Monday, November 30, 2015

November 2015 Woman of Wonderosity!

Dear Diary,

Lady Kale is here on Earth. She has already destroyed Wayne Manor. Bruce and I have been working hard to find other heroic types to help us. I fear it will result in nothing. Lady Kale is far too strong. I also fear she has robbed me of someone very precious. It's denial that's keeping me in a hazy fog. I only want to find a way to end this now and make sure we all have a universe to still float around in. 

-Miss M

Miss M: Any luck?

Batman: No. Superman and Wonder Woman both feel sympathy for our cause but they have no idea how to be of service, so the best thing they feel they can do is nothing at all.

Miss M: Oh Bruce.

Batman: What about you?
Miss M: I've got He-Man and the rest of the Masters of the Universe helping. I don't know what they can do though. I'm really worried.

Batman: We aren't letting Lady Kale get away with this.

Miss M: I know. She's already gotten away with so much...

Batman: We need to talk about Yvie.

Miss M: I can't.


April: There you are! Chris and I have been looking for you two!

Chris Gaida: Hey. We're investigative reporting.

April: M, what is going on? Wayne Manor is gone! Are you ok? Where's Yvie?

Miss M: (fights back tears) Yvie is being cared for by Miss Elizabeth.

April: Oh. I see. What can I do to help?

Miss M: You can stay out of this and get to safety. Things are getting a bit crazy around here.

April: I've been through enough action and adventure in my life to tell me that I'm not going anywhere. 
Chris: Neither am I.

April: Oh and M, remember when we were recalling our friendship with Glo in high school? 
Miss M: Yes.

April: Well I haven't been able to find her, it's as if she doesn't exist. You don't think Lady Kale erased her do you?

Miss M: No, we wouldn't be able to remember her if she had been erased.

April: That's so odd. What happened to her?

Chris: Umm ladies, and Batman, we've got a problem.

Miss M: What is it?

Chris: People are tweeting about Hordak. He's on Main Street. Maybe he wants ice cream?

Miss M: What!?

April: Ok come on Chris, we've got a story to capture.

Chris: On it boss lady.

Miss M: Let's go.
Batman: We'll be right after you.

Miss M: Come on Bruce, we need to go. Lady Kale has got to be behind this! She might even be there.

Batman: Don't worry. We will be there. I need us to talk about something. About Yvie.

Miss M: No.
Batman: M, our reality has changed. We need to discuss this. We might not have another chance to do so. Things might get too chaotic.

Miss M: There's nothing to talk about! Our little girl is just fine!

Batman: Babe. I don't think so. She seemed so different, like a crystal shedding its light silently.

Miss M: Nice Final Fantasy reference, but we need to go. Yvie is fine but the world around us is not. 
Batman: (sighs) Ok. Let's go.

Miss M: (pauses) Bruce?

Batman: Yes?

Miss M: She's gone isn't she?

Batman: (nods and fights back tears) Yes. She is.

Miss M: (cries) I don't know what to do. It hurts so much. 
Batman: I know.

Miss M: How are we going to say goodbye to her? Once this is all over Miss Elizabeth is going to take her to the After Life. I can't do that! I just can't. We have a whole lifetime to still have with our baby.

Batman: I know. There might still be hope though. If this Lady Kale can rewrite the universe, maybe she can write everything right again. If that makes sense.

Miss M: Maybe so. I love you Bruce.

Batman: I love you too. 

In space,

Samus: Must hurry. I can only hope no one is following me.

She runs through corridors trying to remain unnoticed.

Ready to fight at a any moment, Samus can only hope she is making the right choice risking her life for this special meeting.

She is a woman of wonderosity, full of skills and abilities that would make other beings tremble.

Samus: Suit on!

Samus: I'm here.

Guinan: It would appear so. Thank you for meeting me here.
Samus: These secret meetings are not doing us any favors.

Guinan: I know, which is why you need to act now. I have told you before that I work with a team of scientists, intellectuals, and all around bad asses who have traveled to the future. They are trying to change something that happens on a planet called Earth.
Samus: I've heard of Earth.
Guinan: There are cosmic forces trying to ruin the universe. I need your help with this.

Samus: Sorry, my goal is to find and stop Horoscope. She unleashed a Metroid. She can unleash more. That is a bigger threat to the universe.

Guinan: Horoscope works for this cosmic threat I am talking about. Help take out the threat and Horoscope can be yours.
Samus: What do you want me to do?

Guinan: I want you to travel to Earth. With some guests.
Samus: Earth is far.
Guinan: Not in your ship.
Samus: Ok, so who is joining me?

Guinan: I'd like to introduce you to my friends, Sulu and Shard.

Sulu: Hello. I am very glad to be returning to Earth with you.

Shard: Yes. As am I.
Samus: Sulu and Shard? You have interesting names.

Sulu: My name is fairly common where I am from. It was either that or George, which would have been just an odd name.

Shard: Shard is merely a code name. my real name is actually Glo. This mission is very important to me. We have a lot of work to do, so let's get on with it.

Samus: Ok. One quick trip to Earth. I hope it's lovely this time of year.

Guinan: Don't count on it.

Shard: Let us be on our way then.

At the headquarters of Lady Kale, also known as Dimension Z,

Glimmer: How are we still alive?
Velvet Sky: I don't know. Lady Kale got her information on where Miss M was at, so we should be free.

Glimmer: I don't think we are ever getting out of here. I deserve it after what I did.

Velvet Sky: Please, if you hadn't said anything I would have gladly been the one to share Miss M's whereabouts.

Glimmer: I just didn't want to die and be erased, forever forgotten. Do you think Miss M would ever forgive me?
Velvet Sky: What makes you think we are even getting out of here alive? Face it, M will never know you are the one that told Lady Kale where she was at...
???: Psst. Psst.

Glimmer: Do you hear that?
Velvet Sky: Yeah.

???: Hi. I'm Shonti. I'm a member of the Cosmic Council that Lady Kale is the queen of.

Glimmer: Please don't kill us!

Shonti: Don't worry. I'm not here to hurt you. You actually have some support from others in the council.

Glimmer: Can you help us out of here?

Shonti: We're working on something. Lady Kale has been gone for a moment, no doubt finding a way to extinguish Miss M from the universe. We fear the lady has gone mad with her power.

Velvet Sky: Who gives a snapchat?! Get us out of here!

Shonti: Like I said, we are working on something. Give us time. We will have you both safe soon. On this the council's word is true.

Back on Earth,

Miss M: Are you sure she doesn't need any help?

Catwoman: Positive. If anyone is going to be able to stop Hordak it will be Catra. Their history is just too rich not to work.

April: How long are we going to be camping out here? The Horde is running roughshod all over the place! This city will become a Fright Zone before you know it!

Miss M: It should be fine. He-Man and his friends are scattered out making sure the Horde are vanquished. Isn't that a lovely word? Vanquished. I love the sound of the letter v.

Chris: It's a mediocre letter at best.

Miss M: I'm not arguing with you about this right now.

Chris: We'll settle the debate once the world is saved.

Batman: Has anyone seen Lady Kale? All we have seen is Hordak and the Horde.

Miss M: I worry about that. I don't understand why she hasn't been able to strike. She could easily wipe us all out with a simple command.

Billy: I've done some scouting, Lady Kale is no where to be found. She's either left Earth or she is hiding very well. Most likely plotting.

Miss M: I just don't like this. What is she waiting for?

Chris: Who knows? Right now it looks like Catra and Hordak are about to tussle.

Hordak: My once hopeful prodigy. Catra, where did it all go wrong? You were to be my greatest Horde member.

Catra: I decided other things for myself. What can I say? I was more interested in growing up and being a Cat Lady.

Hordak: Poor choice. I had such high hopes for you.

Catra: So how did you get free Hordak? We had you as a prisoner for what seemed forever.

Hordak: You know the answer Catra. I was met by the divine Lady Kale.

Catra: Interesting. She'll pay for that.

Hordak: No, I'm afraid not. She will destroy you all. No one is a match for Lady Kale.

Catra: Maybe so, it still won't stop me from killing you first.

Hordak: Let's give that a try, you and I.

In Dimension X at the rebel hideout,

Zak: You cool cats should be totally safe here. Krang hasn't been able to find us.

Dask: Yeah, he lost too many brain cells being a douche bag.

Irma: What is the deal with him anyway? If you guys hadn't saved us, we'd all be a meal plan for Tammy Faye Bacon.

Kala: Dimension X was once a peaceful place, until Krang arrived. He took over the dimension and created it anew in his own vision. If you weren't on board with his plans you were either fed to his creatures or you were forced into servitude in the mines. We formed a rebellion serving our princess to restore Dimension X to its former glory.

Irma: I feel like every story has some riff of the rebellion issue. What's up with that? Is there always some oppressive force trying to take over the world?

Kala: Yes. It's a theme that occurs everywhere. We have learned how to operate and fight for our freedom by the great Bucky O'Hare. He's currently away on a mission. He is joined with behavioral expert Kirby O'Neil.

Irma: Did you just say Kirby O'Neil?!

Guy Friday: That's April's dad!

Dask: You know Kirby?

Irma: Oh my. We've been looking for him. Where is he, will he be back?

Kala: We don't really know. They both went on a trip to Dimension Y to find the long lost sibling to some talking turtles he knew.

Irma: The Ninja Turtles!

Guy Friday: They have a long lost sibling?
Irma: First I've ever heard of this.

Louis: Is there anyway we could get to Dimension Y? We're trying to unlock the secrets to the universe.

Winston: This is a very important mission of our own. I'd also like to leave this place. It's too weird for me.

Maleficent: I hate to be a bore or to interrupt. Actually, I don't care what I am. Could someone explain how long we will be here? I have my own agenda as well and it has been delayed long enough. I am ready to leave.

A new character to this already enormous cast steps out for her chance to shine!

???: We are all connected in this story, if you haven't already figured that out. Leaving now would disrupt what is to come.

Zak: All right cool cats, say hello to our princess, Princess Rose.

Rose: Hello new guests. I am the Princess of Dimension X, or as I once called it, Rose Petal Place. Now, before anyone leaves, you must first hear me out. For if you don't, the entire universe will be in even more peril.

Irma: Crap, when will this ever end?

Ed: I was thinking the same thing. It's been going on too long.
Oola: I actually don't mind. It has to lead to some sort of ending, right?

Soon dear readers, soon! As we say good bye to November, prepare for the ultimate showdown. Stick around as everything will reach a fevered conclusion in December!


  1. Oh my GOD!! That Zero Suit Samus is FANTASTIC!! -also, I wanna know what happens with the story and all-but that ZERO SUIT SAMUS!!!
    I am drooling on my keyboard! Thanks for ruining my keyboard with this story M! And where did you get that toy anyway? They have a Zero Suit action figure? I need to google this!! She just looks so...POSEABLE!!! (sigh!) ((Swoons)

    1. I love that Zero Suit Samus, but she is sadly not a poseable figure. She is a Nintendo Amiibo. I wish they'd make a figure of her in that suit. That would just be awesome. I'd also really love a Samus figure based off her original Nintendo zero suit at the end of the game with the video game colors. That would be awesome!

  2. love how you found a use for that old toy biz shard figure. and also the old rose petal from rose petal place. and if nothing else once lady kale faces the final showdown hope as a reward toy miss m and batman are given yvie back alive .as for the lost turtle sibling thinking a appearance by venice de milo. a second figure version.