Diary of a Dorkette Giveaway!

I've always wanted to do this, but never really knew when would be a good time, but with the 500th post of Diary of a Dorkette looming on the horizon, what better way than right now to offer the very first toy giveaway on Diary of a Dorkette! Click the link below to read more about how you can enter to win some very cool prize packs! It's my way of celebrating 500 posts of crazy while also thanking you all for your support and friendship.

Billy: So let me see if I can understand this, April O'Neil is hosting a huge ball to celebrate the new offices of Diary of a Dorkette being renovated and you aren't sure you want to go?
Miss M: Correct.

Billy: Why?

Miss M: I don't know. It just doesn't seem like the right time to be celebrating. Crime is at an all time high. Mutants are still going missing every day. Glimmer is back in rehab. She-Ra is still missing in space. I moved out of the snowy lodge I was sharing with Irma and Guy Friday, it's just a lot going on right now.

Billy: Where are you living this time?

Miss M: I finally got a cute little apartment downtown. I feel like that old song, ya know, everything's great when you're downtown! The song with the movie shows and the bossa nova.
Billy: I'm not sure I follow.

Miss M: It doesn't matter. I've got so much to unpack. The idea of dressing up for a ball just sounds so exhausting. Plus I've just been tired lately.
Billy: You have been looking really tired lately. What's that about?
Miss M: I'm not sure really. I guess I've just been busy.

Billy: Speaking of busy, did you hear about the new super hero in the city? She goes by the name WoW. No one knows who she is but Page Six has been reporting that all the other super heroes in the city are nervous.

Miss M: Why would anyone be nervous of yet another crime fighter?

Billy: I don't know, but there's just been a lot of talk.

Miss M: Eh. You've seen one super hero you've seen them all. Either way, good for this new WoW person. Who knows, maybe she'll make a difference...

In other parts of the office...

Storm: With the help of this new crime fighter going by the name WoW, we were able to find the elusive Dr. Badvibes.
Leonardo: Yep, and my brothers have been hot on his trail. They've been following him and reporting back.
Storm: Ok great. Once they find a solid location we'll soon sneak in.
April: Can we wait on the sneaking in part? I have this really big ball coming up and I just don't want any major action and drama to unfold before then.

Leonardo: April, this could be our chance to finally stop the evil that is plaguing our city.
Storm: Precisely. These bad guys know what is happening to all the mutants.
April: I hear ya, but I need all hands on deck to make sure this event goes off perfectly.

Storm: I suppose waiting isn't such a bad idea. We need to really make sure that Dr. Badvibes leads us to the secret hideout of all this villainous activity and is not instead planning on tricking us.

April: Great! I am all about it. Now, can we talk briefly about this new crime fighter?

Storm: What about her?

April: I just can't help but wonder who she is...

While making notes for new office furniture, Miss M gets a visit from another friend...

Miss M: Oh He-Man! What a nice surprise!
He-Man: Hey M, I just wanted to stop by and give you an update.

Miss M: Oh yes please tell me you have found your sister. Tell me you know where She-Ra is?

He-Man: I wish. We haven't found an exact location yet, however Man-At-Arms is working on a device that should emit a signal that will pinpoint the location of She-Ra's sword. That will hopefully lead us to her.

Miss M: I can only hope. I really miss her and I feel like such a loser for abandoning her in space.
He-Man: Don't be hard on yourself. My sister wanted you to be safe.

Miss M: Has Skeletor been able to speak yet?
He-Man: No. He is still mute. I wish there was a way for him to tell us what happened up there.

Miss M: Me too. Either way, I hope we can reunite with She-Ra soon...

As the day winds down, April tries to tidy up some last minute things...

April: (hears a sound) Who goes there? My lipstick doubles as mace so you better not even think of robbing me.
Megan Fox: I'm not here to rob you.

April: Oh. If it isn't my arch nemesis Megan Fox. Come to steal my life all over again?

Megan Fox: Are you still complaining that I played you in a movie?
April: Hmm, let me see. Yes! I was meant to play myself in the biopic about my life and my friends the Ninja Turtles.
Megan Fox: That movie was from last summer! Get over it! Look, I know we've both tried to do some awful things to each other...

April: Really? You tried to steal my identity and my job. No one messes with my money. No one.

Megan Fox: Yeah well I haven't had much to do ever since Mila lost the reigns of Diary of a Dorkette. I need some work and I was wondering if you needed anything covered at the ball. There needs to be press at the event and I am great in front of a camera.

April: That remains to be seen, but I do agree, there should be some press at the event. After all, this ball is going to be the biggest event of the year, if not decade. I also need coverage.
Megan Fox: Great, sign me up.
April: Sure thing. You are hired. Let me just give you the information to the catering company.
Megan Fox: Excuse me?

April: Well the catering company I am using is short staffed and I need someone to help pass out food to the guests. I think you'd be great.
Megan Fox: Just what are you trying to say?

April: I'm saying that the only way you will be stepping foot in my party is if you're planning on passing out food. To me. And my guests. You didn't think I'd just invite you to my party did you? Face it doppelganger, no one gets to try and ruin my life and then enjoy my ball. Now get out of my way. I have work to do.
Megan Fox: You are the biggest witch I've ever met.
April: Good. Makes my heart healthy and happy to know this.

Megan Fox: This is hardly over!

April: Be sure to study up on the difference between beef and chicken sliders!

Else where, two unlikely prisoners discuss their dire situation...

Pinkie Pie: It's so dreary here. You know what this place needs?
Mystique: No, and I don't care.

Pinkie Pie: It needs a confetti canon. They always set the right tone for the perfect party.

Mystique: Do you ever shut up? All you have done is yammer on and on.

Pinkie Pie: (ignores the pleas for silence) Why are we here?

Mystique: I am not sure, but once Magneto finds me it won't be pretty for the bastards that have done this.

Pinkie Pie: Do you think we are going to die here?
Mystique: I dunno.

Pinkie Pie: You're tall, why don't you just walk over the fence? This doesn't seem like the best prison layout.

Mystique: You make a good point...

Miss M: Cut! Cut! Quiet on set!
Mystique: What?

Miss M: Come on now, you guys are going off script. Plus this background is all wrong. We need to get rid of the blue backdrop, you are blending in Mystique!
Mystique: I could just shape shift into someone else, but according to this lousy script, I can't use my powers. I think the pink pony has a point. Why are we locked in this silly prison? I could easily tip the fence over and be done with it to say nothing of my mutant powers. I highly doubt I'd really be locked up like this.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, she could just turn into a bird and fly away. Chirp chirp! Meui! Meui! Pew! Pew!

Miss M: Look, it doesn't work like that. Mystique, you have a dampener on that nulls your mutant power, ok? My goodness it's like you've never read a mutant story before. When you need a mutant to be vulnerable you take away their power with some sort of dampener.

Mystique: I just don't understand what is going to happen. What's your end goal?

Pinkie Pie: Yeah M! What are your plans for us? I heard  you were killing one of us off. I can't be killed off! There'd be a panic in the streets and on Twitter!

Miss M: Look, don't worry about what happens to you.
Mystique: I think we have reason to worry.
Miss M: Fine. Someone does die.

Pinkie Pie: What?!!?

Miss M: Yes. I can't divulge who, but someone bites it in the 500th post.

Mystique: Is it Pinkie or myself? Do I get turned into the drug Plastic?

Miss M: Oh silly! I can't tell you.

Mystique: Well if you don't tell me my fate than I'm just going to go on strike.

Miss M: Go ahead. I've got at least two replacements.

Miss M: Come on out Modern Mystique and Classic Mystique.

Modern Mystique: Ok, I'm ready for my scene. I can totally play up being behind a plastic fence as my prison. Of course, Magneto should have been the one locked in there and I should be the one rescuing him, but whatever.

Classic Mystique: No, no, no. You all have it wrong. I am the perfect Mystique for this story. Now where do I go?

Movie Mystique: Nonsense! Everyone wants to see me. I'm naked!

Miss M: Speaking of that, wardrobe needs to get here stat. You need some clothes on. Children read this blog.

Movie Mystique: Since when?

Miss M: Since forever. This is a family friendly blog.

Pinkie Pie: Oh come on Miss M, even I know that's bull. Don't pee in my Cheerios and tell me it's lemonade!

Miss M: That's grody. I'd never do that.

Movie Mystique: I'm not leaving my scene.

Miss M: Oh goodness, you are all such divas! Ok, take a break. I need to talk to the audience for a second...

Miss M: Hey! Ya you. The person reading this screen right now. I can totally see you. I can also spy a pretty nice collection in the background. Pretty impressive! So, here's the scoop. I'm beyond appreciative that you are taking the time right now to read all this silly messiness that I do. So in celebration of the upcoming 500th post on Diary of a Dorkette, I wanted to say thank you by doing a huge giveaway. Like huge. I have gone through my collection and pulled some of the coolest dorkiest items imaginable and I am offering them up for a giveaway.

Miss M: Here's how it works. I have five (yes five) special prize packs full of great stuff. Three prize packs can be won here on this very blog. The fourth prize pack is a special Instagram only pack while the fifth and final prize pack is exclusive to Twitter. More on the 4th and 5th packs in a second. For now, check out the three prize packs here.

1. Toys Who Love Girls, Who Love Boys, Who Love Girls

This prize pack is chock full of goodies from the pink aisle perfect for girls or boys!

Included are these mint in the box Barbie dolls. Ice Capades Barbie and My First Barbie were slightly right after my time of collecting Barbie dolls as a kid, but these were two of my favorites from that late 80's early 90's era. 

Who doesn't love a mini Anastasia figure? She was once a $1.87 at WalMart! Now she will be free for one lucky winner!

A slightly larger Anastasia figure is also part of this pack. I loved this toy line so much, and I know you will too! I had an Anastasia figure from Burger King that I made into a love interest for my Luke Skywalker Power of the Force figure. Oh the best of toy love stories were made back then. 

Also included are three bagged Cabbage Patch Kids Happy Meal toys from McDonald's. These are from the 90's and have a fun Holiday theme. 

This is the third Cabbage Patch Kid Happy Meal toy. I so loved the Happy Meal toys from the 80's and 90's and these Cabbage Patch Kids are no exception!

The last item in this pink aisle pack is a new unread first issue of the IDW Jem and the Holograms series. It is the Plugged In Edition variant cover and features a nice hot pink metallic lettering for Jem and the Holograms. 

2. The Prize Pack of Your Dreams!

Like a little horror on your shelf? Win this pack and never worry about sleeping alone in the dark ever again.

Included is a loose (but bagged) Rhino Alien figure from the old Kenner Aliens line. This is such a cool and vicious looking beast!

The stuff your nightmares are made of! New unused Nightmare on Elm Street sticker album with three unopened sticker packs! Hours of fun! Or maybe just a few minutes if you're fast at peeling the stickers...

Freddy gets his revenge with this lovable and immortal Funko Pop! figure! He can help you slice off the stickers for his album! And they say he was just a maniac. He's so much more.

There is no Dana, only this toy. Mint in the package Zuul figure also comes with the outer box you see behind it! 

And with his big return to the franchise and big screen this summer, it only seemed fair that this prize pack also had some love for Terminator 2, arguably the best Terminator film. Ever. That is all. 

3. From My Heart, To Your Collection.

A prize pack of some of my favorite items that some will think I am crazy to part with, but what can I say? I'm crazy for you all and I want one lucky winner to enjoy some truly epic items.

Do not adjust your screens. This prize pack does contain a mint Glimmer Princess of Power figure! Oh can you just hear that She-Ra theme song now?

There's more MOTU love with a mint Captain Glenn figure that will include her white mailer box. For those who don't know who this is, that's He-Man and She-Ra's momma. And she has a laser rifle. So you better watch out. 

The love fest continues with a sealed (though slightly damaged) box of California Raisins Valentines! It's never out of season for Valentine's cards. Never. Also joining the cards is a Valentine themed California Raisin pvc figure by Applause.

Rounding out this prize pack is another Valentine themed California Raisin pvc toy and a new IAmElemental blind bag figure! 

Now you've seen the three prize packs and hopefully you are excited and possibly wondering, "How do I enter to win such fun and interesting prizes?" It's really simple. If you are interested in one or more of the three prize packs above, leave a comment letting me know which packs you want to enter to win. Your screen name will then be thrown into jars for each prize pack. You have until the 24th of April to enter. Winners will be drawn and announced on April 25th 2015. Be sure to come back on the 25th! I'll then contact you privately for shipping information. If you do not want to publicly leave a comment but instead would like to enter the giveaway privately, email your choices to me at missmermista@gmail.com.

Also, International dorks and dorkettes scream in delight, because you can also try to win these prize packs too! Some of the very first people that read this blog came from England, Spain, and Canada, so you bet your sweet behinds that everyone can enter this contest.

As for the special prize packs on Instagram and Twitter, simply find and follow me on Instagram and Twitter. The rules are a little different but very easy. Go to Diary of a Dorkette on Instagram and there you will find a picture of the prize pack and the rules. As for Twitter, search for me under @DorketteTweets and I will be tweeting details about the 5th and final prize pack! If any of this sounds messy and confusing, just ask me any questions. I am happy to answer!

Miss M: So that's about it! Five incredible prize packs for the ultimate Diary of a Dorkette 500 Post Giveaway!

Miss M: I thank you all for always being so supportive and always being so friendly. Stay tuned for the epic 500th post on Diary of a Dorkette and good luck to the winners!