interview with Roadblock took place, the world was shocked to hear that G.I. Joe Retaliation would be pushed back to March 2013 (Or so fans everywhere hope.) Thankfully Roadblock was willing to give a follow up interview to DiaryofaDorkette as well as finishing out his photoshoot! Read on dorky folk!

Diary- With the recent news that the studio has decided to push the release of G.I. Joe Retaliation to March 29th 2013 (fingers crossed) are there any thoughts going through your mind that you'd like to share?
Roadblock- I just feel at a loss right now. This all just came out of left field. We've been promoting the film heavily and now we just have to play the waiting game.
Diary- Can you comment on what went wrong?
Roadblock- I can't. It wouldn't be safe to say right now.
Diary- Safe? You make it sound like there is some sort of foul play going on.
Roadblock- No, not at all. The studio just wants to convert the film to 3D.
Diary- That is interesting. Well Roadblock, lucky for us, DiaryofaDorkette has an investigative reporter as part of the crew. April O'Neil is new to the site, she is on loan to us from Channel 6 News. She did some digging and found out that the original studio that owned the film was recently bought out by a start up film company by the name of Hiss Studios. Any comments?
Roadblock- This is the first I have heard of this, there should probably be a better investigation just to make sure...
Diary- Is it possible that Cobra is responsible for all this?
Roadblock- I told you never to say that word! Great. Now I need to think about this, maybe contact the other Joes. A movie release shouldn't be this annoying... (after this statement Roadblock went into the Tebow, or was just wanting to concentrate and wipe his eyes from all the studio drama.)

Editor's note: at this point during the interview and photoshoot, someone blasted in and demanded full attention.

Diary- Excuse me! You can't just walk into a closed set! We were conducting an interview!
Cobra Commander- I don't care! Do you have any idea who I am? I am Cobra Commander. Leader of COBRA!!!
Diary- I realize who you are, but what are you doing here?
C.C.- I heard this little interview was happening and I thought I'd drop on in. I actually have a bone to pick with you lady.
Diary- Oh really? And what would that be?
C.C.- I've been reading your little lame excuse for a blog, and month after month I have to endure your objectification over Heroic Hotties. What about me? Where is my title for Heroic Hottie? I am Cobra Commander, am I not hot enough?
Diary- You are not a hero. Listen you little miserable man, the Heroic Hottie is a special title designated for heroes!
C.C.- Well that changes, starting now. From now on, I will be the June 2012 Heroic hottie.
Diary- Or... I could just create an award for hot villains. I could call it... Bodacious Badguys.
C.C.- Trashy. What are you trying to do, deter people from reading your lousy site? Listen up chick, let's change up this location. Snap some photos of my fine self and give me a proper interview.

And that is what happened...

Diary- So what was it like starring in G.I. Joe Retaliation? You actually look different from the first G.I. Joe film.
C.C. First of all, what a lousy name for a film. I would've preferred something better. Secondly, as Cobra Commander, I have many looks.
Diary- (in reference to the title) Well let me guess, the movie should have had your name in it? How obvious coming from the likes of you.
C.C.- Watch that mouth she-devil!
Diary- Or what? You'll toss me in the Cobra Arena of Sport?

C.C.- COBRA! I don't know how you can call this an interview. Lousy. Just lousy.
Diary- What are your thoughts on the movie being moved for a 2013 release?
C.C.- I love it. It gives the new studio plenty of time to change some things. Did you know that the G.I. Joe action figure heroes have it in their contracts that they have to win in every movie and/or TV episode that is made? It disgusts me.
Diary- Interesting. Do you know anything about the sudden appearance of Hiss Studios?
C.C.- Why no, of course not. I'm just the mere leader of Cobra. It's not like I'm trying to rule the world or anything.
Diary- If you had control to make any changes to the movie, what would they be?
C.C.- Easy. To make Cobra win of course.

Diary- What do you think of the new location for your special photo shoot?
C.C.- (After pausing to look around Snake Mountain) Eh. It's ok. I think the original owners were trying too hard. That large green snake isn't even real!
Diary- Are you the owner of Hiss Studios?
C.C.- I won't even dignify that with a response! How dare you try to trick me with your awful questions.
Diary- Fair enough. Final question, and then we can finally be done with each other. What's it like being the Heroic Hottie for June?
C.C.- I'll be honest, it's not what I thought it'd be. It's better! COBRA!!!

There you have it. A very interesting Heroic Hottie. It seems the battle between good and evil will be going on for some time to come.

Enjoy the images of hotness and be sure to see G.I. Joe Retaliation out in theaters ????

Also be sure to check out more DiaryofaDorkette this weekend. Adora's Search for Honor Part 1: Chapter 20 will be out on Saturday or Sunday. It is not to be missed and will feature a POP fave that has not been mentioned yet!   

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