Thursday, April 30, 2015

April 2015 Bodacious Baddie!

Dear Diary,

My goodness does it ever end? Ever since April O'Neil's grand ball I have just been so busy. My social calendar has been filled with dates. I've been working my behind off at the new offices. I'm also making time for friends from the Broken Hearts Toy Club. I've also got a really big secret. It's a huge secret. Something I have been keeping from everyone and I just want to share it with the world. Oh Diary, will I ever be able to tell everyone my truth? Maybe one day. For now, I have a dinner party to host.

-Miss M

Miss M: I am so glad we are all getting together for dinner.
Frankenberry: I know.

Jasmine: Thanks for inviting me.

Miss M: Of course. You are always more than welcome.

Irma: I thought Billy would be here?
Miss M: I haven't seen Billy since the ball.

Frankenberry: Yeah, I think he met someone at the ball. I know him, once he is caught up with a new fling he disappears for awhile.
Miss M: That's odd. We both made a deal we wouldn't fall on our old patterns...

Irma: Well he's having fun I'm sure. That's all that matters.

Guy Friday: Weren't you bringing a date M?
Irma: Yeah, I thought you were dating some street shark guy?

Miss M: Oh the lawyer. No, he isn't going to be here.

Irma: What happened? You two were dating for awhile.
Miss M: A little over a month. Yeah, I thought for sure something would happen between us, we had so much fun together.

Jasmine: What happened?

Miss M: He kept pressuring me for sex. I mean I'm far from a prude, but I'm also too old to be sleeping with someone who isn't sure if he can see being serious with me. He said he was looking for love, but then he changed his tune and said he didn't want friends nor did he want a booty call, and then it changed too, "You are the one lucky girl that would break my exception to having a friends with benefits type of arrangement." I don't want that ya know?

Guy Friday: Well there's nothing wrong with that. I thought that's why you girls had Sex and the City.

Irma: Oh sometimes I feel like you talk too much.

Miss M: Look I am all for folks wanting to have benefits in the friend department, but I did a lot of that in my early twenties. I want to be more than just a booty call. I mean do I look like booty call material?

Guy Friday: No not really. Girls with as much comics and toys as you are a lil too lame to be a booty call...

Irma: Oh my gawd! We really need to talk about inside thoughts!
Guy Friday: Sorry.

Miss M: It's ok. I'm still continuing my search for the guy that will want to enjoy me in his life for all the things.

Frankenberry: That's the spirit.
Miss M: So, is April coming?

Irma: I don't think so. April said something about some top secret thing she was doing with the Turtles...

Miss M: Oh. I wonder what that could be?

Meanwhile, across town...

April: Are you sure we are working on the best information?

Leonardo: Yes. This is where we need to be.

Raphael: I don't know Leo, this almost feels too easy.

Donatello: According to my detection device, we are the only ones here.

Michelangelo: There ya go. Now can we finish this so we can go home and order some pizzas? Mona Lisa is waiting on standby to place our orders.

April: I just want to make sure we are doing the right thing. Come on, let's sneak inside.

April: It's hard to believe people actually like clubbing in a place that used to be a super hero base and then a mental asylum.
Donatello: Do you get the feeling we're being watched?
Michelangelo: Like we're on television?
Donatello: No. Why would we be on television? This is real life. No, I mean like someone is looking in on us right now and they know exactly what is going on.

Leonardo: Right. Sure. Have you guys noticed how dusty we look?

April: Hold your tongue! I'm not dusty! I'm young and fresh as a daisy!
Donatello: I think he was meaning us. Not you.

Leonardo: We seriously need to have a talk with our caretaker. This is ridiculous.

Michelangelo: Maybe it's just sewer dust. Maybe our caretaker has been busy. Life happens ya know dudes?

Raphael: I haven't been wiped down in years. This dust is like stuck to me.

She-Dragon: For some ninjas you guys sure are loud.
Michelangelo: Oh no dudes, we're totally toast.

She-Dragon: It's all ok, I promise.

Donatello: I don't think so. You work for Shredder.

She-Dragon: Goodness can you guys just listen to me for like two moments? I don't work for Shredder. I'm an undercover cop.

Donatello: Say what again?

She-Dragon: I'm an undercover cop who has been trying to bust Shredder for months. I've been pretending to work for him, which is what I have been wanting to say and nearly did but you acted like a damn fool.

Donatello: I don't know what to say.

Michelangelo: Donnie, you can totally date the glamazon chick now!

Donatello: That needed to really be a private thought Mikey.

Michelangelo: (whispers) Sorry.

April: So why tell us this truth now?

She-Dragon: Because I saw you guys sneaking in and thought you might like my help. Shredder and his clan are up to no good. They have been kidnapping mutants in the city.

Leonardo: For what reason?

She-Dragon: I'm not sure, but it doesn't sound good. Add to that they've been running drugs with their new stuff called Plastic, and they stand to rule this city before too long. I've been trying to get to their labs and see what I can find, but I can never make it on my own.

Donatello: We should work together.

Michelangelo: I was totally thinking the same thing!

Raphael: (sighs) Gosh Don, desperate much?

Donatello: Grr. Shut up Raph.

April: Easy guys. Let's focus on the mission at hand. Come on She-Dragon, lead the way...

Meanwhile in other parts of the same building...

Pinkie Pie: Do you think they'll let us throw a party here?
Mystique: No.

Pinkie Pie: (looks sad) Oh. Ok.

Mystique: (turns around at the sound of a visitor) Magneto!

Magneto: It has taken me forever to find you.

Mystique: Great. Now get me out of here.

Pinkie Pie: I'd like to get out too!

Magneto: Why couldn't you just shift into someone else and leave on your own?

Mystique: I don't know. Who cares? Just get me out!

Magneto: Ok.

Dr. Blight: Not so fast. What are you doing here?

Magneto: I am here to save my friend and the other mutants you have captive here.

Dr. Blight: Oh no, I don't think we can have that.

Magneto: My dear, you won't be able to stop me.

Dr. Blight: What can you do? Your powers are useless here. There's no metal. Now get in the cell with them.

Magneto: No.

Muscle soon arrives...

Dr. Blight: Rocksteady and Bebop, put him in the cell. He's just a tired old raggedy man.

Magneto: You will not lock me up.

Magneto: I will never be a prisoner. Never again.

Dr. Blight: You don't scare me old man. Now, enjoy your plastic prison.

Bebop: Dr. Blight, we have another problem. There are unwanted guests here.

Dr. Blight: Come. Show me.

Mystique: What the hell Magneto?

Magneto: Trust me on this. I know what I'm doing...

Back to Miss M and the gang...

Miss M: So your uncle lives in the city Jasmine?

Jasmine: Yes. I've been helping him with his business.

Miss M: Oh that's nice. What does he do?
Jasmine: He owns a night club.

Miss M: Really? Which night club?

Jasmine: It's called the Arkham Asylum Night Club. It used to be a mental institution but it got converted into a club.
Miss M: Is your uncle Shredder?

Jasmine: Why yes. Do you know him?

Miss M: Umm, yeah. We all know who Shredder is.

Irma: Yeah. He's kinda evil.

Guy Friday: Not kinda. He is straight up evil.

Frankenberry: Killer. Mad man. Drug lord. That's just a few of his job descriptions.

Jasmine: No, that can't be possible. You guys must be talking about someone else. My uncle has been nothing but kind.

Miss M: Oh Jasmine, Shredder is a terrible person. You have to stay away from him.

Jasmine: That's easy for you all to say! I was shipped away from my father and country to be here. I have no where else to go, Shredder has opened his home to me. I even work for him now!

Frankenberry: We could find a place for you to say Jasmine. He is a very bad man.

Jasmine: I'm not listening to this! I'm leaving. I won't listen to this. My uncle is a good man. You all have no idea what you are talking about.

Frankenberry: But Jasmine, you in danger girl!

Jasmine: And to think I thought we could all be friends. I've never been so disappointed in my whole life. Good bye.

Jasmine leaves slamming the door behind her.

Irma: We could have probably handled that better.

Miss M: (something suddenly dawns on her) Wait a second, you said April was with the Turtles? What are they doing again?

Back to April and the Turtles with new ally She-Dragon!

April: Ok, so exactly where are we going?

She-Dragon: There is a lab in this building. I have a feeling that will give us our answers.

Michelangelo: Man, I really want some pizza.

Leonardo: Soon Mikey, soon.

Foot Soldier: Halt. Do not go any further.

April: Crap.

Donatello: Which one is this again?

Michelangelo: Dude, I think that one was the Lucky 13 Foot Soldier.

Foot Soldier: Negative. I am the T-14 model.

Raphael: Whatever, this should be easy.

Leonardo: Raph, wait!

Raphael: New model my ass. Problem taken care of.

April: Wait! What's happening?!

T-14 Robo Foot Soldier: Skeech. Ziep. Blip. Systems coming back on. Halt. You are intruders and must be stopped.

Raphael: Oh yeah? What kind of pathetic robot is going to stop us?

T-14 Robo Foot Soldier: I will.

April 2015 Bodacious Baddie!

April: Crap.

Leonardo: All right gang, fight!

April: What is this thing?! We've never fought up against a Foot Soldier like this.

Leonardo: He's incredibly strong.

She-Dragon: I had heard about this model. Shredder was wanting to stay away from humans as his foot soldiers and instead created a robo version.

Raphael: Just keep slashin! We'll get it to stop eventually!

Michelangelo: Dudes and dudettes. That was rough!

Donatallo: My calculations are telling me that we can't go up against another one of these robo versions.

Michelangelo: Well if we could find some pizza in a crate or something, my health bar would be just fine.

April: Which way to the lab?

She-Dragon: Still this way...

Shredder: The lab is off limits.

Leonardo: Shredder!

April: Oh come on!

Michelangelo: All right Shred Head, we won't back down!

Raphael: Yeah, if it's a fight you want it's a fight we'll gladly give.

Shredder: I see there is a traitor in my midst. I knew I was paying you too much She-Dragon. Or maybe I paid you just right.

Donatello: What?

Shredder: Thank you for leading the Turtles to me.

Donatello: This was a set up?

She-Dragon: No, not at all. I'm really an undercover cop. Don't listen to him.

Shredder: Listen to me very well Turtles. No one gets a happily ever after. Surrender now.

Michelangelo: No way dude!

Shredder: Very well. Bebop, Rocksteady! Give these folks some incentive to give up, will you?

Bebop and Rocksteady walk in with Mona Lisa!!!

Michelangelo: Mona Lisa!

Mona Lisa: I'm so sorry. I was just wanting to order you guys some pizzas, and they were at the door.

Michelangelo: Are you ok babe? Shredder if you hurt my wife!!!

Shredder: Would you look at that? The wild party brother is all grown up trying to protect his wife.

Leonardo: Hold on Mikey, don't do anything stupid.

Michelangelo: He has my wife Leo!

April: What do you want Shredder?

Shredder: I want you all. As my prisoners. Or guests. Whichever word makes it sound most enticing.

Mona Lisa: Don't do it guys!

Shredder: My dear, hush. They will all do the right thing.

Raphael: Come on Leo, let's take these suckers down!

Leonardo: No Raph, we can't. No one can get hurt.

Shredder: Good. Always the wise and level headed one. Come now, follow Bebop and Rocksteady to your new living space. Oh, and She-Dragon...

She-Dragon: What?

Shredder: You don't go too far now, my dear worker bee.

Donatello: I can't believe we all trusted you.

She-Dragon: You can trust me. I don't know what he is doing, but I am truly an undercover cop.

Donatello: Whatever.

Shredder: We are alone. I must say, you fooled me. I never pegged you for an undercover cop.
She-Dragon: Well now you know. Why did you make them think I was still working for you though?

Shredder: Because my simple dear. The nerdy turtle was smitten with you. And if I plan on killing the Turtles I want them to experience pain and a broken heart before I murder them all.

She-Dragon: You are evil.

Shredder: I'm trying to run a city. Ruthless is part of the game. Now, what to do with you...

She-Dragon: (sighs in sarcasm) I guess I won't be getting my job back as a bouncer.

Shredder: No. Not at all. What I have in store for you will be brutal. No one tries to fool me. No one.


WoW: All right, the club is closed tonight and no one is around.

WoW: Hmm, how can I get in?

WoW: Good crime fighters always rise to the top.

WoW: I know Shredder is up to no good in there. Innocent lives are about to end...

WoW: And I will be the one to save the day!

Up next! May Sweeps!

Find out who has been stalking Sydney Rutledge!
Glimmer gets bad news!
It's a showdown in the city as Shredder tries to make more plastic!
And get ready for the Troma Toy Tribute that will have you spewing. Spewing gross stuff. Really gross stuff.


  1. nice breaking the fourth wall with the turtles comment about needing a dusting there. plus love jasmine reaction learning the truth about uncle shredder. and have no doubt some how in the end the turtles will win.

  2. Hey, did you know in the current comic Donatello was killed by Bebop and Rocksteady? I think someone should do the same to the writer.

    Nice photos as always.

  3. What!? Ultron is not the baddie of the month!? Is it because this an April post and you are saving him for May? Or could you not find an Ultron figure?
    I suppose we shall see. BTW Avengers 2 was awesome !! Have you seen it? There is a plot point that reminds me very much of the first live action Turtles movie. I will give you a hint, it involves retreating to a farm house!!
    These Turtles are all dusty, but they must be ones from the 2003 line right?I wonder how dusty your turtles from the 87 line are!!!

    Seeing Toy Miss M saying stuff like, "he kept pressuring me for sex" will never not be weird. But in a funny way!
    Why does anyone need to be friends with benefits with Miss M? She could be your girlfriend and then you already have the benefits of dating someone who owns a Snake Mountain, a Modulok AND she writes Stinkor fanfiction! -she already just comes with benefits!!