Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Toy Chest Tuesday! Princess Allura

Hello dear readers! Can you believe it is another Toy Chest Tuesday already? The week just seems to fly by. So today we are going to look at something really special. Princess Allura from Voltron: Defender of the Universe! Alright here is a little tidbit about Princess Allura, remember folks, every good toy needs a backstory. In the 80's I was the quintessential girly girl. Anything swathed in pink had my seal of approval. Those pink Barbie doll boxes? Sold. The card backs for Princess of Power toys? Really sold. And of course there was Princess Allura from Voltron.

I was not the biggest fan of the old Voltron cartoon, but I would watch it. The basic premise was that a group of space pilots each rode a specific robotic lion. The individual lions would join together to form Voltron, a larger robot that was the defender of the universe. Voltron battled against King Zarkon and his various robeasts that hailed from Planet Doom. (Not a place most people would go to vacation I imagine.)

Anyways each episode was basically the same. The pilots would face a new threat from King Zarkon, each one more strange than the last. The heroes would soon ride in their lions fighting and trying to stop the enemies until they'd need to form Voltron and usually split the enemy in half with Voltron's blazing sword. That was really it. 

The toys were what really got me interested in the show. Most notably Princess Allura. I never had the Voltron toys when I was younger, but my cousin did. I loved playing toys with my cousin, he always had the coolest stuff. Of course I never understood why he wanted Princess Allura from Voltron. I was like, "Clearly Allura likes pink. As do I. So therefore I should get to keep her." I was a bit of a diva. I'd beg and plead for him to give me his Princess Allura toy. I'd even offer to trade my own toys for her. However my cousin was not interested in Day to Night Barbie, Sweet Secrets,  or my assortment of She-Ra dolls.

Looking back I can't even believe I would offer to part with my She-Ra dolls for Princess Allura. That is just crazy! Anyways time marched on as it always does and I eventually got over not having a Princess Allura toy. Now fast forward to the present. As an adult with computer access to Ebay, it was only a matter of time before I would buy my very own Princess Allura figure! And here she is! 

This is the package she came in. Allura comes with a helmet and lion key. When I got this I was slightly let down, I had forgotten how small she was. Other than that, I think she is awesome!

Here is a closer picture. I loved the pink boots. I have also had a very difficult time deciding if I should open her or not. I feel like it would be awful to open such a national treasure. Plus with Mattel revisioning the classic Voltron toys in 2012, it might make more sense for this vintage find to stay minty fresh.

This is the back of the package. The top picture is an adventure scene depicting a Voltron story. There is also a bio card of Allura in her traditional gown. She is seen holding a space mouse, which were actually really cute from the cartoon. I don't normally tend to like mice or other rodents, but I could actually keep a space mouse as a pet. Well probably just a toy version.

Here is a larger picture of the adventure scene. In it we find Allura piloting the blue lion into the Arusian Sea to save her friends, Keith, Lance, Pidge, and Hunk. Hunk was my favorite guy character. He was actually a hunk, his name described him perfectly. I always thought he was cute, and he is sooo adorable in the new cartoon. I also realize how sad it is that I find a cartoon character to be cute. I also love that Allura crashed into the sea and is waving to her friends as if to say, "Hey ya'll! I just crashed into this body of water to save everyone! Let's party!"

Anyway here is my thing about Allura. I recently began watching the old episodes of Voltron in preparation of the new Voltron on Nick Toons. I have to say, vintage toon Allura is incredibly annoying! I was like, "Say it ain't so!" Ok so the original five pilots were Keith, Lance, Pidge, Hunk and Sven. In the beginning these guys get into the lions and have no problem driving them. They could drive the lions in their sleep, no big deal. Got it?

So something happens to Sven and he ends up out of commission. Naturally Allura steps in to pilot the blue lion. Now explain to me why homegirl can't drive for nothin! For like the whole first season she can't drive the blue lion at all and just wrecks a bunch of shit. I'm like really? Why does the only main girl on the show have to look like she can't drive the blue lion? Especially when these lions come from her home planet! Shouldn't she already instinctively know how to drive them? Really?

Stuff like that annoys me so much. I know at the end of the day it doesn't matter because it is an old cartoon, but girls need to represent in these shows. Silly me-as-the-fool ends up in life or death debates with hulking nerd guys and there is just no way I can justify Allura as being the coolest lion pilot. Those rough and tough nerdy guys just chew me up and spit me out. Come on Allura, get it together! 

Thank goodness she seems to have some more sense and skills in the updated cartoon. I mean really. If She-Ra can pick up a large Horde ship and throw it across the galaxy surely Allura can avoid crashing the blue lion into the side of a mountain. That's all I'm askin for. 

Here is another larger picture of Allura's bio card. Her home planet is Arus. She pilots the blue lion. The secret location of the blue lion is at the lake surrounding her huge castle. The interlock position of the blue lion forms the right leg of Voltron. Personality wise she is brave, beautiful, and kind. (And she can't drive.) She is also the daughter of the late King Alfor and is the sovereign leader of the people of Arus.

On a related note, let's look at the timeline between the old cartoon and the current one. I think she totally hooked up with Keith and Lance. I believe with all my heart that the red headed girl on the new cartoon is actually Allura's daughter, not her niece! I see so much unanswered longing and tension between Allura and those two men. I can see it now, they both loved her and she got to business with them both. One of them knocked her up and she ran off to give birth and has been lying that the baby is her niece. I mean Allura has no siblings! How can she have a niece? That is her daughter! See this is what growing up with All My Children and One Life to Live does to a person!

So that is it for this edition of Toy Chest Tuesday! I'm thinking of doing a new profile on toys too! It is tentatively going to be called "Trashy or Timeless?" I plan on looking at certain toys and dolls from my collection and letting us ask ourselves the most important question, is it trashy or timeless? Get ready folks, it is gonna get real dorky, real quick!

Monday, August 29, 2011

Night of the Living Roach 3: A New Breed

To learn more about the recent events from Night of the Living Roach, check out

Night of the Living Roach 2: The Return

Night of the Living Roach

And now, prepare for...

Night of the Living Roach 3
A New Breed

A few days have passed since the lovely Miss M survived the horrible events of Dumpstor's attack and the dangerous journey into the Attic. With April O'Neil 1st edition out of the Attic, Miss M finds herself taking April and Mermista to the Spa Sink. Centrally located in the downstairs Restroom, the Spa Sink is a luxurious sink that the Action Figure Heroes go to for rest and rejuvenation. April needs work to remove a sticky film from the Attic while Mermista is still hoping to get her hair detangled.

Miss M is lathering up Mermista with some Herbal Essence goodness while Mermista and April are catching up. April looks around the Restroom, "Things have changed so much. I mean look at M, I can't believe how much she has changed! She grew up!"

Mermista nods, "Yeah, she has grown all up." April leans back soaking up all the suds in the Spa Sink. She looks at Mermista with the goop in her hair, "What happened to your hair Mermista?" The PoP toy wistfully looks at April and looks back to the past, "M put me and the gang in a box in the Attic. It got so hot in there, well you know how it was up there April. Anyway time passed and I wanted to brush my hair. What else do you do when you are in a box and everyone is trying to look their best? The problem was that my lucky comb was nowhere near." April rolls her eyes, "How sad. I've never had rooted hair so I can't comprehend. Unless you count my Ravishing variant. I'd like to personally forget."

Mermista ignores the comment and continues her story, "Well either way Barbie was rooming with us, and she was so sweet to let me borrow her brush. Only her brush was huge and caused a mess, my hair was incredibly tangled and never the same. I also think Catra had her hand in the problem too, she is so moody sometimes."

April O'Neil groans, "Oh please, be glad jacked up hair is your only problem. I have been misplaced! I got lost from my original box. I have been living with old baby toys. Fearing my life from hordes of Roaches! And now I'm back. Only to find that my variants have been living the high life. I'm a first edition! And all I've got is this sticky jumpsuit to show for it!" 

Miss M interrupts the women, "Alright, I'm gonna let you two relax a little bit. I will be back." M leaves the room and heads towards the Kitchen. The house is quiet. Her brother is resting in his room. M's parents are nowhere to be found. Our lovely heroine is in the Kitchen looking for her slippers and possibly a bite to eat for lunch. 

"I thought I put them in here..." M tells herself looking around the Kitchen floor. She eventually finds them and slides her right foot into one slipper. Her left foot goes into the other slipper. The slippers are hot pink with a slight heel. They are completely cute and only the best for the supple M. For some reason though the pedicured toes on her left foot feel something inside the slipper. 

"What?" M asks herself, confusion spreading across her mind. What is she feeling? There is a tickle that spreads across her foot and M kicks the slipper off. A Roach staggers out of the slipper, it is Sky-Spy. Miss M lets out a blood curdling scream as she realizes what was touching her toes. Sky-Spy hisses, "You wench, what did you do to Dumpstor?"

"You'll never find him!" M screams and tries to rush off. Sky-Spy spreads his wings and flies towards her. M continues to scream as the Roach zooms near her flawless face. There has never been a moment in her life where this type of Roach breed has tried to kill her. A flying Roach, trying to gouge her eyes out? What is the world coming to?

Miss M runs across the Kitchen grabbing a large butcher knife from a drawer. "Come after me you bastard!" M is swinging the knife in the air at Sky-Spy. The flying Roach is hissing at her trying to dodge the attacks. M screams for help. 

Those screams make it to her brother Markiki. His bedroom door opens and his footsteps race down the hall, "M? M? What is going on?" He rushes into the Kitchen and sees his sister brandishing a knife. "What is going on M?"

"A ROACH!!!! Behind you!!!" M screams. Markiki turns as Sky-Spy flies towards him. Markiki ducks and looks at his sister, "Your on your own, I'm not down with this!" Markiki runs off to his room locking the door behind him.

"Markiki!!! Help me!" M runs down the hall as Sky-Spy throws her against the wall. The flying Roach hisses in her ear, "I'm going to eat your flesh." M screams, "Never!" Her hands slap the Roach away. "Oh God I touched it!" M screams again and races down the hall to her room, trying to get to safety. 

Racing past the Restroom April and Mermista hear the commotion in the hall. April looks out of the Spa Sink, "What do you think is going on out there?" Mermista shrugs, "I'm not sure, but we can't get out of here on our own. Let's just keep relaxing." April nods, "Sounds good. So tell me Mermista, is that Ravishing Reporter version of me still wearing that whorey mini skirt?" Mermista closes her eyes, "Oh yeah, the Turtles love it." April makes a disgusted look, "What a tramp."

Back in the hallway Miss M is thrown to the floor by Sky-Spy. "Oh GOD! Someone help me!!!" M is being dragged across the floor by the Roach spy. The stunning heroine is trying her best to escape, but Sky-Spy is strong. Adrenaline rushes through M though and she kicks Sky-Spy in the face. Rolling up, M reaches for something, anything, to help her survive this horrific ordeal. 

Lucky for M, Markiki still has shoes out in the hallway. M reaches for one and lands a fatal blow across the Roache's face. Sky-Spy hisses and falls to the floor. M screams and raises the shoe one more time, squashing it on Sky-Spy. 

Shaking and having trouble breathing M lifts the shoe up. She screams again as she sees a mangled Sky-Spy on the floor. "Somebody help me! I can't do this!!!" The last thing she wants to do is pick the dead Roach up. She gags and does her best not to throw up. 

An idea crosses her mind. It is pure evil, but after what she has been through she has no other choice. Using the shoe as a broom, Miss M sweeps Sky-Spy under Markiki's bedroom door. Standing up, M has a crooked smile on her face. What has she just done? In no time at all, she can hear her brother scream. At first this is funny, until she hears hissing and the fluttering of wings.

"Markiki?" M calls out. Her brother screams, "M, help me!!" Panic sets in with M and she tries to open her brother's bedroom door. The door is locked. Miss M shakes the door, hearing her brother scream louder. She has no idea what is happening on the other side. However she soon hears the sound of a window breaking. Followed by more screams. And then silence. 

Miss M is screaming and crying trying to open the door, "Markiki!! Markiki!! Say something!" M turns around to see her Action Figure Hero colleague Wolverine racing from her room, "Darlin' let me through, I'll get us in there!"


Wolverine has his claws out and starts picking the lock to the door. "Got it!" Wolverine says and M slams the door open. "Markiki?" M says looking around. Glass and blood is everywhere. Markiki's hand suddenly reaches from under his bed grabbing M's ankle. She screams, and with the help of Wolverine they drag Markiki out from under the bed. He is in shock.

"Oh Markiki, I am so sorry for this! I never meant to hurt you, I never should have brushed Sky-Spy under your door!" Markiki's lips tremble, "I-i-i-i-t-t-t. I-i-i-i-t-t-t. It wasn't. It wasn't. DEAD! It wasn't dead! It bit my toe!"

Wolverine walks by the broken window sniffing the air, "Damn it! Sky-Spy got away. How is the toe?" M looks down at her brother's foot. The pinky toe has been nibbled on, but there is no sign of blood, "Markiki, where did all this blood come from?" M looks around the room.

"It's paint. I'm not bleeding, but the thing bit me!" Markiki shouts. Wolverine goes to get medical help. Miss M continues to apologize, they have no idea what is going to happen. 

Wolverine returns with Storm, Cyclops, and Victor Von Doom. Miss M looks at Victor, "What is he doing here? We need medical help!"

Victor looks at M, "I'm a Doctor. Let me look at his foot." M steps back. After some careful observations Dr. Doom concludes, "I'm sorry, but your brother will be undead soon. A bite from a Roach almost always turns the living into the walking dead."

Markiki groans and starts to cry, "I can't die! I wanna be in the sequel!" Miss M shakes her head, "Wait a minute. Dr. Doom are you sure? How can a Roach bite turn a human into a zombie? That makes no sense."

Dr. Doom shrugs, "I don't know. I could be wrong actually. Just sleep on it. If you aren't craving brains in the morning you'll be fine." Dr. Doom walks off leaving everyone speechless. M looks at her brother, "I'm so sorry Markiki. Please don't hate me." 

Markiki hugs his sister, "I'm not gonna hate you sis. But seriously, don't get me involved in your dramas anymore! Now take your toys and get out! I've had enough of this!" Markiki ushers everyone out. 

Miss M thanks Wolverine and checks on Mermista and April in the Spa Sink. There isn't much more that M can take. Until Rogue and Magneto show up.

"Sugah, we need to talk." Rogue says with a file in her hands. M looks at the two, "Where have you both been? Do you know that Gambit has been worried sick? He thinks ya'll have been bumping uglies!"

Rogue and Magneto look at each other and then quickly look away, "Sugah, that Cajun is not on my mind right now. We have been on an important mission. Look at these pictures." Miss M looks at the file and cringes as photos of Roaches stare at her, "Why are ya'll showing this to me?" 

Magneto calmy addresses the situation, "There are Roaches after you M. Your parents killed the King and Queen Cock Roach, their children now want your blood. That first picture is of Rita the Roach. She is in charge of the Roaches. The next photo is of her older brother Roach Clip. He was destined to be the ruler after their parents died, but he has unusual cravings. Rita is in charge and they are building an army as we speak. They are all chanting about wanting to destroy the House of M."

Miss M feels defeated, "I can't believe this. How are we going to stop them?" Magneto shakes his head, "There is no stopping them. We should have destroyed them when we had the chance all those years ago. There is nothing we can do. I for one will not try to peacefully coexist with them."

Rogues shakes her head, "Why am I not surprised Magneto? Just don't let Charles hear you say that, ok sugah? There is plenty we can do though." Rogue produces one more final picture, "This is Splashor. He is the Master of the Waterways. He is the only one connecting Rita's mission with the masses. If you can stop him, Rita won't be able to spread the word on the war."

"How do I kill Splashor? I've never even seen him!" M says. Rogue lowers her head, "Sugah, if any legends hold true, he'll be coming for you. And pray you can kill him first."

Miss M closes her eyes. It has only just begun...  

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Toy Chest Tuesday! McDonald's Turbo Cone!!!!!

Alright dear readers I have a confession to make. I love McDonald's. I love the food. I even love the Happy Meal toys. I realize my pilates workouts hate me for it, but I don't care. I am not one of those crazy fools that is terrified of food. I love food. I'm half Italian for crying out loud! I have curves. And a fatal addiction to those yummy fries.

So look what I am serving up for today's Toy Chest! The McDonald's New Food Changeables Turbo Cone!! This toy came from a series of Happy Meal toys that involved the famous foods from McDonald's menu that transformed into robots or dinosaurs. They were quite popular and are probably the impetus for Happy Meal toys eventually being banned from certain cities.

The Turbo Cone was one of the robot Changeables. The coolest thing about these toys was the total ripoff of Transformers. A robot disguised as food is still a robot in disguise and therefore a Transformers ripoff. No matter how tasty the food looks.

As you can see, this is the paper that came with the toy. The Turbo Cone was a nice soft serve cone that turned into a female robot! That's right, a female robot! I loved this toy because from what I remember the New Food Changeables were always guy robots or dinosaurs. And for those in the know, I love when girl characters get some representation too!

Here is a picture of the Turbo Cone in disguise! I'm so craving some soft serve right now!

With a quick change and all the cool sound effects of a Michael Bay movie, Turbo Cone shows her true colors! Those colors being green and pink. Works for me!

Here is a larger picture of Turbo Cone. Her cheeks look like little discs of candy. I don't really know her story, but I'm thinking she works with the other New Food Changeables to fight against the evil villain known as Nutrition!! 
Finally here is a picture of the instructions for transforming Turbo Cone from a tasty treat to a robotic threat!

I love this toy. It was at a time in the history of the world where eating at McDonald's was ok. You could get a Happy Meal and no one made you feel guilty that you were killing your heart or claim that you were trying to eat your feelings. No one even knew what a trans fatty acid was! (I think) Ronald McDonald even had a group of friends, now it just seems like he has a ton of enemies. Look, we all deserve a break today! So go support your local McDonald's! After that first fry, you'll thank me! 

So that's it for Toy Chest Tuesday! Be sure to check back, because Night of the Living Roach 3: A New Breed will be crawling its way across a screen near you soon!!!  


Monday, August 22, 2011

Pico Purse, the latest trend!

I know it seems like I am nothing but a dorky chick and that concept more than likely has its fair share of stereotypes. I'm sure people believe that all I think about is She-Ra and comics. (Ok that might be partially true, but still!) Or that I have no life because I talk to my action figures. (Only when I'm stressed) Well the truth is this, dorky people aren't losers. We have friends. We have other interests besides stalking toy stores.

For instance I love fashion. I can spend as much time combing shoe racks or clothing racks as I can walking through Toysrus searching for the latest Lego Minifigure. I like to call it finding a balance. And let's be real, as human beings, we need shoes. I for one wouldn't dare walk barefoot everywhere. My goodness I'm not a cavewoman.

So it seems I am doubly cursed. I love to collect figures, dolls, and all kinds of dorky stuff as well as amazing shoes, bags, and anything that can make me look better. Some people would call me vain, I however call it preservation. I am cautiously approaching 30 and I want to keep looking fabulous well into my nineties. Seriously. When I am 94 I am going to look amazing. At least that is the plan.

Alright there you have it, not uncommon at all to find me carrying my Uncanny X-Men in one arm and my issue of Vogue in the other. That is kinda me in a Cliffs Notes version. On a side note, the September issue of Vogue is out, and it is their biggest one yet! It is like a phone book! I love it!

Ok so by now you might all be wondering, where is this post going? I love fashion, but my tastes in fashion are for the expensive things. I want to dine on Chanel when in reality I only have a budget for the combo meal at Marshalls (i.e. the clearance rack.) However every now and then I will treat myself to something nice.

For example a few months ago my husband and I traveled to a nice outlet mall that I had been dreaming of going to. When we got there, I literally thought I had died and gone to the Crystal Castle. The place was out of control. I didn't know where to start. It was like going to a library and being overwhelemd by all the books to look through. The outlet mall was a library, of discounts! I got lost in that mall for hours. I completely lost track of time.

Somehow I finally ended up leaving, and on my arm was a shopping bag containing a very nice designer bag. I mean the deal I got on this bag was a steal. Just a total steal. And can I tell you how gorgeous the bag was? It had this sparkly gold leather that just shined so brightly in the sun! It was like I bought my own mini sun to carry on my arm! Just stunning! My husband even got a nice wallet as well (though he would end up losing it a week later, an omen of things to come.) Either way we were just amazed by all the deals we got at this outlet mall!

Eventually we had to go back to our normal lives away from the designer stores with their lovingly low prices. Sadly I had a great deal of trepidation with wearing my new bag out to places. I wanted nothing more than to keep it in the shopping bag, taking it out to admire it every now and then.

Well my girlfriends started to think I was lying about this bag, they all wanted to see it and I wouldn't leave the house with it. So after some back and forth with my conscience, I took the bag outside. For just a few trips out. We went out to the grocery store and to dinner. I wanted the bag to see the outside world and really explore all that life had to offer. I didn't want to be completely overprotective!

Of course the unthinkable ended up happening. I met my best friend for dinner last week. We decided to go to this yummy Mexican restaurant, where the food is a treat. I wanted to come prepared. I felt brave and confident waltzing in the restaurant wearing something amazing and carrying my new bag on my arm! I felt so chic!

Hell, I even saw someone I went to school with that hated me and all I could think was, "Eat your heart out! I look fabulous with my new bag and well coordinated outfit!" For once my hair was looking nice. I had red lipstick on, and it wasn't on my teeth! I was feeling so great!

After we were seated I placed my bag on one of the empty chairs, because any sane person already knows that you never place your bag on the floor (it is dirty) and hanging your bag on your chair will mean that somone will walk by and bump into it. I thought my bag would be safe on a nice empty chair.

Until the kind waiter walked by to deliver some chips, salsa, and green sauce to our table. This is when time suddenly went into slow motion. I watched in horror as the waiter lost his grip on the tray and before the last bowl of green sauce could be safely placed on the table, it slipped and fell. All over my new bag.

My mouth fell open and I looked like one of those whale sharks that floats through the water with an open mouth collecting plankton or whatever the hell those things eat. It was an awful moment. Just awful. My best friend went into quick action and started wiping the bag as best she could. I was still in shock. The waiter was freaking out, I guess he was expecting me to yell at him.

I may be a lot of things, but I am not the kind of person that is going to yell at someone for an accident. I mean I was worried about the fate of my bag, but I wasn't going to morph into Mega Bitch and chew the guy out. That wouldn't be right.

Anyways after I got out of my shock, we tried to clean the bag to the best of our ability. The manager of the restaurant was very kind, he saw everything that happened and offered to pay for any cleaning that the bag would need. I thought that was incredibly nice.

However I do not trust any dry cleaning place to help my bag, and boy does the bag need help. I am pretty sure I got the green sauce off. The only problem is that the bag now smells like some green pico sauce. Really? Seriously? I buy this nice new bag that I am nervous to take out of the house, and the cosmos do this to me? My bag smells like a tasty dip. I am hoping that the September issue of Vogue will share that one of the biggest fall trends is to own a bag that smells like green pico sauce. Cross your fingers!

So now I have all these sweet smelling dryer sheets in the bag, trying to air the smell out. I just can't believe it. I think this is life's way of saying, "Girl, stop trying to feed those expensive fashion tastes and just stick to the Marshalls clearance rack." I'll always have Vogue to thumb through and dream about, and I think that is enough. Because let me tell you, it is a terrible feeling when you buy something nice and something bad happens to it, especially when you have barely worn the darn thing!  

Friday, August 19, 2011

Night of the Living Roach 2: The Return

To catch up, check out the previous installment Night of the Living Roach

And now, for those who have been waiting...

Night of the Living Roach 2: The Return

Miss M can hear birds chirping outside her bedroom window. She slowly opens her stunning blue eyes to see the light of the morning shining through her plantation shutters. Her room is awash in light. The action figure heroes are slowly waking up as well.

The house is quiet. Miss M slowly steps out of bed, briefly recalling the events that occured the night before. Shaking the horror off, Miss M walks out into the hallway. No one has woken up yet. Walking down the hall Miss M is brought back to the events with the Roach. She sidesteps her brother's shoes and heads to the restroom. Did the events from last night actually happen?

"Impossible. It had to have been a dream." Miss M tells herself. She stares at herself in the mirror over the sink. "These dark circles under my eyes have got to go. My goodness I look like death." Suddenly Miss M hears a strange noise. The noise continues, faintly. Miss M turns around to locate the sound. Various thoughts are running through her mind.

"Glimmer? Is this one of your distress calls?" The lovely heroine speaks out loud. There is no answer. Miss M is close to giving up when she finally pinpoints the noise. "It can't be. It can't be." Miss M says to herself. The air becomes still, her blue eyes zero in on the closed toilet lid. The noise is definitely coming from the toilet. Finally the only sound she can hear is the pounding in her heart.

Her well manicured hands shake as she reaches to lift the toilet lid. To her utter horror Miss M is staring at Dumpstor, swimming around in the toilet trying to escape. Screams pierce the stratosphere as Miss M takes a step back. Dumpstor is doing his best to escape and he shouts, "You bitch! I'm going to get you for this!!!"

Miss M shakes her head, "I killed you! How are you even alive right now?!" Dumpstor lets out a laugh, "You can't kill us. We will always find a way to return." Time becomes important and Miss M acts as fast as she can. She lunges towards the toilet handle. Dumpstor can see what she is doing and howls as the toilet is flushed again.

"Don't ever come back!" Miss M screams shaking violently. What is happening? Footsteps come storming down the hall as Mama P rushes into the bathroom and stares at her daughter with eyes half open, "M? What is going on? I feel like you have been screaming all night."

"It's nothing mom. I've just had a rough night. I'm ok." Miss M rushes past her mom and heads to her room. Alone with her action figure heroes Miss M plops down as Cyclops, leader of the X-Men, approaches her. "Good morning M. Everyone is worried about you, there was a lot of commotion last night. I tried to talk with Gambit and Wolverine, but they didn't know what was going on."

With a smile that is hiding unspeakable horrors our heroine describes the recent events that have happened to her. Cyclops is concerned, "Do you think this Roach will be back?" Miss M isn't sure. She has an idea though about her next course of action. She looks at Cyclops, "I'm not sure if the monster will be back or not, but I am going to find out some answers!"

The day ticks away. Miss M does a little shopping with Mama P. A day of shopping leads to phone calls to friends about what had been bought on sale earlier in the day. Miss M feels like the day has been productive. It is only going to get better when she enlists the help of a family member.

Her brother Markiki is in his room going over some homework. Miss M plops herself on a chair and stares at her baby brother, though he is in his teens. No longer a baby by any means. "Markiki, are you up for an adventure tonight?" Markiki looks up from his work. Slight dread builds, "What kind of adventure?"

Miss M tries to break the idea to him easily, "I am thinking about going back into the Attic." Markiki drops what he is doing and stares at his older sister, "Are you serious? M! That is the dumbest idea! Why do you want to go in the Attic again?"

This was a tricky answer, "Markiki, something is going on. First of all I really want to find Glimmer. Secondly something awful went down last night. And I have a feeling that it is just going to get worse." 

"What are you talking about M? You sound so cryptic right now. What happened to you?" Miss M holds her breath and tells her brother everything. Starting from trying to kill Dumpstor with the shoe to flushing the monster down the toilet twice, Miss M leaves nothing out.

Markiki's eyes are wide open and M feels that her brother will think she is crazy. After a moment of silence Markiki gets up and sits next to his sister on the small chair, "You killed a roach with my shoe last night?! What is the matter with you? I don't want roach guts on my shoe!"

Miss M is completely shocked, "With everything I just told you, the only thing you have to say is about your shoe?! I nearly died last night!" Markiki rolls his eyes, "Such a drama queen, you did not nearly die last night." The two siblings begin to laugh as they realize how much of a mess M really is, and about the quirky adventure that is about to ensue.

Elsewhere, the temperatures rise in the imposing Attic. Sky-Spy is pacing back and forth on top of a box. He is awaiting a higher-up. With Dumpstor still missing, the Roaches are suspecting something most foul. The sounds of roach footsteps grow louder as Sky-Spy finds himself face to face with Splashor, a hulking Roach that is master of the waterways. Sky-Spy's wings flutter, "Splashor, what should we do? Dumpstor never returned. His mission was to retrieve food from the Kitchen. I fear something terrible has happened."

Splashor growls, "Do you think a human is responsible?" Sky-Spy sneers, "Most likely. It was the humans who killed our King and Queen. If they did something to Dumpstor, than we will avenge them all." Sky-Spy prepares to leave and see what information he can find about any human activity. Splashor scuttles off to see if there is anything known about Dumpstor's whereabouts. Maybe someone witnessed something.

Outside of the Attic, Miss M and Markiki are making there ascent towards the Attic gate, which looks like a hidden door on the wall. The day has become night, but the Attic will still be hot. Markiki pauses and looks at his sister's clothing choices for braving the Attic, "Are you really going to wear a tube top, boom-boom shorts, and heeled flip flops in the Attic? You are going to get hurt." True our lovely heroine may have looked slightly tacky in her get-up, but she had her reasons, "Markiki I am dressed perfectly for the Attic. I am wearing as little as possible because it is hot. And these are not flip flops. They are sandals with a heel. I am more clumsy in something flat!"

What she says makes sense on some level, though Markiki is not really buying it, "I think you are making a mistake." The two siblings open the door into the Attic, though they notice it was already slightly open. Miss M finds that interesting, the last time she had left the Attic the door had been firmly shut...

The heat inside the Attic is always a shock, breathing becomes a little more different. Miss M motions for Markiki to stay behind and shine a light for her. The goal is to find Glimmer and maybe some answers about her attack last night. For some reason Miss M feels like the evil she flushed away came from the Attic.

Darkness looms all around her, the only thing helping her is the light from her brother. She can make out the shapes of various boxes that have been homes to all kinds of items. Miss M starts to whisper Glimmer's name. Unknown to Miss M there are eyes looking at her in the darkness. She is being watched. Sky-Spy is taking notes, glad he hadn't left the Attic yet.

The heat is slowly getting to M. She feels like her movements are getting slower. The Attic is just too hot. There are no signs of Glimmer or anything else for that matter. Markiki calls out to her, "M! Find anything yet? Hurry, the heat is escaping into the house!" Miss M motions for him to be quiet, she suddenly hears something.

The noise is coming from a box, "Psst. Psst. Miss M, is that you?" Miss M looks at the box and squints her eyes, "April? April O'Neil from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Oh my goodness! Yes it is me. What are you doing in here, it has been ages!" Miss M has not seen First Edition April O'Neil since the Great Spring Clean Sweep of '93.

April looks at M, "Wow, you have grown up! It has been a long time. Well listen, after you got older and dumped your friends in the Attic, I got separated from the Turtles and all my variants. I've been living in this box with old baby toys. You gotta get me outta here, they whine so much!" Miss M motions for April to get out of the box. Miss M goes to put April in her pocket, but her boom-boom shorts have none. April ends up in M's tube top, nestled between the "girls."

"I'm sorry April, it's the only place I can put you." Miss M looks apologetically. April shrugs, "After what I have seen, this is nothing. Let's hurry and escape though, before we pass out. Or worse."

"Before we do anything, I need to find Glimmer." Miss M says searching through some other boxes and finding nothing. April shakes her head, "Listen doll, you may have gotten prettier with age, but I pray that hasn't made you dumber. We need to get out of here, you don't understand. They will be coming out soon."

Miss M is confused, "Who?" April gives M the scoop on the Roaches, "The Roaches run this place. They come out in droves, looting from the boxes. Feeding on anything that looks edible. They live it up in here. I have seen things that are terrible. M, they deficate on anything and everything!"

Markiki calls out to his sister, "M? Who are you talking to? Come on, you need to get out of there!" Miss M shouts, "I'm talking to myself! I'm heading out now!" She turns to leave, but feels dizzy as she looks at her long journey to the exit. "Oh goodness, I don't think I can make it." Miss M gasps out. April looks up at the heroine, "Listen doll, you are gonna get it together and get us out. I'm not ending my life like this." April says motioning at her current position.

Sky-Spy decides to make himself known, along with some friends. Miss M and April both hear the sounds of fluttering wings and an onslaught of footsteps behind them. April taps on Miss M, "Doll, we need to hurry." Miss M looks back and wants to faint. A wave of Roaches are running towards her. She also spots a flying Roach aiming for her head, April screams, "M! Don't let Sky-Spy near you! Faster doll, I'm slipping between the girls!!"

Our heroine realizes she may have made a mistake wearing heeled sandals in the Attic. While making her way over some boxes, Miss M's heel gets caught on an old Fischer Price doll house. The lovely beauty almost falls to the Attic floor cursing out loud. The Roaches are fastly approaching. Markiki is trying to understand what is going on, "Are you ok M?" Her brother shines the light and spots the wave of Roaches scurrying towards his big sis, "Oh my God! M! Hurry they are after you!"

Miss M makes it to the door way and is gasping for air, "Markiki, help me out, I can't feel my legs!" The Roaches are inches away. Miss M reaches into her tube top and grabs April. Throwing the toy to the blue shag carpet, Miss M struggles to get out. Markiki grabs her arms and drags his sister out of the doorway. Sky-Spy screams as the door is shut on the Attic.

Trying to catch her breath M looks at her brother. He shakes his head, "What just happened? You could've been killed!" Miss M shakes her nerves off, "I'm good. Nothing bad happened, and on a positive note, I found my original April O'Neil!" Markiki looks at April in her yellow jumpsuit, "No Glimmer though huh?" Miss M shakes her head, "No. I'm not giving up though!" The two siblings get up. April looks around the big room, it is nice to be out of the Attic. The three head out of the loft and back to the first floor. With the Attic door firmly shut, M breathes a sigh of relief. The Roaches have been halted from further activity. For now.

Back inside the Attic Sky-Spy flutters about yelling, "That wench! She shut the door! It makes no difference. There are other ways to get the information I need." Sky-Spy laughs as he spies a slight opening to the Outside World from the ceiling. He flies off, formulating a brand new plan...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Toy Chest Tuesday! Filmation's Ghostbusters- Mysteria

Hello fellow toy lovers! It is time for another fun edition of Toy Chest Tuesday! Today we will be looking at Mysteria from Filmation's Ghostbusters! Now there is some history with this Schaper toy. For those not in the know, Filmation was a studio that made some amazing cartoons in the 60's, 70's, and 80's. Does He-Man or She-Ra mean anything to you? (It should.)

Anyways pay attention because what I am about to tell you is going to be more convoluted than a soap opera. Back in the 70's Filmation had a live action kids show called The Ghost Busters. It didn't last very long on air. Well fast forward to the early 80's, Columbia Pictures released the awesome film Ghostbusters and consequently wanted to make an animated series based off the film. Now Columbia completely forgot that Filmation had the rights to the Ghostbusters name from their old 70's show.

Filmation sued Columbia and there was this settlement stuff that went on outside of court. So Columbia had to basically rename their Ghostbusters cartoon, and thus The Real Ghostbusters was born. To compete, Filmation quickly made their own updated Ghostbusters cartoon (based from their original 70's live action show), called Filmation's Ghostbusters, also referred to as The Original Ghostbusters. So once upon a time in 1986 there were two Ghostbusters cartoons on tv!

For anyone with a degree in 80's history, there is no surprise which Ghostbusters cartoon became the most popular. The Real Ghostbusters completely proton zapped Filmation's Ghostbusters into a containment unit. However for a dorkette like me, I liked both. I thought they were a lot of fun. And, the biggest thing I liked the most out of Filmation's Ghostbusters was that the show had a larger female cast. Even though it was like 3 females. Whatever, it still beats lonely Janine stuck in a sausage fest. (Still love ya though Janine!)

I remember this whole Ghostbusters drama being a big deal when I was little though. There was serious talk in the neighborhood about which Ghostbusters show was better. There were constant debates about the coolness of the toys for each cartoon as well. I tried to be the voice of reason and play up the strengths of both, and as a result started most of the debates in the first place. My goodness though, what a treat to have two different Ghostbuster cartoons on tv at the same time! Some of those bratty neighborhood kids needed to simply count their blessings, because now there are zero Ghostbuster cartoons on tv.

In terms of the toys, my preference tended to lean towards Filmation's Ghostbusters, because the girl characters had rooted hair. I loved rooted hair. I also loved the evil Mysteria! I never had the chance to own her when I was little, because this toyline was truly a blink-and-you'll-miss-it series.

However thanks to the joys of Ebay, I snagged one! And isn't she just fun?!

Her name was Mysteria, and as indicated on her card "Mysteria is a wicked spirit who is extremely vain. She trips up the Ghostbusters with her mystical powers." I love that she is vain. I mean if I'm going to hang out with a spirit, it had better be a vain one. Right? I also love that she looks like Morticia Addams cracked out sister.

I mean look at that face! She is totally related to Morticia Addams. Or Joan Collins.

The back of the packaging had a whole list of the characters for purchase. Missing from the cardback were the really cool playsets available. 80's toys always had the coolest playsets.  

The Ghostbusters and Allies consisted of Tracy, Futura, Jake, Jessica, Belfry, and Eddie. I always had a crush on Jake. I just thought he was dreamy. Belfry also reminded me of a cross between Piglet and Hordak's Imp, before becoming evil of course.

The Ghosts and Villains were Fangster, Brat-a-Rat, Haunter, Prime Evil, Mysteria, Scared Stiff, and Fib Face. I never had the villains. In all reality I only really wanted Mysteria. Wouldn't you? She is awesome! So until then dear readers take care! And get ready for Night of the Living Roach part 2: The Return!!! What will happen to the lovely Miss M this time?

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Night of the Living Roach

The story you are about to read is based upon true events that occured many years ago. Be warned that these events could happen to anyone. No one is truly safe from the...

Night of the Living Roach

Somewhere in the lone star state, resides a peaceful 'burb. The houses all have manicured lawns. Store fronts are warm and inviting. People get along with one another and share glasses of lemonade on hot sunny days.

In this town there is also a lovely heroine who goes by the name Miss M. Single and finishing up college, Miss M lives with Mama P, Big Daddy, and her younger brother Markiki. The ravishing Miss M also works with a consortium of action figure heroes that make sure the streets are safe for everyone. Miss M is also on the hunt for a dear old friend, that is believed to be lost in the menacing Attic (a place hotter than hell.)

However unkown to Miss M, something dangerous and evil is brewing. This evil will shake her to the very core, and not in the same way that her pilates do. No, this evil will threaten everything she loves and holds dear.

This particular night finds Miss M in her room catching up with Gambit, one of the many action figure heroes that have befriended Miss M throughout the years. Gambit is trying to work through a personal problem that involves his lady love.

Miss M is doing her best to help him, "Gambit, I am not sure what you are going to do about Rogue. She is either going to be with you, or she'll pick Magneto. Either way you just need to give her some space."

Gambit chuckles and hangs his head, "Petit, Rogue and I live on the same shelf. There won't be much space to give. Gambit in trouble." The thief may have once been content stealing from others, but this time it seems someone has stolen from him. His heart. He cares for Rogue and Miss M is touched by that.

"Oh Gambit, you are such a good guy. Rogue will see that. I just know it! I have to go though, I have to meet up with the girls! Have a good night!" Gambit waves a good bye as Miss M walks to another part of her room to catch up with She-Ra and the gang, including the moody Catra.

Miss M waves, She-Ra and the cast of Princess of Power are sitting around. She-Ra smiles, "Miss M! What a nice surprise! I hope you have news for us?" She-Ra is hopeful that Miss M has found Glimmer. Many moons ago Miss M embarked on a dangerous journey to the heart of the Attic to retrieve She-Ra and her friends. It was dangerous, Miss M almost fell through the flooring breaking her legs. Luckily she was able to rescue her old dear friends. Except for one. Glimmer, the guide who lights the way, was missing from the rest of the group. Doing her best to hold on to hope, Miss M searched everywhere. Sadly she never found Glimmer. The Attic had her for keeps. After some time everyone gave up and mourned the loss of a bright talented lass.

However recently She-Ra has received distress calls that appear to be coming from Glimmer. No one knows exactly where the calls are located or what they even mean. They sound like Glimmer faintly calling for help. Miss M and her brother Markiki decided to investigate and traveled to the Attic once again and came back with nothing.

"I'm so sorry She-Ra, but this most recent trip was uneventful. We could not find Glimmer at all. I'm so sorry." Miss M had really hoped she would find Glimmer. She-Ra looks at the rest of the group, everyone looks sad and lost. She-Ra nods to herself, "Thank you M. You have gone above and beyond what should be done. I think we just have to realize that Glimmer is gone and won't be coming back."

Castaspella, another friend of She-Ra steps forward, "If Glimmer is not coming back, than what of the distress calls?" Sweet Bee and Perfuma pipe up in agreement. Off to the side Catra purrs lightly, "Oh you fools. Haven't you realized this could all be a hoax? Besides, if Glimmer is alive or not, her being in the Attic for this long will probably have left her disfigured beyond belief. Just look at Mermista. Her hair has never been the same. Face it, Glimmer is a goner."

Everyone looks at Mermista's blue twisted and tattered hair. Mermista blushes, "I've got one more appointment to try and get my hair fixed! Leave me alone!" Mermista shouts sobbing to herself as she runs off. She-Ra shakes her head and mutters to Catra, "Must you always be so rude?" Catra shrugs.

Another of She-Ra's friends, Frosta, speaks up, "I don't mean to rush this conversation along girls, but I do have a date with He-Man that I would like to make on time tonight. So are we done? I don't want to keep him waiting..." Frosta crosses her arms and looks smugly at Sweet Bee.

She-Ra motions for everyone to go. Miss M and She-Ra are the only two left. Miss M feels bad for coming back empty handed, "I'm so sorry She-Ra. Markiki and I could always go back, if you thought it was needed?" It would be a dangerous mission, but it would be worth it to find Glimmer.

"No, M. Don't worry about it. I don't know why I thought Glimmer would be back, I need to realize she is gone. Although it just doesn't make sense. Who would be sending out these distress calls?" They both are at a loss. She-Ra eventually walks off to figure out a few things and to see her special friend Bow. Miss M heads to her bed to prepare for a nice trip into dream land...

Elsewhere in M's home, two creatures are talking by the entrance into the Attic. These vile creatures are members of the Roaches. Their sole purpose is to multiply and terrify the masses. And eat. Anything. In. Sight.

One Roach is getting ready to leave the entrance of the Attic and asks his colleague, "What happens when I am on the first floor Sky-Spy?"

Sky-Spy's wings quickly flutter about, he snarls, "You head to the kitchen Dumpstor. Do your best to go undetected. Once there seek out the trash compactor. Find whatever resources you can and bring them back, do you understand?"

Dumpstor nods, "Yes Sky-Spy, I do." Dumpstor quickly scurries off heading down the winding stairs towards his mission...

Meanwhile the beautiful Miss M is waking from a peaceful slumber. Annoyed to be away from dreams of visiting Pine Valley and dining with Ryan Lavery, Miss M heads towards the kitchen for a glass of water. She notices two of her action figure friends still up. Wolverine and Gambit seem to be playing a game of cards.

She laughs at the two, "Shouldn't you guys be sleeping?" Wolverine puffs on a plastic cigar and looks at her, "Darlin, I'm not restin until I beat the Cajun."

Gambit throws down his hand, winning the current game, "Mon ami, you gonna have to do better than that." Miss M walks off laughing to herself. She also notices that Rogue and Magneto are not on the shelf. Where could they be?

Out of her room, Miss M heads down a long dark hall towards the kitchen. She doesn't understand why her parents insist on living in such darkness. Pain shoots up her foot and leg as she bumps into a pile of shoes on the ground by her brother's room. Muffling a scream of pain, Miss M rubs her toe and whispers to herself, "That darn Markiki! I better have my polish intact!"

Suddenly there is a slight noise in the hall. Miss M turns to see if someone is with her. There is no one there, though Miss M is highly aware that she is not alone. With a loud beating heart, Miss M raises her hand to a nearby light switch.

Warm light fills the dark hall. "That's funny, I can't see anything, but where is that noise coming from?" Off to the side Dumpstor stares on at the very tall Miss M. It would seem that Dumpstor got lost on his way to the kitchen. He mumbles to himself, "Alright broad, turn the light off so I can be on my way." Dumpstor would rather finish this unseen, however if it comes down to it, he will cut her.

Something within Miss M is telling her to leave the light on. Her bare feet walk softly across the wooden floor, getting closer to the kitchen. All of a sudden Miss M hears what can only be described as a battle cry and jumps as a Roach comes after her.

"Oh no! No!" Miss M says to herself dodging a swift attack by Dumpstor. Crashing to the floor, Miss M gasps in pain. Dumpstor races back towards her, "You just couldn't turn the lights off could you? I'm going to enjoy this!"

Dumpstor jumps in the air lunging towards Miss M. Thinking fast, the agile heroine rolls away from an attack. Searching for a weapon, Miss M reaches for one of Markiki's shoes on the ground. "Thank you dear brother, you just saved my life!"

With a fair fight in store, Miss M swiftly takes aim at Dumpstor. The shoe misses and slams against the wooden floor rather loudly. "Shit!" Miss M shouts, the last thing she wants to do is wake everyone else in the house. Dumpstor looks at Miss M, "You won't catch me broad!"

"We'll see about that!" Miss M shouts and chases after Dumpstor. The lightening fast Roach runs up the hall wall and flips off in the air hitting M in the leg. She screams in utter disgust and slams the shoe against the wall. The noise is so loud that from another room Mama P screams, "What the hell is going on out there! People are trying to sleep!"

Dumpstor runs faster towards the kitchen, looking back to laugh at the silly human girl. She now has to deal with the wrath of someone else. Thinking he is close to his goal, Dumpstor feels a large shadow surround him. Before he can truly grasp what is happening, Miss M firmly slams a shoe on top of him. Miss M shouts, "Take that you disgusting Roach!"

Acting fast, Miss M races to the restroom for some toilet paper to pick up the remains of Dumpstor. He will soon be in a watery grave, flushed away from attacking anyone else again. Shaking and disgusted, Miss M makes her way back to the shoe and Dumpstor. This is the part that grosses Miss M the most, disposing of the body.

Lifting the shoe, Miss M prepares to pick up Dumpstor. Suddenly Dumpstor jumps in the air landing on the silky skin of Miss M's arm. She screams and Dumpstor laughs, "I will eat your brains!!!!"

Shaking her head in horror Miss M screams, "No! Never!" The wadded up toilet paper quickly wraps around Dumpstor. Miss M races to the restroom fighting against time. Both human and Roach scream the whole way. Dumpstor does his best to free himself from the constraints of the toilet paper, but it is no use. He is thrown into the toilet. Surrounded by water, Dumpstor does his best to swim to the surface.

He looks up at Miss M and curses, "You bee-with-an-itch! I'll get you..." Before he can finish his sentence a loud noise erupts and a whirlpool quickly forms around him. A strange suction from below captures him and drags him into darkness.

Miss M can't stop shaking and screaming. She hates roaches. Hearing footsteps behind her, she turns to see Wolverine and Gambit. She is glad to see them and not Mamma P. That would have been worse.

Wolverine sniffs the air, "Darlin, where is he at? Let me at him!" Snikt! Wolverine pops his claws out ready to fight.

"It's ok Wolverine, I am fine. I was just attacked by a roach, that's all. But he is dead, I killed him." Miss M says and walks over towards the two action hero figures. "I just want to get back to bed, this has been a strange night."

Gambit looks at her, "You wanna talk about it petit?" Miss M shakes her head, "No, maybe tomorrow. I have been through too much tonight. Besides, I gotta get back to dream land. I got a hot date in Pine Valley!" Miss M jumps into her bed as Wolverine and Gambit look at each other and shrug, going back to their game of cards.

Deep in the heart of the Attic, Sky-Spy paces back and forth, his wings fluttering every now and then. "Where is Dumpstor?! He was supposed to have been back by now... If something has happened to him, those that are responsible will pay..."

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Coming soon to a diary near you...

Prepare yourselves dear readers for a story so scary and dorky it could only be told here. Night of the Living Roach will be making its debut soon. Inspired by true events and sprinkled with nods to just about everything, Night of the Living Roach will take you to a world where savage beasts roam freely targeting a lovely heroine. Will they get her? Can she fight back? Keep your eyes here and be ready for, Night of the Living Roach!!! Killing them has never been easy.

Coming soon...

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Toy Chest Tuesday! C.U.T.I.E.

Hello everyone! It is that time of the week! Toy Chest Tuesday! Now what have I got for you all today? Well this totally cool relic is from 1986. Before we talk C.U.T.I.E. let's talk about another Mattel line of little pvc figures. This line, mostly for boys, was called M.U.S.C.L.E. It stood for "Millions of Unusual Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere." This toyline was basically a huge slew of pvc muscle men and other various types of creatures. They were originally bubble gum pink but were eventually released in an array of bright colors.

There was a huge demand for them and they were very popular. These guys also had a short lived cartoon. All of my boy cousins had them, and the concept was kinda cool, however I was never that interested. (Even though they were pink!)

Always on the pulse and ready for consumption, Mattel gave girls everywhere the answer to M.U.S.C.L.E. Enter the world of C.U.T.I.E. It stood for "Coolest Ultra Tiny Individuals on Earth." And they were completely the coolest things ever! Made out of pvc and full of bright colors, each C.U.T.I.E. character represented a girl doing something that everyday girls dream of doing. 

Here is a picture of the front of one of the box sets:
There were individual sets and box sets. A box set included 10 figures.

 Here is a picture of the back of the box, it contained a picture detailing all of the included characters and their names. There was also a description of what a C.U.T.I.E. was and a mail offer for a free poster of the whole C.U.T.I.E. gang. (Of course you needed to purchase some C.U.T.I.E. products.)

Each set had a specific theme. This was the "Lovey Doveys" theme. It was essentially a set of dolls that represented the various things that girls loved and wanted to do, like dancing, getting married, singing, having babies, or making friends. Ya know, all the important things little girls dream about doing until we get older and realize that life is a complicated damn mess.

Here is a close up of two of the C.U.T.I.E. girls. One is holding a baby and is bright yellow. The other is a singer and she is bright orange.

I don't know what the purple one below is doing. She has her arms crossed over her chest and her leg is lifted in the air. Maybe she is happy to be a C.U.T.I.E?

On the back of the box, there was a paragraph that described exactly what the point was for wanting to own a C.U.T.I.E. Click on the picture to read more. It is actually really fun. Life truly never was the same after owning a C.U.T.I.E. doll, at least for me. I loved taking my C.U.T.I.E. dolls with me everywhere when I was younger. I'd sneak one into my pocket and take her with me to all kinds of places, like the grocery store or out to dinner. My mom and dad were never too keen on me leaving the house with my toys, but with my C.U.T.I.E. in tow, they never knew! We'd go on all these adventures and it was so fun to have a toy with me. Until I lost her. Of course the other girls got sent to the attic and kinda became sticky and melty from the heat. So much for their dreams. Turns out C.U.T.I.E. aren't so cute anymore. Thank goodness for Ebay though and the chances to buy these awesome sets all over again! The dreams of dozens of pvc dolls can still come true!
Other types of sets were the Rockity Rollers, Tiny Trendies, Lovey Doveys, Bitsy Babies, and Gym Dollies (as shown above)

 The picture below is from the back of the box that details the names of the Lovey Doveys set. We have:
1. Tutu Much
2. Singa Longa
3. Leah Tard
4. Cherry Blossom
5. Rita Reada
6. Mrs. Sippie
7. Momma Mia
8. Mary Mee
9. Holly Woodstar
10. Terri Cloth
These C.U.T.I.E. names are hilarious. I can't get over how goofy they were!

C.U.T.I.E. were great, plain and simple. I think very highly of them and my heart skipped a few beats once I saw them on Ebay recently, and so cheap too! I was thinking they would be incredibly expensive, but it appears that I am the only person interested in them. That is totally fine by me! I love being able to collect something from my past that is still affordable. Especially something so coo-coo-cool! 

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Why aren't you watching?! Jem and the Holograms

A long time ago, in the 80's, there was a wonderful world of cartoons on television. There was always an interesting cast of characters on any given show. Plotlines to these shows were all over the place. Sometimes storylines would just be so ridiculous you had to wonder if the creators were high on anything.

An exciting thing about older cartoons was that everything was watchable. Cartoons that were aimed at boys could just as easily have been aimed at girls. I loved He-Man and the Real and Faux Ghostbusters. Those were fun cartoons and of course the Masters of the Universe cartoon gave way to She-Ra: Princess of Power, which is by far the best cartoon ever.

So the basic premise of "boy" cartoons was that there was a group of badguys that needed to be stopped by a group of good guys. That was pretty much it. Something cool would go down, but that basic format would occur. There might have been some character development or some moral to the story, but that was usually it.

Cartoons that were aimed at girls were slightly different. Now "girl" cartoons totally had good vs. evil storylines. I won't lie about that. My Little Pony for example had one of the creepiest episodes in cartoon history. I dare anyone to watch it and not be creeped out! The episode was entitled "Rescue at Midnight Castle." It was truly chilling. I love it and enjoy watching it to this day. Girly cartoons followed a formula that was similar to boy cartoons as well.

However there was one difference, romance. Girl cartoons had action, drama, and suspense, but the addition of romance really changed things. Look at an episode of She-Ra called "Sweet Bee's Home." The way Frosta responds to He-Man is just a mess. Miss Girl has it bad for him and it gets crazy when he only has eyes for Sweet Bee.

This idea of romance in cartoons is truly evident in Jem and the Holograms. I used to love watching Jem when I was little. There was fashion, glitter, and fame packed into every episode. There was a colorful cast of characters. Even the badgirls were just delicious. It was hard not to love them. Plus there were three songs in every episode! Not only did you get a show but you also got to see three mini music videos of Jem or the Misfits flying through space singing like they were on an acid trip. It was the best.

So imagine my happiness when Hasbro's cable station called the Hub started airing the old episodes of Jem and the Holograms! My life has never been the same since they started airing again. It is absolutely the best entertainment on tv right now. (Though it does give True Blood a run for its money!)

Watching this cartoon as an adult though has been interesting. Basically it is all one big 30 minute mess. There is so much drama and people are constantly involved in kidnappings or near death experiences. There is betrayal. I mean what were we watching as kids?! I can't get over it!

I thought it would be nice to do a run down of the characters so you could all refresh your memory, or for the youngins, something completely new to learn about! And keep in mind I have gotten my husband and friends hooked on watching this show. Well technically I have been forcing my husband to watch, but he laughs every now and then. It's fun for everyone!

                                                                     The Holograms
                                                                  Jerrica Benton/ Jem

Jerrica benton is the owner of Starlight Music and heads the Starlight Foundation for orphan girls. She is also Jem, lead singer of Jem and the Holograms. This gig is due to her deceased father giving Jerrica a holographic computer system that calls itself Synergy (see below.) Jerrica has the ability to contact Synergy, via her earrings, to create all kinds of holograms. So with a quick "It's showtime Synergy!" Jerrica turns into Jem and is just outrageous. Of course only the other Hologram members know this secret because if the technology were to fall into the wrong hands, there is no telling what kind of diabolical things could happen! My goodness we could all be tricked into wearing awesomely bad 80's hologram outfits! Jerrica/Jem also has a weird love triangle(!) with Rio. More on that later!

Kimber Benton

Oh Kimber. What will we do with her? Kimber is Jerrica's younger sister. As the head song writer for the Holograms Kimber is also their keyboardist. She is also a mess (I personally think due to the Benton sisters losing their dad.) She is either getting kidnapped and placed inside volcanoes or taking everyone down with her as she falls off the high dive. She is also a bit whiny. And the shady lady has no problem leading men on. In one episode she "accidentally" sets dates with two different men and they both show up at the same time! Seriously! She is a hot damn mess. But she is secretly one of my favorites!  

Shana Elmsford

Shana is the fabulous fashion designer of the band. She also plays the drums and guitar. From various episodes she is considered to be the most sensitive of the girls, but she does not put up with any shit. She has been known to have an attitude, especially when it comes to her fashions. In one episode someone working for the Misfits tries to steal her fashion sketches and she fights for those drawings! She also has a steady boyfriend in the series named Anthony. At least it seems like he is her boyfriend. Either way she is not a trolip like Kimber!

Aja Leith

Aja plays guitar. She also drives the 'Rockin Roadster. Usually she is driving the car off a cliff or something dangerous, but that is usually because the Misfits are constantly trying to harm the Holograms. It is like a turf war or something. Either way Aja also seems to have moments where she seems brutally honest. She also puts people on blast. For example in one episode one of her bandmates makes a pun, and she is like, "That was a terrible pun!" Ok Aja! And she has a slightly brief romance with Stormer's brother. But he leaves to Europe in disgrace for nearly betraying the Holograms. I also think he has anger problems.

Carmen "Raya" Alonso 
Oh poor sweet Raya. She joins the Holograms later on in the series to replace Shana on drums (Shana sticks around on guitar.) Put simply Raya has awfully low self esteem. Really bad. She eventually gets over it and realizes she is an integral part of the Holograms. She also has big hair, but don't they all? 

The Misfits
Oh Pizzazz is just the best. Her real name is Phyllis Gabor, but don't say that to her face. She will cut you. Leader of the Misfits, Pizzazz is just trashy. I don't even know how else to describe her. Flat out trashy. She comes from money and is highly jealous of Jem and the Holograms. Her mother walked out on the Gabor family when Pizzazz was little. Pizzazz's father is super rich but they aren't really close. He just gives her money whenever she wants to buy her own music company or make her own movie. Throughout the series you get the feeling that they would both like to be closer but don't know how. It is fireworks though when Pizzazz witnesses her father walking off a Concord plane all father-and-daughter-like with Kimber! Rage, a lot of rage. She is just selfish and mean. Of course this makes her all the more entertaining. She is truly a villain you love to hate.  

Roxy is rough, plain and simple. Her real name is Roxanne Pelligrini. She is the loud mouth of the Misfits. She is also very cautious about letting anyone new join the band. She is just full of attitude. Roxy is the type of chick you want with you in a bar fight at 4 in the morning. Granted she'll probably be the reason the bar fight is started in the first place, but what are you gonna do? She is a Misfit!

Stormer (Mary Phillips) is the nicest out of the Misfits. There was even one episode where Stormer and Kimber join forces and form a close friendship while starting their own band, much to everyones surprise. Whenever the Misfits have really gone and done something dangerous and highly illegal, Stormer is the one that will be worried that their rivals might actually die. However for some reason she gets her kicks by belonging to the venemous Misfits. 

I think someone missed the memo when naming this manipulative wreck. All I can think of is the  Volkswagon car. Her real name is Sheila Burns. Jetta plays the sax and is encouraged to join the Misfits later in the series because as Stormer puts it, "With her playing the sax we can have a more complex sound." Umm whatever Misfits. Roxy doesn't trust her at all. Maybe that is because Jetta has no problem paying thugs to trash other people's property or blatantly stealing money from the Misfit's manager Eric Raymond. Out of anyone I would say she poses the biggest threat to Jem and the Holograms. Plus her hair is out of control.  

Other characters
Synergy is an image from the holographic computer that helps Jem and the Holograms, usually out of dangerous situations. This is to say that Synergy works over time because the Misfits are always doing something awful to the Holograms. I just want to know how the Misfits never get arrested. They break dozens of crimes in every episode! Either way Synergy firmly believes that the rest of the world can't find out about the technology that Jerrica/Jem uses. World powers and the Misfits could basically destroy the world. With hologram images. I know it sounds crazy, but just go with it. There is also a fun episode where Synergy helps out the whiny Kimber. Really fun stuff!

Oh dreamy Rio! Ken has nothing on Rio at all. Jerrica is a lucky gal to be dating Rio. In fact Jerrica is so lucky she plays games with Rio. I mean straight up games, like Jerrica will be Jem and totally lead him on. There are quite a few episodes where Rio is on the verge of cheating on Jerrica with Jem, and Rio will be like, "Oh I can't, Jerrica would be hurt." And Jem is like, "I'm sure Jerrica won't mind." Jem is such a hussy! An international holographic hussy! Rio thinks he is playing around with two different women but they are both one in the same! That is messed up. Why were we watching this as kids? Oh I know, it was the 80's and it just made sense for kids to watch a very bizarre love triangle unfold in cartoon form. Hell, it taught me some great life lessons. What is even sillier about it all is that Jerrica and Jem are clearly the same person, Jem just wears more make up.

Eric Raymond 
Eric Raymond is slimey. He is also the Misfit's manager and was once a half-owner of Starlight Music before Jerrica found out the shady business dealings he was doing. Eric is also behind a good number of the schemes and dramas that happen to Jem and the Holograms. He'll just devise a new plan and let the Misfits run off to try and accomplish it. (They always fail.) However the Misfits don't put up with much from him. They will snip him where it hurts if they have to. Or they will just steal his money. I mean they are called the Misfits for a reason. 

So that is mostly it for the characters on Jem and the Holograms. There are a few others but I am not about to do a run down of everyone on the show. You just need to go out and dvr the show on your tv! It is such a fun cartoon and just out of control. The show is a total mess. I just love it. It makes me wonder if current pop acts like Lady Gaga and Katy Perry were influenced by Jem and the Holograms in any way. 

Also most of the songs from the Holograms and the Misfits have gotten stuck in my head and I will sing them whenever. They seriously drill into your head! Go and look up "I've Got My Eye on You" it is just a fantastic song! I realize I am slightly losing my mind, but it is ok. This show is a national treasure. A hidden relic from a time when cartoons involved scandal and drama with women that had a lot of strange shapes painted on their faces, and romance between a clueless guy with two women that were one in the same.