Diary of a Dorkette: All My Toys: 328

Previously on All My Toys,

Miss M has found herself torn. Her parents are criminals on the run! While a part of her wants to turn them in, another part simply wants to hold onto her familial connection for as long as she can. With the cops, and now the robbers that used to work for Big Boy on the hunt for the mob boss, M and her parents (with trusty family friend Itchy) head to the house M grew up in for a walk down memory lane. Unknown to them, Flattop and the Brow are brewing up trouble.

Toy Valley. The old neighborhood. A bright shimmery day.

Cruella: Oh Al! It looks the same. I'm amazed at how you have kept it up.

Big Boy Caprice: It looks good don't it?

Itchy: My favorite of your safe houses Big Boy.

Big Coy Caprice: Lotta memories here. What do you think baby?

Miss M: Yeah. A lot of memories. Some not so good.

Big Boy Caprice: Nah, you just focus on the bad stuff. Cheer up baby. We're home.

Miss M: This hasn't been my home since I was, what? Eleven or so?

Cruella: Darling, there's no need to be so angsty! You'd think we were dragging you to hell. Come on Al, let's go inside!

Big Boy Caprice: (grins) You'll love it. I kept it mostly the same. We gotta be quick though.

Itchy: Yeah. No need to raise suspicions.

Miss M: (groans) This is such a bad idea.

Toy Valley police station.

Dick Tracy: (looks up to the sounds of shuffling feet) Ah. Here to turn yourself in?

The Brow: Turn myself in? Nah. I haven't done anything wrong. (sneers) I'm an upstanding citizen.

Dick Tracy: Right. Except I seem to remember you were part of a group of thugs that tried to rough me up in a back alley.

The Brow: We kinda did. Until you got help from Batman. Then we got roughed up.

Dick Tracy: Tables turn. So, we do this the hard way then. I've got a real nice cell calling your name.

The Brow: I think what I have to say will overshadow your desire to arrest me. I've got information on Big Boy. (shrugs) I thought you'd like to know.

Dick Tracy: What's the catch?

The Brow: No catch. Some of us didn't enjoy working for Big Boy ya know? It's time he pay for his crimes. Time for the truth to come out.

Dick Tracy: (purses lips) Ok. I'm listening.

The Brow: Big Boy has been right here in Toy Valley. And get this, he's been with his ex, Cruella de Vil.

Dick Tracy: (eyes widen) What?!

The Brow: They've been staying with their daughter. Oh, what was his daughter's name? I can't remember. I never really met her. Surprised she's caught up in all this. I didn't know she was a part of the business.

Dick Tracy: (tries to compose himself) Umm, how do you know this?

The Brow: I saw them. We're all looking for Big Boy, ya see? And I remembered he had a daughter, so I went to see her. Make sure she was ok with her old man on the lamb. And wouldn't ya know, I caught them all leaving the house. Going on some sort of trip or something.

Dick Tracy: Did she seem in distress? The daughter? Her name is M.

The Brow: Come to think of it, she seemed just fine. I didn't want to disturb them. (nods) I figured the right thing would be to come here.

Dick Tracy: (smirks) I'm sure you have every intention of doing the right thing. Get out of my office. (dials M's number on speaker phone) Come on M. Pick up.

Miss M: Hi! This is M, I'm not here right now...

Dick Tracy hangs up.

Dick Tracy: Damn it. Where are you?

Back at the old neighborhood.

Miss M: And you're sure we aren't staying here long, right?

Cruella: What has gotten into you? Don't you want to see the old house? Your old room? You act like this is a haunted house or something.

Miss M: Isn't it?

Cruella: Ugh. Darling. I see where you get your streak of drama from.

Big Boy Caprice: From her mom. Heh heh.

Cruella: Oh Al!

Big Boy Caprice: (opens door) Come on, let's get inside.

Miss M: You coming Itchy?

Itchy: Nah kid. I'm keeping watch. Need to check and make sure no one is around.

Miss M: I can go with you. They can have their moment. I don't mind.

Itchy: Nah. Go be with your folks. Lotta memories here.

Miss M: (sighs) Yeah. That's what everyone keeps saying.

Cruella: Marvelous! Al! It hasn't changed one bit. I know I've lived in some magnificent palazzos in Italy, but I remember thinking this was a mansion back then.

Big Boy Caprice: We had good taste.

Cruella: Truly! We had no idea what we really had.

Miss M: (mumbles) Smells old in here.

Big Boy Caprice: That's the smell of history baby. Come on, always so moschino.

Miss M: I'm not moschino! (looks around) I never thought I'd be back here. It's like stepping into a time machine.

Cruella: Isn't it? Oh Al, this place. This was our home.

Big Boy Caprice: It really was. Oh we had some parties here didn't we?

Cruella: Oh the parties! All the food. And hard work. Oh darling. You're a good man Al.

Miss M: (traces her fingers across the stove) This place. Wow. Maybe I should see how Itchy is doing?

Big Boy Caprice: No, no. Look at this. The old pit. Remember those burgers I used to make that you loved M? What did you call them?

Miss M: Famous Amos.

Big Boy Caprice: That's right. Famous Amos. My baby loved her burgers. (pauses) How many do you want?

Young Miss M: (calling down from upstairs) I want four dad!

Past Big Boy Caprice: (laughs) Four?! My little Italian girl won't say no to a burger will she?

Past Cruella: Al! Do not make her four burgers! The other parents in the neighborhood are already making comments about her weight.

Past Big Boy Caprice: Eh, they're all just vecchia! She likes my cookin. Let her eat.

Young Miss M: It's ok dad. I'll just have one.

Past Big Boy Caprice: (Looks up with a wink) I'll make you two. Hurry up there, we'll be eating soon.

Miss M's heart begins to beat faster.

Miss M: I was so tan that year.

Young Miss M: I'll be down in a sec! I need to find my dolls and Godzilla!

Miss M: It feels like yesterday.

Past Big Boy Caprice: (downstairs) You need to leave her alone.

Past Cruella: I'm not trying to be mean Al. I want her to be careful. Kids are cruel.

Past Big Boy Caprice: Eh what do they know? I think this modeling world is getting to your head.

Past Cruella: Don't start with me.

There's loud bangs on the door.

Miss M pauses at the stairs, recalling the past as if it were happening in the present.

Young Miss M: Godzilla!? Where are you? (looks out the window) Hey. The police are here. Mom! Dad! The police are here!

Past Cruella: (downstairs) Don't open the door!

Big Boy Caprice: (downstairs) What? So they'll just barge in?!

Past Cruella: What did you do this time?! I don't even know why I married you!

Miss M grabs the railing, her hands shaking.

Taking a few deep breaths, Miss M slowly walks up.

Young Miss M: Mom! Dad!

Past Big Boy Caprice: (yelling) Don't come down here M! Stay up there!

Past Cruella: You can't come into our home! Al! Where are you taking him?! (cries out) What am I going to do?

Miss M: It's ok. It gets better. Eventually. Sort of. Does it ever get better?

Young Miss M: (watches the police arrest her father with tears streaming down her face) What is going on down there? (horrified) They're taking my dad!

Miss M stands there silently, recalling the past. Observing it. A cloak surrounding her. It's in the walls. The floor. The air.

Miss M: (sighs) I never should have come here.

Miss M: (peers closely outside) Hey. There are guys here.

Miss M: Mother! Dad!

Cruella: I think we should make the most of it, why not stop by the old carnival too? Just make a whole day of it?

Big Boy Caprice: You really think that's a good idea?

Cruella: Sure. No one will notice us. You know we don't have much time left. We can't run forever.

Big Boy Caprice: You're right.

Cruella: I'm always right. It's settled darling. We'll go to the park.

Miss M: I don't think it's safe here. There are two men outside. With really strange heads.

Itchy: Big Boy, we got a problem.

Cruella: Isn't there always a problem? I miss the days when my problems involved what I'd wear during fashion show season.

Big Boy Caprice: What is it?

Itchy: Brow. Flattop. They've made us.

Cruella: Is that a bad thing?

Big Boy Caprice: Come on, we sneak out the back. Itchy, drive us to the old amusement park by the piers.

Miss M: What?! Now is not the time for rides and hot dogs. Dad, what is going on?

Big Boy Caprice: Remember I told you there would be people after us? My people. Not the law. They're here. Which means there will be more. We can lose them at the amusement park. (smiles) Hey baby, I'll win you a stuffed animal ok?

Miss M: Dad. Do you ever get tired of this? When does it end?

Big Boy Caprice: I say when this ends, and no one else. I'm a lotta things, lotta bad things. But I love you and your mother. We're going to get through this. One last chance to make memories, eh?

Miss M: Or, we can just call the police. We can end this,

Big Boy Caprice: I won't let you see me get hauled off again. You think I didn't know you could see everything out that window when you were a kid? There is a way outta this.

Itchy: Big Boy, we need to leave.

Big Boy Caprice: (barks) I know, I know! (grabs M's hand) My sweet baby girl. I'll get us outta this. I promise.

Miss M: (closes eyes) Ok. Let's go.

Moments later,