December 2015 Bodacious Baddie

Dear Diary,

Things have gotten messy on Main Street. Hordak and Catra are in fisticuffs. We're trying to find the other Cat Ladies to help. We're also trying to find a way to stop Lady Kale. She's this supreme cosmic force that wants me destroyed on account that I died and came back to life thanks to Maleficent's magic. Now it's like nothing makes sense anymore. I feel like at any moment the world is going to crumble all around me, like in one of those Marvel comic events. Speaking of those Marvel events, I wonder when the latest Secret Wars event will be over. I feel like it's been dragged out for far too long. Anyways, my world needs saving. Comic talk can wait.

-Miss M

November 2015 Bodacious Baddie!

To the being that finds this and can actually read it,

My name is Irma Langinstein. I'm from a place called Earth. I'm a newcomer to Dimension X and sadly my whole reason for being here has gone up in smoke. My party and I were here for special reasons involving eventual travel to Dimension Y and Z as well as trying to find my friend's missing father. Now we've been on a detour as we are waiting to meet the ruler of this Dimension. I'm just frustrated. Mostly because I think I made a mistake coming here. I miss Guy Friday. I've messed up. I left him behind and now I'm stuck in Dimension X with a makeshift Ghostbusters crew, and hold up, is that Miss Piggy?!

Irma

October 2015 Bodacious Baddie!

Dear Diary,

The plans are coming along for April's Halloween bash. I'm really hoping that her party will be a hit. Can I be honest though? I kinda just want my Halloween to be simple. Maybe do a little trick or treating with Bruce and Yvie, and then just go home and veg out with some horror movies. Maybe have a little spooky adult fun with Bruce after Yvie falls asleep for the night. Come to think of it, ever since Bruce and I became a couple we haven't really consummated anything. Like, he isn't waiting for marriage is he? No. Bruce Wayne is a playboy. He has slept around more than I can count, so then why hasn't he tried to sleep with me? Is there something wrong with me? Am I not good enough? Am I, gasp, boring? I heard boredom is a sure fire way to slay a boner. Heaven help me.

-Miss M

September 2015 Bodacious Baddie!

To the stars I hope to see,

An eternity. That is how long I have left in this place. An eternity. I was chained to a fate when I was alive and now I am chained to a fate here, in the After Life. I miss the stars. I'd see them once in awhile, through the slits in the shutters in my prison when I was alive. I long to be free. I am a slave to the desires of monsters, forever twisting and writhing for their entertainment. It never ends and now it will last for an eternity. I'm not quite sure how I came to be in this endless loop of madness. I'm dead, but even the dead can't be free. Not here. All I can hope is that one day I'll see the stars. 

Oola

August 2015 Bodacious Baddie!

Space Log Entry 176-C

Reporting from the Fifth Quadrant Galaxy under the orders of Lady Kale, Queen of the Cosmos. My search for any and all data on the whereabouts of Miss M has led my efforts to a lone space diner. I am in the midst of meeting an informant. This should reveal any and all information on Miss M, or as the Galaxy Court has been calling her: Star Whip The Murderer of the Future.

End of Space Log Entry 176-C

Horroscope

July 2015 Bodacious Baddie Special! The Conference of Evil!!!

In a gleaming replica of the Crystal Castle in the After Life, Ed talks shop with Maleficent...

Ed: Ya know something tells me if I were alive right now it'd be time for the Conference of Evil. I don't know how to explain it exactly but I feel my geeky bone act all funny and stuff.
Maleficent: I can't believe I decided to hide out here with you. You and that dork girl M were made for each other.

Ed: Yeah. I wonder if she'll be there. Man, if I hadn't gotten that stupid job at the Chinese restaurant in the mall and been trampled by those tween Twihards I'd be able to go with her. If we had known each other when I was alive of course.

Maleficent: You aren't missing much. I've been to a few Conference of Evils not to long ago.

Ed: How? You're dead like me. For awhile now.

Maleficent: That's where you're wrong little dork man. The nights of the Conference of Evil are magic. Evil is at its strongest during that time and I am able to travel to the world of the living as a shadow. I've done it before and I can do it again if you'd like to go?
Ed: Nah, I'm not sure I'd like to mess with all that stuff. Plus you need to be hiding out from some sort of cosmic evil, remember?

Knock! Knock!

Knock! Knock!

Maleficent: Is that someone at the door?

Gwen Stacy: Ed? Ed, are you in there? It seems like it's been an eternity since I've seen you. Are you there?

Gwen Stacy: Why are you living in a pink castle now? Ed!

Maleficent: Who is that?
Ed: Oh crap. That's Gwen Stacy.

Maleficent: And I should know who that is?

Ed: Gwen is like every dead dork guy's dream. We had a brief fling awhile ago, but that was all before I met Miss M. I just couldn't bare to tell Gwen that I had moved on. I mean, she has been through enough ya know?

Maleficent: We all have. Shall I answer the door?
Ed: No! No! Look, we can just sneak out of the castle and wait for her to go away. I can't tell her the truth right now. I'm just a dorky guy in a panda suit. I'm not trying to hurt anyone.

Maleficent: You could always let me work my magic, Come on, let's leave the After Life for a moment. The Conference of Evil is calling...

Gwen Stacy: Ed? Ed?

Ed: Ok. Let's go. Work your magic mad woman!

Maleficent: Very well...

Click the link and start the 2015 Conference of Evil!

(Editor's note, the Conference of Evil takes place during the weekend of San Diego Comic Con)

June 2015 Bodacious Baddie! Plus Bonuses!

Dear Diary:

Something happened recently. I took a trip down memory lane with April O'Neil and we recounted our crazy days in high school, but meanwhile time has just slipped on by! Now enough of the gross out memories of our youth. We have a show to do! So let's find out what's been going on these last number of weeks.

-Miss M

April 2015 Bodacious Baddie!

Dear Diary,

My goodness does it ever end? Ever since April O'Neil's grand ball I have just been so busy. My social calendar has been filled with dates. I've been working my behind off at the new offices. I'm also making time for friends from the Broken Hearts Toy Club. I've also got a really big secret. It's a huge secret. Something I have been keeping from everyone and I just want to share it with the world. Oh Diary, will I ever be able to tell everyone my truth? Maybe one day. For now, I have a dinner party to host.

-Miss M

March 2015 Bodacious Baddie!

What's up dude diary?

This is Ed. I'm dead. Just takin it easy in the After Life. Actually it's not really that easy. It was easy. Everything was easy in the After life before she came into the picture. Ever since I met Miss M, my heart has been beating differently. Metaphorically speaking. I'm deader than dead and thus have no real heart anymore. With much regret though, Miss M left the After Life. Get this dude diary, she left for a second chance at life again! How does that even work? Who gets those kinds of second chances? This isn't a Marvel comic. It doesn't matter though. I still wait patiently for the day when she'll die again and we'll be reunited. Until then, I just continue to take it easy in the Crystal Castle replica I built for her. Because that's what love is. Building your sweet lady a Crystal Castle replica to live in. In the After Life. Now if only she'd seriously want to spend the rest of eternity together...

-Ed

February 2015 Bodacious Baddie!

Dear Diary,

So the group therapy for the broken hearted has been fabulous. I adore my therapy group so much. Who had any idea that a bunch of lonely folk could make me feel like I truly belong? At least for this moment in my life. But that's not the thing I am really excited about with this group. I have actually been hanging out with a guy from the group. I know Diary! I know! Don't judge me! I had no intention of joining a therapy group and crushing hardcore on one of my group members. But Diary, this is Billy the Blue Power Ranger we're talking about here. We have been having so much fun getting to know each other and he says I'm cute. I have a feeling he is going to ask me to be his girlfriend. I mean, could this not be any more better?

-Miss M

January 2015 Bodacious Baddie!

Dear Diary,

Oh Diary. Why can't the universe understand that girls just wanna have fun? What was meant to be a routine road trip through space with my girl She-Ra has now turned into a death match against one of the baddest most bodacious baddies ever invented: Skeletor! I don't know how this is going to turn out, but I do know this one thing... I want a darn sword too!

-Miss M

December 2014 Bodacious Baddie!

Dear Diary,

As 2014 winds down, and what a wind down it has been, I am finding myself in a mood. I'm no longer friends with my best friend. The holidays are here and I am just over them. The man I love married someone else. However it's not all bad. I'm back in my old body. I have a new pet dog. And I'm getting ready to help put Velvet Sky away for a very long time for taking away my life. She won't be getting away with her crimes! At all!

Miss M

November 2014 Bodacious Baddie!

Dear Diary,

So, I'm in the freakin After Life. Again. I've finally made it back to my body, but now I am trying to teach Maleficent how to be kind. What sort of cruel joke is this? I've got people to reunite with on Earth! Where I belong. Not in this nightmare that has gone on all freaking year! Someone help me!

Miss M

October 2014 Bodacious Baddie!

Dear Diary,

What do I do? I'm waiting on my brand spanking new makeover and for what? Freakin Mona Lisa is getting her hair did too for her big date with Michelangelo. He just happens to be the love of my life. Not hers! Argh. What's a girl to do while trapped in the wrong body? I can't give up though. I did not go through all this drama during this past year to wind up alone and bitter with crimped hair. Oh no. I'm gonna get what I want. I'm gonna get my man and the rest will be history. 

-Miss M

Miss M Presents: Kill She-Ra! The September 2014 Bodacious Baddie Extravaganza!

Dear Diary,

They want me to kill She-Ra. That's all.

-Miss M

September 2014: Bodacious Baddie!

Dear Diary,

Well, Total Darkness is over. I thought that crap would never end. My goodness! The world seems to be going back to normal though. I'm still stuck in the body of Moth Lady, a villain from the 80's. Michelangelo is smitten with Mona Lisa and has no intention of even realizing that I am the one and only Miss M. I've been avoiding Batman, which sucks because I kinda live at his mansion. Or Bruce Wayne's mansion. Or whatever the politically correct name is. Having a secret super hero identity has got to be exhausting. I don't even know how they all do it. Like, no matter how hard I try to reveal my true self, no one cares. Yet somehow Bruce Wayne dons a dingy looking suit with a cape he washes with Woolite for dark colors, and all of a sudden he has to keep things a secret? Like, why? He doesn't even have a girlfriend who would be put in danger. Oh I digress Diary.

I'm just glad Splinter is safe and sound. He is alive, so I can't complain. And hey, I might actually have a new job! Well, it's my old job. I got a call from April O'Neil and she asked for me to stop by my former house to visit with her. She said something about needing help at the Diary of a Dorkette office. Isn't it funny how things can come full circle? I guess.

See ya!
-Miss M

Total Darkness: August 2014 Bodacious Baddie!

Dear Diary,

I can't see. In fact, I'm sure this entry will be riddled with misspelled words and tacky antecedents. The world is gripped in total darkness. It's kinda my fault. I didn't know that Maleficent's dragon figurine was going to usher us into the Stone Age. That's Godzilla's job. I wonder what Godzilla is doing and if he is seeing anyone. I've had a crush on him all summer. I shouldn't even say that because my heart belongs to Michelangelo. I just need to fix this mess with all this evil running amok, and I need to find a way to return to my former body and all will be right with the universe. For now I'm traveling with Batman to head to some generators to try and get the power going for the city. I think it's a lame idea, but what do I know? Anything is better than this. Anything.

-Miss M

July 2014 Bodacious Baddie: The Conference of Evil- Part 1!

Previously on All My Toys...

Miss M died at the end of 2013 courtesy of a plot devised by TNA wrestler Velvet Sky and Hordak. After briefly living in the After Life, Miss M made a deal with Maleficent. The dork girl would get to return to Earth and live, if she could find an old dragon figurine from Maleficent's childhood.

Back on Earth, and in the wrong body, Miss M tried her best to explain to her loved ones that she was indeed the real Miss M. No one believed her. She did however find friendship from Bruce Wayne. A new deal was soon made, that if Miss M could find the dragon figurine, Maleficent would completely fulfill the wish and allow Miss M to return to her original form. Only Miss M sat on her hands and went on a slew of other adventures before eventually finding the dragon figurine in Bruce Wayne's Archival Room; of all places.

No longer content to wait, Maleficent gained control of the After Life and spirited away to Earth in the form of Superwoman, hoping to find Miss M and her dragon figure. Now, the Conference of Evil is upon the world, and Miss M is trapped inside Bruce Wayne's Archival Room trying to find the dragon figurine. Can she make it? And will she finally be reunited with her body? Or will Maleficent bring upon a dark curse across the world? Read on for Part 1 of the Conference of Evil!!!

June 2014 Bodacious Baddie!

Dear Diary,

It's been a minute since Batman was nearly killed at the hands of the Roach. I've been playing nurse. That sounds much sexier than it really is. I had to help Bruce stitch the gaping wound on his stomach. There was blood and guts everywhere. Luckily there are no pictures to chronicle this grody moment in my life because I have been trying to forget it. Also, Bruce is a nice patient. He sits around and reads the paper. I bring him food and regale him with tales from my life in my old body. He acts funny whenever I talk about my love for Michelangelo. I guess he has problems with a girl falling for a Ninja Turtle. Had someone told my younger self that I'd be madly in love with a Ninja Turtle I would have scoffed, but like I always say, the heart wants what the heart wants. Anyways, I need to get back to helping Bruce. Alfred is still in the hospital and there is a lot of work to be done. Of course, before my work, Bruce and I are going to listen to our favorite radio show After Dark, hosted by Sydney Rutledge! (editor's note: Sydney is none other than the Swans Crossing rival of Mila! Readers will remember that Mila is annoying and is sisters with the vile Velvet Sky!) Anyways, I am off again Diary.

-Miss M

May 2014 Bodacious Baddie!

Dear Diary,

Ok. So here's the latest scoop. I'm still in Arkham Asylum. I have no idea when I'm getting out. It really sucks. I have made some new friends though. Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy took some getting used to at first, but they aren't so bad now. Sure Harley goes on and on about her Mr. J and Ivy rattles on about plant facts ad nauseam, but it really is nice. Jean Grey also stops by for visits from her stint in super hero rehab on the first floor. The rehab floor is pretty cool. The patients there aren't treated harshly like the criminally insane floor. They have a spa and there's the underground mall. Plus they get to go to group therapy and actually have someone listen to them talk about their problems! I have been trying to get someone to listen to my problems for months. Who knew I just needed therapy? Anyways, I guess this is where my story will end. Arkham Asylum isn't that bad. I can see myself growing old here. I'm in control of Moth Lady's body and I know I'll never find this silly dragon figurine that Maleficent keeps talking about. Plus, I think there is even going to be a spring formal where the women will get to mingle with the men. Maybe this is where I'll end up finding my next great love. After all, Michelangelo is never going to love me looking like this. Oh well Diary, I'm out!

-Miss M