Sunday, July 27, 2014

July 2014 Bodacious Baddie: The Conference of Evil- Part 1!

Previously on All My Toys...

Miss M died at the end of 2013 courtesy of a plot devised by TNA wrestler Velvet Sky and Hordak. After briefly living in the After Life, Miss M made a deal with Maleficent. The dork girl would get to return to Earth and live, if she could find an old dragon figurine from Maleficent's childhood.

Back on Earth, and in the wrong body, Miss M tried her best to explain to her loved ones that she was indeed the real Miss M. No one believed her. She did however find friendship from Bruce Wayne. A new deal was soon made, that if Miss M could find the dragon figurine, Maleficent would completely fulfill the wish and allow Miss M to return to her original form. Only Miss M sat on her hands and went on a slew of other adventures before eventually finding the dragon figurine in Bruce Wayne's Archival Room; of all places.

No longer content to wait, Maleficent gained control of the After Life and spirited away to Earth in the form of Superwoman, hoping to find Miss M and her dragon figure. Now, the Conference of Evil is upon the world, and Miss M is trapped inside Bruce Wayne's Archival Room trying to find the dragon figurine. Can she make it? And will she finally be reunited with her body? Or will Maleficent bring upon a dark curse across the world? Read on for Part 1 of the Conference of Evil!!!

April: Hello viewers, this is April O'Neil reporting for Channel 6 News. We are live at the Conference of Evil, which can only be described as a block party of villains pouncing across Main Street. The public is encouraged to stay inside their homes if they are scared by such outrageous acts of villainy. However, so far, it appears that these villains are simply wanting to celebrate their villainy peacefully. The itinerary for the Conference includes a bevy of special events including a concert featuring talent from the Misfits. A hair stylist cut-off where the winner's best hair creation wins a bag of stolen money, it is rumored that Zarana, sister to Zartan is in the running to win. There will even be a pie eating contest. With so much fun going on right now, one has to wonder, just how evil could this conference truly be? Stick around here for more updates as the Conference unfolds. This is April O'Neil reporting live for Channel 6.

Off camera, April surveys the conference going on around her. She notices some familiar faces and other faces that look positively terrifying.

Poison Ivy: I think we should leave. We were doing a good thing by staying on the run.

Harley Quinn: I know Red, but would ya look around? It's the Conference of Evil. Can you smell the stench of rotten villainy in the air?

Poison Ivy: I can only smell pie.

Harley Quinn: Oh Red. Today is a good day to enter a pie eating contest. Come on!

Double Trouble: All right She-Ra, I'm in the Conference of Evil. No one is going to notice me, I'm in my Horde disguised face. So I will follow the plan and be on the lookout for any information regarding Miss M's death. Got it. (hangs up the call from She-Ra)


She-Ra: That was Double Trouble. She's at the Conference of Evil. I'm hoping she can find information that will help us find Miss M's killer.

Sea Hawk: She will. I have faith in her. Now, are we going to talk about what just happened here?
She-Ra: What is there to say?

Sea Hawk: We just kissed and you are with Bow.

She-Ra: I know. I hate myself. I have to tell him.
Sea Hawk: Or we could just share another kiss.

She-Ra: Ugh. Sea Hawk, I've got to go.

Back to the Conference of Evil...

Lo Pan: I'm looking for the girl with the green eyes!

Icy: Get lost creep!

Lo Pan: I must find her.

Catra: Hey watch it jerk!

Lo Pan: You! You are the girl I have been looking for. The girl with the green eyes.

Catra: What?
Lo Pan: Would you care to go on a date? I know this really lovely buffet on 7th and 8th.

Catra: But there's a pie eating contest.

Lo Pan: True, but this is a buffet. Where the nuggets are just like the ones from McDonald's. All you can eat McDonald's knock-off nuggets. Doesn't that sound, heavenly?

Catra: Eh. You had me at nugget.

Shredder: It's hard to believe another Conference of Evil is here. Last year was a bit of a mess. We tried to kill this dorky girl...

Dr. Blight: Look Shredder, do you want me to listen to your stupid stories, or do you want me to find the Mutagen Man? You can't have it both ways.

Shredder: I'm really regretting ever having worked with you.
Dr. Blight: Yeah, and I was better off trying to kill the planet.

Double Trouble: I'll listen to your story. Sounds interesting...

Superwoman: Blasted Miss M. Where is she? Time is running out! Time is running out and I need my dragon figurine! I truly thought she was going to come through for me. I'm going to destroy her.

Meanwhile, inside Bruce Wayne's Archival Room...

Miss M: Ohh I'm so hungry. How long have I been in here?

Sherry: According to my calculations it has been two days.
Miss M: I've been stuck in here for two days?!
Sherry: I told you not to enter. There is no way out for you.
Miss M: Oh my goodness, two days. The Conference of Evil must be going on right now, which means Maleficent is there disguised as some super hero and I really need to give her back her stupid dragon figurine.
Sherry: Sounds like a personal problem.

Miss M: (notices some cake) Oh. Cake. That should give me more life points.

Miss M heads for the delicious cake... but nearly gets killed by traps!

Miss M: What kind of Archival Room is this?! I just want out!

Sherry: Say the words and I will put you out of your misery.

Miss M: Go to Hades you stupid computer program!

Sherry: Very well. Prepare to die Miss M. Unleash the virus.

Miss M: I just want cake.

A low rumble echoes in the room causing Miss M to turn slowly. She screams at the sight of something horrific!

Miss M: Help!!!
William Birkin: Shhh. You'll wake the critters.

Miss M: AHHH!

Back at the Conference of Evil...

April: Irma, isn't this whole thing strange?

Irma: What's strange about it?
April: I just saw Mumm-Ra toss back three blueberry pies like it was nothing.
Irma: You should go to the gift shop. The swag they have is amazing. I just refuse to stand in the long line though for this year's exclusive. I mean, does anyone really need a die cast replica of Mon*Star's squid?

April: M would have wanted that.

Double Trouble: Come on She-Ra, answer. Pick up your phone! I've got all the details we could possibly ever need on Miss M's death.
Scorpia: Hey! You look familiar.

Double Trouble: Oh. Yeah. Well... we've worked together. In the Fright Zone.

Scorpia: We have?
Double Trouble: Sure, can't you see that my face is evil? I even have a Horde Crossbow. Standard factory issue.
Scorpia: Oh. Sorry. You just don't look Horde.

Double Trouble: Yeah. Listen, since we're practically best friends now, do you know anything about Hordak and a woman that goes by the name Velvet Sky?

Back in the Archival Room...

Miss M: Eww! Gross, your eye is squishy!
William Birkin: RAAWWRR!!!

Miss M: I am done with this. Go back to whatever test tube you came from!

Sherry: I am surprised you are this strong.
Miss M: Yeah, well, when there's cake involved, I do what I can.

Sherry: You will still die.

Miss M: All right, listen up you shorter version of Danger, I am not going to die today! So just freakin back off.

Sherry: Initiate code Meteor.

Miss M: Oh good grief.

Mystery voice: (calls out from above) Cancel security measures Sherry.
Sherry: As you wish Master Wayne.

Miss M: (looks up to see Batman falling to the ground) What are you doing here?

Batman: I got nervous when you went missing for two days. I'm mostly all healed up and I figured you would be in here.
Miss M: Fighting for my life no doubt! Would you look at me? I haven't had any food in two days and my thighs are still like this.
Batman: No time for jokes M. You snuck in my Archival Room. This place is special to me.

Miss M: Really? This room of horrors is special? It's like the worst place ever. How could you not even help me? I've been here without food for two days. And that half-wit security program taunted me with cake.
Batman: I'm helping you now.

Miss M: Well I don't need your help! Now get out of my way and let me find that damn dragon figurine!
Batman: That item belongs to me.
Miss M: No, actually it doesn't. It belonged to Maleficent. And now, that crack pot is on the loose disguised as Superwoman and there will be no peace until her childhood dragon figure is returned to her.
Batman: Yeah, I get it. You do her a solid, and then she gives you back your old body.
Miss M: That would be part of the plan, yes.

Batman: How do you know you can trust her?
Miss M: I'm not entering into this blind. She is powerful. And I know she can follow through with her promise. She saved my life last year and I have to do this for her. I also want my old body Bruce.
Batman: Your body is fine just the way it is now.

Miss M: But this isn't me. Please. Stop being such a weird rich white guy and help me.
Batman: I'm afraid I'm going to lose you.
Miss M: What?
Batman: I've grown fond of you.

Miss M: Well, I've grown fond of you too. You're Batman. You saved me from a dark place and you can do that again. Please, where is this dragon figure?
Batman: (sighs) I'd rather just run away with you. Leave all this behind. Just me and you.
Miss M: Oh Bruce. Or Batman. It's hard calling you Bruce when you are in that suit. My heart belongs to someone else though. Michelangelo is waiting for me. I have to return to my old body so he can see that.

Batman: It's a shame he can't see what I see right here.
Miss M: Oh you are so kind, and maybe in an alternate Earth we'd be together. But let's be real, I'm not good in cat suits. And we all know that you have a penchant for a good cat suit.

Batman: I don't want to talk about this anymore. Come on, I'll show you.

Moments later...

Batman: There it is, the dragon figurine...

Miss M: Oh wow. This thing is huge in person!
Batman: It's forged with mystical powers. I thought it was just a toy feature, but it is more than a gimmick.

Miss M: How can I set it free?

Batman: Here. Press this button.

And with the dragon free, Miss M rushes off, ready to fulfill her destiny!

Acorss realms and worlds, the After Life is abuzz with activity.

Miss Elizabeth: Oh Angels, thank you for saving me. I don't think it is too late yet.

Angela: What is going on? The After Life is in ruin.

Miss Elizabeth: It's Maleficent. She is searching for something on Earth, and if she finds it, she'll create a portal that will bring the After Life and Earth together.

Ed: Whoa, Maleficent can do that?
Miss Elizabeth: Apparently so. She also had help.

Tiffany: From Miss M?
Miss Elizabeth: Yes. I don't think Miss M realizes what she was doing, but she was being tricked. Maleficent is going to place a curse on anyone in her way and with the evil dead returning to the land of the living, well, the very fabric of time and space will be disrupted.

Cosmic Angela: What do we do?

Miss Elizabeth: We can only hope and pray that Maleficent does not get that dragon figure.


Widow Maker: No one will be fighting for the After Life. It's all in Maleficent's hands now!

At the Conference of Evil...

Miss M: All right, I've got the dragon with me. I just need to find Maleficent. Surely she is here.

April: (looks to Irma) Don't look now, but I think that loony lady pretending to be Miss M is here.

Irma: Let's hope she doesn't try to attack anyone.

Maleficent: (scans the crowd) Ah yes. There you are. Stupid dork girl.

Maleficent: Do you have what I want?

Miss M: Maybe.
Maleficent: Let me see.
Miss M: No. Not until you return me to my old body.

Maleficent: You don't get to make that call dork girl. Now hand over my dragon figure!

Miss M: (pauses) I can't.

Maleficent: Oh hell.

April: Irma, what are they talking about over there?

Irma: I'm not sure. It looks serious though.

As Miss M prepares to hand over the dragon figure to Maleficent, a loud noise bursts through a crowd.

Mutagen Man: She is here! I can feel her unique energy signature. I have finally found Miss M, my true love!

April: Is that Mutagen Man?
Irma: April, didn't he have a crush on you in high school? When he was human?

April: Yeah, but he actually fell for M. He liked her clothes from Contempo Casuals.

April: Irma! Watch out!

The Mutagen Man crashes through the crowd.

Maleficent: What is this?

Mutagen Man: You do not look like her, but I can feel it, you are her. And you will be mine.
Miss M: No, wait!

Miss M: Let me go! Put me down!

Mutagen Man rushes off with Miss M.

Maleficent: Oh blasted! This is not going to end well. (readies herself to follow Mutagen Man and Miss M)

Wonder Woman: Not so fast Superwoman.

Maleficent: Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

Wonder Woman: I wish I was. This can't continue though. The Conference of Evil is now over.

Maleficent: No you moron, it has only just begun!

July 2014 Bodacious Baddie!
The Conference of Evil Part 1

The Conference continues this weekend with part 2!


  1. Wow-OK, first, I have not watched Nickelodeon in a while, is that Mutagen Man from the Nick TMNT show? I like the original better, but I am glad they are using some of the old school cartoon and toy characters. Also, I really want a replica of Mon-Star's squid ship! I didn't see a Mon-Star figure in here though, do you have one? I do! Though I always thought that squid would fit better in the Tiger Sharks cartoon.
    And as much fun as this glimpse of the conference has been-I WANT TO SEE THE PIE EATING CONTEST!!!
    Also, do you mean in REAL life you can't pull off a cat costume? Cuz, I think we need some proof. Dress up like either Catwoman, or one of the pussycats from Josie and the Pussycats, and let the PEOPLE decide!! I think you could rock that look!

  2. Love it! Can't wait to see what happens next.

  3. You'd think David Lo Pan would step up to dating sites by now. I'm sure theres a way you can input a physical description to your compatibility profile on eHarmony and the like.

    William Birkin looks like the kind of fellow that would make John Carpenter curl up in the corner and puke!

    Took me a second to recognize that the figurine was Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon. Nifty!

    The more I see of Angela's Angels the more I think this is what it would be like of the late HR Geiger designed a line of lingerie.

    All that crashing, bashing and body in a liquid container, I wonder if Mutagen Man and Kool Aid Man are related?

    Fight! To be continued? aww man...

  4. Man, those Resident Evil figures are rad! Makes me wanna play RE2 again. Good show!

  5. those resident evil figures show how creepy the film is. and love how just when it looked like Mal was going to win love came and spoiled her plans in the name of mutagen man.