Women of Wonder! October 2024: Hallows' Eve

 It's Halloween! The time where mayhem delights in all things wicked!

Across town under Wayne Manor...

Yvie: Wow. So this is where you and Uncle Robin used to work saving the city?

Bruce Wayne: Yes. 

Yvie: And he worked in the circus?

Bruce Wayne: Still sort of does.

Yvie: Wow. He's so cool. When can he come over for dinner?

Bruce Wayne: I'm sure he'll be at the wedding.

Yvie: When he comes to visit, can we use those Kapow words with pretend fighting?

Bruce Wayne: Maybe. I actually don't know what to do with those now that I think about it.

 

Yvie: Ok. So... Can we drive in your bat car?

Bruce Wayne: Oh that vehicle is out of commission right now Yvie.

Miss M: There you two are. I've been calling for y'all. Dinner is ready.

Bruce Wayne: I was showing Yvie the Bat Cave.

Miss M: I see that. Pretty cool down here huh?

Yvie: I can't get over this place. 

Miss M: Well, the tour will have to continue another time. We need to eat dinner, and get ready for some trick-r-treating.

Yvie: Can we have a guest? Like Mister Beetlejuice...

Miss M: Oh no. Remember. We don't say his name in this house. Not since what happened last year. 

Yvie: Ooook. Soooo, can I wear my costume while I eat?

Miss M: My sweet daughter, you've been doing that all week. I'm not stopping you now. You could have been wearing it all month.

Yvie: Wait, I could?

Bruce Wayne: Most likely. You know how much your mom loves Halloween.

Yvie: (stares in Pikachu meme face)

Bruce Wayne: Ok, get upstairs. We'll be right behind you. Maybe we'll wear some costumes for dinner too.

Yvie: Dad! No maybe! We're all wearing costumes. It's Halloween. You said!

Miss M: You did say.

Bruce Wayne: I know. I promised. It's just next year I'm picking our costumes.

Miss M: We'll see.

Bruce Wayne: Cooking dinner huh? How can I convince you that we can hire someone to help with all of that?

Miss M: Umm no. We don't need to hire anyone, not with my cooking skills. 

Bruce Wayne: When Alfred was alive...

Miss M: Bruce. Stop. We may live in the fancy house, but we can manage all this on our own.

Bruce Wayne: Wait. You're doing that thing, where you try to hide a look of panic on your face but it doesn't work. You didn't just come down here to announce that dinner is prepared. What's wrong?

 

Miss M: Everything. Bruce, I don't even know where to begin!

Across town at the Diary of a Dorkette Office.

Megan Fox: Well, well, well. What a different a location makes hmm? This place looks dustier than the last office space.

April: Wow, look who finally decided to show up after living the high life for the past year! Megan. I wish I could say it's good to see you, but I'm trying to work on being more honest. Still some time to make my new year resolution stick.

Megan Fox: This is quite a look. Going dressed as someone with a bird brain?

April: As fun as it would be to do this little dance, I'm trying to get ready for my Halloween party this evening. What do you want?

Megan Fox: I really thought we had moved on from our petty animosities. Last year when we agreed to run the Diary together, I really thought we had what it took to become a dynamic duo. To really change the face of blogging journalism. I was considering you someone set to be a real friend.

Megan Fox: And then I had to find out that you are leaving the Diary at the end of the year, that the office was relocated to whatever dilapidated former villain lair this is, and that it is quite possible we will be out of a job in the new year. April, why didn't you tell me?

April: Why didn't I tell you? Seriously?

April: We agreed to do this together. Put our past behind us. Work together to bring this blog to new heights. And then you up and left to do what? Live a life in Hollywood? Write poetry and make movies? And not even a Jennifer's Body sequel mind you! I needed you here!

Megan Fox: I was there for our investor meetings, I made it to as many conference calls as I could...

April: No. You don't get an 'atta girl' for showing up on Zoom every now and then. Megan. I'm getting too old for this. I'm tired. I don't want to keep doing this. Our numbers are dwindling. You were supposed to be my partner in this. I've been alone.

Megan Fox: What about M? She's your head writer, surely she's been of some help?

April: Really? M puts through some decent work, but she's been planning a wedding and living her fairy tale fantasy in that dreary mansion. She's probably ready for this blog to wrap up.

Megan Fox: You don't mean that. April.

April: But I do. I'm done. It'll be yours to fix and care for. But, with your fancy glamorous life, I don't think you'll bring much to the table. You're probably headed to a private jet in a couple hours to make it back to your sunny life.

April: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to find a way to attach some massive wings to this costume. So nice of you to stop by.

Megan Fox: I guess that's it then. 

Back to the Bat Cave...

Miss M: So basically that's it. April is leaving the blog by the end of the year. She has yet to tell me. I found out from some gossip site. I don't know how we're going to get the feature for the month rolled out. I just don't understand any of this.

Bruce Wayne: Are you worried you'll be out of a job?

Miss M: Well yeah. I mean. You know how many times the Diary has been on the verge of collapse, but this really seems like it will happen. And no, I do not need you tell me that you'll take care of this or that I don't need to worry about working. That you'll just make it all ok. That is not going to help me.

Bruce Wayne: I wasn't going to do that. I mean, if you asked for my help you know I'd do anything for you, but I'm not trying to fix this. 

Miss M: I don't even think April is going to post what I wrote. She didn't even allow the budget for what I really wanted to do.

Bruce Wayne: Well, what did you want to do?

Miss M: Oh Bruce, I wanted it to be a huge extravaganza of spooky fun celebrating women and just how creepy cool we are.

Miss M: I was going to summon Lilith. She was going to cause some kind of mayhem involving possession of old McDonald's Halloween buckets. Each one was going to have their own silly personality, like of M&Ms!

Miss M: And the mayhem would continue with Lucy dressed innocently enough as a cowgirl, but she'd set some weird football trick that would cause candy to be released from a giant floating pumpkin. It'd be raining candy everywhere. She'd be calling everyone a blockhead, it'd really create this juxtaposition of enjoying tricks and treats.

Bruce Wayne: Do you know that none of this really makes sense?

Miss M: No, but I do know that we'd have Wendy's and McDonald's as sponsors. I mean Wendy's has been killing this Halloween season with their fast food premiums, we've truly made a return to a proper Halloween toy themed fast food promotion. 

Miss M: And then we'd have Bloodstorm show up, because why not? I've told stranger tales than this!

Miss M: We'd have fancy macabre sculptures from some guy in the dairy world. It was set to be an epic celebration of Halloween that was going to wrap up nicely with April's Annual Halloween Party with interviews from a giant list of who's who.

Miss M: But now, it's just, I mean I don't even know if we should go to her party tonight. 

Miss M: What's the point? I'm going to show up and just pretend like I don't know what I know? I'd rather stay up late watching horror movies and going through Yvie's candy for the PayDays and Nerds.

Bruce Wayne: But you love April's Halloween parties.

Miss M: Bruce. You know I do. But something is off with her.

Bruce Wayne: Maybe she just wants to retire? Enjoy a nice quiet life with Casey?

Miss M: Ok. Great. But let me know about it. Don't make all these plans and keep it a secret when it impacts lives. She's one of my oldest friends. 

Bruce Wayne: What could be off with her? You think it's the wedding?

Miss M: No. Why on earth would us getting married be causing her to be so different?

Bruce Wayne: I don't know. This doesn't make any sense. But, I'm always here for you. 

Miss M: I know. I love you. 

Bruce Wayne: I love you more. Now come on, let's see what our daughter is up to and get ready to enjoy the night. Forget the party. We'll binge Halloween movies and be candy bandits.

Miss M: That sounds perfect.

Across town at April's Annual Halloween Party...

Hallows' Eve: Here we go. This mask should do.

Hallows' Eve: Perfect way to sneak all the candy for myself. And maybe even some coins from unsuspecting party goers.

Hallows' Eve: Ahh yes. This is the face of pure terror.

Hallows' Eve: No one will be the wiser.

Hallows' Eve: This plan is perfect.

Hallows' Eve: The ungrateful people of this town don't even know what terror I am about to unleash on the most splendid of nights.

Hallows' Eve: Hey, someone there? 

Hallows' Eve: I don't like little annoying kiddies that want to try and surprise me. Now come out and quit playing.

Hallows' Eve: Oh, a big kid.

Baroness: Please. I loathe this night. The commercialization of wicked behaviors is lame.

Hallows' Eve: I don't mind it. If all goes well I'll be rewarded with a lot of treats.

Baroness: I really adore the simple aspirations of two bit criminals. Petty theft? I can provide you with something worth more than whatever small scraps you pick from the guests at this party.

Hallows' Eve: Really? And what might that be?

Baroness: I've been struggling to find someone to commit a deadly crime. No one wants to get their hands dirty anymore. However, desperation makes for good times. I'll pay you a million dollars to murder someone.

Hallows' Eve: Who are we talking? A politician? Super hero?

Baroness: A dorkette. On her wedding day no less. 

Hallows' Eve: I'm interested. When do you need this done?

Baroness: December. Do you think you can manage?

Hallows' Eve: Count me in.

To be continued!