Tuesday, January 27, 2015

January 2015 Bodacious Baddie!

Dear Diary,

Oh Diary. Why can't the universe understand that girls just wanna have fun? What was meant to be a routine road trip through space with my girl She-Ra has now turned into a death match against one of the baddest most bodacious baddies ever invented: Skeletor! I don't know how this is going to turn out, but I do know this one thing... I want a darn sword too!

-Miss M

She-Ra: Skeletor! This can't go on any longer. I'm too strong for you.

Skeletor: Never She-Ra! I have found my niche in space! Space is the place!

Miss M: (grooves her head) Hey all right! Some Spacehog!

Skeletor: Quiet you infernal dork girl! You two will not ruin my plans for intergalactic domination! The secrets of the universe will be mine!

She-Ra: There are no secrets Skeletor. That's all a sham created by Hollywood and scientists.

Miss M: Wait, there are no secrets in the universe?

She-Ra: (whispers) Totally, but I don't want him knowing that!

Skeletor: Enough with this foolishness! It ends now! You end now... She-Ra!

She-Ra: Miss M, I want you to travel to that escape pod to the right.
Miss M: My right or your right?
She-Ra: Stage right.

Miss M: (panics) What? I'm confused. You know I get foggy on rights and lefts!
She-Ra: Just get to the escape pod.
Miss M: I can't leave you here alone.

She-Ra: I won't be alone, I'll have Swift Wind to help me.
Miss M: No offense, but you'll need more girl power.
She-Ra: M, my story might end here in space. I could get exposed to some evil bone marrow and become a darker more desperate version of myself. I could become truly evil and join forces with Skeletor.

Miss M: You and I both know that would never happen.

She-Ra: Yeah, you're totally right, but the fact is, you have a life waiting for you on Earth. You need to heed the call of your guru Yoda and find out what life has in store for you, because I can tell you this much; it is not going to involve some stale old tale about good fighting evil in space. Space isn't always the place.

Miss M: I really like Spacehog though. I'll get you a burned CD.

She-Ra: But in the meantime you need to go. Now!

Miss M: Ok.

She-Ra: Oh! And tell Bow...

Miss M: Tell Bow what?

She-Ra: Never mind, just go!

Miss M: Wait! Tell Bow what?! She-Ra!

Miss M blasts off into an escape pod that hurtles her back to Earth.

She-Ra: Ok Skeletor. Let's finish this!

Skeletor: And to think, my epic battle to end all epic battles will involve you and not your muscle bound oaf of a brother. Oh well. I much prefer this battle! For the secrets of the universe!

She-Ra: And the honor of Grayskull!

Meanwhile in an escape pod hurtling through space...

Miss M: I wonder if this is how Sandra Bullock felt in Gravity. Oh I really hope I don't encounter satellite debris, though maybe bumping into George Clooney wouldn't be that bad of an idea. Wait. Is it too late to be telling Gravity jokes? What year am I living in?

Miss M: Crap. I need to focus. What am I going to do when I return home? Besides informing Bow that She-Ra totally loves him, because I'm sure that's what she was going to tell me. I need to figure out my own love life. In fact that's it! I must tell Bruce Wayne how I truly feel. I'm ready to be his!


Catwoman: Why is it that you and I know how to save the day so well?

Batman: I'm not sure I'd call that saving the day. You nearly ripped that guy's head off. I'm also pretty sure you stole some items.

Catwoman: I was merely trying to get answers to help Catra find Tigerclaw.

Batman: There are other ways to get answers from a perp.

Catwoman: Oh that's right, I forgot. You're a detective. You know these things.

Batman: I know that violence doesn't always have to be the answer.

Catwoman: Than what is the answer, hmm Batman? (sighs heavily and looks seductively at Batman)

Batman: You are getting a little too close.

Catwoman: You used to like me getting close.

Batman: That was before.

Catwoman: Before? (prepares to crash into the manor through the skylight)

Batman: Come on, you know I have feelings for someone else.

Catwoman: Look, why don't you entertain a girl hmm? Follow me.

Batman: We can use the front door.

Catwoman: Tell me, can she make you feel like I do?

Batman: You know she is your friend, right?

Catwoman: Yes. I know that Miss M is my friend and the current object of your misdirected heart, but come on. Do you really think that the two of you are meant to be together?

Batman: I don't know the answer to that because there always seems to be an obstacle in the way.

Catwoman: Maybe that's the universe telling you to pay attention. I adore M. She's the sweetest. But she is nothing more than a diversion, a play thing. You'll grow bored Bruce. You always do. That's when you come back to play with your favorite kitty.

Batman: You and I are too much trouble.

Catwoman: You and I are the only two that can make our pulses race. Come on Batman. You're a lot of things and have been a great deal to many women, but there can only be one Cat for the Bat.

Batman: Ummm.

Catwoman: I think you know what you really want.

Batman: Ummm.

Miss M: Yeah. Batman. What do you really want?

Batman: M?!

Catwoman: Oh my goodness, M!

Miss M: Thanks a lot. I feel like I'm in 90210 but this is like ten times worse! Catwoman, you are supposed to be my friend, and Bruce... or should I say Batman, this just says it all!

Miss M storms off.

Batman: Shit. M! Hold on!

Catwoman: Oh no. That wasn't meant to happen.

Batman: M! Stop!
Miss M: Stay away from me!

Batman: M! No. It's not what you think.

Miss M: Oh really? It isn't?

Batman: No. I was helping Catwoman on a mission and she got a little close.

Miss M: Oh can it! You act like I've never read a comic in my entire life! I know you two share a connection. I can't believe I was stupid to think that something meaningful could happen between us.

Batman: Wait, what?

Miss M: I should have just stayed in space. It's safer there.

Batman: Wait, what?

Miss M: I was coming back to tell you I wanted to make something happen between us. But come on. I can't compare to her.

Batman: Don't say that. You are amazing.

Miss M: Oh, I know I'm amazing. Let me be very clear. I am amazing. However, there is a history between her and you that I'd be crazy to stand in the way of. Let's face it. We'd have a few moments of happiness, but in the end, you'd end up with Catwoman. It's just the way it is.

Batman: It doesn't have to be that way though. We can write our own story. I care about you.

Miss M: I know you do. I care for you too. This just isn't our story to share. I want to be the most important person in a man's life, not a secondary character until the vixen shows up in the gray suit. I want to be the vixen, to be everything.

Batman: So that's it.

Miss M: Yeah. That's it. See ya later Bruce.

Batman: Goodbye.

Catwoman: M, I'm sorry.

Miss M: Oh come on Catwoman. Don't apologize. You two might not be together right now, but it's only a matter of time.

Catwoman: Ya know, you really shouldn't be a pushover. If you really wanted him, I would have stepped aside for love.

Miss M: Love is not meant to truly be a battlefield. No man is worth fighting another woman for. You are a total B though.

Catwoman: Meow. Look at you and all that sass. So what's next M?

Miss M: I'm not sure. But I think I know where I need to start. See ya.

Catwoman: Oh, and M, what did the B stand for?

Miss M: Hmm... Let's see. It pairs well with Bodacious.

January 2015 Bodacious Baddie!

Later on...

Miss M: Hi. My name is Miss M and I'm a broken hearted romantic. I have a horrible time figuring out what my heart wants.

Frankenberry: All right group, let's welcome Miss M.

Group: Welcome Miss M!

Miss M: Wow. So this is group toy therapy?

Miss M: I mean, I didn't realize there were so many other broken hearts out there.

Frankenberry: You have no idea! I think we need a break gang!

Frankenberry: You'll be so glad you joined the Broken Plastic Hearts Club.

Miss M: I can only hope this is the right step I need to be on.

Frankenberry: Trust me, after my failed relationships with the Bride and Strawberry Shortcake, I devised this group for the broken hearted. We usually meet in a few different spots across town and there are always new and former members checking in and what-not. It's a great group. We're glad to have you Miss M.

Miss M: Yeah. This is great. Just great. Exactly what I need.

Up next!

Learn more about the broken hearted!


  1. Who is that hot blonde figure in the group at the end!? And, that is the Superman vehicle from the Super Powers line that Miss M is flying around in right? I always thought that was a ridiculous concept. Superman, needing to drive a flying vehicle!! Haha!
    I know you have been out of step with TV lately, but you MUST watch the episode of Arrow, called "Draw Back Your Bow" -it features the character from the Green Arrow comics "Cupid". A great character that I am sure you would love. Very much like the 1960's original version of Poison Ivy.
    And I personally would love to join the plastic hearts club! but we all know, the real reason M is miserable is because she is not with one man that she will always crave, the one man perfect for her! I will give you a clue, his name starts with an E and ends with a D. And he may represent the only example of a man you would want those letters to be associated with! ( Get it? Like, E.D!? Erectile Dysfunction !? I'm so funny right!? Well, I think I am, at least, and that's all that matters in the end! We must love ourselves!)
    Also , he may be the only man you ever meet who can get away with wearing a Panda costume without creeping you out!

    1. The blonde action figure is Princess Daphne from Dragon's Lair. That is also the Superman vehicle from the Super Powers line. lol I have been wanting to feature that for awhile now.

      I am behind on my super hero tv watching. I need to catch up. Cupid sounds really interesting. I also wish there was a way to get Ed back in the story. He is a really great love character for her. lol I also got the E.D. joke. Very funny. The plastic hearts club will hopefully continue to provide all kinds of funny stories in the coming months. I hope you have been doing well!

  2. Looks like you got your hands on one of those new Batman Animated figurines. I have never before been so jealous of an item in your collection!

    Room for one more in the broken hearts club?

    1. There is always room for more in the broken hearts club! lol I have so many plans for this story line. I hope it will be entertaining.

      And I love this Catwoman figure! She looks so cool! I just wish they had done a few changes to the sculpt. She can't really stand on her own. But I think she is still such a great figure.

    2. She can't stand her own? That takes away a big selling point. No wonder the big collector types keep these figures mint in box!

  3. at least toy miss m now is not alone with always being the other lady when it comes to love.first mikey now batman. should be interesting to see how she fits into the lonely hearts club. though don't recognize that one blonde with the antenas on the stand.

    1. Hey demoncat! The blonde is Princess Daphne from Dragon's Lair. She was released in the early 2000s I believe. Such a fun toy line for sure. Toy Miss M is not alone. I am hoping to bring in new toys and characters with this story.