Wednesday, November 25, 2015

November 2015 Bodacious Baddie!

To the being that finds this and can actually read it,

My name is Irma Langinstein. I'm from a place called Earth. I'm a newcomer to Dimension X and sadly my whole reason for being here has gone up in smoke. My party and I were here for special reasons involving eventual travel to Dimension Y and Z as well as trying to find my friend's missing father. Now we've been on a detour as we are waiting to meet the ruler of this Dimension. I'm just frustrated. Mostly because I think I made a mistake coming here. I miss Guy Friday. I've messed up. I left him behind and now I'm stuck in Dimension X with a makeshift Ghostbusters crew, and hold up, is that Miss Piggy?!


Inside Krang's opulent palace in Dimension X,

Irma: What is Miss Piggy doing here? Louis, are my eyes playing tricks on me?
Louis: I'm not sure. We might need to get a closer view.

Irma: Yes, let's do it!

Louis: How long have we been here?

Irma: I'm not sure. This party feels like it has lasted a long time. I keep waiting for them to introduce us to this Krang guy.

Louis: Hopefully we can meet him soon and he can see that as newcomers we are not threats. We have a job to do.

Winston: Are you worried at all?

Janine: I worry all the time. Anything in particular?

Winston: This place seems odd, doesn't it?

Janine: Of course it does, but we're in another dimension, so I guess odd is normal?

Winston: Yeah. Hey, is that Miss Piggy?

Janine: I'll be damned. I think it is. What is she doing here?

Ray: So I was telling my friends I think it is important we try food from all over the world and now I'm adding other dimensions to that list too. Intergalactic cuisine sounds interesting, doesn't it?
Oola: It depends. The sludge we'd get in Jabba's Palace would not be called cuisine even thought it's all we had.

Ray: Yeah. I think I'd agree with that. Why do you think we are all here?

Oola: I'm not sure. I just know that any newcomer must meet the one they call Krang. I'm called Oola by the way.

Ray: Oh cool, I'm Ray. I think Miss Piggy is here.

Oola: Who is that?
Ray: You don't know who Miss Piggy is? Oh we need to fix that.

Ed: Oola seems to have made a friend.
Maleficent: It's nice to see her mingle. She isn't used to being free.

Ed: Yeah. I never want to see her chained to Jabba again.

Maleficent: That is all in the air. We first must survive this place. Something feels very wrong.
Ed: Maybe we're just wasting too much time from our actual plans?
Maleficent: It's possible.

Ed: What should be our plan anyway? I feel like this story has gotten far too complicated.
Maleficent: Must I always remind you? It's simple. We are trying to get to Dimension Z. Once there I can find a way to stop the cosmic queen known as Lady Kale. With her gone Miss M and I will be safe. 

Maleficent: I've used magic for far too many sordid reasons. Lady Kale thinks she invented the universe and can dish out punishment. No one will punish me. No one!

Ed: What if Lady Kale isn't in Dimension Z? What if she found Miss M? We're up against a super strong being. If she can write us out of the universe like you've claimed... I don't know that I'm the one to help you.

Maleficent: Of course you can help me. Your love for Miss M is pure and true. I know the dork girl can cast a spell on my nerves, but even she doesn't deserve to deal with the powers of Lady Kale. Now come on, you might have a point. We need to think of new plans. One of us might need to go to Earth.

Ray: So that's really all you need to know about the Muppets. They're pretty much the coolest group of folks ever.
Oola: They sound like a lot of fun. I hope that strange creature over there is indeed the Miss Piggy you have been referring to.

Ray: That would just be awesome.

Oola: And you say she is in love with a frog?

Ray: Oh yes, one of the most epic romances in the universe.

Oola: I hope they never meet Jabba. He'd enjoy eating both of them as a snack.

Ray: That's just wrong.


Lord Dregg: Attention!

Lord Dregg: Attention must be given to me now.

Lord Dregg: Krang has invited you all here as his guests. Dimension X is a special place. Newcomers must be treated kindly but with caution. We have prepared a dinner for you all, so please join me for a meal. Afterwards Krang will join you all with greetings and fine dessert.

Ed: Guess we're going to dinner?

Maleficent: I'm not really hungry. Come along, let's get this over with.

Back on Earth,

He-Man: You are telling me that Wonder Girl is not my sister and has never been my sister.
Miss M: Yes.

He-Man: Now who is She-Ra? I don't understand why I can't recall her.

Miss M: She-Ra is your sister. Your real sister. She was taken hostage by this universal force known as Lady Kale.

He-Man: This Lady Kale has the power to write people out of existence as if they never existed? Which is why I can't remember She-Ra being my real sister?

Miss M: Yes! You're getting it now! None of us can remember her. Except Skeletor. He was put under a silence spell by Lady Kale. I am assuming that spell skipped him from having to forget about She-Ra.

He-Man: This isn't good. Lady Kale must answer for her actions.

Miss M: That's just it, she doesn't see it that way. For her, I am the real threat because I have returned from the dead. This is why I am here. I really need your help He-Man. I know it sounds like a lot, but I know you are believing me now. Lady Kale is going to destroy us all.

He-Man: Hmm. You have helped me before in many ways so I will not let you down. I'll help in any way I can. For you and for the sister I lost though I never knew.

Miss M: I promise you He-Man, I will find a way to make us remember her. I promise.

In another part of town,

Superman: It's a bad idea.

Batman: How so?

Wonder Woman: According to you this Lady Kale is a supreme being. A far greater threat than any of us could deal with.

Batman: Lady Kale has to be stopped though.

Wonder Woman: This woman can erase anyone from the universe. What can we possibly do?

Superman: She has a point. How would we even begin to combat this?

Batman: I don't know. We can't just lie down and let this person ruin more lives.

Superman: Maybe there is a reason Lady Kale is here. Do we even know what her deal is?
Batman: It doesn't matter! Damn it my daughter was put in danger!

Wonder Woman: We know what has happened to you. I feel for you. I truly do. Family is something that is a fragile topic...

Batman: Don't tell me what is fragile. We are all in danger. This entire world around us could be erased.

Superman: What can we do? How do we stop the queen of the cosmos?

At the Cat Lady lair,

Catwoman: Is anyone here? Cheetah? Has anyone checked on Hordak?

Catwoman: Anyone back here?

Catwoman: It's normally so loud here.

Catwoman: Honey I'm home!

Catwoman: Oh I forgot, I'm not married.

Catwoman: What in the world?!

Catwoman: Cheetah! Are you ok?

Cheetah: Shit. This can't be happening.

Catwoman: What?

Cheetah: He's gone. Some woman helped Hordak escape. I tried to stop them, but he's on the loose.

Catwoman: Hurry, we need to find Catra.

In the city,

Lady Kale: What do you think?

Hordak: I feel new. Ready to take what's mine.

Lady Kale: So what are you waiting for?

Hordak: Nothing. No one can stand in my way. The world will crumble at the hands of the Horde once more!

The Diary of a Dorkette office,

April: Have you heard from Miss M?

Chris Gaida: No.

April: Crap. Something is going on with her. Wayne Manor was obliterated. It's gone.

Chris: Maybe they're remodeling?

April: No. I don't think so. Are you interested in doing some investigative reporting?

Chris: I've been living for this moment.

April: Great. We leave at day break.

Back in Dimension X during dinner time at the grand dining hall of Krang's palace...

Janine: How do we eat her? She still has a dress on. Why would we eat a giant with her dress on?
Ray: I've only seen her brains being served. That might make it easier.
Janine: None of this is easy. We can't eat anything. I don't even know how Miss Piggy down there can keep chowing down.

Ray: I don't think that is Miss Piggy.

Janine: I've lost any chance of having an appetite.

Ed: Maleficent, what's going on here?

Maleficent: (looks on in shock) I'm not even sure. This pig woman though seems to be eating for all of us.

???: (hears Maleficent) Pardon me, I've just been famished. Where are my manners! I'm Tammy Faye Bacon. Welcome to Dimension X my delicious newcomers!

Oola: You aren't a newcomer?

Tammy Faye Bacon: Of course not. This is my dinner. And you are all part of the main course.

Tammy Faye Bacon: Now why aren't you all eating? Maybe we need some sweets with our first course? Techtonic, bring in the sweet face.

Techtonic: At your request.

Techtonic slides the sweet skin of another giant's face on the main course.

The smell of peppermint lingers in the air.

Techtonic: A new skin madame.

Techtonic walks away but not too far. He stays close.

Tammy Faye Bacon: I just love the crisp peppermint taste of such sweet skin. Dig in everyone!

Irma: Umm, is this the only item to eat?

Tammy Faye Bacon: No. This morsel is but an appetizer. (motions to Techtonic) You are all part of my main course.

Irma: Umm Louis...

Louis: I think we're on the menu.

Krang: How is the latest batch of newcomers?

Lord Dregg: None of them seemed to be of good working potential for the mines. I sent them all to Tammy Faye Bacon instead.

Krang: Good. Let her pick them clean.

Lord Dregg: Yes. It's rather strange though. We ran scanners and found that a group of these newcomers all came from Earth.

Krang: Earth? I haven't heard of that place in ages.

Lord Dregg: I recall. You had planned an invasion once.

Krang: I did. Who hasn't tried to invade Earth? I liked the possibilities that play space provided. Lord Dregg, stop Tammy Faye Bacon's meal. I might have some use for those newcomers after all. I bet they'll bring me back to Earth and maybe then I'll be able to finish what I started so long ago.

Back at the delectable dinner, screams fill the dining room as the guests realize they are the main course.

Tammy Faye Bacon: Let's have some fun! Who should we dine on first?! Techtonic, you get the first pick.
Techtonic look around for his pick. The guests grow uncomfortable.

Techtonic: This one will be perfect.

Screams fill the dining hall as Techtonic claims his first victim.

Irma: I can't be eaten by a Miss Piggy knock off!

Tammy Faye Bacon: Enough! I'm a Gorgeous Creature! Now be quiet and let me slit your throat!

Louis: Irma!

Maleficent: We've got to get out of this place. Time is being wasted. Any ideas?

Oola: We fight our way!

Ed: Eh. This is all a step above working in the food court when I was alive.

Winston: Meat is murder! Meat is murder!

Everyone panics.

Tammy Faye Bacon: The more you all fight the more stress there is in the meat and the more sour you will taste! Stop moving about!


The rebels of Dimension X arrive! In style!

Zak: This dinner is done. Time for dessert.

Kala: Better join us now if you want to live and taste the sweetness of freedom!

Irma: Who are you?

Dask: We're a part of the rebellion. We've brought along a new friend too.

Guy Friday pops into the room!

Guy Friday: Hey Irma! These guys are the real deal. They'll save us all.

Irma: Guy Friday?!

Guy Friday: It's me. Now come on, before you end up in the digestive track of Princess Pig.

Irma: I can't believe you are actually here.

Guy Friday: I'm here. No where else I'd even want to be. You're here. So let's go. We can reconfirm our love later.
Irma: Ok. The food stunk here anyway.

Tammy Faye Bacon: Curse you morsels! You are supposed to be my morsels! You rebels won't get away with this!

Zak: Come on tubular toys and dolls, there's more bodacious baddies in this dump so we need to leave like three courses ago.

Zak: Follow us!
Kala: If you want to live.
Dask: And eat some tasty viddles.

To be continued!

As our heroes face numerous threats along various dimensions, the clock is ticking towards the end of 2015. Will All My Toys be spared or will it be completely wiped away from existence? Stick around! And for those who will be celebrating, have a very Happy Thanksgiving, with lots of tasty viddles.


  1. Interesting developments! I really need to catch up on my reading. Keep up the good work Miss M!

    1. Thank you Mason! I have so much fun stuff planned. I am really looking forward to all the fun toy pictures and everything. Hope all is well.

  2. love the tammy faye bacon homage with miss piggy. though that wonder woman figure really shows that she is the one dc character that can't seem to translate into plastic without looking like a body builder on steroids. plus would be surprised if hordak does not wind up betraying lady kale for his own agenda in the end.

    1. My boyfriend grew up with a pet pig named Tammy Faye Bacon and I just thought that would be perfect. I originally was going to use the actual name of that pig doll from the Gorgeous Creatures line, whose name was Princess Pig, but I thought Tammy Faye Bacon was funnier. I am always torn with how Wonder Woman is portrayed as a figure. I feel like that particular figure has very long legs and short arms. Her proportions look off. I can't say much about Hordak except for that he will not be the only bad guy making a splashy appearance with this story. I hope it will be really good.

  3. I think it is hilarious that you have Ray saying how great the Muppets are! We all know Ray is Dan Aykroyd ! Famous from being in the first (and, technically the ONLY GOOD) lineup on SNL! When they had the Muppets shoe horned into the show, the cast HATED IT!! Belushi famously called them "The Mucking Fuppets"! Haha! I hear the new "adult" Muppet show also sucks, but I have not watched it. I think "Meet the Feebles" Cornered the market on adult Muppets!
    And speaking of brain eating, you NEED to watch izombie! It will be you new favorite show! I PROMISE!!

    1. I had not intentionally made the bit about Ray liking the Muppets based off the reality that Dan Aykroyd wasn't a big fan. I feel like I knew that there was an issue, and maybe it was in my subconscious, but it wasn't intentional to make it a bit ironic. I like it though!

      I also like the new Muppet Show. It's pretty funny. I wouldn't say it's the best show ever, but I certainly laugh. I don't know how long I will watch it for, but I wouldn't say it sucks.

      I have seen some of izombie. I heard it's a really good show, I just haven't caught up with it. I have been so behind on tv watching. I need to really catch up. But from what I've seen I like the izombie show.