Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Toy Chest Tuesday! April, The Ravishing Reporter!

Ok toy fans, we are approaching a new year. I can't believe December will be here in a couple days followed by the new year. The temperature has already started dropping and I have pulled out my semi winter best. It is also Tuesday, so you know what that means. Drum roll please... Toy Chest Tuesday! In my mind there are fireworks and explosions of joy that go off marking such an exciting day of the week. I have no life.

Anyways, let's look at what we have on tap today. Order your pizza now Turtle fans because we are looking at an April O'Neil variant from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles toyline by Playmates. Now there has been a debate raging in my head about whether this toy should actually be featured in a Trashy or Timeless post, but this toy could only be considered timeless. Hence the special honor of being a part of a Toy Chest Tuesday. So let's take a look!

Here we have the front package of April, The Ravishing Reporter.

 As you can see she is the gutsy news gal. There are cool pictures all around the package. April is throwing some ninja stars at Shredder saying, "Mess up my hair and die!" She has priorities. And she comes with real rooted hair. We'll get to her 'News Gatherin' Gear in a second. Let us instead look at April. She has a lot going on.

First of all I think she has been stuffing turtle shells in her top. And she is rockin the leather jacket and mini skirt combo. Of course nothing is as good as all the gawdy '90s jewelery. This gal does look a little Pretty Woman-esque, but isn't that part of the fun?  I'm sure if reporters looked like April more people would tune in to the news. Just imagine if news reporters were also trained to fight Foot Soldiers and evil? I would do my best to become a news reporter and kick butt live at five!

Another cool thing about this figure was that it marked the 5th Anniversary of Playmates Turtle toys! This April was all new for '92! Who would have thought that the 5th Anniversary of Turtle toys would see fans clamoring for a Ravishing Reporter April? Actually I don't know anyone that wanted this toy. I remember freaking out with the ultimate form of giddiness when I saw her. My original Ravishing April is living in the great big pink crate in my archival room, but I was lucky enough to find a mint one at my local comic store. For 7 dollars! Some would say I paid too much for this, but I think I got a deal of the century!

Let's move along and look at the back of the box:

There were all kinds of strange and fun characters to collect from the TNMT line.

Merdude seems like a lot of fun. I bet he would do his best to woo Mermista. I think she'd have more class than him, but who knows. Everyone needs love. Right? In terms of badguys, Groundchuck and Antrax are really cool. Everyone should want a giant red bull that looks like he was in the process of becoming a McDonalds menu item. I never really had all these characters, which is fine. I only collected the April variants anyway.

It is time for the Accessories Close-Up! This version of April came with some really ravishing items.

Those items included:
Ninja File Sai- Cut 'em or scratch 'em- she's got what it takes! (Yeah, to fight dirty! Catra would be so proud.)

Lipstick Nunchaku- For Foot-smackin' kisses! (Sounds kinky and kinda gross!)

Compact Ninja Star- It may be small, but it's just as lethal! (Or maybe it's Maybelline. Seriously, Maybelline needs to make one of these.)

Kowabunga Camera- For party pics and Foot focusin' fun! (It predates the digital camera!)

Katana Blade Curling Iron- When curly locks are as important as curled Foot toes! (I don't know what that means, but it sounds grody.)

Make-Up Brush Battle Bo- It's pretty powerful! (I think it should've read, 'It's pretty powderful.' That would have been infinitely cooler.)

This toy has got to have the coolest accessories! Right?

Now we move along to the final and arguably best part of the package, the bio card!

This bio card is a damn mess. I love how April has "Vital Babetistics." April's favorite headline is: Beauty Queen Chokes on Crown. That sounds like a good story just begging to be made into a comedy. Here is the thing I have an issue with though. Her weight is 99.9 lbs. wearing chains. There is just a whole lotta wrong with that. First of all if she were 99.9 lbs. Casey Jones would break her. Let's be real. So April, please eat a pizza for crying out loud!

Check out the actual bio. Here are some of my favorite quotes:

"She's got the power of the bob 'n weave- thanks to her real rooted hair." (Never underestimate the power of good hair.)

"It's bad news though, if this ravishing reporter hears a whistle in the wind from a flirtatious Foot fiend." (What?)

"She's got a detachable skirt that lets her kick low and high." (Hookas at the point ain't changed! That's all I got.)

So there ya go, April, the Ravishing Reporter! You gotta love her. Hope this Toy Chest sees you all well. I am off. Ebay is having a deal today where a seller can list 1,000 free items! I need to bring it. Momma needs to eat!

Monday, November 28, 2011

Stories of Ebay 2: Crazy White Girl Moments

Hello everyone. Let's talk Ebay shall we? It is no secret at all that I absolutely love Ebay. It is like one huge estate/garage sale except you don't have to actually walk through someone's smelly hoarded house. I love it. One month can find a coveted item for sale at astronomical prices and a mere couple months later that same item can be sold for pennies. There is nothing better.

Now for those you have been reading, I also have taken a whirl at selling some of my crap. I am proud of my business savvy skills and have even included certain vignettes on particular items. I like to think of it as taking the whole shopping experience to a more personal level. This concept is not new, and I have to say, I really like it when other buyers mention a nice little story too.

However sometimes personal stories can just go awry. Take for instance something I read earlier. While perusing for gift ides (and maybe a little something for myself) I came across a fabulous item. However after reading the description I found out that the seller was selling her aunt's toy and doll collection. Apparantly the seller's aunt has been an avid toy and doll collector for 50+ years and unfortunately was placed into assisted living. The aunt could not bring her collection with her and everything she has collected is now up for auction.

Can I just say my heart started beating so fast. I broke into a sweat and swear I felt hives form on my wrists and thighs. What a sad and terrifying story! I have been freaking out. That poor aunt! She had to say good bye to everything. I already have issues with aging, but after this Ebay story, well my goodness! I don't know how I will ever be able to part with She-Ra when I have no other choice but to move into some assisted living place! How dare the fates do that to me! Don't they know who I am?

This can't be a sign of things to come. I can just see it now, I'll be some old loony woman getting wheeled out of my mansion by ungrateful children into some nursing home where I'll have to fend off ancient horny toad men. All the while weeping about what will happen to She-Ra and Mermista. Goodness it just sounds so dreadful. I sometimes wish I wasn't genetically predisposed to collecting things. It really is a stressful life issue to have.

Ya know, the ancient Egyptians were really on to something. The whole being buried in a pyramid with all your worldly possessions isn't such a bad deal. I would love to have my own pyramid where my afterlife spirit could stop by every now and then to simply admire all of my addictive collecting habits on display. It would be so cool.

Who am I kidding? There are worse things in life and I really should not be having some crazy white girl moment. I just felt so sad for the aunt. You spend your whole life dedicated to something and at the very end none of it matters. Your last years are spent eating soft foods and being seen as someone who can't do anything on your own. It is depressing. At that stage in life you should be surrounded by your loved items. Of course when I am cautiously approaching 90 I might be ready to be rid of all my crap anyway. Though I highly doubt it. Genetically predisposed collecting habits are with you for life!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Thanksgiving blues

Oh readers, what can I say? Thanksgiving was on Thursday and I believe I have practically been breathing in calories the entire week. What has the world been coming to? I just have to say I really dislike all the good food in this world being unhealthy. It just isn't right! If only there was some way that apple pie and butter could actually be healthy...

Anyways Thanksgiving is an interesting holiday. It is one surrounded by food and I have been blessed with a family that knows how to cook. I always laugh when someone asks me if I will be the one cooking for Thanksgiving. Hardly. People want to enjoy a good meal, not fear that they may be poisoned. I am only good at a few things in this world: Shopping as a serious sport. Applying red lipstick. And knowing a decent number of She-Ra factoids. That's all folks.

I had a nice Thanksgiving this year. I enjoyed spending time with my family, though I must admit I missed my brother terribly. He was unable to be in town for the holiday, but he was there in spirit. I am also glad to announce that my knees did not swell one bit like the great Thanksgiving of '05! I was very thankful for that.

Another thing i was thankful for was that none of us went shopping on Thanksgiving, aka Black Friday Eve. I am so glad I was not mauled at the mall. Thoughts go out to those who were pepper sprayed, trampled, and hit hard over a plasma. (Spoiler alert, plasma televisions are sooo three years ago!) This Black Friday business is a mess. Once upon a time it was just Black Friday. Now it seems like it is Black Friday Week. What's next, the whole month of November will be dedicated to wielding weapons at each other in Wal-Mart?

The day before Thanksgiving was an eye opener for me. I decided to stop by Best Buy to look for some gift ideas for the holiday season. I figured that my life would be safe because it was only Wednesday, surely the manic shopping masses would be at home plotting their quest for shopping domination in the comfort of their pajamas. Right? Well low and behold I saw a line of people already camped out in front of the electronics mega store. Call me a sheltered mess but I had never seen anything like this in person. True there are those crazy news reporters that will visit a local store and interview some early bird Black Friday shoppers/campers, but I never expected to see this all on a Wednesday.

People had nice dining tables and lawn chairs lined up against the wall outside. Some even had tents set up. How is this legal? I'm sorry but if the local homeless guy under the bridge started living outside the Best Buy in a tent he'd be arrested. I am so confused about how a group of people can literally live outside of a store on cold concrete for three days. How do they shower or use the restroom? What do they do for food? How do they sleep outside all night next to a store? What about the parents I saw with their children? Is it normal to have your rugrats living outside of a store for three days? It boggles my mind. (And this is coming from someone who lives for shopping.)

Moving along. Aside from my family there is one other thing I love about Thanksgiving. My stories. Soaps have always held a long tradition of having great episodes dedicated to the joining of family and drama and capturing all of that in a nice hour. This year the tv schedule was a little lighter with All My Children off the air, but thank goodness I still have One Life to Live. This year's Thanksgiving episode was truly a magnificent show. I will never understand why more people aren't hooked on this soap, it is the best. Anyways I watched it with a heavy heart, more so because on Thanksgiving I also found out the shocking news that All My Children and One Life to Live would not be continuing online as previously discussed by Prospect Park.

That's right soap fans, Prospect Park, the company involved with bringing the soaps to a new online channel have ceased all talks and negotiations to continue these shows. Looks like this was the last Thanksgiving ever in Llanview. My heart is just broken. I keep waiting for Prospect Park to say, "Psych! We're just messin with ya soap fans! AMC and OLTL will be sticking around for a lot longer!" I mean these shows have been on for over 40 years each, there is clearly more story to tell!

What makes this story even worse is that AMC had to rewrite the original ending. Prospect Park asked for a new ending, so the AMC writers scrambled to write a huge cliffhanger series finale so that fans would want to continue watching the show online. Now with this latest development I am wishing they had stuck with the original ending. Now fans will never know who was shot. They'll never know the other person that David was still keeping alive. And we will never find out the fate of Erica and Jackson. All of this feels like the sting of an Erica Kane special. Right across the face, not once, but twice. And on both cheeks to boot.

I am really sad about this. I know it sounds silly, but if you have been reading this silly site of mine than you know how important my soaps are. Nothing is better than a good soap opera. Nothing. Not even Once Upon a Time.

On a good note, I am not going anywhere! For better or worse, this crazt dorkette is going to continue posting ramblings and other inner workings of the dork world. I've got some good stuff coming up. There is the long awaited continuation of the Jem Reunion. I need to tell you all about my Fear Street real life story. And I got a little something special in the mail the other day, so get ready for a nice little entry on the one and only, She-Ra! It's about to get even dorkier!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Toy Chest Tuesday! Alien Resurrection's Ripley!

Hello toy fans! It is time for yet another edition of Toy Chest Tuesday! This week's Toy Chest is a fun one. I have long loved science fiction and horror movies. The Alien films have managed to combine both of those elements, among a few others, to really create some fantastic movies. Growing up the Alien creature (also called a Xenomorph) was truly creepy. The whole concept of the Alien movies completely freaked me out. Being stuck in space with creeptastic looking creatures? Umm no thanks, I'd rather deal with zombies. Growing up I loved Alien and Aliens and would rent them at the local video store a couple times a year. Anyone remember how cool the local video store was before everything became a Blockbuster and eventually Netflix? Damn changing times.

Of course I felt real hip and cool when I went to see Alien 3 in theaters. I had been too young to see Aliens when it was released (and I wasn't even born when Alien hatched in front of audiences), but I felt so cool walking into Alien 3 with my friend. My mom went with us because we weren't 17 at the time, which should technically be totally uncool. Nonetheless I still felt cool! I was watching Sigourney Weaver kicking total xenomorph butt and the whole time I was like, "If I were stuck in space with an Alien trying to kill me, I'd hope to do it with as much awesomeness as her." Clearly we know that wouldn't be true because I don't think I'd survive running from an Alien in skyscraper stilettos.

Then there was Alien Resurrection, which I missed in theaters on account that my friends in high school went without me. I wouldn't end up seeing AR until it was available for rent. I actually really hated the fourth Alien film, and even wrote a scathing review about it on my old blog. However in retrospect I was merely having a white girl moment for being upset that my friends originally went without me. After watching the movie a couple more times it wasn't that bad. There were parts that I really liked! Who knew a swimming Alien could be such a threat? Now if only there had been a scene of synchronized swimming Aliens...

What made the film even better was the accompanying toyline! Actually the Alien Ressurection toyline was not the first set of Alien toys. Kenner had released a really cool line of Alien figures in the early '90s that was based off of an Alien vs. Predator video game. This toyline was so cool to me. At that time, dorky folk couldn't go to the store and find toys based off of their favorite scary sci-fi films. At least to my knowledge. I realize there was an old Alien toy from the late '70s, but seriously I don't recall there being a time in the early '90s where a popular line was tackling characters from scary movies.

Needless to say having Alien toys was so cool. I think every girl grows up and dreams of owning her very own Ripley and Alien Queen. I mean how else can one reinterprate the great classic stories of the past? Actually owning the Alien toys probably helped deter me from having a love life by at least ten years or so. Anyways I will not be showing you all the Alien toys from Kenner. Those fun toys are in a big pink plastic crate in my archival room. However we will look at the line Kenner did for Alien Resurrection.

Behold, Ripley!
Here is Ripley and the box she came in. She is planning on going to the gun show.

Here is the back of the box. There were some cool offerings for this line:

Warrior Alien- Drone to the Alien queen
Call- Mechanic of the Betty Ship (a cool Winona Ryder)
Newborn Alien- Genetic human/Alien hybrid
Battle Scarred Alien- Combat ravaged warrior drone
Ripley- Warrant officer, Alien behavioral expert
Aqua Alien- Genetically enhanced aquatic Alien

Ripley facing off with a hatching face hugger! (It is common knowledge that Face Huggers like to hang out in plastic heart bangles!)

Better watch out Ripley!

Ripley came with two weapons, a face hugger hatching out of an egg and an Alien. By looking at this figure, which was made in 1997, we can really see how far action figures have come. I would love to see some updated highly articulated Alien toys from Hasbro. That would be so much fun! Wouldn't it?  

Now I am sure some of you are wondering, "Miss M, why on Etheria are you so thrilled about Ripley?" Here is the thing, I really grew up looking up to Sigourney Weaver's Ripley. When watching those films, I felt that I could be a real badass too. Honestly, I was the furthest thing from a badass chick back then. I was one of those goofy awkward girls. I mean Sigourney almost made me want to shave my hair when Alien 3 came out. I realize I'll never have the chance to tell Sigourney how cool she is. Or even let her know that her role in Gorillas in the Mist was truly gut wrenching. Seriously, I can't watch that movie without breaking down. So anyways, having Ripley is like owning a piece of the excitement that is those Alien films.

That is about it for this week's Toy Chest! I hope all you folks are doing well! This week has been Stretchy Dress Week for me as I prepare to deal with Thanksgiving. Let's just hope this year won't see me with swollen knees from too much sodium intake like the Great Thanksgiving of '05. Truly a hot mess.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Bring it back: Moondreamers

It seems like in this day and age anything that was once old is rebooted, reinvented, or reissued again. These tactics are far from new. I think of it as a circular marketing process that will continue to happen for many more years to come. However I am always curious how certain brands and toy lines get a come back while other things stay buried in our nostalgic minds. I realize there are many reasons that this happens and could range from how many people are interested in the item's return all the way to licensing issues delaying any possible release.

I wish everything could have a come back, that way I wouldn't need to balk at the ridiculous Ebay prices for those certain mint favorites. Some vintage mint items are just out of control. As much as I would love to own a mint Princess of Power Spinnerella, I do not have a thousand dollars to drop. Momma needs to eat.

Anyways growing up I was very close with a neighbor that was like a cousin. We weren't blood related, but her uncle married my aunt, so I guess that makes us family friends once removed divided by the square root of a third cousin, plus a letter. You all know math is lost on me.

So this "cousin" was just awesome. She was a few years older than me, so we played with the same toys and watched the same cartoons but she was also getting to an age where I was learning about all kinds of cool older-kid things, like the Babysitter's Club books and the Freddy Krueger films. I also learned from her about Moondreamers. Now I had watched the cartoon so I was slightly familiar with Moondreamers, but it took seeing my cousin's collection that really had me wanting some Moondreamers! Their hair glowed in the dark!

The basic premise of the show was that a group of celestial people (residing in Starry Up) helped dish out dreams to the children of Earth. Totally blows Freud's dream theories out of the water. Anyways, the Moondreamers helped build dreams (by way of the Dream Machine) and the whole works. It was a very imaginative, if shortlived, show. Of course there was a villain, her name was Queen Scowlene. She never sleeps and her purpose was to destroy the dreams of children and keep them awake at night by using her nightmare crystals. Scowlene sounds like a bitter new age hippy that just needed an Ambien. Pop one of those and just call it a day Scowlene, jeez!

Queen Scowlene also had the help of her daughter, Scowlette, and these little creatures that were called Sleep Creeps. They looked like bits of the moon and they did everything in their power to give kids nightmares. Where are more shows like this these days? I feel like the '80s really went all out in creating imaginative and off the wall cartoons. Of course I may be a bit biased.

After seeing how cool my cousin's Moondreamers were with their sparkly metallic clothes and glow in the dark fringe, I was hooked. Sadly by the time I was ready to jump on the Moondreamers bandwagon all that was really left on the shelves was Queen Scowlene and the Sleep Creeps. (The show and toyline ended faster than Kim K's marriage.) Anyways I am the proud owner of Queen Scowlene and a Sleep Creep. Yay. At first I was annoyed that I had to own yet another old evil looking woman, until I realized that Queen Scowlene and Sour Grapes could totally find a way to have world domination!

Flash forward to the presnt and my dreams have not been dashed yet! Thanks to the advent of Ebay, I manageed to win a nice new paper doll Moondreamers book. (Good luck buying any mint Moondreamers, those dolls are pricey and will sadly live on in our dreams.) Luckily the unpunched Moondreamer book was really inexpensive. I love those Ebay bids when no one else fights you for it, and things end up costing like a couple dollars. Really good stuff.

Let's take a look at the characters!

Here is the cover containing the Moondreamers all together on their floating bed ship called the Dream-along Drifter. They actually look like some New Wave band. Watch out Jem and the Holograms! 

Crystal Starr was the main character. Her name reminds me of a fast food restaurant chain or something. As her name implies, she deals with stars. More importantly she makes them.  

Bucky Buckaroo rides comets. He is also the only boy Moondreamer. From my understanding of his character he is like a celestial cowboy. Instead of roping in cows and what-not he is busy wrangling comets, stars, and other space hoopla.

Dozer was a Snoozer (there were three in all) and he helped the Moondreamers. The Snoozer's roles were to help kids sleep and stop the Sleep Creeps. Dozer blocked awful Sleep Creep sounds by putting on ear muffs! Sounds like a smart thing to do.

Dream Gazer from what I have read is the oldest Moondreamer. She is also filled with mystery and knows stuff, a lot of cosmic stuff. The whole business of her character reminds me of Layla Miller from X-Factor.

Whimzee is all about designing the perfect dreams for kids. Imagination is her tool of choice, which she wields perfectly. I like Whimzee and how her greatest power is her imagination. I wish that was all I needed to focus on, harnessing my imagination to help the world. How cool would that be?

Here is Sparky Dreamer. Before I address Sparky, can I just say this looks like Pizzazz before she became the messy loud mouth lead singer to the Misfits. Does anyone else see that? And how fun are her star glasses? Tacky, but I love them. As you might've guessed, Sparky Dreamer is the brainy smarty pants of the Moondreamers. The Dream Machine was built by her as well. I love that most "brainy" cartoon characters always wear glasses, as if to say, "My brain may be smart, but my eyes suck." Where are the ditsy moron characters that also happen to wear glasses? Spoiler alert: dumb people can wear glasses too.  

Here we have Squawker, a Sleep Creep! Doesn't that thing look like a creep? Actually she looks like she could be related to that egg spitting Birdo creature from Super Mario Bros. 2. Squawker also has some messed up snaggle teeth. Her role as a Sleep Creep was to be really loud with a megaphone, waking up children everywhere. I love how tacky Squawker is as a Sleep Creep. Could you just imagine this awful looking thing running around with a megaphone? Worse than a roach I bet. 

Here we have Scowlene. Isn't she a mess? Scowlene is cranky and bitter because she can't sleep. It looks like there are creatures living in her gown, which I think are actually the Sleep Creeps (now that is truly creepy.) There is also a tiny creature called a Yawny living in her hair. This Yawny thing is always pinching her awake whenever she gets tired at night. No wonder she can't sleep, she's essentially got lice. I'd be cranky too if I had critters in my hair and snaggle tooth creeps campin' out in my nightgown.

Below are the remaining pages of the book that contain all the various paper doll outfits for the Moondreamers! Behold the tacky celestial fashions that have me hoping and dreaming for this line to return! 

I really get a kick out of the space cowboy clothes for Bucky. I can't get over what a strange combination that is. I wonder if Bucky Buckaroo hangs out with Col. Bluegrass from the Silverhawks?

Anyways, I digress. There were plenty other characters that were a part of the Moondreamers line. I wish the show and dolls had actually lasted long enough to register on most people's minds. Moondreamers was truly a blink and you'll miss toy line, very few people recall them. The chances of Hasbro revisiting this property are likely slim to none, which is sad because there is so much that Hasbro could do. Who wouldn't want to see cool dolls in metallic fashions with hair that glows in the dark? Sign me up and call it a dream come true!

Until next time folks, good night! Sleep tight. Don't let the Sleep Creeps bite! (I couldn't resist.)

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Trashy or Timeless? Michelle McCool

Ok toy fans, welcome to another edition of Trashy or Timeless!! Before we get to the toy let's discuss toy scandals. As Pizzazz would say, I love a scandal. Especially a nice juicy toy scandal. Toys have been causing controversy forever. Many parents and their various parenting police groups run around freaking out about anything that might rot their children's brains. So let's take a brief walk down History Lane to look at some of my favorite and truly scandalous toys. Spoiler alert: Barbie racks up a few.

1. He-Man and She-Ra- the two most powerful siblings in the universe caused a commotion in the '80s with certain parents. The complaint was that the highly popular Masters of the Universe and Princess of Power cartoons were essentially 30 minute commercials for Mattel's hugely successful toylines. Many parents felt that Mattel was using propaganda tactics disguised as a toon to sell stuff. Umm, duh? Welcome to capitalism. What were we supposed to do back then, play pretend with dirt and sticks? Any cartoon worth its weight in awesomeness had to have a toyline attached with it. How else would the cartoons live on once the television was turned off?

2. Rollerblade Barbie (1992)- This Barbie doll's rollerblades were sparkling, creating a flicker spark when rolled on a hard flat surface. Well needless to say the sparks were a fire hazard after a child had her faced burned by the rollerblades. I am still not sure if that story was some toy urban legend or if it actually occured. Either away amidst calls for reform, Mattel changed Barbie's dangerous rollerblades and all was well with the world.

3. Teen Talk! Barbie (1992)- '92 was a bad year for Barbie. On top of having to deal with rollerblades that burned children's faces, Barbie caused some drama when she uttered the phrase "Math class is tough." Teen Talk! Barbie had a button on her back, that when pressed, spoke a few phrases. Now a talking Barbie was not a new concept, Mattel had made various versions before. However having Barbie speak a stereotypical phrase about math being tough caused a major backlash with parents. I just have to say, "Really?" I mean not to sound dumb, but math is tough. I have struggled with math for years. My goodness I went through, like, three remedial math courses in college. When an equation starts allowing letters to stand in for numbers, something is just wrong. I mean give me a break. Physics, calculus, geometry. Go play in the street math! I get it isn't right to stereotype math being hard for girls (I had plenty of girl friends that thought math was a breeze) but let's be real, math is kinda tough. For those that find it easy, I am highly jealous.

4. Teletubbies, Tinky Winky (1999)- How could anyone forget this? Poor Tinky Winky was dragged out of the closet by Jerry Fallwell and some parents were scandalized that a large purple looking creature carrying a bag was preparing to turn every living creature gay. Sometimes life gets way too strange. I was clearly way past the age demographic for this show when it aired, but I do recall the controversy it caused. What were we all thinking in '99? I realize that most of us could have cared less, but there were parents absolutely terrified to buy their child a Tinky Winky. What is a Teletubby anyway? How could something that looks like an alien promote homosexuality? That was just a really weird time. Maybe it was the impending countdown to the millenium that had everyone on edge and acting coo-coo-crazy over something so silly.

5. Barbie Basics, Model No. 10 (2009)- Barbie Basics first came out in 2009 and were aimed for the adult collector market. The dolls were associated with the Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA) and corresponded with accessory sets. The basic idea was for the owner to accessorize their Barbie Basics doll and create all kinds of fashionable looks. Anyways, Model No. 10 was wearing a low plunging neckline dress that had many parents calling foul. In fact there was such an outcry with this doll's chest exposure that there was a call to ban the doll from stores. Since the line was made for adults, she got to stay at the party and not be forced out. And yes, I totally have this doll. I bought her before there was even a hint of controversy, and I'm glad I did! She could become a highly sought after doll!

So anyways, I love toy scandals! Of course there are many other toys that have caused an uproar for parents. Sometimes these scandals make sense (fire hazard rollerbades are never a good thing) and other times I think people need to just chill out. With that all said, let's look at our Trashy or Timeless toy, the WWE's Michelle McCool.

We all know about how cool I think female wrestling figures are. And Michelle McCool truly lives up to her name. First of all she is decked out in a nice shade of blue. Female wrestling toys rarely wear blue. They are usualy paired in pinks, purples, or some black/red combo. Secondly Ms. McCool is able to pose in a fun "Talk to the hand" kind of way:

Also, look at her face. She could almost be a toy ringer for Courtney Love. Am I crazy? I totally see Courtney love though, in the face!

Now I don't know much about Michelle McCool except that she is Christian, retired from the WWE, and married the Undertaker. Who would have ever thought that the Undertaker would get married? And to a living breathing woman at that! I always kind of assumed he'd marry like an undead zombie woman. I mean he is the Undertaker.

Anyways, so why are we asking if this toy is trashy or timeless? Well here is the thing, let's look at the picture below:

Ever since Madonna and all her shenanigans graced pop culture we technically should no longer be surprised by things, but I have to say I did not know what to think about Michelle McCool and her strategically placed crosses. Why does she have a cross between her ta-tas and on her crotch? Is she wrestling for Jesus? Or is there some new movement for wrestlers to reinact the Crusades? I'm just trying to figure it out. Of course cross-bedazzled Michelle McCool will never have to worry about a vampire trying to hook up with her. Eat that Edward.

I think the biggest thing for me though is that I feel like this should be upsetting a lot of coo-coo-crazy parents. Like where are the outraged conservative parental groups that are freaking out about a toy with a cross on her crotch? I mean hello! This toy is primed and ready for a toy scandal all her own, but there is nothing! Zip. Nada. I don't get it. People freak out when a Barbie doll wears a low cut dress but no one says a peep about a scantily clad woman decked out with crosses hanging out near her junk. What is up with the world?

I feel like Michelle McCool should be trashy, right? I mean how do you set yourself up for a scandal but deliver nothing? That alone should be the nail in the coffin of trashiness. You have to bring it or you have to just go home. Do you smell what Miss M is cooking? Ms. McCool simply could not bring it. So in effect she should win the trashy title and be voted out of the ring.

However, there are some other things going for her besides her lack of fulfilling a true toy scandal. She knows how to give good pose to a cheesy '90s saying. The word 'cool' is a part of her name, and she married the Undertaker! I would have loved to have seen that wedding, can you just imagine? I love it! So Michelle McCool narrowly escapes the trashy title and is totally timeless! Because I am certain that I will be complaining about the lack of a scandal with this toy for many years to come!


Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Toy Chest Tuesday! Best of...

Ok toy fans! According to my math (and I hope my math is good) this is my 50th post! What better way to celebrate such a fun occassion than looking back at some of my favorite toys! This is actually a difficult post to make because pretty much everything I own is my favorite. However i will do my very best.

First is Masquerade, from My Little Pony! This lovely My Little Pony belonged to the Twinkle Eye Ponies which came out during the fourth year of the Generation 1 Ponies. They had sparkly gems for eyes, streaked hair in all kinds of colors, and a rainbow comb. I even think they came with a sticker of some sort, either way they were super fun!

I know nothing of Masquerade's character, only that she was a yellow pegasus with masks for her symbol. This was my first pony, and I remember having such a difficult time picking my first My Little Pony! I wanted a pretty pink one, but there was something so cool about Masquerade that I swore off wanting something in my signature color and picked the yellow Pony instead!

Looking back now the twinkle eye aspect of the toy is actually kinda creepy. I mean who would really want sparkly gemstones for eyes? That just creeps me out. How do you even see? It gives me a headache just thinking about it. 

 Next up is from the fun toys by Galoob called Sweet Secrets. These toys were a girl's answer to Transformers. Granted many girls loved Transformers just as much as any boy, but Sweet Secrets was so much fun. This Sweet Secret was from the Rock 'n Lockets line where certain musical instruments turned into punky new wave looking people. They also could be worn as bracelets and each Rock 'n Locket actually played music!
This Sweet Secrets name is Tickle A. Keyboard. I have no idea if her music can still play, but how we reunited was very interesting. I have long searched for this old toy, for far too long. This story occured a few years ago. I was helping my mom in the kitchen. We were going through the kitchen cabinets and trying to find old antique plates and all kinds of other stuff on the very top kitchen shelves that had not been used in a long while. Well I was taking some old plates down and low and behold, Miss Keyboard was just loungin around on a plate!

Apparantly ages ago I did something incredibly rotton to annoy my mom and as punishment she took the Sweet Secret and placed her in the cabinet! Well we both forgot about her when I finally decided to act better! Who would have thought I'd find her so many years later? This makes me wonder what else I owned that got taken away and hidden somewhere! What a mess. The saddest thing of all is that I have so much old crap that there is no telling where everything could actually be.

 Moving along we are going to take a nice look at probably one of my favorite Princess of Power toys ever. Mermista! I loved this toy so much. I still do, even if her hair looks tore up. And maybe her head broke off and is now super glued on, but whatever! The toy is still good! I worked a deal by using bribery on my parents for this one. Here is the thing about me, when you grow up idolizing Erica Kane you learn how to master the arts of blackmail, bribery, and anything else I needed to know about getting my way at the age of 4. What do you expect? I really needed a Mermista!

She came with removeable fins that you could slide on her to turn her into her mermaid form. I loved that a toy could do that! Like I have mentioned before, I have always loved mermaids. Mermista also came with a little seashell piece that attached to her back. When filled with water the seashell would squirt a blast of water from the necklace around her neck. I mean I don't know how powerful that would be against Hordak, but in my She-Ra fanfic Mermista is one of the most powerful members of the Great Rebellion! I'm a dorkette that keeps it real!

 Our last toy is another "first." This is Day-to-Night Barbie, my first Barbie doll! Now I know this seems odd, but the pictures of the doll below are not the actual Day-to-Night Barbie I owned as a kid. That doll is in my archival room sporting a newer outfit. (I may be real dorky, but I wasn't keeping my stuff mint back in the day.) Anyways I came across this doll by chance really. I had bought some vintage Astronaut Barbie dolls from a seller on Ebay. The dolls were mint and looked perfect, even the descriptions had nice things to say.

What I ended up getting though was a hot mess. The dolls smelled so bad, they were hardly in the condition that the seller had described. I had the option of returning the items, but I just kept them. I threw the packaging away and thoroughly washed everything. It worked, everything ended up somewhat well with the world.

So I was incredibly nice to the seller. I wanted to get so mad and yell, what kind of person sells grody Barbie dolls like that!? Just eww. However I was friendly. Weeks after the whole experience went down, I received a package in the mail. This Day-to-Night Barbie doll. I had no idea why I was receiving this. For a second I thought I had maybe sleepwalked in the middle of the night and bought a Barbie doll on Ebay. I was really fearful that I was losing my mind or something.

The address on the package looked familair so I contacted the Ebay seller that sold me the Astronaut Barbie dolls. Sure enough she sent me the doll as a way of saying, "I'm sorry you had a crappy experience with my items." I thought that was very kind. I mean the box is kind've messed up, but nothing smells funky. I was really surprised by that. And people say kindness is dead. Ha!
Day-to-Night Barbie was awesome. She had her day clothes on, basically a nice pink office skirt suit. All that was needed next was to take the jacket off and flip the skirt around and Barbie had a fun night time look. I loved playing with this doll. I would always pretend she worked in some high rise office making deals and yelling at people. It was all very Knots Landing. I had so much fun.

The back of the box has seen better days. But you can see some of her fun night oufit. A total pink ensemble, the best! I mean I learned so many important lessons from this Barbie. Like how to wear something nice to work, only to remove a few articles after hours and be totally ready to look fun and flirty. I also learned that I should never dye my hair blonde. (I looked a hotter mess than those Astronaut Barbies) We all make mistakes though right?

Whew, what a long Toy Chest! Enjoy the pictures and keep it here! I think it has been awhile since we saw a Timeless or Trashy piece. It should be really good! I'm thinking we should look at another wrestling figure? Stay tuned!!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Ladies and gentlemen, start your stomachs!

Alright folks, here it is! The moment I address the item of gastronomic goodness that is (drum roll please) Country Crock Honey Spread! It is basically honey butter, but it isn't actual butter according to my loved ones. Anyways I have been obsessed with this stuff. It tastes so good. I spread it on some raisin cinnamon toast in the mornings, oh my goodness, it is like there is this explosion of happiness in my mouth. I can't get enough of it!

My mom isn't a fan. First of all she is a phenomenal cook and has the ability to make real homemade honey butter spread all on her own. I am also certain that what she could make would probably taste a thousand times better than Country Crock, but let me be honest: I don't cook. And I sure as heck am not going to try and make homemade honey butter spread. At all. The closest thing I get to cooking is a frozen pizza. Even my baked cakes come from a box. Somewhere Strawberry Shortcake is shedding a tear of disappointment.

Now word on the street is that Country Crock also has a Pumpkin Spice spread as well. Apparantly Country Crock has these limited edition holiday spreads every year around the holidays. How come I never knew about this? I mean this is just blasphemous. I grocery shop. I clip coupons. I should have known! I have failed the domestic gods. I won't get to become a member of the Stepford Program!

Anyways, even She-Ra and He-Man got into the spirit of special holiday treats.

Now in case you are wondering, yes, I took pictures with She-Ra and He-Man with Country Crock spread. My family and husband were there and were really concerned that I was losing my mind. Nothing could be further from the truth. I can't help that He-Man and She-Ra, the two most powerful people in the universe, were wanting some Country Crock Honey spread.

It doesn't matter at the end of the day. This stuff from Country Crock is fantastic. It gets the job done. I wonder what the two Country Crock voices would have to say about this Honey Spread. Remember those silly Country Crock commercials where you only saw the hands but heard the flirtatious banter of the couple over faux butter? Do they even make those anymore? If not they need to bring them back, I'd like to see what the couple has been up to! Anyways before people start thinking I have really lost it, I am off!

Keep it back here and often, there are some fun things coming up this week!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Snow White and the Huntsman trailer, check it out!

Ok so I know I am supposed to be sharing with you all about the joys of a particular food item I am lusting over right now, but I promise I will get to that later. There are bigger things to discuss right now. Forget vampires or zombies, the next big thing is going to be fairy tales. I just know it! If not, I will humbly eat some pie from Huckleberry and Strawberry Shortcake.

Check out the trailer for Snow White and the Huntsman, out this summer-

Snow White trailer

Amazing isn't it? I am freaking out about this movie. I mean for one, we have the answer to what Kristen Stewart is going to do with her career after the Twilight stuff is over. Homegirl needs to stick with fantasy inspired stuff. She looks badass in some armor wielding a sword. And casting Chris Hemsworth as the Huntsman is just perfect! (Now if they could just cast Thor as He-Man in a new live action movie, all would be well with the world.)

My excitement though for this movie actually lies with Charlize Theron. A fairy tale is only as good as the villain in it, and Miss Dior J'adore is killing it as the Evil Queen. I have never been the biggest fan of the Snow White story, I always thought Snow White was a bit common (I grew up with a mom who liked Cinderella more.) Personally I have always loved The Little Mermaid. Growing up I wanted nothing more than to be able to live under water. What a perfect way to escape from all the land dwellers and their drama. I'd have a hard time finding something to eat though, but I'm sure King Triton could easily install a swim through McDonalds or something.

Anyways I have always loved the Evil Queen from Snow White. I have so much in common with the villainess. We both want to stay young and pretty forever. We both talk to mirrors. And we enjoy apples for all their wonderful uses. Of course if the Evil Queen had actually lived in the present day, she wouldn't have to go through such extremes to stay young. Sucking the youth from someone seems hard and unnecessary. She'd just need to find a good dermatologist with an aresenal of needles and chemicals. She'd be as good as new.

This movie just looks fantastic. Visually the scenes and costumes all look amazing. I love the mirror and the movement, not at all what I would have expected! I am also interested to know more about the story. I understand there is only so many ways to interpret a fairy tale that we all know, however this film looks like it will have its own unique spin to the Snow White mythology.

But wait there's more! As in another Snow White movie coming out in March! Two Snow White movies in the same year that both seem interesting? Yes please, sign me up! While we're at it let's see some other fairy tale stories get a nice updated look. I would love for a cool live action Little Mermaid film, though I have no clue how that would work. But it would have to have the original ending.

So enjoy the trailer again, because I have! Also here is the hint about the food I will be addressing soon: It is spreadable!   

Thursday, November 10, 2011

I was dancing with myself...

Oh, Oh, Oh-oh. Oh Billy Idol, how cool are you? I actually wish I was friends with Billy Idol. Don't you? I mean it would just be a blast to hang out with Billy Idol. Having conversations about whatever kinds of things a person would converse about with Billy Idol. I personally think we'd have serious talks about Jem and the Holograms. Let's think about it, Billy Idol would totally have hooked up with Pizzazz and maybe even Jetta. Roxy always seemed like she'd be the one to mug down with Bret Michaels. And Stormer, well come on. We all know Stormer would end up being too delicate for a rocker. She always struck me as someone who'd settle down with a Kenny G type.

Anyways I am rambling on way too much about nonsense. My real purpose is to discuss angels. Not Charlie's Angels, may that reboot rest in peace. I am referring to Victoria's Secret Angels. So every year there is some new holiday commercial involving skinny heifers frolicking in some abandoned mansion or lonely fancy park. (You'd think they were posing for the next Fear Street novel or something.) Anyways this year I have fallen in love with the latest holiday commercial.

Click below to view the commercial on Youtube (spoiler alert- don't view this at work, I have no idea what all your jobs think of supermodel angels prancing around like reindeer on your computer screen. But cheers to anyone who is bored enough to be reading this site while at work!)

Victoria's Secret Holiday commercial 2011

Now I am sure some of you are wondering, "Ok Miss M, why are you discussing this mess?" Well here is the deal. I am trying to raise the numbers of heterosexual male readers and by extension cool lesbian readers to this site. I think those are the two demographics that aren't interested in reading about all my crap. Actually that is a load of bullpoo, I have no idea about the demographics of who reads my site. And for the record, if I wanted to pull in readers from any type of demographic I wouldn't pull some silly Victoria's Secret commercial stunt! How lame would that be? 

So why do I like this commercial so much? It is the song. I love the song. For those who also love the song and are wondering, it is called Midnight City by M83. Thank you to the poster on Youtube who knew. I love cool congs from commercials or trailers to movies. Most of what plays on the radio these days is kinda eww. So it helps me feel young and flirty to hear fun new music on commercials. Part of the thrill is also finding out who the song is by and then getting it on iTunes for like next to nothing.

I just love this song. I have no idea who M83 are, but I love their song. In fact when no one is around (and by no one I mean my husband) I totally turn that song up and stalk the bedroom floor like I am on a runway. Look, I know I am pretty, but I will never be a supermodel. First of all I don't think my body can ever be a size 0. I would seriously need to remove some organs, shave down some of my hip bones, and hand my ass over to someone else. That is all too much work.

But on the inside I am a supermodel. I practice my supermodel walk. I give good face. I really do. So it is a blast. I love that time a person has when they are totally alone and can just be completely goofy. It is the best. I highly urge all of you to find a good song and just let your inner whatever out. Shake your hips. Drop it like it's hot. Hell, fist pump if you have to. Life is way too short. Act like a total dork! 

Now if only they'd release some Jem and Misfit songs on iTunes. That would be the coolest thing ever. Well not as cool as the She-Ra theme song on iTunes, but I can't get my way with everything now can I?

Also be on the look out, I found something new and tasty at the grocery store and there will be a write up on it! Start your stomachs folks!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Toy Chest Tuesday! Fright Features Janine Melnitz!

Hello toy fans! Toy Chest Tuesday is taking it far back. Really back. As in something I actually owned as a child and not some new-old toy I bought mint off of Ebay. We are looking at the Fright Features Janine Melnitz from Kenner's Real Ghostbusters toyline. Who you gonna call? Don't call me, I'm busy typin' a new Toy Chest!

So here is the story about Janine. To my knowledge this was the first Janine ever made. There were many Janine variants that followed after this one, and I believe I own them all. I remember practically dying when I saw this Janine on the toy shelves. She wears a pink jump suit! I love pink! I even owned two of these Fright Feature Janine figures I was that obsessed!

Let's take a closer look!

Here is Janine, in all her pink jumpsuit glory! I personally feel that I would look fantastic in a hot pink jump suit. I'd even take out my contacts and rock the heck out of some neon green glasses. Janine is just too much fun!

Here is a better look at Janine. If you look close enough something looks odd about her face. And I'm not referring to those green glasses. (For those in the know, we're getting there!)

See there is a reason why this Janine was part of the Fright Features collection! Whenever she sees something frightful, this is what happens!

Notice her eyes bulging and mouth open in shock! Even her hair pops up like an explosive bump-it! The trick rests in raising her arms up in the air, though my Janine is a bit old and busted. Only one arm actually stays up.

Here is a better shot of the fright feature in action. Real Ghostbuster toys were so much fun. They had spooky action features that made the toys stick out from the other toy lineups at the time. I never really had a lot of the male characters, just an Egon so Janine could have a boyfriend. And a Peter, because I always had a crush on Peter Venkman. The cartoon Peter Venkman, not the Bill Murray Peter Venkman.

Also this fun Janine Melnitz came with a purple ghost with a strip of hot pink hair. I loved the ghost almost as much as the hot pink jumpsuit. I have the ghost contained because she has gotten really sticky with age. (I really hope this isn't a sign of things to come for me.) Of course Janine came with a weapon that had a wavy comb-like design made to lift the ghost up by the strip of hair. For the life of me I can't recall the name of this piece. Hence why it didn't make an appearance in this Toy Chest. Either way, Janine is such a fun toy!

Alright toy lovers, I am off. I have been catching up on my television shows and I just have to say, Once Upon a Time is such a great show! I'm hooked to this show like a sweet tooth to bubble gum ice cream! Pam from True Blood plays Malificent! How cool is that? And the Evil Queen is just delicious, pure evil. I am also loving the fairy tale romance of Snow White and the amnesiac Prince Charming. (Granted I should be using the actor's real names, but just Imdb them if you have to know.) Go and record this show now! It is fantastic.

Slimer agrees!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Look at what I found! Rita Repulsa!!!

Hello toy fans! Remember when I said I found something pretty surprising in the toy aisle? Something that I did not even know was being made? So here is the scoop. I am usually on top of it with the workings of the toy world. I read my sites and talk with some of the best toy knowledge experts in the universe (go to PlanetOa.net to find out) so there is usually nothing that passes by me.

All of that changed last week when I was grocery shopping at Wal-Mart. I was seriously there for a few things, mostly a quick peek at the Halloween candy that was 50% off. I mean you can never have enough Kit Kats and Sweet Tarts ok? Anyways I decided to just take a brief walk down the toy aisles. I wasn't expecting to find anything, I was truly just wanting to look. I had no ulterior motives at all, I promise.

Once down the aisle I began perusing the pegs, almost as if I was in a nice library looking for a good book. While gazing over a few things, my eyes landed upon the Power Rangers Samurai toys. Something just seemed odd to me, though at the time my brain just wasn't registering correctly. I was used to seeing the usual Power Ranger suspects, the different colored Rangers and the typical badguy. However staring up at me was Rita Repulsa, cone bra and all. I was completely shocked.

After I picked my shocked jaw from the floor, I quickly grabbed Rita up and ran to the check out. The Power Rangers toy line has been like this before, they will release some extra rare character that they make no mention of. They truly believe in making a chase figure. Some toy companies make chase figures that you at least know exist. When Bandai makes a figure chase, they make that thing a chase. For those unsure what a chase figure is, here is my description- once you have a chase figure in hand, you have to run fast to buy it, because someone will be chasing after you for it. It's a rare toy. A diamond on a shelf full of peg warmers.

So let's look at some pictures!

Ok here is Rita in her package. For those that don't remember, Rita Repulsa was one of the main villains from the original Mighty Morphin Power Ranger series. I have no idea if she has come back in any way, shape, or form with the latest Power Rangers series. She was always loud and obnoxious though and every word that came out of her mouth was at a scream. Actually Rita looked like she was a leftover back up dancer from Madonna's Blonde Ambition tour. Her home was in a space dumpster and she always got headaches when she lost to the Power Rangers. I personally believe she suffered from the brew shakes. Everyone loved her.  

As you can see the back of her card makes no mention of Rita's existence. Can I just say as much fun as it is to find a chase figure, I actually dislike the whole idea of making a certain character super rare. It just seems unfair, because usually the rare character is one that a lot of people want. Or maybe just the hardcore dorkettes and dorks. I don't know. Either way I don't like it, even if I do usually find the stuff that is rare. Maybe I live in an area of the world where people just aren't dorky collectors like me. I would hate living in a dorky populated place. My goodness could you just imagine? There would be toy deals going down on every corner. Madness.

I had to open crazy Rita. I love how faithful they were to her cone bra and cone hair. My only gripe is that this toy was like 4 inches. I prefer things to be in a larger scale. Her face is so small that they gave her dots for eyes. That hardly seems fair. I'm gonna need Bandai to release a 6 inch detailed Rita Repulsa with crazy eyes and make-up please.

This is the back of her. Here is where I get confused. Is the gray stuff her hair, or like a long furry cape? I always assumed that her hair was all wrapped up in the cones. If that is her hair, I think Entrapta has some competition for "Best Use of Extensions in a Toy."

When Mighty Morphin Power Rangers first came out, it was an instant big deal. I liked them so much because the show reminded me of Voltron. My brother collected more Power Rangers stuff than me, but we both always hoped to see a Rita Repulsa on toy shelves. And now that wish has come true. He won't care much now because he gave up collecting toys like most normal people when he entered adolescence. However that wish coming true still means something to me. I may be cautiously approaching 30, but my inner child will never stop wanting fun crap.

Below is a picture of Rita Repulsa from the show, and I just have to say something: This is who Snooki will turn into when she gets old. Just look! I can totally see Jersey Shore's Snooki sporting a Rita Repulsa look in the far future. Or maybe the near future if Snooki keeps riding life so hard. I can see it though, and for that Snooki gets some dorkette points from me!

She just needs gray hair and some triangular bump-its, pop on a cone bra, and we have Snooki as Rita Repulsa! I love it! At the very least Snooki should maybe think of going as Rita for Halloween next year. How cool would that be? From one hot mess to another, she'd rock it.  
So toy fans, I am done for the day. Tomorrow's Toy Chest might be coming to you all a bit late, but have no fear, there will be one! Stay tuned and good luck finding whatever chase items are out there that set your heart a flame!