January 2015 Bodacious Baddie!

Dear Diary,

Oh Diary. Why can't the universe understand that girls just wanna have fun? What was meant to be a routine road trip through space with my girl She-Ra has now turned into a death match against one of the baddest most bodacious baddies ever invented: Skeletor! I don't know how this is going to turn out, but I do know this one thing... I want a darn sword too!

-Miss M

She-Ra: Skeletor! This can't go on any longer. I'm too strong for you.

Skeletor: Never She-Ra! I have found my niche in space! Space is the place!

Miss M: (grooves her head) Hey all right! Some Spacehog!

Skeletor: Quiet you infernal dork girl! You two will not ruin my plans for intergalactic domination! The secrets of the universe will be mine!

She-Ra: There are no secrets Skeletor. That's all a sham created by Hollywood and scientists.

Miss M: Wait, there are no secrets in the universe?

She-Ra: (whispers) Totally, but I don't want him knowing that!

Skeletor: Enough with this foolishness! It ends now! You end now... She-Ra!

She-Ra: Miss M, I want you to travel to that escape pod to the right.
Miss M: My right or your right?
She-Ra: Stage right.

Miss M: (panics) What? I'm confused. You know I get foggy on rights and lefts!
She-Ra: Just get to the escape pod.
Miss M: I can't leave you here alone.

She-Ra: I won't be alone, I'll have Swift Wind to help me.
Miss M: No offense, but you'll need more girl power.
She-Ra: M, my story might end here in space. I could get exposed to some evil bone marrow and become a darker more desperate version of myself. I could become truly evil and join forces with Skeletor.

Miss M: You and I both know that would never happen.

She-Ra: Yeah, you're totally right, but the fact is, you have a life waiting for you on Earth. You need to heed the call of your guru Yoda and find out what life has in store for you, because I can tell you this much; it is not going to involve some stale old tale about good fighting evil in space. Space isn't always the place.

Miss M: I really like Spacehog though. I'll get you a burned CD.

She-Ra: But in the meantime you need to go. Now!

Miss M: Ok.

She-Ra: Oh! And tell Bow...

Miss M: Tell Bow what?

She-Ra: Never mind, just go!

Miss M: Wait! Tell Bow what?! She-Ra!

Miss M blasts off into an escape pod that hurtles her back to Earth.

She-Ra: Ok Skeletor. Let's finish this!

Skeletor: And to think, my epic battle to end all epic battles will involve you and not your muscle bound oaf of a brother. Oh well. I much prefer this battle! For the secrets of the universe!

She-Ra: And the honor of Grayskull!

Meanwhile in an escape pod hurtling through space...

Miss M: I wonder if this is how Sandra Bullock felt in Gravity. Oh I really hope I don't encounter satellite debris, though maybe bumping into George Clooney wouldn't be that bad of an idea. Wait. Is it too late to be telling Gravity jokes? What year am I living in?

Miss M: Crap. I need to focus. What am I going to do when I return home? Besides informing Bow that She-Ra totally loves him, because I'm sure that's what she was going to tell me. I need to figure out my own love life. In fact that's it! I must tell Bruce Wayne how I truly feel. I'm ready to be his!

Meanwhile...

Catwoman: Why is it that you and I know how to save the day so well?

Batman: I'm not sure I'd call that saving the day. You nearly ripped that guy's head off. I'm also pretty sure you stole some items.

Catwoman: I was merely trying to get answers to help Catra find Tigerclaw.

Batman: There are other ways to get answers from a perp.

Catwoman: Oh that's right, I forgot. You're a detective. You know these things.

Batman: I know that violence doesn't always have to be the answer.

Catwoman: Than what is the answer, hmm Batman? (sighs heavily and looks seductively at Batman)

Batman: You are getting a little too close.

Catwoman: You used to like me getting close.

Batman: That was before.

Catwoman: Before? (prepares to crash into the manor through the skylight)

Batman: Come on, you know I have feelings for someone else.

Catwoman: Look, why don't you entertain a girl hmm? Follow me.

Batman: We can use the front door.

Catwoman: Tell me, can she make you feel like I do?

Batman: You know she is your friend, right?

Catwoman: Yes. I know that Miss M is my friend and the current object of your misdirected heart, but come on. Do you really think that the two of you are meant to be together?

Batman: I don't know the answer to that because there always seems to be an obstacle in the way.

Catwoman: Maybe that's the universe telling you to pay attention. I adore M. She's the sweetest. But she is nothing more than a diversion, a play thing. You'll grow bored Bruce. You always do. That's when you come back to play with your favorite kitty.

Batman: You and I are too much trouble.

Catwoman: You and I are the only two that can make our pulses race. Come on Batman. You're a lot of things and have been a great deal to many women, but there can only be one Cat for the Bat.

Batman: Ummm.

Catwoman: I think you know what you really want.

Batman: Ummm.

Miss M: Yeah. Batman. What do you really want?

Batman: M?!

Catwoman: Oh my goodness, M!

Miss M: Thanks a lot. I feel like I'm in 90210 but this is like ten times worse! Catwoman, you are supposed to be my friend, and Bruce... or should I say Batman, this just says it all!

Miss M storms off.

Batman: Shit. M! Hold on!

Catwoman: Oh no. That wasn't meant to happen.

Batman: M! Stop!
Miss M: Stay away from me!

Batman: M! No. It's not what you think.

Miss M: Oh really? It isn't?

Batman: No. I was helping Catwoman on a mission and she got a little close.

Miss M: Oh can it! You act like I've never read a comic in my entire life! I know you two share a connection. I can't believe I was stupid to think that something meaningful could happen between us.

Batman: Wait, what?

Miss M: I should have just stayed in space. It's safer there.

Batman: Wait, what?

Miss M: I was coming back to tell you I wanted to make something happen between us. But come on. I can't compare to her.

Batman: Don't say that. You are amazing.

Miss M: Oh, I know I'm amazing. Let me be very clear. I am amazing. However, there is a history between her and you that I'd be crazy to stand in the way of. Let's face it. We'd have a few moments of happiness, but in the end, you'd end up with Catwoman. It's just the way it is.

Batman: It doesn't have to be that way though. We can write our own story. I care about you.

Miss M: I know you do. I care for you too. This just isn't our story to share. I want to be the most important person in a man's life, not a secondary character until the vixen shows up in the gray suit. I want to be the vixen, to be everything.

Batman: So that's it.

Miss M: Yeah. That's it. See ya later Bruce.

Batman: Goodbye.

Catwoman: M, I'm sorry.

Miss M: Oh come on Catwoman. Don't apologize. You two might not be together right now, but it's only a matter of time.

Catwoman: Ya know, you really shouldn't be a pushover. If you really wanted him, I would have stepped aside for love.

Miss M: Love is not meant to truly be a battlefield. No man is worth fighting another woman for. You are a total B though.

Catwoman: Meow. Look at you and all that sass. So what's next M?

Miss M: I'm not sure. But I think I know where I need to start. See ya.

Catwoman: Oh, and M, what did the B stand for?

Miss M: Hmm... Let's see. It pairs well with Bodacious.

January 2015 Bodacious Baddie!

Later on...

Miss M: Hi. My name is Miss M and I'm a broken hearted romantic. I have a horrible time figuring out what my heart wants.

Frankenberry: All right group, let's welcome Miss M.

Group: Welcome Miss M!

Miss M: Wow. So this is group toy therapy?

Miss M: I mean, I didn't realize there were so many other broken hearts out there.

Frankenberry: You have no idea! I think we need a break gang!

Frankenberry: You'll be so glad you joined the Broken Plastic Hearts Club.

Miss M: I can only hope this is the right step I need to be on.

Frankenberry: Trust me, after my failed relationships with the Bride and Strawberry Shortcake, I devised this group for the broken hearted. We usually meet in a few different spots across town and there are always new and former members checking in and what-not. It's a great group. We're glad to have you Miss M.

Miss M: Yeah. This is great. Just great. Exactly what I need.

Up next!

Learn more about the broken hearted!